://SURVIVE

--- ( HOW DID YOU SURVIVE ? ) they ask. how much did they have you b l e e d; how long did they make you s u f f e r; how low did they force you d o w n;—until you had their blood g l i s t e n i n g on your t e e t h; —until your ,suffering p a l e d in comparison to their own. —until you learned to enjoy the sounds of screams. --- ( I DIDN’T. ) you reply.

[ontcri]

hey everyone heads up that our house no longer has internet, we just couldn’t afford to pay the bill this month so we don’t have any. as a result i’ll probs not be on tari often unless i’m at uni and even then it’ll be scarce bc uni ends in about a week before we go on ‘ break ’ for a hot sec. i love yall. but consider this an unwanted SEMIHIATUS

[fathersdeath-deactivated2018082]

“ YOU’RE THE BROTHER I CHOSE. ”  / a jim lawson & alex murphy aesthetic, don’t reblog unless you’re @gcrydays

[gcrydays]

@cockrch ! 

       “ your dad was a great man. ” jim remembers alex fondly. though he can rarely speak to purpose of why alex would want to kill himself ( doing any crime on the ark was basically suicide as an adult ). “ if you were half the man he was you’d be a good one. ” his tone turns harsher, colder. fingers tight around the trigger of the gun in his hands, “ sadly you don’t seem to be able to even muster that much of him. ”

[gcrydays]

                 #PLOTCALL

[gcrydays]

                 #PLOTCALL

[gcrydays]

                     i had a friend was a big baseball player                                                                  back in high school

[gcrydays]

                 #PLOTCALL

[gcrydays]

farm station survivors. ( all but one deceased as of s05e01 )

[gcrydays]

VERITY

hiding, he’s hiding, and pointing a gun at her. shock, horror, and disgust all run through her. who was he ?? he had made her think she was important to him, that she was special, and not for all the reasons everyone else ever had. she had felt loved with him. her smirk is as smooth as usual, no matter how it feels like it is yanked across her face by wires. “of course,” looking at the men around her she shrugged her shoulder, before stepping forward. she knew, knew it in a way that refused to let her ignore it, that he wouldn’t shoot her. eyes ran playfully over the gun before she grasped the end of it and yanked. “although i don’t believe it’s very polite to point at gun at someone,” blue eyes locked with blue as she tilted her head not removing her hand from the gun. a dare, and a challenge that he face what he had done. “we’re all civilized, aren’t we?” her smile was a barring of teeth at him as the warriors stepped up behind her. 

she had hated that at first, had felt overwhelmed and smothered when warriors had surrounded her, but she had worked to make them trust her, to depend on her. they used her just as much as she used them, although they had no knowledge of it. she had found herself with the strongest clan on the ground, and although she still was disgusted by them sometimes, she could acknowledge not all of them were monsters. they had their uses after all. 

she can’t be found out.               NOT NOW. he needs to save her, from himself. if they realize that he knows her. they’re going to have a huge problem, and it won’t just be him at the end of the blade. he has to at least do this right by her. he should at least ensure that she has the ability to SURVIVE IN THIS ROLE ( whatever it is that this role has become ). she’d made it, he was proud of her. he’d failed her and she’d still SURVIVED.                         he wasn’t about to ruin this for her. which meant that as much as it made him break even more on the inside, it also meant his resolve was sound. he had to treat her like any other member of azgeda. just so she could LIVE. they didn’t have room for error. 

still she was going a little far. the grabbing of the gun made him PHYSICALLY uncomfortable, and she was close enough now, he wasn’t going to be able to hide the smell on his breath. so he’d just settle to glare at her. pulling the gun back a little towards him and raising the barrel to her face. JAMES CAN PLAN DIRTY. there’s no safety on, and he hopes to god that they don’t have to worry about he just doesn't want her to tug too hard, and for his finger to pull the trigger. “ and i don’t thin’ its v’ry polite t’skin people alive. ” he adds, eyes glancing to the men with her. 

[gcrydays]

                     i had a friend was a big baseball player                                                                  back in high school

[tempercd]

                   don’t get too close / it’s dark inside

                                  independent & selective oc characters from the 100

[mcthersguilt]

                                 REMEMBER :  YOU CAN’T SAVE EVERYONE.                                                     𝚒𝚗𝚍.    𝚜𝚎𝚕.    𝚋𝚢   𝚊𝚗𝚐𝚎𝚕𝚊.                        

[boydswan]

Brad Pitt in ‘Allied’  Official Trailer

[gcrydays]

VERITY

she’d been in the village for a month now, she’d adapted, she’d gotten used to not flinching every time they passed by, every time they looked at her. she’d worn her pride and her confidence like a mantle around her shoulders and she had blended. she’d needed to. now though.. now she was in polis, now she was faced with people who knew her, people that had abandoned her for dead. she hadn’t went back. hadn’t wanted to go back to people that had left her behind. she was angry, so angry at them, but most of all at him. he was supposed to be there ! he was supposed to protect her ! he was supposed to not forget her !! but he had. just like they all had. the ground had been nothing but cruel to her, and now it was playing it’s games yet again. looking into his blue eyes she shivered, pulling her furs tighter around her as tears fought to pool in her eyes. 

“yes.” her gaze is disdainful, her back straight even as she wants to run to him and fling herself at him, to cry into his shoulder and know, know that she is safe. but she can’t…. because he’d left her behind. “skaikru, obviously,” she spoke with an accent as her gaze took in his gun — disgusted looking as every other clansman around her.

her gaze is directed at him for another reason. the men with her ------ THEIR GAZES ARE TERRITORIAL. he’s seen it in the same gaze in the eyes of every member of skaikru that had skinned and murdered his family the last remaining people he’d cared about ---------------- well the last except HER. though fairly, he thought they’d done the same with her. but HER yes. her tone and the look in the young girl’s eyes, they’re different. and he understands it ------ he understands it as if he weren’t already living it every day. its the worst part of him that he sees reflected back at him in her gaze. except that the worst part of thim was every part of him. and they both knew that. she’d finally seen that in him. and somehow. that felt worse. than failing her already had. shaking his head he takes a step away. shaking his head. 

“ obviously. ” he responds, keeping his answers short to hide the alcohol. but also, to hide the tone in his voice. james t. wasn’t known for being good at hiding his emotions. but he couldn’t hide under a raised gun with her. and yet he finds himself raising it, she’s playing azgeda. he needs to play along, “ we going to be good  here ? ”

[gcrydays]

jim lost his son in the battle against grounders in s1. and his wife in the culling ( also s1 ). and his coworkers in the fight against azgeda when farmstation crashed there. his alcoholism was kept at bay thanks to pike, even though he still functioned it was pretty bad. after pike was killed jim lost his footing, and hasn’t been able to recover. however being one of the few remaining boatnists he was counted as one of the hundred on the list. 

[gcrydays]

@tempercd ! 

he knows that he could have done better. the minute that he sees her standing there with the fur around her shoulders. HE KNOWS HE SHOULD HAVE DONE BETTER BY HER. jaw clenches, fingers grip the gun a little tighter, and he tries not to blink, if he does he’s worried that his eyes will start to water. he’d lost his son. he thought she’d lost her too. and he’d given up. the alcohol helped numb the fact he’d failed the last person he thought he could save. he’d stayed LOOKING FOR HER LONGER THAN THE REST OF THEM. but maybe that one week, that one month could have helped him find her. just one more day and maybe he could have found her... SAVED HER FROM THIS ? whatever this is.                      maybe he shouldn’t have had that bottle he’d found before going out today. “ AZGEDA right ? ”

[gcrydays]

hi ? im around. only thanks to @tempercd