Iāve been in this fandom for a year now, even if this blog is technically new, but Iām just not feeling this game or these blogs all that much anymore. Outlast is still one of my favorites, but I just feel down being on here and really have no motivation to fight muse that isnāt there. This characterās kind of gone in a way that I didnāt want him to go, too, and Iāve been thinking of leaving the fandom for a while. So, this character, along with my other OC, will be available on Skype, but their accounts wonāt be around anymore.
If you want my Skype, feel free to ask for it. Iāll keep this up for another day or two, but Iāve had my mind made up about this for a while already if Iām being completely honest.]
[This is by far the worst head/chest cold I've had in a LONG while. I wish I could work through drafts, since I've got muse somehow, but I just can't. I've got all the replies and starters drafted and will work through them when I can do more mentally. :L]
āYou fuckingā little ā SHIT!ā
Tobiās rage was adamant; if Matt wanted to get pass him, it would be over his dead body. They grappled in the landing, grunting and hitting and neither willing to give in. Each second that ticks by is another second somebody could hear, could see what was going on, and it was another second that left Tobi more panicked than the one before it. He had to get Matt quiet and back home, fast.
Thereād been an opening at some point when Mattād gone low. His neck, his bare bruised beautiful neck, was wide open. The meat of it crushed easily under the weight of Tobiās hands, the surprise of his sudden grip. This was not a killing move; he just needed him to shut up.
āMatt - Motya,ā He breathed as he urged him toward the ground, arms straining with Mattās resistance,Ā āyou gotta - gotta calm the fuck down, Motya,ā
A quick choked noise escaped Matthew once he felt Tobiās hands around his throat, squeezing. Any sort of noises or shouts that he had been building up were blocked because of this, he could feel Tobi pressing down, most likely trying to get him on the floor. Adrenaline was doing itās job, though Matthew was having hard time ignoring the pressure on his windpipe and the slight ringing in his ears from when he had hit his head.Ā
Still, he fought back, hands gripping at Tobiās arms, digging nails in and twisting, hoping to pry his hands away from his throat, but the other man was surprisingly strong. The more Matthew pressed against his grip to keep himself standing, the tighter the pressure around his throat became. He could at least hear Tobi talking to him, telling him to calm down. He grit his teeth, genuinely pissed off. Angry at himself for not knowing better, not taking more time to piece together a plan, and he was pissed off at Tobi for finding him.Ā
At least, the was the reason why he was pissed at him in the current moment.Ā
Yet, he felt one of his knees buckle, bare feet scraping against concrete as he tried to keep himself upright. Shit, he felt that he may just be losing this battle, he was pretty weak enough on his own, along with his very recent pain and now Tobi...
He had made one hell of a mistake. Yet, he wasnāt giving up, no, he just needed another opportunity. He didnāt get on the ground, a small part of his pride not allowing him to do so, but he did loosen his grip on Tobiās arms slightly, allowing his shoulders to slump slightly.Ā
As Mathew turned the corner, the janitor leaned against the wall, trying to get enough energy to walk back to the hiding place; even he knew when his body wouldnāt go much longer and he needed more rest before getting back to work.Ā
He barely heard the door falling, wasnāt aware of the danger until Mathew came tearing back down the hall and grabbed him. Not asking what happened, what was there, Alex lurched into a run. The adrenaline that he needed began to flood through him, drowning out the pain so that he could move as fast.Ā
Hearing the shout, Alex knew there were variants close behind. They ran blindly, Mathew not knowing the building and Alex not having enough time to figure out a good root.Ā āVent!ā Alex gasped. He and Mathew were about the same size, but a lot of the other variants were too big to fit into one.Ā
When they saw the an open one, Mathew went in, Alex following and crying out in pain as a knife ripped its way down his leg. He kicked out with his uninjured leg, knocking the attacker away as he crawled deeper into the tight space, following Mathew.Ā
Instantly, his gaze locked on the vent just ahead of them at hearing what Alex had said. Thankfully, he didnāt have to drag the other far before he was running on his own, but he knew that they couldnāt run for too long. The other variants were gaining on them, and at the moment, that vent seemed like a Godsend. Trying to be as quick as he could about it so that Alex could climb in after him, Matthew threw himself up against the wall, hooking his hands against the bottom of the vent before pulling himself up. Alex was close behind, Matthew glancing back at him as much as the space would allow at hearing his cry of pain, though he seemed to get rid of whoever or whatever was hurting him.Ā
Matthew could hear some of the men outside the vent shouting, running down another hallway. They probably were looking for another way to get to them, or where the vent opened out to. Either way, Matthew wasnāt a fan. Quickly, he pulled himself along the vent, not wanting to wait around and give them the chance to get at them.Ā
It didnāt take him long before he found an opening in the vent, dropping down into a dark room. Carefully, he positioned himself over the opening before dropping down, landing on the floor with a thud. Matthew glanced back up at the vent, waiting on Alex.Ā
āYou alright?ā he asked,Ā āThat sounded painful back there.ā
He can feel it, like he's just beendropped into a scene and he has no idea how he managed to get there.
Yet, it's nothing stressful. Thetelevision is playing something, all he can make out are just blearyshapes, they could have been people, animals, scenery, he honestlycouldn't tell. Matthew was leaned back into his couch, feeling aheavy warmth of something pressed against his side and in his lap. Hecan feel fur in between his fingers as he curls them slightly in ahalf hearted scratch. It's his dog, obviously. Or a dog, he can'tbring himself to glance down for some reason.
There was nothing threatening or urgentabout anything that was going on, yet he couldn't seem to relax. Hisbody didn't seem to mirror that, but his mind was telling himotherwise. Finally, he managed to pull his eyes away from thetelevision, glancing down at his hand. There are clumps of fur stuckto his fingers and palm, and he noticed that the heat that had beenpresent was gone. Matthew finally did glance down at the dog, it'shead resting in his lap, jaw slightly agape. The fur on it's head wasmostly gone, the skin under rotting. There is a glossy eye remaining,staring out at nothing, it's legs bent, lacking fur and he couldalmost start to see bone. There are insects suddenly, crawlingthrough what was left of the fur and through bits of the skin.
As if he had suddenly realized justwhat the hell he was looking at, Matthew shot back and kicked outwith his legs, the dog tumbling off the couch and onto the floor in aheap. He can hear barking in his ears, was that his dog? Who'sdog was this?
It's a fleeting thought, the image of adog out in the street, getting pulled under a set of wheels. Hisbrother is there, too, but he can't make him out enough before theback of the couch is suddenly replaced with cool concrete, a yell inhis ears.
It takes him a few moments before herealized that he's yelling his heart out, kicking out at nothing ashe manages to stop himself from falling off the cot. He can hear thesound of other people yelling out, the sound of bars being hit andshaken.
āDream,ā he muttered, āA fuckingdream.ā
There's a small film of sweat acrossthe back of his neck, Matthew sitting up completely on his cot as hecalmed himself. For a few moments, his gaze met the leering, yetalmost curious, gaze of the man in the cell across from him.
[Still feeling weak as shit today, so all my plans have fallen out and Iām sitting at home. I kind of want to write, so I thought Iād offer up drabbles today. Might take a bit depending on what it is or how Iām feeling, but Iāll get to it.
So, feel free to request one. Can be as tame, gory, or nsfw as you want. Can be about our two characters, or just a prompt in general. Iām taking whatever. :)]
[Still feeling weak as shit today, so all my plans have fallen out and Iām sitting at home. I kind of want to write, so I thought Iād offer up drabbles today. Might take a bit depending on what it is or how Iām feeling, but Iāll get to it.
So, feel free to request one. Can be as tame, gory, or nsfw as you want. Can be about our two characters, or just a prompt in general. Iām taking whatever. :)]
okey doke i really hate to make another one of these posts but it gets more urgent by the day so
hi im zen. iāve recently moved out on my own sort of but itās gone very very badly. iāve moved in with my sister, her boyfriend, and a seemingly fluctuating amount of other people. being a first-time mover who was desperate to get out of my old situation, i was ready to move just about anywhere. however, in this caseĀ āanywhereā ended up being a shitty, disgusting decades-old farm house in the middle of nowhere.
My room is severely undersized and I feel cramped at all hours of the day; its also really ugly which i know isnt the main thing but trust me it gets to you. the bathroom is disgusting and rusty; the bath tub is in some state of disrepair and the showerhead is rusty and decades old. the water smells and tastes like rotten eggs, making drinking it impossible, let alone showering in it. the house is eternally caked in some film of dirt because the family is hoarders. everything stinks. the locks on doors donāt work. my sister lied about a lot of things (such as the size of the room) and also about how i would mostly have the upstairs to myself but no my neighbors are her boyfriends parents who are extremely loud, chain smoking, and otherwise anxiety inducing.Ā the nearest town is a half hour drive. all this for 200 bucks a month.
So I need to get the fuck out of here as soon as I can because yeah this is not only exasperating my mental health issues to dangerous levels but also my physical health is taking a toll, and iāve only been here a few days. I seriously, desperately need to get out of here as soon as humanly possible.
- I live in the NW region of Indiana. I canāt give you specifics because i still dont know the address sorry.Ā
- I do not know how to drive so Iāll either need to arrange some sort of taxi service or youāre going to need to pick me up. i WILL pay for gas.
- i have a large desktop computer. id prefer to have a place for it since its my main lifeline but its fine if i cant plug it in anywhere i understand but its also the only large unwieldy thing im bringing as im getting rid of 90% of my possessions.
- id prefer the place to be reasonably clean but beggers cant be choosers. id also prefer if i know you somewhat but again lol.
If i cant find a place to move within the week im getting rid of everything and moving to a homeless shelter. ty for reading
[Don't think I'm going to be able forgive whoever gave me this bug and the fever that came with it. Guess this is a heads up that I'll be absent/lurking today and possibly tomorrow.]
ā:Your muse falling asleep with their head in my muse's lap. :)
Non-sexual Acts of IntimacyĀ
His first reaction was to jerk his leg away. There was plenty of space elsewhere, but Tobi had just settled his head in his lap, Matthew not too sure why he was doing so. Was he trying to cuddle with him or something? Whatever he was doing, he wasnāt all that thrilled about it, lent back on his arms. A frown crossed his features when Tobi appeared to be trying to sleep, causing him to lean forward a little bit.Ā
This was awkward. He didnāt say anything, hoping that he wasnāt a heavy sleeper as he gave him a sharp shake. Ā
āY-yeah. I got it.ā Alex said, forcing a little conference into his voice as he unlocked the door and peered out into the hall.Ā āWeāve got a bit of a walk, but thereās an emergency exit thatāll get you onto the grounds. After that, youāre on your own. Sorry.ā He knew that if he went outside, he might turn of Mathew.Ā
His body had rarely hurt this bad before and he was having some trouble walking, but what really exhausted him was the fear; he couldnāt fight like this, probably couldnāt run either. If they ran into someone, he was dead.Ā
Hall after hall, blood spattered, decaying rooms seemed to go on forever and it was hard not to stop, wether to rest or clean, but he managed it. Heād be coming back through here anyway, once Mathew was gone. Finally, he knew they were just around the corner.Ā āThat way. Just through there and youāll see the door.ā The janitor said tiredly, pointing.
Yeah. Yeah, alright. He could do that. Though, Matthew wasnāt sure what he had meant by grounds. It was a pretty broad term, but he figured that if this exit at least got him out of this part of the asylum to somewhere safer, if there even was a place, then heād take it.Ā
He just gave the other man a nod in agreement before he followed after Alex, his gaze darting around himself for signs of other patients or people in the hallways with them. It was just bloody rooms and dark hallways, Matthew taking some small form of comfort from that, though never really stopped being on edge.Ā
Matthew paused when Alex stopped, walking ahead slightly to look towards where he was pointing. He could see a door not too far off from him, this supposed exit. He took a glance back towards him, making to say something, a goodbye or a thank you of some sort, but his attention was brought back towards the door when he heard something slam against it, another slam echoing down another hallway as another door broke down, a lanky man stumbling out, pipe in hand, as the exit was slammed open, another patient stumbling into the hallway, this one armed with a makeshift knife.Ā
Matthew froze for a second, realizing just how in the open he was. Momentarily, he wondered if he should just run, but he remembered the condition Alex was in and...well, he kind of owed him.Ā
āWe have to go,ā he said quickly, ducking back behind the wall as the other variants were closing in, not having seen him yet. Not really waiting for much of a reply, Matthew made to grab the other manās forearm as he turned to head back down the hallway they came. A shout cut out once another variant turned the corner, wielding his pipe as he started to charge towards them.Ā
