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[genderblenderblog]

Tongzi - Gwai Mui

July 1, 1997,the transfer of sovereignty over Hong Kong from the United Kingdom to Mainland China.

 As a teenagerliving in the United States, this had little affect on me, but even at that tender age, I felt a certain level of empathy for the people of Hong Kong, for I knew what it was to live in a society of certain freedoms that should be a given at birth, but in the world of politics, things are not so black-and-white.  As a child, I was taught that I lived in the freest country in the world, but even as a young child I realized that this was just a façade. I say this because I am homosexual.

 I was born into in a multicultural family with deep cultural and religious beliefs, but a family that accepted freewill and individuality. At the age of 14, I told my mother that I was gay; she laughed at me and told me to tell her something that she did not know. The acceptance of who I was and who I was to become was instantaneous. I would never know the struggles of being gay and, “coming out,” (to my family) that my peers would experience, for I was accepted through-and-through no matter what.

 Even with the support of my family, they could not prepare me enough for what I was going to experience as homosexual living in the “freest country in the world.” As an out and gay teen, young adult, and even in my adulthood, I’ve experienced hated, bigotry, and rejection within my own country, and abroad. I’ve always shrugged it off as ignorance, but it wasn’t until I fell in love with Hong Kong, and one of Hong Kong’s own that the subject of Hong Kong’s democracy and freedom from Mainland China, that this subject really hit my heart.

 By chance we met, what the Greeks call, “fatum,” we are indeed soul mates, split a part by Zeus himself. Oceans a part, worlds a part, our meeting was just that, chance, but that of two old souls having a homecoming.

 Naturally, (in the heterosexual world) we would meet, fall in love, and marry. Both families would rejoice, and we would fall into ordinary existence.  This is not the case, while I am accepted and loved, the love of my life is living in the closet, and expected to meet “traditional Chinese values.”  But this statement alone causes great confusion and conflict because of Hong Kong’s fight for freedom and democracy from Mainland China.

 My plea alone is not enough for Mainland China to grant Hong Kong sovereignty, but I, and others before me, and after, plead for the acceptance of your homosexual children living within, and aboard Hong Kong. Hong Kong is a global city, progressive, and a trendsetter, just as any major city in the world, and we homosexuals, plead for the same freedoms as anyone else in this world that we call our own.  For we too have values and beliefs that rival that of your own.  For we too, want the same freedoms that you (heterosexuals) take for granted on a daily basis. We aren’t the misconceptions that you’ve been fed. We love, hurt, and breathe just as you do.

I have the acceptance of my family, and to a certain extent, my country, but within my home state, that acceptance has not been extended, this is why I feel so deeply about the right of my people wherever they may be. I’m asking my home state and Hong Kong, love your children no matter what, for we ache for your acceptance, we need your support, just as you need ours in the fight for freedom, and acceptance of our way of life. We are not much different from you; ask us, for you never know who is living amongst you. Religion and politics are just that, and should not separate love. Love is love, and should be celebrated as such. Question us (homosexuals) on religion and politics, and you’ll find that we are not far off from your views. I beg you, Hong Kong, and I plead with the world to expand your thought process.

 I am an ordinary person living within the united states, within a state, that does not completely accept who I am as a free person, born within the “freest country in the world,” I plead for you, my brothers and sisters, we too shall be accepted, hopefully within our lifetime.

 “It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.” - Aristotle

[genderblenderblog]

Am I normal?

I’ve been subjected to discrimination in a variety of forms.Since the age of two I’ve identified as a gay female. Yes, I had a very clear understanding of what the word gay meant. I was fortunate enough to be born to a very open, honest, and accepting mother. I never really had to come out to my family, and when I thought that I was, my mother laughed, and told me to tell her something that she didn’t know.

 Even though I was graced to have the acceptance of my entire family, I still had the struggles of coming out to my peers. My mother never forced me to dress a certain way or to behave a certain way. Of course she raised me with manners, but in terms of my own individuality, she gave me free rein, and because of that, I developed into a tomboy. For years it was evident that I was female because I had long hair, but somewhere around the age of nine years old I chopped all of my hair off, still evident that I was female no one ever questioned my sexuality. At the age of 11, my older sister came home from Los Angeles with a cool hair cut, very similar to the styles that are fashionable today. I begged my mother to let me cut my hair just like my older sister. Being the open-minded mother that she is, she cut my hair herself. My mom took clippers and shaved the sides and back of my hair, leaving just the hair on top of my head so that I could flip my hair to the side, ironically, I have this exact hairstyle present day.

 Entering middle school, I didn’t think that my new hairstyle was odd or boyish. I didn’t see any gender boundaries because my mom never created those boundaries, but little did I know that other kid’s parents did create such boundaries, and because of this, I was the subject of bullying. As mentioned before, I identified as a gay female, and not a lesbian. For a long time I identified as a gay female because in my mind the word lesbian was such a perverted degrading word. Growing up in the 80’s and 90’s, lesbians didn’t really have much of a voice, not like gay men did in those days. As odd as it sounds, it seems that gay men were much more accepted than lesbians in that era.  

 During this period of my life I faced a lot of discrimination from my peers. I rode a skateboard, looked like a little boy, and my best friend was a queer boy that looked like Martin Gore from Depeche Mode, but acted like Madonna. He wore skinny jeans (his moms), and Vans before it was the cool thing that hipsters did, and continue to do.  I got into a lot of physical altercations during this time, as well as, verbal disputes. I always kept to myself, and just the little group of friends that accepted me for who I was. Again, I never came out, but it was very evident in my appearance, and attitude that I was indeed queer.

 It was during this time that I would have to face the harsh reality of discrimination, but it was also during this time that I developed a strong sense of my own identity.  With the love, and support of my family, and true friends, I grew into a determined, outspoken individual.  Always taught to stand up for what I believed in, I was sometimes the target of cruel jokes, and ridicule, but I always spoke my mind, and shrugged it off, never giving it a second thought because I was comfortable in my own skin.  I didn’t need the acceptance of strangers nor did I need the acceptance of anyone that I didn’t view as my equal.

 It wasn’t until recently that the acceptance of strangers started to matter.  Everything that I believed in, everything that I was taught as right, and wrong, was now questioned and looked down upon, and because of this, I have questioned whether I am normal.  What is normal? Who is normal? Am I normal?