GenderQueer Confessions

support, advice, answers, confessions. FAQ // tags mods:cris&elliott. groovy mutant(s)

[genderqueerconfessions]

PSA

Hello all!

First of ll, I would like to apologize for our absence these past few months. Both Elliott and I have been having a rough time in our personal lives and unfortunately this blog has taken a backseat. Neither of us are equipped to run something like this anymore, so this is our farewell post. 

The blog will remain up, and when I have spare time I’ll try to answer the questions still in the inbox, but no guarantees.

If you have any questions regarding our decision to stop running the blog, feel free to send them to my personal, but I won’t be taking any gender-related questions anymore. The inbox and submissions for this blog will be closed from today on. 

Thank you all for following us for so long and for the support throughout the years, through us teaching and learning from each other, from just a few followers to over 6,500, it’s been truly amazing and I’m very proud of how far we’ve come.

I wish you all the best!

<3 -Cris.

[genderqueerconfessions]

I've just recently come to the conclusion that I was genderfluid. My question is how when I feel masculine do I go about making myself appear so? Because even with my binder on and guys clothes people still can tell. Should I pack ? How do I make my voice more masculine sounding on those days? So many question.

Honestly, for most people, it is the voice that will get people :/ there are a lot of ways you can try to sound more “masculine”, though! look around for some videos showing how. there are a few ways, and no one way seems to work for everyone, so try some out for a couple of weeks at a time and see how they work for you. in general, speaking from your chest more helps a lot, I’ve found. Also, you may want to pay just a bit more attention to the fit of the men’s clothes you’re wearing, because it can be easy to get clothes that still look feminine on you even though they are from the men’s section. a lot of things discourage wearing plaid bc people will think you’re a lesbian?? but i always have worn plenty of plaid and it never seems to be The Problem for me, it’s always my voice. Packers are mostly a confidence thing in my experience, but could help for sure if people are noticing it. -Elliott

[genderqueerconfessions]

Hi I wanted to ask if it is possible to be genderfluid and gay?

Hey!That is absolutely possible!!! Many non-binary people consider themselves gay simply for the reason that there really is no “”opposite””gender to us, and so they consider any attraction they could have to be gay. I myself fall into that category. However, some also use gay to express an attraction purely to a gender they feel more closely to, or to mean people who identify with their assigned gender for some. It’s entirely up to you, and gay/straight don’t really have a concrete relation to non-binary identities. tldr; yeah, you can be whatever feels right, friend. if anyone tells you otherwise, i will fight them for you -Elliott

[genderqueerconfessions]

Hello! What is the difference between Maverique and Aporagender? I'm just curious, so please don't take it as me trying to invalidate either of them.

Hey there,I’m much more familiar with maverique (considering that’s what I am), and I do like going to sources, so here is a post that the person who coined maverique made about this topic: http://queerascat.tumblr.com/post/143924674511/hi-what-is-the-difference-between-maverique-and#notesthe most important part, I think, is, “according to the coiner of aporagender, aporagender can be used as an umbrella term. It can potentially encompass many genders, whereas maverique is a single, specific gender.”-Elliott

[genderqueerconfessions]

Hey you don't mind me asking if you have any other blogs i can follow? Like any others of the same theme or an art blog or personal blog you are comfortable sharing?

Hello! :) I don’t mind at all. I need to update it, we should have them in the sidebar.Anyway, my main is @johnothy, I also have an art blog which is @docterminus. Cris’ main is @margarita-cipher-Elliott

[genderqueerconfessions]

Hello! I like your blog very much and I really honor you and your activities. I have a question whether I can reblog and translate your writings into Korean?

Oh, absolutely! I think that would be wonderful, it seems to be a lot harder to find good information about trans/nb things in other languages than English, and I’d love to know more is getting out there. If you would like, we could even put a link to your blog somewhere on the blog :) And, as a general statement, if anyone wants to translate things, feel free and we will gladly list you here somewhere if you want.-Elliott

[genderqueerconfessions]

Hello! I was wondering if I could get a boost? I recently started blog for people questioning their genders, especially people in systems. The blog is genderexploration, thank you for your time!

check it out ! @genderexploration-Elliott

[genderqueerconfessions]

Hey I've just posted about a give away I'm doing for a 4xl underworks 997 binder, I tagged your blog in the tags but incase that doesn't show up its on this blog, if you could please help get the word out that would be amazing, I really wanna give this away. Thank you!!

Wow, thank you for letting us know!! That is awesome! Remember to check your size at underworks first before you enter! :)-Elliott

[genderqueerconfessions]

So I came out to my 2 sisters as genderqueer and they were both super supportive. One of them told me that they always thought I'd come out as andro or fluid. The other told me she always knew something was up because every time I was home I seemed very constrained (my folks aren't the type to understand me). They both want to be involved in my life and I'm so glad I have them!

💖💖💖 that's awesome!! I'm so happy you have such wonderful and supportive sisters :) -cris.

[genderqueerconfessions]

Is being bigender a thing? I feel like I am both genders but I have never come across anyone else who feels this way and identifies as bigender.

yesss, bigender is very much a thing!!! most people that I know usually feel both male and female, but it of coursw can be any combination of two genders.-cris.

[genderqueerconfessions]

What is maverique?

Hello! The definition most recently posted by the person who coined the term, is “franglais coined by Vesper H. from the English eponym“maverick” and the French suffix “-ique”.  pronounciation is “mav-REEK”,  rhyming with “antique”.a gender characterized by autonomy and inner convictionregarding a sense of self that is entirely independent ofmale/masculinity, female/femininity or anything which derivesfrom the two while still being neither without gendernor of a neutral gender.”If you want any help understanding this definition for any reason, or have any other questions about it, feel free to ask (I’m maverique myself, so I’m pretty comfortable talking in detail about it specifically) and also you can check out the #maverique tag, as well as the #maverique tag on the blog of the person who coined it, queerascat.tumblr.com! This is a post, also, on why they coined it: http://queerascat.tumblr.com/post/88861493366/maverique-why-i-coined-the-word-Elliott

[genderqueerconfessions]

i don't feel like any gender suits me, including agender. is it okay for me to just identify as non-binary?

Absolutely! Non-binary can be used as an umbrella term and as a specific identity. Plenty of people simply identify as non-binary. When I don’t feel like going into length about me being maverique, I usually just say non-binary.-Elliott

[genderqueerconfessions]

I'm agenderflux, and I feel very alone.... There's no like...I mean, even searching on The Google I get the 'did you mean genderfluid' and I didn't, I meant exactly what I typed. No 'label' has ever felt better, but at the same time I feel fake because I can't find anything on it, or any other people that are, and it sucks! Do you have any blog recommendations or anything where I could find someone with my gender so I don't feel alone?

I don’t, but maybe our followers do? Please reblog this or reply with anything you’ve got, even if it’s just “I’m agenderflux too, you can talk to me!” Also, I understand and there are others, and I’m happy that you found a word that fits for you.

[genderqueerconfessions]

Hello. my friends usually joke around and call me agender because they say I act like a flamboyant teenage boy, I feel like a guy and I don't want my boobs I don't want guy parts either and it's not consistent, other times I feel a bit of both?

Hello,I’m not sure if there is a question here, but it sounds like you need to spend some time thinking about how you feel and looking at some words that might better describe how you feel. Best of luck and feel free to talk to use more if you have any more questions <3 Also, this sounds like you may be nonbinary, demi(x)gender, or maybe genderfluid! -Elliott

[genderqueerconfessions]

Hi!! So I've always felt a bit disconnected from the female gender and had a neutral aspect to myself, but I was never 100% either. Last year I found the term demigirl an recently I came out to my family and friends. But I'm wondering how this affects sexuality. I've always been attracted to men. But I find my demiflux friend attractive too. I think it's cause his feminine side still has aspects of masculinity. I feel like it's weird to say I'm straight when I'm not even cis. I just need advice.

Hello,If straight is what you feel the most comfortable or accurate calling yourself, the fact that you’re not cis or binary doesn’t mean you have to change that. It’s all about what feels right to you. You may also find terms like heteroflexible more suiting. And there are straight people who have been attracted to or had relationships with nonbinary people and still identified as straight. It’s complicated, and nobody HAS to change their identity because of it. Some people find that umbrella terms work better, many people simply identify as gay or queer if they can’t pin it down, and perhaps for you straight or heteroflexible would be the closest. -Elliott

[genderqueerconfessions]

I've recently come to terms with being neutrois, and honestly the hardest part is coming out to my best friend. She is incredibly sceptical of non-binary identities and I even have a laugh and joke with her, but I'm afraid coming out will affect our friendship. I know she knows I never fake this sort of thing, but she has known people who faked being gay and trans, and with her attitude towards NB tumblr I do feel it could cause pressure

HelloThis is a really common and scary situation, and I’m very sorry that you have to deal with it. I’d love to tell you for sure everything will be okay, but I can’t promise that. If she loves you and cares about you, there’s a good chance she will understand and come around. I’ve had friends be shitty about it a lot but come around. I find that the best method for myself and most people is to either send a message online or write a letter, because face to face can be a lot scarier and it can be hard to articulate things and not leave things out. I wrote one to some friends I considered family a long time ago and never sent it, which I regret, but one thing I included was how important they are to me and how important it is to me to feel comfortable and safe with them, and how being closeted and misgendered changed that for me and made me want it back. Emphasize that it is important to you, and not just a little thing. We have a coming out tag that may help you as well, and patience can be crucial because as I said, sometimes it takes some time. My datefriend, Teddy, when he first came out to his spouse they split up because his spouse didn’t understand and was freaked out. They went to couples counseling and a year later were okay again and better than before, and his spouse realized that they are agender. The first reaction doesn’t always mean that’s what will stay, and I wish you the very best with your friend.-Elliott

[genderqueerconfessions]

Is it okay that I'm okay with my birth name being a girl name yet I'm genderqueer? My birth name is Eliza btw, I think I'm okay with it though because it sounds like 'Elijah'.

Hey! Your feelings about your name are entirely valid buddy! My birth name is neutral and so is my chosen name. As long as you’re comfortable, you’re good <3-Elliott