Pathologically ironic

Welcome to Harley's school of ironic satire ((m!a deadly insomniac, ends the 22nd))

[humalassa-deactivated20130630]

hello i am roxy and this is my blog here on tumblr dot com welcome welcome id roll out the metapohircal red carpet but nah

[geppettosgift]

Man, really no red carpet? But that's legitimately the best part, how are the paps going to document my triumphant return from wherever the fuck I go all the time without that gnarliest of metaphorical walkways. 

But anyway it's nice to meet you Roxy (weirdly common name there) the names Dirk, master of puppetry, a student in the timeless art of irony and generally the guy that uses way to many words to say pretty much everything. 

[geppettosgift]

((Sorry about the lack of activity, it's been pretty much the same with all of my RP blogs. I've been kind of busy with exams and leaving school and some other stuff but I've finished all of that so hopefully I'll be active again.))

[boozedbubblegum-blog]

srry bb but thats no secret

EVERYONE knos ur anime sorry 2 burst that bubble but damn id kill 2 see those anime eyes

ill find a way to manage winkwinkwink

[geppettosgift]

Hey it's totally a secret, bunnies are legitimately jealous of how adorable I am. All people know is that I like anime, that doesn't make you 20% more kawaii.

I'm not sure you can handle them, like once you've seen them that's all you will see. I'll just be Dirk the guy with the awesome eyes. Man, how much would that suck, to be overshadowed by my own eyes. 

Wow, I never knew you could be so cold Roxy, subjecting me to you seduction technique and then not caring about my male ego. The only way to salvage this situation would be to make you swoon first. 

[geppettosgift]

==>Dirk: Check on your friend

[ectobiologicaltherapist]

Honestly, it was a boring day at home. You didn’t have much to do and it didn’t help that you were just lazing around. With 3 Nic Cage movies already watched and a wizard fanfiction done, you have nothing to do. Which sucked.

Thankfully, when you log onto pesterchum and see your friend Dirk online you smile. Its almost a second later he contacts you, and your thankful he did so at just the right timing.

—-geppettosgift [GG] began pestering ectobiologicalTherpaist [ET]—-

ET: Oh hey dirk!

ET: I know, shocking im on huh? 

ET: hope i didnt give you a heart-attack or anything, that would be awful.

ET: Haha, glad you caught me. You litterally just saved me from dying of boredom.

ET: My hero.

[geppettosgift]

Well it seemed that she hadn't suddenly changed, a fact he was glad of. He encouraged his friends to improve of course, but he liked talking to them because of who they were, and really a startling changed would have cause him to winder about the cause. 

GG: Don't worry, my Kokoro's safe for now.

GG: But be careful with the surprising news OK, heck I'm not sure I could survive something as exciting as you telling me you had watched a N Cage movie

GG: Trust me dude, you cant die of boredom dude.

GG: You can die of the dumb shit you do to relieve said boredom, but you look awesome doing it.

GG: Anyway what do you think of this game that's coming out? I've been meaning to talk to John about it but I haven't seen the guy.

GG: I suppose it doesn't matter since it's not out yet, and you know how the postal system is with me anyway.

[geppettosgift]

thii2 ii2 va2tly iimportant. ii ju2t realiized that the two people ii have 2poken two mo2t are giirl2. ii thiink they're planniing two make me one of them. my liife ii2 iin danger and 2o ii2 my diigniity. 2ebd help. -2iigned, the coole2t dork you know

Dave? Why are you typing with Sollux's quirk? Man they must really have gotten to you. 

Nah but seriously Sol there's nothing wrong with girls, I know they may seem like a mysterious species but really they're no different to you or I. Heck, two of my best friends are girl and they're both rad as fuck. If you want to talk to more guys I'm here for you, our bonds are eternal man. Well judging that you are Sollux, why the fuck are you on anon?

[proscribedhereticism-deactivate]

geppetto'sgift started following you!

[proscribedhereticism-deactivate]

hell yes! :oD

i can be seeing that. myselfing, i prefer melee weapons, sommat about bein up close an personal in a fight just… :oD!! not clubs tho. fuck clubs. human-sized baseball bats is aight tho

 i see brother. (omfg tho. ahahahaha) hell yes it would. tinkerbulls is fuckin adorable as shit. (i want one so baddddd) ehem. anyhows. you cook? fuck brother, we is gotta trade secrets. i like gingersnaps, myself. i mean, sugar cookies is okay an all, but i like a lil pizzaz when i get my cookie crumble on. 

pft. aight then. but i’m a troll. so. technically not. :o)

[geppettosgift]

To be honest man the way i fight they might as well be melee. Whomever said that puppets don't make one hell of an awesome weapon clearly haven't seen the C-man in action. Shit's unreal. I prefer to control a battle, and my guns are pretty adaptable in that way. Not sure I would want to use bats, seems pretty inefficient. If you have to beat a guy to death it gives someone the chance to sneak up on you, plus it's kind of a needlessly harsh way to do things. Although if you like them then I'm not going to judge you for it. 

Yeah, Li'l Cal is actually a pretty shitty guest. I try my best to be a good host but he always ends up flipping a table. Think he's jealous that everyone else gets a rad beard robe combo. I might make him a new costume, a rapping wizard puppet would be wicked as fuck.

I do cook, wouldn't say i'm passionate about it but my friend Jane taught me a thing or two. She's like a ninja in the Kitchen though, shit's crazy. Like I could send you my recipes or whatever but i usually just freestyle it, more interesting results that way. If you ever need to cook a pumpkin I'm your man though.

What is this whole "troll" thing? Is it like some form of otherkin or something? Like hey I'm not knocking it but you guys seem to be everywhere. 

[geppettosgift]

Hey, sorry I haven't been on much. I had to prepare some things, not sure why but if shit needs to be done I'm the man to do it.

[geppettosgift]

((Ok, somethings come up so I've gotta go, I'll respond to stuff in a couple of hours.))

[geppettosgift]

==>Dirk: Check on your friend

Once again Dirk was bored, not an uncommon theme in his life. That didn't mean it was easily combated though. He'd already attempted his usual distractions but none of them held his attention. 

Thankfully he's saved from his boredom the almost obnoxiously loud noise of someone signing onto pesterchum, a quick glance revealed that it's his friend Rose, he smiles when he sees her handle, there is of course no hesitation in pestering her.

—geppettosgift [GG] began pestering ectobiologicalTherapist [ET]—

GG: Rose?

GG: Are my eyes deceiving me or are you online?

GG: I literally just lifted my shades up out of shock. Shit's crazy.

GG: The stars have aligned and the two of us are using this thing at the same time. It's destiny.

GG: So yeah, hi.

[felinefurrisky]

geppettosgift started following you

:33 < hello there who are you? 

[geppettosgift]

Yo.

The names Dirk, artist, rapper, puppet master.

And you are?

[boozedbubblegum-blog]

omg thats adorabs tho

dw ur secrets safe w me

;) ;) ;) ;) ;) see if u can stop me

i willl never doubt u again<span i promses *promise

[geppettosgift]

That's my secret Roxy, I'm actually Kawai as fuck, there's a reason why I wear shades, I couldn't inflict these anime eyes on the world. All of the kokoros would release a unified doki the likes of which the world have never known. It'll be known as the vast doki. 

If you keep that up I'm going to start swooning. Do you really think you can deal with being the girl whom made me swoon?

Thank you, I pride myself on the fact that it's impossible to doubt me, that doesn't work if random strangers don't instantly see me as a respectable figures. 

[theworldsminion]

Drew the Dirk that I rp in this au

[geppettosgift]

Deadly Insomniac: 10 days.

10? Fuck OK. I probably shouldn’t have said anything

[geppettosgift]

Deadly Insomniac: 48 hours

48 hours? I could do that standing on my head.

[clockworkstrides]

our story will be passed down through the ages and someday theyll build a friendship monument on strilonde harleybert peak (which is of course what theyll rename the peak we strifed on) and itll be styalized after us

and ill have cool hair and youll have a perfectly chiseled jaw and people will travel for miles and miles just to lay witness on the place that they declare is The Spot the very spot where you and i once began the true quest of friendpalness

wait which one of us is playing to who i forgot

[geppettosgift]

Eventually Disney will make a movie, it'll be in hundreds of years, like they won't even know if it's fact any more. Well anyway the movie will be a shitty representation of what happened. It's Disney though so we all know it'd going to be sweet though.

Disney will buy rights to the spot too, build a theme park, it'll be awesome but ruin the beauty of the spot. People won't go there to learn about the secret of being bros, it'll be all about that theme park. The only think which will remain the same is an overshadowed statue and the name strilonde harleybert land.

We're playing with each other man, it's a mutual thing.

[proscribedhereticism-deactivate]

geppetto'sgift started following you!

[proscribedhereticism-deactivate]

pft. sorry. i get a lil cited with metaphors sometides. 

ahhhh aight aight aight. yeah. she was a cool chica, meaning i ain’t talk to her much, but she were pretty righteous. good motherfuckin shot with she rifle. 

yeah probably. 

the one i knew were. but damn him for takin the cookie. lil fucker. hell yes, army a tinkerbulls or sommat. lotsa hugs and fairydust’d be the shit. ,

…’s not cannibalism. mostly. :0) 

[geppettosgift]

Hey, it's cool man. Metaphors are exciting, you've got to love a long winded comparison.

Huh, my grandmother was too, I prefer pistols. Less of a pain in the ass to lug around. More practical too, being able to use both hands.

I wasn't being serious dude, the C man never accepts when I offer. Makes  our tea parties pretty awkward. A personal army of tinkerbulls(?) would solve that though, could share all those cookies I made. It's kind of disheartening when no one wants them, I slaved over those things man, added a little vanilla.

Dude wanting to eat another guy is cannibalism, even if I would be damn tastey.

[geppettosgift]

M!As

Deadly Insomniac: Your muse is unable to sleep for a specified amount of time regardless of how many attempts they make, becoming extremely tired, weak and dangerously volatile.

Childlike Innocence: Muse is mysteriously transformed into their small childhood form for a specified amount of time, accompanied with all the usual juvenile behaviours.

Personality Swap: Muse's usual personality is suddenly switched with another's for a specified amount of time, causing them to act like that person perfectly. Anon decides who.

Cross-dresser: Muse becomes a cross dresser for a specified amount of time, dressing up as the opposite sex.

Animal Suits!: Anon chooses an animal Muse must dress up as for a specified amount of time, imitating it's behaviour and characteristic traits.

Charmingly Flirtatious: Muse becomes a dazzling romantic for a specified amount of time, flirting with everyone regardless of gender, current relationship or sexual preferences.

Deliriously Drunk: Muse becomes excessively drunk for a specified amount of time, acting oddly and hallucinating occasionally. Muse may react to drunkenness however they please.

Shape Shifter: Anon decides what form Muse changes into, whether it be an animal, person, or even an object.

Player: Muse attempts to get in bed with everyone for a specified amount of time.

Lost: Muse becomes hopelessly lost, loosing all sense of direction they previously had.

Sex Change: Muse turns into the opposite sex for a specified amount of time.

Habitually Violent: Muse becomes extremely violent and will attempt to pick fights with anyone they talk to.

Leather Panties and Stockings: Muse is forced to dress up in a very sexual manner for a specified amount of time, becoming extremely horny as a result.

Crossover: Muse becomes part of another fandom for a specified amount of time. Anon decides what.

Sweet Lips: Muse will give a kiss to anyone who utters the words 'sweet lips'. Can be via ask, replies or rebloging.

Docilely Submissive: Muse becomes an adorable little uke for a specified amount of time, as obedient as a dog and as playful as a kitten. Anon may choose who for.

Aggressively Dominant: Muse becomes a sadistic seme for a specified amount of time. Anon may choose who for.

Amnesia: Muse forgets everything about themselves, from their name to what they ate for breakfast.

OOC: Muse becomes seriously out of character for a specified amount of time.

Delusions of Grandeur: Muse starts to believe they are better than everyone, becomes the most important person in their universe and has a false sense of confidence, bragging about everything.

Of Love and Stuffing: Muse starts carrying around a plushy, becoming extremely attached to it. Anon may specify what, or else it is Muse's most loved person, thing, or animal.