Throughout the past 2 months, I’ve been at my lowest. The person I liked, I cared and loved has chosen a different direction with their life. It didn’t felt nice, the heart has shattered into pieces and it was so hard to deal with it; with all the tears fell, the overthinking, the things I’ve done that I should’ve done, the guilt, the unanswered questions, was it me the problem all those time?... This is the phase of life that just hit me the most, the first breakup I considered I gave my 100% to a person I cared.
The first month, was the hardest and I got scared that moving on will take months or years, and hell I can’t do that to myself. Then the next month, I gave myself new hobbies to try, to kill time, and that includes meditating and I think it was the best thing I did to now that helped me to pause even for a while and live in the present, “it is possible to plan for the future, to reflect on the past while being in the present.” “saying no, setting boundaries, listening to your needs, and standing up for them”. However, with the past break up, even when I gave meditating a chance to my life (it wasn't consistent), recently the anxiety I had before has come back, breaking down mentally and emotionally, whenever and wherever I am, and it just sucked - I hate it.
To now, I still can't say that I've been fully moved on from the recent breakup, but I think I'm halfway through it. It's just that, I've developed the anxiety that I should probably work on at this time.
