Frederick Carter, The Dragon Of The Alchemists, 1936

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Frederick Carter, The Dragon Of The Alchemists, 1936
The ego is not the internal voice, but rather the conviction that the voice represents you.
That is a profound and highly accurate distinction. You are separating the mechanical production of thoughts from the psychological attachment to them.
Understanding the Shift
The Internal Voice: This is just mental chatter, conditioned patterns, and data processing.
The Ego: This is the invisible glue that connects your sense of identity to that chatter.
The Trap: Believing "I am thinking this, therefore this thought is who I am."
The Freedom: Recognizing that you are the space in which the voice happens, not the voice itself.
HOW LOVE ENTERS
Come into the light, my love,
and let yourself be seen.
I know how frightening that sounds.
Because somewhere deep inside, you carry the old terror:
“If they really see me, they’ll leave.”
So you learned to hide.
You created a persona. A mask. Carefully edited versions of yourself. The strong one. The spiritual one. The calm one. The funny one. The wise one. The busy one. The positive one.
Anything but the naked truth of your humanity.
You hid your grief. Your loneliness. Your sensuality. Your anger. Your trembling heart. You hid the parts of yourself that were once shamed and ridiculed.
But something in you never stopped longing for the light.
Like a moth circling a flame, you still ache to be fully seen. Fully known. Fully met.
And here is the paradox:
The ego thinks the light will kill you.
That you won’t survive it.
But when you finally step into it,
what burns up is not your deepest self.
What burns is the performance.
The armour.
The false self you built to survive.
And what remains is something simple, human, utterly radiant:
Your authenticity.
Your tenderness.
Your truth.
This is how you let yourself be loved.
Not by becoming impressive.
But by allowing yourself to be known.
Perhaps this is why love feels so holy and so intense and so damn frightening at the same time:
Something in you has to die for love to enter.
What dies is the hiding.
What dies is the fear.
Come into the light.
- Jeff Foster
When you do not produce another force of hatred, the opposing force collapses ~ Chögyam Trungpa
the peak of sadness is laughing
the peak of happiness is crying
and the peak of anger is silence
Unknown
Change in this world is inevitable, but we can choose how we dance with it. Knowing we are capable of handling any outside changes with our inner practices allows a sense of trust into our life. This trust is our road home through the world’s dance of impermanence.
Tennessee Williams // "The world is violent and mercurial…it will have its way with you. We are saved only by love…love for each other and the love that we pour into the art we feel compelled to share: being a parent, being a writer, being a painter, being a friend. We live in a perpetually burning building, and what we must save from it, all the time, is love."
The man who wants to improve himself can never be aware, because improvement implies condemnation and the achievement of a result.
Whereas in awareness there is observation without condemnation, without denial or acceptance.
Jiddu Krishnamurti
He suggests that the moment you try to improve, you have already judged yourself as "not good enough". This creates a conflict between what is and what should be, which actually prevents you from seeing yourself clearly.
True awareness is choice-less; it’s like a mirror that reflects exactly what is there without trying to polish the image. When you stop trying to change, the psychological friction ends, and that clarity often brings about a more profound, natural transformation than any forced "self-improvement" ever could.
When we love something fully, we merge into it, we lose our sense of separation. Love says that I am connected to everything, and in recognizing thst connection, true compassion arises. When we let go into love, we lose ourselves into the mystery and become one with it all. At our center, we are all loving awareness, so when you recognize love in another you recognize it in yourself. And when you recognize it in yourself, you recognize it in another. This is our road home.
We meet people in our life, and some of them feel like they belong with us. Slowly, we start to believe they are meant to stay, that they are part of our forever. We hold them close in our thoughts and build a future where leaving does not exist. Their presence becomes familiar, comforting, almost necessary. Without knowing, we begin to shape our days around them.
But life is not built on forever. People are not given to us to keep, they are given to us to shape us. Some stay for a lifetime, some only for a moment. And when they leave, it does not mean the connection was false. It means their purpose in our life was fulfilled. What remains is the change they left behind, quietly living inside us.
The devotional blowjob...A lingual offering of appreciation. You know I love the esoteric, the divine realms, the high temple arts... And I extra love calling down the heavens to saturate the mundane. For most of my life as a sexual being, I hated fellatio. It felt performative, pornographic, and derogatory - I avoided it. Through my healing journey, I came to a point where I decided that I didn’t want to say no to something just because I’d never had access to a different relationship with it. I read interviews by the professionals (wink), I looked for tips and tricks, and I reached out to a friend of mine who had a much better relationship with this skill to teach me. We had several Zoom meetings where she allowed me to share how I felt, and she taught me the logistics. I sought out my own healing. I wanted to change my mind. And change my mind I have. Oral devotion as an incredible gift, for the giver and receiver. It is deeply bonding. It is a powerful way for a man to receive love, attention, appreciation. I have had clients that struggle to receive in this way in their intimate relationships - they themselves have bought into the lie that women don't enjoy it. If this is your man, I invite you to show sweet enthusiasm that you'd like to continue. Imagine the narratives that he has running that would lead him to that place - be patient and persistent. There is a deep devotion in the act of oral worship. It is an act of love. Depending on the position you prefer, it can be a clear act of worship. Bow before you begin. For many men, having a woman willingly and reverently worship their c--k without manipulation, expectation, or performance, is almost too much to take in. It can trigger self-worth wounds. It can awaken long-buried shame and crack open the heart. It is also play - it's a moment where cock can be free to do as it pleases... for the giver to explore and celebrate all the stages of size, texture and color. It can be slow and gentle, or deep and hungry, or reverent and adoring, or spicy and assertive. Allow yourself to delight in it, and for him to witness your delight. It dances across the line of devotional service and being in control. Physiologically the giver can play with being in control vs having the receiver be in control. The giver can offer their body in devotion, or they can command stillness in the receiver and 'take' what they want. There is a wide spectrum of power dynamics. Devotional oral devotion doesn’t follow the porn script. It’s not about power-over nor about technique alone. It’s about reprogramming the body to know that pleasure and reverence can coexist. The cock is not a nuisance or a liability. It is a living, breathing wand of life force. And when honored in devotion, it can awaken something primal, sacred, and tender in both giver and receiver. Let’s also speak to the historical wound: For centuries, simply having a cock placed a person higher in the hierarchy. It meant power, status, voice, safety. That history lives in the collective feminine body. In the deepest layers of the psyche, there can be a quiet resistance to physically worshipping something that has been used to dominate, exclude, or silence. Allow this to be in your awareness - you have the power, nay the privilege, to shift the tide of your lineage. To engage in cock worship from a place of sovereignty is to reclaim it as not only a sexual act but as a conscious choice to meet the masculine not in hierarchy, but in holiness. It is so simple for men. They love it - it's a gift for them. Don't buy them flowers. Give enthusiastic worship. ~ Amber Kelly
1970s chicks
I chose this solitude. Or perhaps it chose me - an unspoken pact made in silence, in the hollow hours where no voices linger but my own. Here, where the winds sing only to themselves, and the sun strips away all the illusion, I find clarity. Painful, sharp edged clarity.
FTBN