Yea.

As tired of the human race as Edward is depressed. If you don’t like Jasper as a character, then it okay. But this blog just isn’t for you then. Take your bad vibes elsewhere.

[twilight-midnightsun]

“As a man of peace, Jasper struggled. But as a man of war, he was more that I'd ever imagined.”

[Midnight Sun]

[inspired]

[hoahoahoahoahoa]

Emmett whispering in Bella’s ear while she’s writhing in agony as she becomes a vampire: I’ll give you $50 if you pretend you don’t remember Edward when you wake up

[eeve06]

Aro: The Cullens are pacifists. Rosalie: Yes. But we're Hales, not Cullens. Jasper: *prepares for violence*

[ifeellikeimfloating]

There are so many plot holes in twilight you could strain pasta through it

[lemonadebottlecap]

that’s on purpose so you can make an Italian dish for your vampire son’s human gf

[shitforks]

but she already ate tho..

[lemonadebottlecap]

[academia-aesthetics]

[nighttime-patron-of-the-arts]

Jasper visits France

[breakingisabella]

not great thanks for asking lucy

[eeve06]

Random headcanon:

Carlisle has a separate photo album with mug shots of his children, taken when they were in trouble. With captions like "Edward, speeding, 1986" or "Jasper, card counting in Las Vegas, 2000"

There are most photos of Emmett.

[gemstone-jasper]

…but not a single one of Rosalie.

Girl never gets caught

[fuckmeyer]

even if Bella WAS a perfect vampire, & even if this WAS who she was always meant to be, it wouldn't erase her insecurity of fitting in. she would completely overpower the Cullens in sports & competitions for at least a year. they have decades of inside jokes, memories, and cultural experiences she will never share. that's nothing to say of the real-world experience she lacks. & while no one would admit it, her perfect control must get irritating for someone like Jasper, who struggles with the diet, or Rose, who until now could brag about having the cleanest record besides Carlisle. obviously, as a vampire in a human's world, she's never going to find a true sense of belonging. but even among the Cullens, i don't see her overcoming that feeling anytime soon, despite what she might want to believe.

[fuckmeyer]

by making her a Perfectly Perfect Vampire, smeyer limits Bella's opportunities to bond with her new family. she's not opening up about how hard it is to resist the call for blood. or how frustrated she is that she can't do simple tasks like holding a pencil. or how sad she is that she had to leave Charlie behind. by being Too Perfect to kill the hiker, she misses out on the comfort she would have gotten from Emmett or Esme. she won't have adult conversations with Edward about the guilt he feels from his rebellious phase, & how to cope. we don't see Carlisle or Jasper pulling strings to erase her from the scene of the crime, or the family pitching in to reestablish their lives

like. idk if Bella (/smeyer) realizes that the Cullens are likely close because they've made awful, irreparable mistakes together and have leaned on each other in hard times. i think Bella believes her value lies in being useful and not a burden. she gets everything she wants, but there's still an unspoken cost. i think, by making her Perfect, smeyer has made her untouchable - even to the Cullens.

[bellasdumptruckass]

twilight but bella does have feelings for mike, too, so eclipse is a love square. important detail: no one can tell mike about the supernatural shit so he's just confused 100% of the time

[bellasdumptruckass]

anyway here's this

[1953swan]

hmmgnng eggward

[nomadvictoria]

cracking open a Cold One

[1953swan]

[a-little-theatrical-back-then]

I’m just going to give a few fancast ideas for the Twilight Saga if it was made in the 80s or 90s…

Jennifer Connelly as Bella Swan:

Brendan Fraser as Carlisle:

Winona Ryder as Rosalie:

Tbh I’m stuck with this one, because I think she would be a great Alice too! But there’s this edge and seriousness that Rosalie heavily carries that I think Winona Ryder would play off so perfectly

Alyson Hannigan as Alice:

Julia Roberts as Victoria

Rob Lowe as Riley Biers:

[jasperwhitcock]

twilight x icarly

au where spencer is a feared vampire hunter & the volturi’s biggest threat

[draftmonologue]

Robert Pattinson shitting on twilight saga at the production set

[edwardssnail]

the fact that someone took smeyer’s mormon vampire series and turned it into a trilogy of porn novels is really funny to me

[bisexualemmettcullen]

[esmeshardwoodfloors]

ok but like…imagine the Cullen kids arguing over who has the cleanest record re: blood drinking and whether ‘singers’ should count or not and Carlisle being like ‘um it’s not a competition, human life should be taken very seriously’ etc. etc. and Emmett being like ‘ok but you don’t GET it though’ and Carlisle very pointedly saying ‘I HAVE tasted human blood you know’ and just like…gesturing vaguely at half his family who quite often Forget That

and then there’s like a half second of awkward silence before Emmett is like ‘ok out of the four of us who tasted best’ and Carlisle being like ‘I’m NoT goING to RATE yoU by FlaVoR’

[twilightssss]

a list of things that make the cullens seem like a fucking cult

matching family crest jewellery - who tf wants to entirely associate themselves with their family at 17

only talking to each other - see above

the very fact that theyre all ‘adopted’ and ‘not blood relatives’ yet they all look similarly ethereal and have the same eye colour

dating each other - theyre very fucking committed for high schoolers…. bit weird

also the incest implications of dating each other

when one of them actually dates someone outside the family, she immediately becomes very close with all of them and rarely talks to anyone else

bella swan got married to a cullen straight out of high school and then completely disappeared

although she did keep in touch with charlie, who lives in forks and presumably has no plans to leave, and she is living nearby. probably people who knew her before have seen her and been like…. ‘did the cullens get her plastic surgery??? that’s weird’

bella was announced to be dead and yet people have probably seen a very beautiful version of her visiting her dad

her dad never even seemed to mourn her, despite the whole town knowing how much he loved and doted on her

there was no funeral for bella swan

are you really telling me that no one noticed the influx of visitors to the cullens and then the spree of disappearances in nearby cities?? really??

theyre hella fucking rich

buzzfeed unsolved voice today we’re looking at the mysterious case of the Cullen Family and the disappearance of Isabella Swan…