a place full of totally canon quotes from the game

since you're here, go follow @dearchilde !!

[genshin-incorrect]

Yelan: We must remain calm while we figure out a way to get out of here.

Traveler: Alright, you guys do that. I'm going to go and get some proper rest in a proper location. [Teleports out of The Chasm, leaving everyone behind without a care]

Everyone:

[genshin-incorrect]

Childe: Did you know you stole something from me when we met?

Zhongli: Sorry, I'll return your wallet.

Childe, who was about to say "You stole my heart":

[genshin-incorrect]

Arataki Itto: I wish we could use laughing emojis in real life.

Kuki Shinobu: Or you could just fucking laugh.

[genshin-incorrect]

Venti: What pleases you in bed?

Diluc: Sleep.

[genshin-incorrect]

Paimon: Did you ever have fun in your childhood?

Xiao: Of course I had fun. I ate worms.

Paimon: I– Excuse me?

Xiao: I ate worms. I ate bugs, I ate june bugs, I ate cicadas. Have you ever had ants?

Paimon:

[genshin-incorrect]

Gorou: As a canine, watching myself cutting this cake really made me contemplate my entire existence. Should I die? Is it really worth living if my life is centered around being cake-ified just to bring joy and happiness to peoples' lives? Have I been living a lie? Is this what it has really come to? To be eaten by friends and watch their expressions go from expectation to sheer happiness?

Aether: Can you just cut the cake already? The candles are melting, I'm pretty sure one of us will be eating wax if you don't hurry up.

[genshin-incorrect]

Kaeya: Say “I hate happiness” but without pronouncing the H's.

Diluc: I ate appiness–

Diluc: You're fucking adopted, you really are.

Kaeya:

[genshin-incorrect]

Kaeya: You want some alcohol?

Aether: No thanks, I like my suffering raw.

[genshin-incorrect]

More Irodori Festival Spoilers

Venti: [Talking to the others in relation to the poems they all found]

Kazuha, standing five feet away from the group, visibly panicking: Is that the fucking wind speaking.

[genshin-incorrect]

Slight Irodori Festival Spoilers

Thoma: Why don't you try volunteering? You'll be helping us a lot.

Itto: Eh, doesn't sound too hard-core...

Aether: Sounds to me like you're just scared, you little wimp.

Itto, already barreling towards some other crowd: DO YOU NEED SOME HELP?! I CAN HELP!

[genshin-incorrect]

Albedo: I'm an efficient worker I'll have you know.

Also Albedo: [Gets given a deadline to submit his work the day after tomorrow, proceeds to go have an excursion with some friends that takes hours, sketches the scenery around him instead of starting his project that's due in three hours now] God, it's like they don't give me a flexible time window, these people.

[genshin-incorrect]

Itto: *stubs his toe*

Itto: SHI-

Itto: *sees Klee and Qiqi*

Itto: I mean, FUCK

[genshin-incorrect]

Ayato, after opening a treasure chest: Oh...so, you collect these?

Aether, being held back by the other team members: YOU WOULDN'T UNDERSTAND WHAT US COMMONER HAVE TO GO THROUGH, YOU FILTHY RICH PARASITE!

[genshin-incorrect]

Arataki Itto: Am I going too far?

Kuki Shinobu: No, no, you went too far about 7 hours ago. Now you're going to prison.

[genshin-incorrect]

Paimon, after reuniting with Dainsleif again: Shouldn't you be more excited? What if we see your sister again?

Aether, recalling everything he's been through up until this point: I hope to GOD we actually do because I would dropkick the fuck outta of her the second I see her, Abyss Herald be dammned.

[genshin-incorrect]

[After the Bartending Event]

Diluc: Alright, how much money did you make?

Aether: We were supposed to make money?

Diluc:

Diluc: What the fuck do you mean you were supposed–

[genshin-incorrect]

Dainsleif: I can explain —

Aether/Lumine: I can explain WHY my fist is about to have a date with your face, how DARE YOU SHOW YOUR FACE AFTER WHAT YOU DID LAST TIME?!