carol's parents loved her because she was their child, the simple obligation of blood relation. but they didn't like her as she was, they viewed her (as so many parents do their children) as something they owned and thus were entitled to try to fix and change until she was something easier for them to stomach.
similarly, the hive's love for carol is of a biological imperative. they love her simply because they can't help it. it is an instinct, it's what they were made to do. it's unconditional in its worst form. unchanging, unevolving. and they want to fix her too, don't care what she really wants because they've decided they know best.
helen made a choice, to love carol. she kept making that choice for 20+ years, even when it wasn't easy. she didn't intend to fix carol, but she wanted to help her, to push her to be better, because that's what a good relationship is. and she knew how to do that, how to stop her from going too far, from hurting herself. she didn't claim there was something wrong with carol, and certainly not that she was the solution, but she wasn't enabling her either.
manousos, too, is making a choice. to cross a continent and risk his life to meet her. to not leave when it isn't easy, to stick around for her so she can eventually choose him too.
love is a choice. and choice can be difficult. but love without choice is unsustainable.
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