You dream of being too fat to move, but you still rely on momentum and awkward rocking motions to heave your massive body out of chairs, couches and beds, pretending you still have control. This ritual forces you to remove that momentum and confront the true, obese weight of the lard pinning you down.
Ritual XVIII: the Gravity Trap
You all share the same lazy fantasy. You dream of waking up so unimaginably obese, so smothered in endless pounds of sagging blubber, that you literally cannot figure out how to lift yourself out of a chair. You want your belly to be a physical impossibility.
Today you stop dreaming about the collapse. Today you start measuring how close you are to it.
The Directive:
For your next binge, you will not sit on a couch or a soft bed where you can roll away. You will sit on a hard, armless dining chair.
Eat until your stomach is distended, tight, and painfully pressing against your thighs. Eat until your breathing is shallow.
When the plates are completely empty, you will perform the Gravity Trap.
The Mechanic:
Do not lean forward. Do not use your arms to push off your knees or the edge of the seat.
Sit perfectly upright, your back flat against the chair. Let your massive, overstuffed apron hang free and heavy in your lap.
Now, using only your leg muscles and your core, try to stand straight up.
No rocking. No swinging your weight. Just pure, vertical lift.
Feel the exact moment your biology fails you. Feel the grotesque, disproportionate density of your own gut anchoring your center of gravity to the furniture beneath you. Your thighs will tremble, your knees will scream, but the sheer tonnage of the lard pouring over your lap will refuse to let you rise.
You are structurally trapped by your own greed.
Stay there. Acknowledge that you have successfully eaten away your leverage.
Whisper to the mass keeping you pinned:
"I have built a body too heavy to lift."
Do not attempt to stand again until you have completely accepted the humiliation of your failing architecture. Repeat until completely immobile.
