Gerbil King's Kingdom of Collected Thoughts

Terrible things lie here

[geekpellets]

The Transfiguration

I’m surprised by how endeared I was to the major characters in this film considering how dry, depressed, and robotic most of their dialogue is. It’s one of those types of indie films where they want the audience to feel melancholic, so expressiveness has to be sacrificed. Separately, on their own merits, I don’t think I would care about any of these characters, but I like their relationships and the growth of these relationships, and what would know? The transforming power of relationships is what the movie is about. For me personally, the main character’s brother, Lewis, is the character that stood out. Mostly, I didn’t expect anything of him, but as the movie continues he showed a surprising amount of brotherly love/protectiveness, and simply proved to be dealing with his own problems. They’re not as urgent as thinking you’re a vampire, but they aren’t minor. I don’t love the way the main character, Milo, spends so much time talking about horror movies. It feels like the writers trying to appeal to its core audience, which is fine, but it’s done in a way that smells desperate. I don’t love the super generic thugs that present themselves as the opposing force in this movie. Whether I liked the characters or not, everyone in this film puts forth a good performance. The pacing is fine. For a movie that is a slow paced character piece, it didn’t feel drawn out or like it was going on forever. What helps oil the gears here is the suspense that stems from the fact that Milo is a sick individual, and the movie never makes Milo come off as better than he is. His problems are never seen as a charming quirk. He’s a dangerous man, they don’t shy from it. They also don’t highlight it so much that your expectations for his actions are high. They show you what he does, and kind of leave you to decide how dangerous or redeemable he might be. So, when they introduce the character of Sophie who finds herself attracted to Milo despite/because of his sickness, you’re left to ponder how all this is going to pan out. That said, were there one too many moments of drawn out silence in the middle of conversations? Absolutely. Visually the movie doesn’t take many artistic liberties. It’s trying to depict realism, and filth. There is a whole scene in this movie where I couldn’t see a thing, though. It’s somewhat interesting because this is the only time a score is used in the movie. I enjoyed it because it gave me something to focus on in the blinding darkness, but given how much this film is shooting for realism, I think maybe it would have benefited from the consistency of not have the score. It comes off as a bit insecure for music to suddenly show up to strum up suspense after they specifically avoid such a thing through out the rest of the movie. The film isn’t particularly gory. There is blood. It’s good. There is one instance of the practical effects one might expect from a horror movie, which is not just surprising, but surprisingly well done. I think it has some flaws, but I think it also accomplished its goals. When it is all said and done, it made me go back and think about the title of this movie, its meaning, and whether or not it was accomplished here. I think the characters and relationships in this movie were worth contemplating after the movie was over. It’s not a movie I can suggest because it’s not a movie that’s going to be for everyone, I don’t think it is a must see movie either, but for people that like the slow paced character-based movies out there and might be interested in one with a horror slant, this one is worth watching.

[geekpellets]

Killer Cliques

Monster Squad I found the characters in monster squad to be mixed. The humans are all great. The children are likeable assholes, as I typically find rings true to most children, but the adults in this world get a decent bit of development as well. The relationship between the members of the titular Monster Squad is fantastic. Even the characters that join the squad last minute end up having a displaying a wonderful dynamic with the rest of the crew. When we see the main protagonist, Sean, interact with his family it also rings true. I think his relationship with his father in particular to be excellent, and his relationship with his sister pretty much mimicked my relationship with my sister. The monsters, however, prove to be disappointing. There are five monsters in this film, two of them a snarling goons with no perceived personalities or personal wants. None of the monsters have an interesting relationship with each other, even though the movie seems to think they do. A lot of this film hinges on its Dracula, and I did not like this Dracula. He did not seem charming, persuasive, or particularly dangerous. I’m not asking for complexity here, I simply wish that this Dracula had a real presence. There is one scene where he does seem like a genuine threat, but it felt unearned. This is a short movie, at about an hour and twenty minutes. I think the first and last 25 minutes mostly good. I didn’t really care for the middle segment. There’s a lot of exposition, there’s a lot of forced narration (via this dry uninteresting Dracula no less), there was a montage that I’m not sure was entirely necessary (if they simply said what happen, “I made these stakes in shop class” it probably would have made for a smoother less immersion breaking experience for me). I feel like the middle of this movie could have been tighter and more cohesive, and be made to feel important in a way that was less dry. This film wants you to feel certain emotions at certain times, but it hasn’t earned them. For the most part, the score is carrying all the responsibility. Part of this is because most of the monsters come off as so non-threatening, and since they aren’t particularly threatening, and they decided not to fill the void with character or character relationships, moments of suspense or excitement come off as kind of bland. There’s this relationship between Dracula and Frankenstein that’s not explained very well, and no time is spent on developing it, but if they had the movie would have benefited from doing so significantly. Honestly, the same can be said for most of Frankenstein’s relationships. They want to nail emotional beats around this character, but they don’t build the relationships around him well imo. The movie does have a great mood about it. It does primarily focus on its strength, which is the cast of kids and their friendship and dialogue. The film is charming and humorous from beginning to end. I’m mixed that a plot point with Sean’s dad is never resolved. The practical effects in this movie are top notch for its time, excellent stuff. I wasn’t expecting a werewolf transformation sequence, and they gave us a pretty good one. The quality of the blood is good by late 80′s early 90′s standards. It’s basic. There’s no oxidation or color variety. The make-up is great. There is a minor use of CG effects that aren’t great but were good for the time. I missed this movie in my childhood, and I entered the film wanting to love it. I came out only liking it. I don’t think this is a must own or must watch film, I don’t see myself going out of my way to watch it again, but it’s great horror film for children assuming you don’t mind if your kid picks up a couple of curse words along the way. Heathers The characters in the Heathers are great. A lot of this movie presents examples of how certain events change people, so all throughout the movie are opportunities for these characters to develop and evolve and express themselves in interesting and surprising ways. We see a lot of characters grow in this movie, we see a lot of character relationships grow in this movie, and not always for the better. Every actor here puts in a fine performance, especially its stars. Winona Ryder personifies her characters and character arc perfectly. Christian Slater is awesome. He steals every scene he’s in because he’s the devil. He’s Dracula. He’s this charming, manipulative, sexy, exciting figure of pure evil. They never had to explain why, even though the movie does multiple times before actually coming out and explaining it, but I do appreciate the little nods to how he became the person he is. This movies greatest accomplishment is how naturally and masterfully is changes tones. It is a dark teen comedy at first, then it just gets dark, and finally it becomes a legitimately suspenseful horror film. I’ve seen a couple of films that attempt to achieve a similar sort of transition from one genre to one or two others, and a lot of them fail. Even the ones that succeed rarely do it as well as this film does. It’s not easy. It nails every tone. It nails every emotion. It’s legitimately funny when it wants to be funny. It’s legitimately sad when it wants to be sad. It’s legitimately heartwarming when it wants to be heartwarming. It hits every note out of the park. The pacing is near perfect. The atmosphere is generally bright and sunny, but near the end as the movie gets darker so do the scenes themselves. Before that, the mood really does become quite glum, even while the scenes themselves are sunny. There’s not a great deal of blood or Savini/Nicotero style practical effects in this movie. I don’t even remember any despite the decent body count. I think this was intentional to keep things from becoming too real, from being too much of a downer. There are some excellent make-up effects. For me, there really aren’t many flaws to this movie, and the flaws I can find are minuscule at best. What really put it over the edge from being very good to being exceptional is the ending. I think the ending was perfect for this story, and for me this film wasn’t that far from exceptional anyway. Sometimes you just need that one more thing, and they gave it to me. 

[geekpellets]

Dial Code Santa Claus aka Deadly Games

This is a film about a genius kid who is stalked by a mad Santa in Tim Burton’s dream home. This film revolves around three characters. The first is the killer Santa Claus, who is portrayed effectively mad. He’s not a killer in so much that his primary goal isn’t to harm people, but he is unhinged in a fascinatingly child like way. The second is the grandfather. He’s very charming, very likeable, he clearly loves his grandson, and they have him struggle with his own fragility in a very subtle way. It’s nice how they handled that, but at the same time had him quickly realize that his grandson is the better candidate to do the things required to escape the mad Santa. He reminded me very much of Grandpa Joe from Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory (1971, of course). The last character is the protagonist, Thomas. Thomas is the heart of this film, and holy shit does Alain Lalanne put in an unexpectedly harrowing performance as this kid. When the film starts, you have this kid who is a genius and has a fascination with the military and Rambo, so you might think that he’s going to be a Kevin McCallister, an unstoppable force against this big disgruntled Santa Claus. That’s not the case. One of the things this film is good at is saying, “Yes, this kid is incredibly smart and he knows things that kids wouldn’t/shouldn’t know, but he’s still just a kid.” There are a few other characters: a mother, her boyfriend, and a best friend. They all put in a good performance for the time that they’re onscreen. This is important, this film is not realistic. You might be saying, “It’s about a kid genius battling a killer Santa, of course it’s not realistic.” And you’re right, but there may be those among you that will be turned off by how unrealistic facets of this movie is. This film’s realism is on par with A Series of Unfortunate Events (books, show, or movie). There are elements of the fantastic that you just have to roll with, and if you can’t you’re not going to enjoy this film. A lot of this film is grounded as well, and so you have a swirl of sorts between these elements. I think they worked very well together. I can see someone else thinking they clash with each other. For me, however, the allegory and visual metaphor of the film bind the grounded elements and the more imaginative elements together in a natural way. This is like a dark bedtime story. The grounded elements all stem from the strong characters, and again, a lot of this is on a child actor who knocks it out of the park. This is often considered a horror movie, although it lacks the gore, the body count, and the mystery of a typical horror movie. Imo, it leans more towards suspense, but most importantly, it’s a coming of age film. What we’re watching in this movie is the death of innocence, and it is painful to watch. They are drop kicking this innocence into a pool of swollen foot mongrels waiting to stomp on its broken still breathing body. The pacing is excellent. I don’t need a lot of the scenes with the mother, but I recognize that some people do. Some people need to see that she is concerned and trying to help her son the best she can given her circumstances. The film succeeds at being quite moody. There’s a LOT of blue tones in the film. A lot of grays. I appreciate that the film is visually dark, but not visually black. More and more I’ve begun to resent pitch black scenes where I can’t see what’s going on and that’s supposed to make things more suspenseful. There are some creative visuals in this film. The grandfather is “half-blind” so there are times we see things from his perspective. It’s gimmicky, but it isn’t used often and I like it. The opening scene is very creative. It successfully depicts a view of things from a kid’s imagination and quickly juxtaposes that with the reality of the situation. There’s a scene with a toy train that’s shot pretty dynamically, and I love everything about it. The move does succeed at being suspenseful. Even though there aren’t a trail of bodies it does feel like the stakes are high, and the stakes ARE high, just not in the same way they are in a slasher movie because this film doesn’t hit you over the head with all the things that can go wrong and are going wrong. I think this is a great film, and I am giving it extra “points” because it’s creative and ballsy. It takes balls to combine realism and fantasy the way they did. It takes balls to make a movie starring a child (a movie given it’s chaste bloodless nature could easily be mistaken for a rated PG children’s film) this dark. I grew up watching Friday the 13th. I would rather my kid (if I had a kid) watch Friday the 13th than this film. If you think you can buy the things this movie wants you to buy, I think it’s a must see film.

[geekpellets]

Shocker

Shocker is about a devil worshiping killer who turn into electricity and jumps from body to body I like most of the main characters in this movie. The protagonist, Jonathan Parker, is surprisingly multi-dimensional. He’s a jock, he has a few “jock” tendencies, but he’s also funny, dweeby, sad, vengeful, and fearful. His father is the town sheriff, who comes off a stern and stubborn but also shows a good deal of depth. The killer is pure evil, but in a charismatic way. He reminded me of The Collector from Tales from the Crypt: Demon Knight, although he isn’t THAT charismatic. Still, it’s clear that actor Mitch Pileggi is having a ball playing him.There is a character I don’t like,Parker’s girlfriend Alison. The movie did such a good job showing and not telling, but when Alison is introduced she has to explain who she is and her relationship to the protagonist in unrealistic detail. Furthermore, she has no depth. She’s pure, virginal, she’s practically a saint, and there is absolutely nothing else to her. I’m going to come back to her way later, so hold that thought. Even though I don’t care for the character, the Camille Cooper does a good job. It’s not the actress. Everyone here puts in a good performance. It’s really the performances that made me enjoy the movie as much as I did, because they succeeded and making the events of the film feel personal between the protagonist and antagonist. It feels like there’s real tension and hatred between these two characters, and that electrifies the scenes in this movie. I was really enjoying this movie at first. REALLY enjoying. I was ready to say that Shocker is better than the vast majority of Nightmare on Elm Street movies. Unfortunately, this film is hindered by a pacing problem. It’s a long movie, with multiple climactic scenes. It does get to the point where it’s jumping from one would be climax to the next, making the movie feel meandering. So many times I thought, “Wow, that would have been a great place to end this movie...but it’s still going...” Now, the ACTUAL climax, is amazing. It’s truly a spectacle to behold. I just wish the “getting there” was smoother and more efficient. There were definitely periods of time where I was taken out of the movie just because of the length and the psychology of having seen a climatic scene thus expecting things to come to a conclusion. This movie has rules. They don’t make a lick of sense. If you’re trying to follow them, give up. It’s also tonally inconsistent. The first thirty minutes depicts a legitimate horror film, then it becomes a supernatural thriller, and finally it becomes an dark absurdist comedy. I like all these things, and it does make sense plot wise to transition from one genre to another, but three is too many. If the film depicted itself as an absurdist comedy from the start, I wouldn’t have minded Alison’s character being so one dimensional. I get the she’s the opposite of the villain, and they’re both super one dimensional, but it’s easier to except a one dimension murderer in a horror film than a one dimensional protagonist. So, if the film didn’t depict itself as a serious horror movie at the start, and it didn’t depict most of these character so realistically, I wouldn’t have had a problem with her. If the beginning had the same crazy tone as the ending, we’d be gravy. Alas, that is not the case. The film does set its mood most successfully at the start. Afterwards, mood, atmosphere, all that stuff fades away as the film becomes a thriller. Just some stray thoughts. I feel like Shocker was Wes Craven’s attempt to recreate the success of Nightmare on Elm Street. Two bald villains, charismatic one dimension killers with supernatural powers. One was born of fire, the other born of electricity. Dream and dream logic play a big big role in both movies. At the point this movie was made, the heroes of a Nightmare on Elm Street were exhibiting supernatural abilities of their own. The protagonist of Shocker also exhibits supernatural abilities. It almost feels like Wes Craven was creating a universe. I almost wish there was a third killer bald guy that had wind or ice powers or something. I know, it’s beginning to sound a bit like a superhero thing, but that’s not entirely out of pocket. I remember when a hero and a villain can both have powers and not be a superhero movie. Then Chronicle came along, and I watched as that movie’s label went from Sci-Fi Drama to Superhero, and things were never the same again. Today, I wouldn’t be surprised if anyone considered Shocker or The Dream Warriors to be superhero films. That doesn’t mean I’d necessarily agree, I just wouldn’t be surprised. The practical effects are very good. There are some gruesome scenes at the start. These scenes do fade away as the movie switches from horror to thriller. The blood varies but for it is competent for the most part. The digital effects are going to be difficult for some people to accept. 80′s horror movies are my things, 80′s effects like this are nothing new to me, I accept it for what it is. Trust me, the effects look bad now, but they were good at the time. I had a lot of fun with Shocker. Unfortunately the fun I had with it proved to be inconsistent, and as the film goes on the inconsistencies get worse, and the film goes on and on and on. This is not a must own movie or a must watch movie by any means. BUT, if you have the time and opportunity to sink an hour and forty-nine minutes into it, I do suggest watching it. The actual climax of the film is totally worth it.

[geekpellets]

Tetsuo: The Iron Man

This movie is about a guy who, for reasons only vaguely hinted at, can biologically mesh with metal, and his arch enemy, some guy who accidentally ran him over. The characters in this film are...something. There’s not THAT much dialogue in this film, and the dialogue is usually kept very simple. None of the characters are particularly complex, but we don’t really get a chance to know them. They are particularly well acted. It’s actually super interesting how talented these individuals are, considering the grass roots nature of this film. The acting done with their eyes and bodies are fantastic. I can’t compliment it enough.The physical acting is great, the verbal acting is good, but there isn’t much in the way of meaty dialogue to let that aspect of the performance really shine. This is a very small tight cast and there isn’t a bad performance among them. This is a short film. It is only slightly longer than an hour. However, I was feeling it at the 43 minute mark. At this point, the I had grown accustomed to the insanity, and there’s just a lot of lingering “guy/guys/monster roaming the streets in fast motion” scenes that would have made for a tighter experience if shortened. The film’s strength is its direction. It is patient, meticulous, and Shin'ya Tsukamoto is very talented when it comes to squeezing every ounce of unnerving tension out of a scene. Somehow the film maintains its filthy rusty industrial ambience even in ordinary places. It’s his directing that really takes this to a higher place than other weird/gross out Japanese films like Tokyo Gore Police. Everything comes off as purposeful, and everything reeks of effort. I think being filmed in black and white benefits the film and its effects. The stop motion is good, and the use of sound is very good too. The practical effects aren’t always impressive, but they are more often than not. Even the effects that aren’t impressive in their execution are quite impressive in their design. All of it is good when you consider, again, this is such an independent movie. The blood is noticeably watery, but since the film is black and white, and main character is mutating into a cyborg, you can convince yourself it is oil. Despite the watery blood, there are some scenes in here that are simply gruesome to behold. Interesting scenes, interesting cuts, interesting direction, interesting effects, interesting performances, it’s not difficult to see how this movie became a cult classic. It’s not a movie one forgets. Once you’ve seen it, it’s in your brain bank. You might never think of it again, but it’s there, waiting for someone to mention the right thing to make it all come flooding back. It’s kind of extreme, so it is definitely not a film that I can suggest to anybody. If J-Horror is your thing, this is a must watch. If horror is your thing, it’s still a must watch. It’s only like 64 minutes. You can find the time to be transported to this industrial hell and maybe be scared forever. If you just want to see some weird shit, it’s a must watch film. If you’re looking for anything else, maybe this is isn’t the film for you.

[geekpellets]

Black Christmas

Black Christmas is about a sorority who’s members are threatened by a madman. The characters in this film are quite good. I’m just going to get this sentence out right now, Black Christmas does a LOT of things better than the slasher films it inspired. Presenting us with proper characters is one of those things. They don’t all get development or a time to shine, but they all come off as quite human, and the ones that do get to shine really do shine. Among these are Margot “Lois Lane” Kidder as Barb and Marian Waldman as Mrs. Mac. I think every performance in this film is good, but these two stand out because they’re very funny. That’s not something I was expecting. In general most of the dialogue is very good, although there are small segments of unusual repetition. I also have to mention Nick Mancuso, who voiced our killer and did an amazing job doing it. The first thing that struck me about this movie from the very beginning is the sound. The sounds in this movie is great, they are crisp and used so intentionally. Naturally, the film also uses silence incredibly well. These two things alone immediately create suspense, before anything happens at all. It is one of the movie’s greatest strengths. The film is often quite dark visually, and it manages to build an almost claustrophobic atmosphere in a two story house. I want to go back a second and mention the comedy again. I was surprised that this movie was as funny as it was, and had genuine moments of slapstick. This is my first time watching this movie, but I’ve read about it plenty of times, and it’s not something that is really praised or talked about. I got a number of good laughs in. I don’t think every horror movie needs comedy, but I do think it is an incredibly beneficial device. One can only remain at a heightened level of suspense before it becomes ineffective. There’s a threshold, there’s a point of diminishing returns. Comedy allows the audience to relieve that suspense, and it gives the movie a clean slate to work with as far as building it back up again. This movie does this exact thing perfectly. Of course, as always, comedy is subjective, and that’s the risk of incorporating comedy.  I think the pacing could have been adjusted a little. Even cutting another 3-5 minutes would have gone a long way to smoothing things out. This movies does suspense and “slasher” stuff perfectly, and it’s comedy is great, but when it got to the investigation of what was happening it did get a little droll for me. It’s a bit of a shame because I like the lead investigator, and I like the police force, it was just focused on a little too much for me. The movie brings things back around nicely, and the investigative stuff wasn’t outright boring or meaningless. For me, it just messed up the flow of things a bit. People call this movie a slasher film, I wouldn’t blame anyone for it, but I personally wouldn’t. This movie isn’t about the kills, there is very VERY little gore in this movie. It’s really before all that. It’s like The Shadow isn’t a superhero, he’s a pulp hero, but pulp heroes evolved into superheroes so he can be seen as a superhero. I don’t even know why I’m righting this, except to say, if you’re expecting something in line with Friday the 13th, don’t. As far as quality this movie is superior, and some dialogue aside, it is more tasteful than that. Yes, vulgar dialogue is more tasteful than the one two punch of sex and gore. Speaking of vulgar dialogue, the film is quite feminist, and not in the way horror movies are labelled feminist just because there’s a final girl. These women are really free to be themselves, and chase their dreams, and get drunk, and say vile shit, and fuck with people. It’s great. Simultaneously, many of the men by comparison are stuck up, crazy, or trying to control these free spirited women in one way or another. There’s a blood in this film. It isn’t good, but it is pretty much on par with all the other blood in 1974. There isn’t a lot of the pink red stuff, though. This movie really is more about the suspense, atmosphere, and mystery of the whole situation. There is one scene with genuine gore, and blood aside it looks great. I do want to talk about the mystery, in so much that the decision to approach the mystery of the killer the way they did is wonderful. Absolutely wonderful. I think this is a must see film, period. I think it is a must own for any horror fan, and is now among my personal favorite horror movies of all time. Now that I’ve finally seen this classic, I’ll have to prepare myself for disappointment and watch the two remakes. Oh boy.

[geekpellets]

Nekrotronic

Nekrotronic is about a man who literally cleans shit for a living who finds out he comes from a long line of necromancers who battle demons that use technology to posses people. It’s always bad when the first thing I have to talk about is the worst thing in the movie, and the first thing I ALWAYS talk about are the characters. These characters are SO one note and SO bland that they alone made this movie boring. This movie has a lot going for it, a lot, unfortunately being on that ride with these characters resulted in a movie that didn’t do its concept or visuals justice. Given that the characters are so bland, and the heroes journey could not be more predictable, these actors didn’t have anything to work with. The dialogue flip flops between action cliches and plain mediocrity. They are decent actors though, that much manages to come through. Horror can subvert this, because the horror is often intended to affect the viewer as much as the characters, we are in a way a character when we watch a horror movie. This is not a horror movie, here we are just spectators to the awesome adventures of some poor characters. The movie is actually well paced. There SO much action going on, it rarely slows down, so I’m amazed at how it ended up so dull. It executes its concept well. The longer the movie goes on, the more it begins to take on its own style, and it executes that style near flawlessly. That said, the film isn’t particularly atmospheric. The comedy often breaks up or prevents any moments of genuine suspense or emotion. The comedy itself is ok. It’s not the worse comedy, but it’s the kind of thing that’s hard to sell a movie around. An0 action scene or two are too dark, to the point where they might as well not be action scenes cause I don’t know what the hell is going on. I do think it’s a minor problem compared to how much they get right. And what they get right are the visual effects. This is a combination of practical and CG. Some CG looks iffy, but I’m absolutely sold on the idea that these very particular examples of CG are a stylistic choice, and I think they work well. There is some CG blood, and the action is hard and fast enough that I didn’t even mind it. As far as CG blood is concerned, there’s waaay worse. There are other examples of CG that are really great. I was surprised because this is a little indie film and it has CG of this quality. The practical effects are fantastic. There are some really great examples of practical effects here, and they really did an excellent job choosing when to use CG and when to go practical. The practical blood is good too. On paper, this movie is made for me. In reality, kids will love if you let your kids watch rated R movies. They wouldn’t mind the overdone character types and arcs. They might enjoy the low brow nature of the comedy. Me, I can’t fully endorse it. So much action, so many great visuals, and I was still bored. HOW SWAY!? Skip it.

[geekpellets]

Endzeit

Endzeit means ever after. Enzeit. Enzyte. Every After. Happy Endings. Smiling Bob, you galaxy brained so and so! Tis a tale a two cities, one city that has survived the zombie apocalypse by killing everyone they think has even a remote chance of turning into a zombie, and the other which is searching for a cure. The story follows two young women as they attempt to make it from the more oppressive city to the other. There’s two, maybe three characters in this film that are worth talking about. The protagonists are ok. This movie is paced like a character piece, but for me the growth of the characters aren’t convincing. The “badass” character is a jerk, until suddenly she isn’t. The protagonist is scared and meek, and has a mental illness (or does she? They spend a good bit talking about it and then it is kind of tossed away, unless she has superpowers. If it’s the latter it is both unexplained and unrecognized. At the end of the day, either of these two options slightly hinder the movie). Her evolution is convincing enough while watching it, but when I think about it retrospectively it too seems a little unconvincing. That said, Gro Swantje Kohlhof puts in a fine performance as Vivi (our protagonist). Maja Lehrer‘s performance as her salty companion isn’t bad, it’s simply too one note for her to really bring to life. The movie is paced fine. This is one of those “it’s not the destination, it’s the journey” type movies. I’ve seen a number of movies where two or more people solemnly travel from one place to another, and this is probably among the better of those kinds of films. It’s not a favorite subgenre of mine. The movie looks great. It has awesome sets, and they film the outdoors with in such a way that it does look like a fairy tale of sorts. The individuals behind this movie are artistic, that’s obvious. I do think they push it a little too far, to the point where some of the movie feels like art over substance. There are small scenes and shots that did make me question, “why was this necessary.” And it seems as if the answer is not because the story demanded it, but because look how artsy and avant garde we can be. It’s really the films BIG strength. It’s also a minor weakness at times. The big weakness, is that the film clearly doesn’t have a high opinion of its audiences intelligence. Remember when I said maybe three characters in this film is worth talking about? Well, the third character is a mysterious woman who appears simply to explain the moral. There is a chunk of the movie that’s in here just to explain the point, and I do believe that it is the failing of the writers that they did not do so in a way that is more subtle and entertaining, and had more respect for the audience’s intelligence. This is a zombie fantasy fairy tale. Fairy tales can get away with a lot, which is one of the reasons I personally love them. You never need to explain the godmother. However, while Fairy Tales more often than not have morals, the characters don’t stop in the middle of the story to explain it. The narrator might explain it, but Snow White isn’t explaining a goddamn thing, and neither are the dwarves, and that’s the way that works best. The film makes use of practical effects. Its zombies look unique, but you rarely get a good look at them. I do commend them on the way they used their budget and made the zombies that needed to look good look good, and kept the zombies that didn’t need to look good in the back or in the shadows. Nothing outrages or spectacular, but the effects work and fits with the tone and genre of the film. There aren’t a lot of effects, or zombies for that matter, because this is intended to be more about the two women traveling together. What little blood we do see in the film looks good, too. At the end of the day, this feels like a bit of a patchwork film. It’s a little scattered, too many ideas and styles and they aren’t all stitched together as well as they ought to be. I did enjoy it enough while I was watching it, but admittedly, while I typed this I found that I think a little less of it now than I did then. It’s not worth searching for, it is not a must watch or must own movie. In fact, I’d say it’s pretty skippable.

[geekpellets]

Re-Animator 2

...I really didn’t want to, but I got some mediocre news and knew only horror could bring me back up to par. Thus, Bride of Re-Animator Herbert West comes back from hiding out in the military to create new life instead of simply restoring it. A lot of the characters in this film are undeveloped and lame. From the very beginning this movie lets you know that it is delving into something utterly ridiculous, but I guess it doesn’t let most of the actors know because their performance are very dry through most of the film. Jeffrey Combs picks up the character of Herbert West as if he had never left it, and actor David Gale does the same, matching him in intensity and madness. Unfortunately, David Gale’s Dr. Hill doesn’t show up very often and Jeffrey Combs can’t carry the film by himself. The film is a little too long for what’s happening imo. I don’t think it needed to be an hour and thirty-six minutes long and I can think of a number of things that could potentially be cut. The director here knows that long stretches of the film are dry and attempts to break the monotony with minor thrills, but they are just that, minor. They don’t last long, and they rarely have any real impact. The last 25 minutes of this movie is incredible though. Everyone is finally on the same page as far as the acting is concerned. The atmosphere is thicker, the mood is better, it really flaunts the films gothic style. There are even examples of imagery in the film that I think are brilliant. It became suspenseful somehow, despite me not rooting for anyone in this movie at any time. Dr. West is a terrible person with a monstrous ego, but there’s simply something exciting about watching him deal with the even bigger crazier villains of his own creation. The film has one of those endings where it just kind of stops. I don’t mind it, but some people will. I am a big fan of Screaming Mad George. I think in the 80′s and early 90′s his visual effects put Tom Savini’s to shame. I really do. In Bride of Re-animator, we see some of his worse work. Things that literally look like plastic toys. There are good effects, too, and there are amazing effects. You get a nice even balance of the good, the bad, and the absolutely awesome. No CG, but there is some nice stop motion. The blood is pretty good. It’s not rare to see blood, but it is rare to see people bleeding, and none of the blood in the movie suggests oxidation. The movie is flawed. The original was flawed too, but I think it was better. While Herbert West can’t carry a film alone, Herbert West and Doctor Hill can carry a film together. There was a lot more of that relationship and dynamic in the first film that really made the film more fun to watch than this one overall. It’s not a must own film. It’s not a must see film, but if you like the first one, you have to watch this one. Everything you like about the first film is here, possibly better than ever, you just have a more painful wait before getting to it.

[geekpellets]

Post-Halloween, Part Final.

Nightmare Cinema This is an anthology where people go into a movie theater and watch short films based on their life or what is about to happen in their life. I was going to save this film for Halloween next year, but I’m glad I didn’t, cause it’s not great. 1. The Thing in the Woods The acting here isn’t great, and the dialogue is bad. The characters are bland and mostly uninteresting. Most of this is intentional. You see, this is a cheeky comedic tribute to slasher movies and their troupes. That doesn’t give this short a free pass, however, because we live in a world where tribute to slasher troupes and comedic takes on slasher movies can be/ have been legitimately good. This is not one of those cases. However, it did succeed in making me laugh twice. It also has a stupid but very unexpected and entertaining plot twist. I call it stupid because it is stupid (intentionally), not because I don’t like it. It saved this short for me. It has good practical effects, not great, but they get the job done. There are also CG effects, which are also not great, but again, they get the job done. I honestly ended up enjoying this short more than I thought I would, and it gave me high hopes for the rest of this movie. It shouldn’t have. 2.  Mirare This one has a basic premise. By the time the premise is revealed you know everything that’s about to happen. This film does have the superior practical/make-up effects, which are nice. The acting is a little better here than the first short, and the dialogue is about the same. I did find this short to be a bit suspenseful. It made a clinic seem otherworldly and interesting. It’s not bad, but a bit too unoriginal. 3. Mashit This short has good adult actors, but uneven child actors. It has a great look. It has the best effect in the whole film, but it is very rarely used. This one moves at a pretty slow pace, which would be fine if it wasn’t building to an action oriented climax with poor and unexciting choreography. There was a lot of potential here, but it ended up being pretty dull. Also, while the quality of the blood isn’t great in any of the shorts in this film, this short’s blood is the most noticeably unrealistic. 4. This Way to Egress This one is the best short in the whole movie by far. While it too is hindered by some uneven child acting, most of the film is focused on a single character. This character is portrayed by Elizabeth Ann Reaser, and she does a very good job. This one is black and white, and it is also super grimy looking. Imagine being in a porta potty after it tipped over. Now imagine a whole building like that. Nashty. The best acting, the best premise, the best twist, and some interesting practical effects that reminded me of Cronenberg’s Naked Lunch. It reminded me of another movie too, but I fear if I mentioned it the whole thing would be given away. 5. Dead This short suffers from uneven acting and dialogue. The blood is ok. There’s a little CG blood but it’s so insignificant it is barely worth mentioning. This short is basically an episode of Are You Afraid of the Dark. I don’t mean the reboot, either. I mean the old stuff. It is an episode of Are You Afraid of the Dark with cursing and blood. If that sounds awesome to you, it might be awesome to you. Just remember how corny a lot of those episodes and performances were, cause that’s here too. Even the music in this short sounds like Are You Afraid of the Dark. Imo, some of the background characters in this short are written like idiots for plot convenience. This is far from the first short in the film where characters were written like idiots because they were idiots. The climax has some truly cheesy terrible effects. There were definitely ways to accomplish that same thing better without using trash effects or any effects at all. There’s a wraparound with Mickey Rourke as the projection, but it’s not worth anyone’s attention. The whole thing ends up being an hour and fifty-four minutes long by the time it cuts to the credits. Is it worth sitting through? Not alone, no. If you just want to turn off the lights and watch some horror alone and your room, skip this one. It’s pretty mediocre and not worth your time. You might want to invest 6 dollars on amazon and rewatch Masters of Horror instead. If you’re watching this with friends and alcohol, however, this might be worth seeing. There’s plenty of fuel for your MSTK3 inspired fire here.

[geekpellets]

Post Halloween 2019, part 1

...I’ve got problems, people. Haunt

Haunt is about people that go into a Haunted house in Halloween (the one where people dress up in costumes), and start getting picked off one by one! The characters in this film are a bunch of non-characters. There relationships to each other are barely defined, and their personalities are mostly absent. What makes the main character different is that she has a background, a background hinted at all throughout the movie, but a background does not a character make. There was a character that surprised me. Early on it seemed like the character was going to be of a certain type, and instead the character ended up being the most resourceful. The performances are all good. It may seem like its easy to portray characters that are just screaming meat to the slaughter, but I’ve seen way too many horrible performances in horror movies believe that for a second. The film is an hour and thirty minutes long, and can stand to cut a bit. Remember that background I was telling you about? Well, that background doesn’t benefit the movie at all, but it references it a decent amount. All that can go. Also, the conclusion isn’t great. It’s something that’s been done in horror movies a lot recently, and while it was cool once, now it’s kind of cheesy. I think the events just before the conclusion really would have made for a more interesting ending. The movie is generally slower paced than one might expect of a film of this nature, and in my opinion that is actually to this films benefit. This film doesn’t linger on death or kills, the gore is shown for an instant and then we very quickly move on to the next thing. This film is about the suspense and the mystery. That’s what this movie does best, and I think it does it damn near flawlessly. To make me feel suspenseful about characters who don’t have personalities is quite the feat. Haunt accomplishes this with a combination of deliberate pacing, an perfectly set mood, a good use of mind games and suspicion, and like I said, there’s a mystery to it. I didn’t read a lot about this movie before I saw it, so I didn’t know if the place was actually haunted, if there was a killer, if there were multiple killers, or if there was a cult. We get answers, but they aren’t quite thorough and that’s for the best. The movie has some great set pieces, it executes some great ideas, and has some memorable moments. While the actual kills are not this films prerogative, the film does a good job at depicting both fight and flight. It’s far more interested in the threat of conflict or the conflict itself than the kill. The practical effects are good. The make-up effects are better. The blood looks great. There’s one scene that I believe is CG, but the CG is good. The scene is over with VERY quickly so the CG is almost a non-factor. I could give this movie a bump for crafting something that’s fun and suspenseful even though the characters and character relationships are as bland as they could possibly be. I could also take away that bump because it is evident that these people know exactly what they’re doing. You don’t make a film this competent if you are clueless or untalented. It’s clear they chose not to give a crap about the characters. That’s fine I guess, but can I get one? Can I get one character that’s decent? Give me that one next time, and we’re good. Watch this one if you can, it has some flaws, but it’s still quite good.

[geekpellets]

Halloween 2019, part 3

Hereditary Are the characters in Hereditary the most likeable? No, but they are very human, and very sympathetic. The mother/son duo offer the most complexity. The father is a good person, but the film doesn’t focus on him as much as the rest of the family. I’m ok with that. They all put in a good performance, but Toni Collette’s performance overshadows them all. As far as acting is concerned, she proves once again that she is next level. Of course, that Alex Wolff can act along/against her without being completely overshadowed is a compliment to his skills as an actor. What gives Toni Collette the opportunity to put in such an amazing performance in a horror film is the fact that the first half isn’t truly a horror film. It sews the seeds for the second half, but the first half is honestly a very very dark family drama/tragedy, and if that’s all this was, I would be satisfied. Arguably, that’s where the worst stuff was. Man, I’m grateful for all these shows and movies that make me think, “I thought my family was messed up.” This is a long movie, but it’s well paced. The first half is really good, and the second half is really good. The movie doesn’t leave you waiting for the last hour for crap to get real. It gets real at the start, then it gets worse, and it never gets better. It’s very much a situation where, we broke the camels back, now we’re breaking the ribs, severing the head, and eating the brains. The film has a unique visual style. Also, much of this movie takes place in the day. It doesn’t rely on darkness the way many other horror films do. It doesn’t need to. The overbearing and oppressive emotions these characters are forced to deal with and try to navigate is suspenseful enough. When it does use darkness and shadow, it’s for a reason. It’s not just because it’s night, and it’s not just to set a mood. The visuals are being played with, and I enjoy that. It’s not hiding what’s in the dark, but if you aren’t paying attention you might miss it. The whole film is like that. It’s not hiding what’s going on, but if your attention slips you might miss it. There were things that I missed that made me realize how dumb I am, and things that I caught that made me feel like a genius. The subtle hints spread throughout the entirety of the movie is evidence of how carefully this film was put together. The practical effects are SO good. The CG effects vary in their effectiveness. The more subtle ones are good. Some of the more eye catching ones are good, but feel out of place in a film this grounded. CG isn’t used very often. The blood is excellent. If I’m being honest, I thought Hereditary was being over hyped before I saw it. I thought it was going to be another Babadook where everyone is like, “You don’t know what’s true, and that’s why this is the greatest horror movie of all time.” Hyperbole on my part, of course, but you get the drift. Plus, I’m skeptical of most horror movies that come out in theater unless I know they were made before the studio/producers purchased them. Of course, at the time I didn’t know this was an A24 thing, which would have changed my thoughts, but this is becoming less about the movie and more about me. Hereditary is the real deal through and through, and being that it is a drama that transitions into a horror film, it’s easy to see how it gathered such a sizeable audience and attracted even those that turn their nose down at horror. It deserves every bit of praise it has garnered. Cemetery Man Cemetery Man is about...nothing really, but there’s a guy that works in a cemetery and kills the undead. Normally, I break down the characters, then the more technical aspects of the movie, then the effects. I don’t think I can do that here, this isn’t an ordinary movie. Cemetery Man’s characters have no depth and the barest of personalities, so there’s nothing to talk about there. Everyone gives a good performance, every performance is appropriately outlandish in its own way. The pacing? Terrible. Or good. It depends on what you expect, cause Cemetery Man has no story, no villains, no heroes, very little in character motivation, stuff just happens to this guy, and that’s it. How you feel about that is how you’re going to feel about the movie. For me, I need something to hold on to. I can roll with a movie like this, but I need at least one good character I want to follow, or the comedy has to be consistent for me, or the effects have to be awesome. I need that one thing, and this movie didn’t give it to me. It’s absurdist, and I consider myself a lover of the absurd, but this was too lowbrow, and there’s just nothing else there to turn to. There are some good set pieces. The world looks great and perfectly Gothic. There are some cool ideas scattered all throughout the film, but these ideas are broken into small bits and pieces and really don’t mean anything at all. I think I would have liked this waaaay better if it was a show, it does have an Adult Swim feel to it. It would fit right in with that block. The movie itself is easy to cut into chapters. An hour and forty minutes of this stuff straight was too much for me. The effects are alright. This film didn’t have a decent budget, but what they manage to accomplish in the practical effect/make-up department is pretty good. There’s nudity for both sexes. This is just another situation where I can’t say this is a bad movie. It is competently made, but it clearly isn’t for me. Maybe if I watch it again, now that I know what I’m getting into, I’ll like it better, but since the humor doesn’t hit for me I can’t see myself liking it THAT much better. I don’t think reviews matter for a movie like this. For better or for worse, this is really just something you have to see for yourself. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want to own a physical copy of this movie myself, just for the novelty of it.

[geekpellets]

Halloween 2019, part 2

The Blacksmith and the Devil This movie is about a Blacksmith that made a deal with the devil, but after the deal goes sour he captures it and becomes a shrew. Unfortunately, the outside world is about to intrude on his home. I think this movies biggest problem may very well be its characters. Every performance in this movie is money, but all the characters are falls into the category of “what you see is what you get.” There’s not a lot of depth here, and the relationships aren’t the most interesting. There are turns towards the end, but they aren’t surprising. The characters take the turns they have to for the story to continue, and not every turn is particularly convincing. The movie is a bit slow at the start, and given that none of the characters really benefit from the extra time, it could stand to shed a couple of minutes. Imo, there is at least one entire scene that could be removed, as it is ultimately a lesser version of something that just happened beforehand. The movie does a good job at visually building its world. This is a gray moody atmospheric world, juxtaposed by a surprising amount of comedy. Other than the visuals, the best of which is saved for the end, I found the comedy to be this movie’s strong point. This movie is reviewed and talked about in horror circles, in more general forums its considered to be a fantasy horror film, but I wouldn’t call it a horror film at all. It’s a fantasy first and foremost, and I’d argue it is a comedy second. The problem is, much of the comedy is spaced to far apart during the first half of the film. There’s not a lot of action or fantasy going on at the start of the film, there’s not a lot of comedy, and the characters aren’t great. The film can be a little droll, is what I’m saying. However, once those fantasy elements kick in the film gets better and better up until the very end. The practical effects in this movie are very good. The CG is also very good. This film takes things to a level I didn’t think it would, and the CG helps them accomplish that. Unfortunately, there is also CG blood. Why? Why does a movie with such awesome practical effects need CG blood? Ya killing me. This is a good movie. It could have been great. If the characters were a little more complex or their interactions a little more interesting, if the comedy was more consistently used throughout the film, or if this film didn’t take as long as it does to really get started, it could have resulted in something great. As it stands, I’d still suggest it if you’re a fan of fantasy, fairy tales, or Del Toro. The second half is well worth sitting through the mediocre first half. Tumbbad Tumbbad is about a man who kind of inherits a dark family secret in a cursed city. This secret results in riches upon riches, but at what cost? I like the characters in this movie. While most of them weren’t complex or gifted with an arc they were interesting, entertaining, or managed to appeal to my sympathy. I think even the most simple characters here fit well because more than any live action film I’ve seen in the last five years this a fairy tale through and through. All the actors perform their roles admirably, especially the children. I think the film is well paced. This film takes place during three distinct points in the protagonist’s life, and each point has its own small story arc and climax. The horror elements in this film are legit, but are used cautiously. The majority of the film is more about the protagonist’s rise to power than the terror that he occasionally faces, but watching how his need for wealth affects his family at all points of his life is entertaining on its own. The film rarely goes for a frightful mood or atmosphere. When it does, it is done very well. More than anything, however, the mood is an adventurous one. There are points where there’s music and dancing, and there are bright golden brown colors more often than dreary grays or blacks. The practical effects in this film are fantastic, unfortunately, there isn’t a lot of it. There are far more CG effects. These effects are noticeably CG, but I think they work very well. When the CG is used it is used in an environment that really benefits it. Usually I rate blood, it’s just my thing. I think if you care about your film, you care enough to use blood that’s at least somewhat convincing. It’s been a week since I saw this film so I don’t really remember what the blood was like, but I can say it clearly wasn’t bad enough to get my attention. At the end of the day, more than anything, this was just a fun adventure fairy tale. There are no characters particularly deep, not twist you don’t see coming, and no theme it isn’t wearing on its sleeve at the start. There are also no major flaws. I think it is a film that is ambitious in more subtle ways. It’s true to its roots, it is backed back a fascinating lore and general concept, and I think it succeeds in being unique and standing out from the crowd. I would say if one wasn’t opposed to watching foreign films (many are, no judgement) Tumbbad is definitely one to add to his or her list.

[geekpellets]

Halloween 2019 part 1

Lifechanger Lifechanger is about a doppleganger who has to switch bodies every so often in order to survive, killing everyone he swaps bodies with. That’s not the problem. The problem is, he’s in love. Oh oh! Wacky Shenanigans ensue (not really). There are a lot of characters in this film, but most of them only exist to be replaced with the doppelganger. The only two characters with any real impact are the doppelganger and the woman he loves. Now, the film does a good job at showing why someone would fall in love with this woman. Lora Burke does a perfect job of portraying someone who’s smart, sad, funny, and hopeful. The doppelganger is played by multiple actors. Most of them do a fine job with portraying the character consistently. I will say, I didn’t feel the thrill, terror, or suspense, when one actress depicted the doppelganger killing someone. I felt like she depicted it with a bit of unintentional comedy do to exaggeration, but otherwise she did a good job too. We’re in the head of the doppelganger the whole time, and it does prove to be an interesting position. Is the movie paced well? That’s a tough question. It’s a short movie, and I was never bored. I do think things could be cut, and the movie could be shorter, but at that point this wouldn’t be a feature length movie. If I’m being honest, this would make an amazing 20-30 minute short film. As a film that’s an hour and twenty-four minutes long, it is good, but it is repetitive. Once you go through the first cycle of the doppelganger swapping bodies, not much else changes in the film. I kind of wish he could stay in one body longer. Would it be less exciting? Yes, but it would also be less repetitive and more dramatic, and this film really wants to be a drama anyway. The movie does a good job at creating a melancholy mood, every when things are looking up. The killing isn’t really suspenseful. The suspense really lies in how this doppelganger is going to convince this girl he’s stalking to fall in love with him. It’s really an interesting concept, and it could have been a straight romance. It could have been a romantic comedy. This same feel under different direction could feel like entirely different genres, and that’s pretty fascinating in itself. The movie doesn’t rely on comedy often, but when it does show up I found it pretty effective. I’m surprised that such a dramatic reflective philosophical film as this had such good practical effects, and a solid commitment to practical effects. This isn’t a bloody film, but it certainly finds other visually lovely ways to disturb. Kudos to that. This was a good time waster. There’s a novelty to it, and if that novelty attracts you then it might actually be worth tracking down. Generally, however, it probably isn’t worth the extra effort. If you happen to stumble upon it on cable, on chiller, or any of the over saturated streaming services you might already subscribe to it’s worth a looksie. The Shape of Water The Shape of Water is about a mute woman who falls in love with a fish monster. The Shape of Water has great characters, imo. Good protagonists. Good side characters. Good antagonists. There’s no character I didn’t like, and no performance I didn’t like. Now, I WILL say that Octavia Spencer’s character being the stereotypical sassy black woman isn’t conceptually appealing to me. In general Hollywood’s milking of “sassy black” annoys me. That said, I did find the character funny and her relationship with the protagonist super endearing.  At least she’s a layered character. Michael Shannon’s character is a very typical Del Toro villain. He fits in with the villains of Pan’s Labrynth and the Devil’s Backbone if not in demeanor than in performance. Still, he’s probably the most complex Del Toro villain (although that’s not saying too much), and he is incredibly entertaining. This is a movie that’s two hours long with no big surprising or plot twists, and I don’t care at all. It was awesome. A lot of that is because these characters are so entertaining and likeable, and they have great interactions and relationships with each other. A lot of that is because this movie is a visual feast for the eyes. Visually, I think this is the high mark for someone who is already known for impressive visuals. Even though the movie takes place in an alternate history not that different from our own, it feels like fantasy. The atmosphere is so grandiose in the way that many of the old films this movie receives inspiration from make the every day seem grandiose. Simultaneously, the mood is often melancholy. The world is often depicted a gray, grimy, or worn down. There are moments where the mood is switched up to something joyful, but you don’t trust it because the world itself isn’t depicted as a joyful world. I think this movie succeeded in eliciting every emotion from me that is was trying to. It’s charming, it’s thrilling, it’s uplifting, it’s dark, and it surprised me at point despite this not being a particularly complex movie. There’s something to be said for doing something conceptually simple, and doing it this well. The practical effects are amazing, as one should probably expect from Del Toro at this point. However, the CG effects are also amazing. The way the CG is used to compliment the practical in this movie is perfection. I think this is one of the great examples of how practical and CG effects can support one another. There’s blood, it’s ace. There is also CG blood. It’s still recognizable as CG, but this may be the best CG blood I’ve ever seen. I’m a Del Toro stan. I will put that out there right now. I feel no shame for that. In my opinion, this is Del Toro’s best film. There’s still an argument to be made for Pan’s Labyrinth, there’s still an argument to be made for The Devil’s Backbone, but I truly believe he reached new heights with this one. 

[geekpellets]

Mehhhhhhhh

Pet Semetary 2019 First, spoilers. Second, I’m on record for saying that I dislike Pet Semetary. I watched this movie anyway, but I wasn’t expecting to enjoy it. I didn’t. The characters are ok, they’re just kind of bland. Victor is the biggest disappointment. He is rarely used (I know, but this is less than even before), rarely seen, and has far less dialogue. At the same time, while I wished there was more of him, the fact that he rarely shows up and only gives vague warnings does make the protagonist’s actions seem less stupid than in the original movie. The performances are excellent, except for Ellie. Imo, her performance is kind of uneven, but I do believe some of that may just the dialogue and content. Perhaps my problem is Ellie is such a stereotypical little girl, as if they asked what’s her personality and the producers said, “little girl,” that her acting seems like she’s aware she’s in a movie. Naturally, everyone is aware they’re in a movie, the point is to act like you aren’t. There’s something Disney Channel Original about her performance. When she flips to the dark side she commits, but her dialogue is so try-hard. Ellie ends up coming off as a worse version of Regan from The Exorcist. The pacing is ok. If anything, as uneventful as much of the movie is, it may be too fast. I know, for a movie that takes so long failing to build its characters over the majority of the movie, saying that there wasn’t enough of that stuff seems controversial. I have heard many times that Pet Semetary is about grief. Well, they skipped over a whole bunch of that here. Ellie gets hit by a truck and next thing you know, it’s time to take her to the Pet Semetary. I would have liked to see the father grieve more before making the decision because that’s the only way they’re gonna sell me on him making such a dumb decision. If grief is truly the heart of this story, then it being handled without the care necessary to make that heart beat is a big mistake. Amy Seimetz gets more time to show her grief before she meets the resurrected Ellie, and that made me sympathize for her character much more. Also, I really enjoyed that she is a depicted as a woman who is scared of death and yet even more scared of resurrection. The movie wants to be suspenseful. It wasn’t for me. Like I said, the characters were to bland for me to invest myself in through most of the movie. Also, this movie uses music to build up most of its suspense. This movie is SO dependent on its score that it was almost laughable. If this movie had a mantra it would be, “Oh, nothing’s happening? Well lets play something spooky so people think something’s happening!” This is particularly silly because I doubt there was anyone who didn’t know this film would be back-loaded. Everyone knows the spooky stuff isn’t happening until the end, so the attempt to make everyday actions and settings scary is even more sad. It does occasionally succeed at building a spooky mode, usually at the Pet Semetary or when Victor sort of but not really shows up. Was it necessary to use Green Screens/Blue Screens to do it though? I felt like the Pet Semetary could have been enough on its own. The use of the screens here felt inauthentic, which is the opposite effect you want to have. The movie has CG and practical effects. The CG is noticeable, but it’s fine I guess. There are worse examples of CG in horror movies, and they keep the use of it to a minimum. The practical effects look very good, but we see less of them than CG effects. Ellie is interesting. Her mortitian must have been a craftsman blessed by the gods. Seriously, that man needs a raise (FROM THE DEAD ok I’ll stop). For her to only appear to have a wonky eye after getting killed like that? Skill my friends. Skill or laziness. Speaking of, I found the wonky I to be unintentionally hilarious. I laughed quite a bit while staring at that little wonky face of hers. Very little of what I have said is positive, so I’ll say this, I like the ending. I like the ending waaaaay better than the previous movie. That’s suspenseful. This isn’t a bad movie per say. I think it’s trash but not “this movie is bad” trash. It function more like “this movie is a soulless cash in over managed by producers” trash, which generally results more in mediocrity than something legitimately bad. Thus, this movie is a skippable but average movie that makes all the mistakes that big studio horror films are expected to make these days. Starve Starve is about some people capture by a mysterious “principle” and an abandoned school in an abandoned town and first to kill each other for food. The characters are fine. Nothing amazing there. One of the characters we’re introduced to is the somewhat annoying comedy relief, one is kind of a somewhat annoying stand-in for horror fans, and one is the somewhat charming but somewhat bland girlfriend of the stand-in. Then you have “The Principle” who definitely puts in the best performance in the film. The character has a lot of charisma. There’s also a mysterious burnt man, who, while not complex at all, is a mysterious burnt man. Take that for what you will. The acting is uneven for these protagonists, buuuuut some of that may be because the dialogue and tone of the movie is uneven. More on that later. I think the movie could be better paced. I don’t think building up these characters at the start benefited them to much, while building them up while they were captured probably would have. While the protagonists were captured, the movie claims months have gone by, but unlike many of the other contenders they didn’t seem much worse for the wear. I didn’t find the movie suspenseful at all. The meat and potatoes of this movie are the fights between hungry people, but they aren’t well done. It isn’t even that the fights aren’t well choreographed because realistically they wouldn’t be. There’s no impact in the hits or attacks in the majority of this movie. It literally feels like watching kids play fight in the backyard. Because of the poorly performed fight scenes, and because character growth and development leaves a lot to be desired between the fight scenes, the movie feels like an interesting premise and nothing else. This eventually changes. You see, the reason the “principle” is entertaining is because he’s in a movie the protagonists aren’t in yet, but when they get there, then the whole movie goes through a tonal change and becomes something that’s actually enjoyable. At the point where the protagonists are saying cheesy one liners, the movie starts to feel like a more 80′s era horror film where realism is laughed at and being scary is not the goal. The movie stops trying to be somewhat grounded and just has fun, and that is when the film is at its best. The movie also sets a decent atmosphere, but if someone can’t milk the atmosphere of an dirty abandoned school then he or she need to walk away from any and all cameras forever. This movie has CG effects and practical effects. The CG effects are noticeably CG. They’re not great, but they could have done a worse job. The practical effects are actually quite good. The practical blood is good. The CG blood is a nice color, but it doesn’t ever touch the bodies that it’s coming out of, giving itself away. This isn’t a great movie, but I do commend it for eventually finding its footing. I still can’t suggest anyone spend the time to watch this movie. I can say that the people behind it have potential.

[geekpellets]

Kill the Narrator

Upgrade Upgrade is about a man who gets an experimental chip implanted in his body allowing him to move from the neck down after he and his wife are attacked out of the blue. Obsessed with finding his wife’s killer, he finds that the chip is capable of more than it seems. The characters in this movie are just alright. It’s interesting how much this film the protagonist carries on his back, and it’s enough. There are plenty of other characters, but few are as interesting or complex and those with the potential to get there have very little screen time. Naturally, the character couldn’t carry the movie if the actor can’t carry the movie, and Logan Marshall-Green carries this movie. The other actors do their jobs well, but their roles don’t have any meat to them. The movie is well paced. It’s essentially more of a mystery than anything, with major scenes punctuated by action and violence. Generally, mysteries are slow and meticulous, but Upgrade wastes no time getting down to it. The movie does an excellent job at world building with very little exposition, and it has a great atmosphere. They took “show don’t tell to” heart. It really feels like they could set multiple movies in this world. This movie wasn’t very suspenseful to me, perhaps because of how quickly it moved, and I didn’t really care who was responsible for the murder or why.  I did care about the protagonist, his emotional development, his relationship to the a.i. in his head, and his decision making. This movie is funny, too. They are very careful and reserved with the comedy, and it is used very wisely. The CG effects are really good. There are things that happen that I’m not sure were CG or practical. This is a violent movie, it’s proud of that violence, but it doesn’t revel in it. It’s a if you blink you’ll miss it kind of hyper violence. That adds to the difficulty and telling if something is CG or practical, which is really what you want, isn’t it? The practical effects are great too. The blood is excellent. I do question why every time the protagonists throws up its milky white. I think I’ve had milky white vomit once in my entire life. It doesn’t matter, I don’t know what people it in this cyberpunk future, I’m just saying. Upgrade is a success of a movie. I wouldn’t say it is a must watch film, but it is a film worth watching. I do sincerely hope that this world is built up on in some sort of fashion, but at the same time, some of the best movies and movie worlds are those untainted by sequels. Snowflake Snowflake is about A LOT of things, but at the start, it’s about these two friends that find a script detailing everything they’ve done and are about to do, and the individual who is hunting them. There are a LOT of characters in this movie. Some of them are complex, some of them are surprisingly complex, but those that aren’t particularly complex still leave one hell of an impression. This world takes place in an alternate future where parts of the world fell into complete anarchy. That’s where these characters were raised, so most of them are bad people, but few of them are depicted as straight up evil. There are good people too, naturally, and...I wasn’t rooting for them. I was rooting for the too terrible murderous friends who found the script. That’s just how it is sometimes. The actors do an amazing job, even actors with much smaller parts ooze charisma. This movie is two hours long. Despite its intimidating length, it is a very well paced movie. The movie pushes forward, always. Even when things are slowing down for one character, things are escalating for another. This movie has so many elements in it, so much crazy stuff to throw at its audience, I don’t know how one could be bored. It’s really non-stop with its absurd ideas, and the result is an endlessly entertaining world where literally anything can happen. The protagonists finding the script is really just the very beginning of the weird stuff in this movie. The film isn’t particularly moody or atmospheric, but it does accomplish both of those things in specific scenes. They did an excellent job bringing a dirty anarchist near future to life. They did a better job taking SO many different genres, elements, and inspirations from SO many things and coalescing it into this one larger story in a way that is interesting, effective, and mostly clean. I could literally have spent the entire review going, “This is like that movie, and this is like that movie, and this is like that movie, and this is like that game, and this scene is kind of like that.” The film is a true mutt, but it might be the best mutt I could have ever hoped to adopt. If you think of it like a Tarantino film through the lens of an absurd fairy tale, you’ll get the gist of what this film is. It’s a real experience, and I’m happy to say it is a must buy film for me and a new favorite.

[geekpellets]

Tiger Time

Burning Bright Burning Bright is about a woman and her autistic brother trapped in a boarded up house with a tiger during a hurricane. The characters leave something to be desired. There is a step-father who is a one note asshole from the start. The autistic son is depicted as nothing but an obstacle. The sister is depicted as nothing but a person with an obstacle to overcome. They’re all acted well enough given their shallow roles. Before I watched this movie, I thought it was a cool concept. About five minutes into the movie, I started to realize the concept is kind of silly. They build this thing up to be the Michael Myers of tigers. Oh, it’s no ordinary tiger, it is both true evil and starving. The tiger effectively busts through doors, not busts doors open so much as actually breaks through them. I’m not saying such a thing isn’t possible, but it would have to ram its body into those doors, and that is not this tigers preferred method. As soon as the tiger touches a door it starts falling apart. They employ CG and quick cuts for the tiger and tiger related action. The CG isn’t strong, and I have never been a fan of quick cuts. I understand this would be difficult to pull off any other way, aside from animatronics, but my bias against these things flares up regardless. There are also CG doors and CG fire that are both quite noticeable. There are few examples of practical effects in this film. They are rare but well done. The blood is excellent. The pacing is just ok. It’s a short movie, but it does artificially lengthen itself with unnecessary dream sequences. Because the movie never convinces me that what’s going on isn’t silly, and only further convinces me that what’s going on is actually absurd, I felt no amount of suspense or tension. The movie does do drama well enough. It is probably the film’s strongest aspect, but it would be much improved if the characters were stronger.The movie manages to set an ok mood, but the sillier aspects of it broke it many times for me. I have other criticisms, plot related things that are minor and ultimately inconsequential. It’s not a badly made or performed film, I just don’t think it is a good one. Skip it. Tigers Are Not Afraid This is a Mexican fairy tale about kids surviving the looming threat of a gang that has the whole city in its clutches. All the child characters have personalities, but only three of them are full fledged characters. I enjoyed them all regardless, just because they seem liked ordinary kids forced into a tough situation even before the movie really gets started. The acting is good all around. Paola Lara plays Estrella, the movies foremost protagonist, and her performance is a bit robotic most of the time, but given the events of the film maybe it ought to be. Juan Ramón López plays Shine, and he effectively expresses a wide range of emotions and thoughts. The gang members are mostly little more than goons, but the threat of them is more important than the goons themselves. We rarely see them, and when we do it is often for the sake of establishing them as a threat. The dynamics and relationships between the kids might be the best part of the movie. There are many scenes that made me think of another film, Attack the Block, although this isn’t nearly has thrilling as all that. The movie’s pacing is great. This film doesn’t really try to build a mood or set an atmosphere. It’s trying to depict what’s real. Even though this film has fantasy elements, it’s not filmed like a fantasy film. This is not a Guillermo Del Toro movie. It’s grimy. I think a large part of that is probably because this film doesn’t have a substantial budget, but it works in favor of the film. The realism is the most important aspect in this fairy tale. Even though we’re dealing with crime lords and potential supernatural activity, this film failed to make me feel suspenseful most of the time. Mostly, instead, I just felt a bit sad for what these kids are going through knowing full well that this is a thing that is happening right now. Children are in danger of cartels and such right now. Their parents are being killed right now. The CG usually isn’t great, usually. There is an example of CG here that I found better than the rest. The things CG is used for don’t happen often. The practical effects are as rare, but are much more consistent in its quality. I like the design of one supernatural element in particular, I though it was a visually unique take on an old troupe. There is CG blood, but it’s not coming out of a body, so it gets a bit of a pass because it’s not something the film is trying to convince you is real. There is practical blood too, which is very well done. The movie is bold and greater than the sum of its parts by a large margin. In the end it managed to affect even my particularly frosty heart. The hype towards this film is not misplaced. This is a must own.