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[jeunefillevulgaire-deactivated2]

Things that real life sex has taught me that isn't in porn :

Shaking during sex, no no, not her legs, him. Yeah. It happens to men too, from anticipation and excitement. I only had one partner who used to have that sometimes and the first time it freaked me out lol.

Queefing, that has to happen at least once during sex, I mean, air goes in, sorry but it's gonna have to come out.

Going too deep actually hurts, oh my fucking god lol. IYKYK. Hitting the cervix feels like ... hmmm. Dying. Yeah, death. Like I felt your penis in my actual guts and now I need to throw up because the cramping is horrendous. Thanks, don't do that again. Does the chick in porn not have a cervix or??? I have literally thrown up from this before, it is the most painful thing I have ever experienced during sex, hands down.

That he might lose his boner mid-sex, this one's a big one lol pun intended. And uh, it might not be your fault. Actually most of the time it isn't. And guys, if it does happen, please communicate, it's really not a big deal, at least not for me, Im down to help, and also I can feel it getting softer okay lol don't be lying.

Sometimes it can be painful for the guy too, this one's more common for men who have foreskin, at least in my experience.

That you can get your period mid-sex, oh man. A sad moment for all of us. But here's the thing, when you're orgasming, everything contracts, and your uterus will contract and unfortunately if you were expecting it, welp, here it is. So yeah, it happens. But that's pretty great, personally i'm able to make my period come faster by masturbating over and over, true story (only if its a day or two away).

You can probably orgasm but it's not a given, or taking way longer than you thought. I have ridden dick like my life depended on it because I was felt it annnnnnnnnd it was gone, annnnnd it's back, noooope it's gone.

Related to the last point, looking cute when orgasming, sweetie listen, I look like I ran a marathon and like Im about to die (plus im a smoker, imagine that). So that lady in porn who's like *cute voice* oohh I'm coming! ... idk about you but I don't look cute when im about to cum super hard lol.

Stopping mid-sex because you don't feel like it anymore.

Sometimes it takes forever to get a condom or to put it on, relax dude, no one's judging you, I would rather you don't give me an std or a baby so take your time.

There's no shame in asking to put a towel down, fluids, we have those, and we have a lot of those, and sometimes, some of us can unexpectedly squirt, whatever tf that fluid is, it's gonna go everywhere.

That female lubrication can have a different color/texture depending on where she's at in her cycle/if she has an infection.

Sex is smelly.

A lot of us moan louder than we actually want to, to help you out. I have done that before, when bored or when the guy was doing something I didn't really enjoy but he did. Whatever, hey at least I've never faked an orgasm, Im literally not giving you that lol if you suck, you suck sorry. Now ... the reason you prob shouldn't do that is that he's gonna think he's doing something good, when really he isn't. Then he's gonna have sex with someone else, and do the same shit, and she's also not gonna cum. Don't be the reason another lady can't have an orgasm ok.

That trying different positions isn't super glamorous. Some hurt, some don't feel like anything, some are awkward. Just because your bestie swears by reverse cowgirl, doesn't mean it'll work for you.

That it's ok to stop and take a water and snack break, sorry one sec, Im hypoglycemic.

That a lot of the time when you get fucked hard enough, you're shifting, like, quite a bit, and next thing you know you're almost falling off the bed, it's not cute, who cares.

That sex can be awkward, uncomfortable, painful, not enjoyable, and that all of that is normal.

[bogri]

Mum feet worship

[bogri]

Mum feet 2

[devilsqueen22]

[cuckold306]

The beauty of this position is you can also clean the bulls cock as soon as he pulls out.

[baddiesdaily]

[flrindia]

How to serve your wife and make her feel more Dominant?

Again, one of those frustrating things that everyone should talk about but nobody is because online FLR space predominantly comprises of men. If you were to Google – ‘How to make your wife more Dominant’, the majority of the search suggestions would say -

‘I want my wife to dominate me.’

‘How can I make my wife dominate me in bed?’

‘How to convert your wife into DOMINATRIX’

And so on…

These suggestions are clearly male-centric and cannot give lesser shit about what women actually want. How is this actually making your wife more dominant?

One thing to note is that these are all male-centric articles. They will have stuff like Chastity, Spanking, Handcuffs, Pegging, Spitting, Golden Shower, Denial etc.

You need to understand that Women function differently and these suggestions will freak them out.

Your wife would not be willing to become a part of any of the kinky activities unless she is feeling dominant. Men take the opposite of the ideal approach. They think that kinks will make her feel dominant hence they should start with kinks. NO!

Once she feels dominant, kinks will come into the picture automatically. Once she is happy with your service, she will want to reward you or play with you. Dominance and submission are far more mental than physical. A man can go and ask his wife for a spanking but unless she puts him in a submissive headspace, spanking would serve no other purpose than just a wooden paddle hitting his butt.

Now, the question is, how can you MAKE YOUR WIFE FEEL MORE DOMINANT in an FLR?

Before I tell you some things, the first thing you can do is to ask her simply. Just as you tell her to do the things that make you more submissive, ask her what will make her feel more Dominant. Every Woman is different and they will have different things that will put them in a Dom headspace. Make sure that you are carefully listening to what she says and then apply that feedback in your behaviour with the sole purpose of making her feel more Dominant, not because you expect kinks in return.

A few suggestions that I can make here are as below. These are generic suggestions and might not be applicable to every woman. “To ask her” approach is the best way to do it.

Immediate obedience –

Whenever she orders something, try to execute it as soon as practically possible. If she asks to change the sheets, or to do the dishes, or to place an order online, just do them. These are the things that a man easily procrastinates because they aren’t as important in his opinion but immediate obedience for such things will make your submission more evident. She would realize that you are attentive to her orders and she can delegate small menial tasks and those would be completed instantly.

Immediate obedience displays your enthusiasm and zeal to serve. It can do wonders for a dom’s headspace.

Be available for her –

I love it when my slave responds to my messages and phone calls instantly. I love it when he comes running to me whenever I call him. What is the purpose of having a slave if he isn’t available to serve you, right?

Again, I do want to add that one should approach this point practically. For example, I do not expect him to respond to my texts when he is driving. I do not expect immediate responses when he is in his office. I know that as soon as he is free, the first thing he will do is to reply me. I know that he is available for me.

Quality work –

Do not do the tasks just for the sake of doing them but do them with utmost excitement and quality. Do them because you have always dreamt of living this submissive life. You have dreamt of serving your wife and being her servant, so do the work enthusiastically and obediently while ensuring quality.

If your wife can be assured that you are going to do quality work, she will feel more comfortable assigning those tasks going forward. She will also feel good to have a slave skillful enough to manage the delegated task. She will automatically delegate more tasks, which converts to more Domination.

Small gestures –

Small Gestures go a long way. You should be a total gentleman, hence, pull her chairs, open doors for her, carry her bags, etc, and additionally, you should be a great slave. Gestures like kissing her feet, or cleaning her heels, tying her shoelace, making the bed or prioritizing her schedule over yours are going to boost her Dominance. There are many overlapping areas between being a slave and being a gentleman and you should aim to be both if you are looking for a female led relationship.

Cute messages –

In addition to the above point, you can send her quick snaps, videos or texts reminding her that she’s your Dom and you are her slave. For example, if she is out and you are horny, you can send your picture saying ‘Love staying denied by my Goddess’. This will remind her that she is in charge, this will show her that you are thinking of her and this will make her feel desired. A small cute reminder every once in a while does great.

Focussing on her –

Divert your efforts from other things and direct them towards her. Make her feel prioritized. Go to the restaurants that she prefers, watch movies that she wishes, and dates that she would like. Make her feel like a Queen. Always be willing to take the extra step to make her feel prioritized.

Obviously, do not completely neglect yourself as it won’t last for long. The idea is to put her first. Once she would see it, she would herself want to be put first as it makes her feel fulfilled. It would make you feel fulfilled too because seeing your Goddess happy will make you happy.

Sexual submission –

This is what every man wants, right? But as you would have realized till now, it isn’t the only ingredient to make her feel Dominant. Sexually submitting means letting her take the charge in bed. Do what pleases her in bed.

One difficult thing for men to understand is that she can be submissive in bed while dominant in the relationship and men find it difficult to comply in such situations. Remember, your focus is to fulfill her needs and wants and to keep her satisfied. Always try to pleasure her and ask her if you are able to satisfy her. Ask for feedback on what can be improved. Learn her ways. Master your Mistress!

Regarding your submissive fantasies in bed, share them with her. Tell her how important they are to you and then let her decide.

Pay attention and communicate –

Make her feel heard. Listen to her carefully and remember small details about her. Also, keep communication clear. Mistress Alisa says “Say what you mean and mean what you say”. This is a great principle. Communicate honestly and be an open book to her. Be vulnerable to her. Once she understands you inside out, she can easily shape you and mold you in the way she wants.

Flirt in a submissive way –

Never fail to pass flirty comments about you being submissive and her being Dominant. She is the only Dominant woman in your life (I guess) so do not miss any opportunity to flirt with her and remind her of her status in your relationship. I love it when my slave flirts with me as a submissive.

So here we are, I know it was a little long read but if you have read till now, you seriously want your wife to feel more Dominant. Just focus on keeping her happy and lay a strong foundation for FLR, rest will just flow.

Happy serving :)

[girlw-amermaidtattoo-deactivate]

15 HOTWIFE AND CUCKOLDING CHALLENGES

I’ve put these challenges in order of ‘difficulty’. The list starts with fairly simple scenarios (for the newly initiated) and progresses to harder, deeper cuckolding play scenes. But you can start with any challenge and complete them in whatever order you like.

Explore them at your own pace. And remember: Enjoying this fantasy doesn’t necessarily mean inviting another person into the bedroom.

CHALLENGE #1: THE HOTTIES YOU’D LOVE TO HANDLE

Hotwife, your mission is to compile a list of fantasy fucks (famous people and/or people you know IRL), and then text or email them to your chastity cuck. If you can, include images so your partner can imagine you with them.

CHALLENGE #2: EXHIBIT OHH

Encourage others to look on with admiration at your hotwife donning a skimpier-than-usual bikini to the beach, or a revealing outfit next time you go for lunch or dinner.

Enjoy the feeling of being an exhibitionist, hotwife? How about answering the door in nothing more than a robe or towel? Just be mindful of who’s at the door when you answer it. Your state of undress may not be a pleasant surprise to them. (Remember: They’re not a knowingly consensual party to your games.)

CHALLENGE #3: LOOK BUT DON’T TOUCH

Hotwife, have your cuck sit and watch you get yourself off with your favorite sex toy. They’re not allowed to touch you as you play, and to make it even harder they’re not allowed to touch themselves. For Femdoms, this challenge is especially satisfying when your partner is locked in his male chastity cage.

CHALLENGE #4: WHAT’S YOUR NAME AGAIN?

Probe feelings of humiliation and inadequacy by refusing to get your cuck’s name right during sex. Depending on your pre-agreed boundaries, you may ‘accidentally’ call him by his mate’s name, or shout out the name of his boss as you climax. If naming people you know is too close to home, use some of the famous names on your list from the first challenge.

CHALLENGE #5: I SPY SOMEONE I’D LIKE TO SHAG

Let your partner know when you see someone you think is sexy. So what if you’re out on an intimate date? If you spy someone you’d like to be with, or you’d like to see your wife with, tell them. Explain why you find them hot so you each get a feel for what you find attractive in others.

CHALLENGE #6: SHARE A CUCKOLDING BEDTIME STORY

Write out your ultimate cuckolding fantasy, and read it to your partner at bedtime. If you’re not a writer, or you’re stuck for inspiration, you might enjoy retelling one of the many cuckolding stories by Girl On The Net.

CHALLENGE #7: SIMULATE A THREESOME OR MORESOME

Stock up on realistic sex toys—dildos, masturbators, oral sex simulators, even a sex doll—and use them as your bull (or bulls). Having extra toys to play with lets you explore different positions and sensations, such as double penetration.

If your chastity cuck is male, they may feel more comfortable exploring any bisexual tendencies they’re feeling with a realistic dildo or anal-shaped masturbator rather than diving straight into bed with another guy.

CHALLENGE #8: TIPS FROM PARTNERS PAST

Listen up, cuck. Your hotwife is going to tell you about the time another lover gave her amazing orgasms and had sex so good she’s never forgotten it. All while jerking you off.

CHALLENGE #9: SHAMELESS FLIRTING

There are two ways to approach this challenge.

The first is for the hotwife to flirt with someone while the cuck watches from a distance. She can do it somewhere physical, such as in a bar or nightclub. Or she could be text flirting with someone.

The second approach is IRL only, and involves both of you flirting with someone you desire. But only the hotwife gets to enjoy anything physical from this encounter (strokes of the leg or arm, a hug, a kiss, or more).

CHALLENGE #10: A KISS FROM ANOTHER

Some people find kissing extremely intimate, and keep it as a sacred sign of affection between them and their partner. But if you don’t feel this way, here’s where you can crank the cuckolding fantasy up a notch. Passionately kiss someone other than your chastity cuck. The cuck may or may not be present. If they’re not around, tell them about your kissing affair during your next intimate moment.

CHALLENGE #11: BACK IN THE DATING GAME

If you’ve been together for a long time, then going on a date with someone new may feel both nerve-wracking and extremely exciting. I mean, dating has changed a lot in recent years. (Thanks, Tinder et al.)

Approach this challenge together. Look on dating and hookup sites for an ideal match. If possible, be upfront about not wanting anything long-term. (We’re not here to mess with other people’s emotions.) Tell them you just want a change of scenery for an evening, or a short-term, non-committed arrangement.

Hotwife, go on the date alone. It doesn’t necessarily have to end in sex. But don’t spare your cuck any of the details when it comes to how you felt being in a romantic situation with someone other than them.

CHALLENGE #12: I CAM, I SAW, I CLIMAXED

Hotwife, log onto a cam site and engage in some online sex. Depending on the rules you’ve set, you can let your cuck watch you. If you do let them, tease them with a glimpse of who you’re playing with online. Prefer some alone time? Channel your inner Femdom and banish them from the room until you’ve finished.

CHALLENGE #13: GET INTO THE SWING OF THINGS

Taking your cuckold fetish play out of the privacy of the bedroom and into a club is a big step. (It’s why this challenge appears so far down the list.) But going to a swingers event or sex club is a great way to meet like-minded people and explore the fetish further. So find an event in your area you like the sound of and head out to play.

CHALLENGE #14: FIND A REGULAR BULL

Get into a regular arrangement with a bull, and start to explore cuckolding with or without your long-term cuck in attendance.

CHALLENGE #15: FROM CUCK TO CUCKEE

A final challenge, with a twist that encourages you to explore the role of the other person. In this hotwife dare, the wife becomes the cuckquean, and the bull dominates the sissy cuck. To turn them into the perfect toy for your bull (and to remind them of their subservience and humiliation in all of this) fit the Fufu Chastity Training Clip to their so-called manhood.

AT THE END OF EACH CHALLENGE

Once the play has ended, spend time with your partner discussing what you thought and felt about the dare or challenge you just completed. Aftercare can be an important and very useful part of fetish and BDSM play for most couples. It’s a simple way to keep the lines of communication open as you get deeper into exploring your sexual turn-ons.

WHICH CUCKOLD CHALLENGE WILL YOU START WITH?

These dares and challenges are designed to inspire you, and give you simple ways to start to explore the cuckolding fetish if you and your partner are new to it. Share which challenge you plan on starting with. And if you have some imaginative ideas of your own, my discord server would love to hear them 😉

[slutwifeworldtrainer]

THE FLASHING GAME

Today we will talk about another subject men into slutwives fantasize about, flashing. For today’s purposes, we will define flashing as the wife exposing something that society would normally expect to remain private. We will cover a few examples on the topic and finish by talking about some good ways of getting the wife to flash.

1. Boob Flash - The boob flash is perhaps the most famous and easy to associate type of flashing. From Girls Gone Wild videos, spring break, Mardi Gras, Wet T shirt contest, etc, flashing and boobs just go really well together. The levels of boob flash can vary. A girl may do a boob flash by only showing her bra, lifting her boobs, exposing her bare breasts, or in some cases, by wearing a tight shirt without a bra and getting it wet.

2. Panty Flash - The panty flash is when the girl exposes her panty/thong. With girls in panties all around us, from victorias secret to porn, there is still something exotic about catching even a glimpse of a woman’s panties, it is like a window into something forbidden. There is an entire fetish revolving around women’s panties. As with the boob flash, the panty flash has various levels. See-through clothing, shorts too short, skirts too short, girl leaning with a short skirt, girl squatting with the panties rising above the jeans, a girl opening her legs with a skirt on, to a girl actually lifting her skirt up to show off her panties.

3. The Butt Flash - This flash is when a girl exposes her bare butt. Again, there are different levels. A girl can wear a thong bikini and expose and constant butt flash, or lift her skirt to show her butt in a thong, or without, or bend over and spread her butt cheeks, or pull down her pants to show her butt, or wear a micro skirt/shorts that dont cover her butt, see-through clothing. You get the idea.

4. The Pussy Flash - A trend growing in popularity as more women enjoy going pantyless, the pussy flash involves a girl exposing her pussy. Again, there are varies levels to this, from camel toe clothing to a girl opening up her legs to show her bare pussy under a skirt, the pussy flash is seen as one of the most overt ways of a girl showing how available she is.

Those are the most popular types of flashing that a slutwife should use and that we will cover. With that out of the way, let’s cover a few suggestions to get your wife to be more open to flash.

1. Tell Her - As with other things, you need to tell her that you are into it and would like to see her do it. Most women will naturally fear that flashing would cause problems with their partner, so don’t assume there is a good way around telling her.

2. Start Privately - Same as with getting her to dress slutty (see previous post) it is a lot easier to go from the inside out. Start in the privacy of your bedroom, ask her to flash you with her best asset eg. boobs or butt. Then build up to the living room, the kitchen, the hallway, dominate the house and make her flashing you a normal part of your life all throughout the house. Disclaimer, do not get annoying with this, do it as much as it remains fun for the both of you, and follow up with how sexy she looks and how much it turns you on. The best way to balance this is to do this randomly when she is not tired or annoyed about something. If she is well dressed, looking sexy, and in a good mood, that is a good time. Be casual about it. Once she is pretty comfortable flashing you inside the house, take her to the backyard at night. You can then move on to having her flash you inside the car at night. Then an empty parking lot at night, at an empty park at night. At an empty store at night. Etc, you get the point, then repeat the entire process in daytime.

3. Start Small - Remember how we talked about levels, use them to start small and build up. This applies specially when in public places with the possibility of other people being around. Do not expect her to go running around nude all over the mall in broad daylight. Not only is it unlikely she would, it would very likely get her arrested if she did. So start with quick flashes. Like a one second panty flash at the park. Or a quick glimpse of her boobs in a restaurant. As she becomes more comfortable with these quick public flashes, you can start asking for longer flashes and more overt.

4. The Right Environment/Mood - She will likely not flash you with a park full of kids running around her or after walking away from a funeral. Flashing done right is all about timing the right environment and mood. So put her in the right environment and mood to flash. As with anything, treat her right and make her happy. Vacations to other cities, beaches, or places outside the norm will boost her mood and make her more open to pleasing you.

5. The Next Level - This would not be complete without getting her to flash others. This is something that will usually take some building up to, but well worth it. Once again, start small. An “accidental” panty flash to a stranger in another city is much easier to digest than flashing her pussy at the family gathering. So start with focusing on a small one second “accidental” panty flash to a stranger in another city. Then maybe a slightly longer panty flash at a bar full of guys. Then maybe her boobs pops out of her top in a beach full of people. Then she can expose her bare butt or boobs to a truck driver as you pass by (be safe). You get the idea, given enough time to build up, she will become more open to flashing strange men, which is what we want.

Flashing is a great way to build up the wife’s confidence as well as getting her more comfortable with slutty behaviors. As she does more of this, she begins to recognize her identity as a woman who does slutty things, thus opening up doors to other things. She will also become more confortable being sexualized by men and relate her slutty behavior to having fun. Done the right way, she will become very comfortable and excited about being completely nude for a room full of men that want to fuck her, and that is our goal.

I appreciate your likes, reblogs, and comments. Let me know if you have any other points on flashing you feel were left out.

[ladylocksluv]

50 Ways to Lead Your Luvr

For the new Dommes out there who just don’t know where to start, or have trouble thinking of ways to project dominance, here are some fairly tame ideas you can use to get things going, and have him submit to you. As the Domme, you set the pace, so take your time and keep it fun.

Start out with a few that you like and see how he responds to them. When you feel comfortable proceeding, add others and come up with your own ideas. If you really enjoy any of them and want them to continue, make it into  a rule.

1. Order him to massage your feet with foot lotion, anytime you please.

2. You decide when it’s time for him to get a haircut. He never gets one without your permission.

3. Whenever going out together, you decide who drives.

4. Sneak up to him randomly and slip a blindfold, or a hood on him. It stays on until you remove it.

5. As your sub, he should be pleasing to the eye. Any clothing he wears must be approved by you. Make him give to charity anything that you don’t approve of or cut them up into dust rags.

6. Protect him from any critisism from others. As his domme, only you are allowed to critisize him.

7. Randomly order him to stay in his pyjamas for the entire day. Everybody likes to stay in their pyjamas all day once in a while when nothing’s going on but it’s a little different if your are forbidden to get dressed. Make him your pyjama boy for a day.

8. Teach him that you value his input when making decisions, but final decisions are yours to make, alone.

9. He is to greet you at the door everytime you come home to him. Anything you purchased, he will fetch from the vehicle. You only carry your purse into the house, or make him carry it in as well.

10. Make it a habit to grab a handfull of his hair and gently tug it whenever you kiss him.

11. Teach him to always communicate with you in a submissive manner. He never interrupts you whenever you speak. However, you may interrupt him anytime you please, and he must be quiet instantly and listen whenever you do. Never allow him to use sarcasm, ever. He follows all conversation and never tries to change the subject. He never raises his voice at you for any reason. Keep a ballgag handy to punish any improper communication.

12. Have him go down on you, anytime, anywhere you please.

13. Create a no standing rule for urination in your home. If at any time you decide that a toilet isn’t clean enough for your standards, he must scrub it immediately, anytime day or night.

14. Whenever he enters your vehicle, he needs your permission to exit it. He doesn’t ask. If you leave the vehicle he just sits and waits unless you tell him “come along dear’ or something similar.

15. Randomly order him to get naked immediately, and he will need your permission to get dressed again.

16. Are there any words that annoy you? Tell him to never use that word, ever again. Make him keep a list of them and anytime you hear him say a word you don’t like, make him add it to the list. You can make him choose another word to replace it, or you can insist he uses a specific word.

17. Only you may initiate mouth kissing. If he wants to kiss you, make him kiss your hand, or foot. You decide if it leads to mouth kissing.

18. As his Domme, you deserve to have his complete undivided attention, so make him keep his eyes on you whenever you speak. If he looks away, stop what you are saying, grab his chin and turn his face back towards yourself and say “EYES ON ME WHEN I’M SPEAKING” in a firm but gentle voice, and pick up the discussion where you left off.  

If you ever feel he hasn’t been listening properly, make him repeat back to you what was said, and if he gets it wrong, make him stand with his nose in the corner to punish him. If he won’t give you his undivided attention, you shouldn’t give him any attention. This will teach him to respect you, as a proper sub never only half listens to his Domme.

19. Have him sit at your feet often. If he wants to sit beside you on the sofa, he should ask your permission. You decide if he sits beside you or at your feet.

20. When you want to do something dominant to him but can’t think of anything, just grab a chain and two padlocks and chain him to something, give him a passionate kiss, and walk away without saying a word. Ignore him (unless he is in distress) while you do whatever you want. He will feel very owned and controlled.

21. Expect him to come to you immediately when called. He shouldn’t run, but he should show a sense of urgency when approaching you. Only accept excuses if he was doing something time sensitive, for example, if he was making supper, and the food would be overcooked if he came to you immediately.

22. Use his hand as a leash in public. When you hold his hand to lead him around, he isn’t allowed to let go of your hand. If you lead him up to an object and put his hand on it, he is parked in place and isn’t allowed to let go of that object until you come back, grab his hand, and lead him away. Leading him around by the hand in public is a very subtle way to display your dominance without anybody realizing it.

23. Teach him to ask permission to be excused and explain why anytime he wants to leave your presence. Occasionally refuse permission.

24. Be physically forceful. Grab him by the throat and force him against the wall in a passionate kiss. Grab a handful of hair and pull him to where you want him. Grab his earlobe and drag him down to a kneeling position at your feet.  Come up with your own ways to physically dominate him..

25. With the exception of gas, food, and gifts for you, any buying or selling will require your approval.

26. One of a submissive males greatest traits is the ability to wait patiently. Teach him by making him wait for you in various circumstances. Also teach him that keeping you waiting without a very good reason is unacceptable and punishable.

27. Write your signature on his shoulder blade or buttocks with an indelible marker. The more you train him, the more he becomes your work of art, so sign him like a painting.

28. Whether as a punishment or randomly, make him get down on the floor and give you 20 pushups.

29. Randomly lock his wrists behind his back while he is relaxing around the house. Tell him that his hands are tools to serve you, and if he isn’t using them for that purpose, they should be put away. Padded leather ones are best, especially if you plan to keep him in them for a while. Fistmitts make a great alternative and are more comfortable.

30. Teach him to do specific things(eg. housework), exactly the way you want it done, so that you can command him to do it anytime in the future. Your way is always the correct way, even if it’s not the most efficient way.

31. Whenever you plan to purchase something, have him research the best brands for price, reliability, quality, and features, giving you a list of the best top 5 to purchase. Have him give a short presentation while kneeling before you on what he’s learned.

32. Bend him over your lap and spank him whenever you like. You don’t have to hurt him. Just the act of being put over your lap will humble him, and make you feel powerful.

33. Teach him a command, or hand gesture, or both to silence him instantly. Teach him another one that lets him speak again.

34. Never allow him to eat his favorite treat (eg. chocolate) unless it comes directly from your hand. Tell him if he wants it bad enough, he may beg for it and you’ll give it to him, most times.

35. Random buttplugging. Whenever he is at home you can randomly approach him with a prelubed buttplug, and he has to bend over immediately to accept it. He’s not allowed to remove it himself.

36. Forbid him to ever say “I” or “me” when referring to himself while speaking to you in private.

37. Randomly, gently slap his face once in a while just to remind him who’s in charge. A gentle backhand is all that’s needed. It shouldn’t hurt, just humble him. Have him kiss the hand that slaps him to display his submission.

38. Make him ask permission before having an orgasm.

39. Make him ask permission before leaving home. If you aren’t home when he wants to leave, he must text you for permission. If you live apart, this applies to leaving his home as well as yours.

40. Maintenance Tickling. They say laughter is the best medicine, so medicate him with a tickle session occasionally. Tie him in place so that he is totally helpless and under your complete control. Start tickling. Your task is to keep him smiling, laughing or giggling for at least half an hour. Give him breaks between short tickling sessions, but he has to keep a smile on his face.

41. Paint his toenails. You can make him do it himself, but I guarantee it will have more of an impact on him if you grab his feet, remove his socks, and paint them yourself. After you’re done, tell him how pretty his toes are now and tell him you like the new look you have picked for him and if he removes it, he will be sorry. Make him walk around the house barefoot and show them off to you.

By doing this, you are asserting the right to control his body. It will give you a feeling of power everytime you see his painted toes, because you made it happen, and make it continue to happen. He in turn will feel submissive, because he knows you are in control of his body, moreso than him.

42. Instant Puppy. Pick a command word and a counter command word for this. Whenever you say the command word, he has to go silent immediately and get down on his hands and knees. Until you say the counter command word, he has to remain silent and keep one hand touching the floor or the ground at all times.

43. If he sleeps in your bed, he has to be chained to it. Ankle chain to the bedframe is best.

44. Control his alcohol intake. Every drink containing alcohol he consumes will have consequences. For instance, a half hour of cornertime or bent over your lap and 5 swats on the butt per drink consumed.

45. Step on his head with one foot pressing it to the floor while forcing the toes of your other foot into his mouth.

46. Lock something on his body that he can’t remove himself. It can be a collar, wristcuffs, an anklet, or just wrap a chain around his waist and padlock it there. I bought 2 ‘ring of steel’ types cuffs off of the internet and like to lock both of them on one of his wrists. The sound and feel of them rattling together as he does things around home are a constant reminder that someone else has more control over his body than he does.

47. If he doesn’t eat enough vegetables, make him eat one meal a week containing only cut up vegetables, from a bowl on the floor, without using his hands.

48. Have him suckle your breasts anytime and for as long as you wish. It feels great, and is a lovely way to bond with him.

49. Electronic leash. Use tracking software on his phone so that you know exactly where he is at all times. To ensure his phone is with him all the time, Set your own phone up to send scheduled texts that he must answer within 10 minutes.

50. Occasionally when you leave home by yourself, chain his ankles so that the whole time you are gone, he can only take slow, small steps. It will make him feel your control even when you aren’t home with him.

[myhappyhusband]

Poor Hubby gets Teased by my Sister

I think I’ve created a monster by introducing our FLR lifestyle to my sister Linda. To give you a little background about my sister’s relationship with hubby. Years ago - long before the relationship I now have with my hubby evolved to where it is today my hubby used to jokingly tease my sister about this and that and a couple times, usually after a drink or two he even teased her about the size of her breasts. Back then I laughed it all off as nothing more than light hearted, flirtatious little joking and never gave it much thought but apparently it really irritated my sister quite a bit and she never forgot it.

Today the tables have turned and now my big strong hubby is locked in a tight custom made stainless steel chastity cage with a PA piercing and does everything I say. I recently introduced my sister to our lifestyle and gave her the same control over my hubby that I enjoy and now she has the upper hand on him. Apparently ever since she realized this new found power over my hubby she has been secretly plotting revenge by teasing him with those same little breasts he used to tease her about. She started to tease my hubby and say to him she’d love to make him beg to see her tits and he would insist there was no way he would ever beg to see her little titties, he insisted they didn’t excite him or turn him on. She’d laugh and say just give me a change and I’ll make you beg for them. They had this little spat between them and I would just laugh not thinking anything of it.

Yesterday I had to run some errands so I invited her over to “babysit” hubby while I was gone, I figured she might enjoy his tongue for a while in private while I was out of the house. When she arrived she brought up the idea of getting hubby to beg to see her little titties again and he insisted it would never happen so she said let me tie you up and I’ll prove it to you. He was so insistent that he agreed. I tried to get him to stop this immature bickering but he defiantly said to let him do it, that he wanted to prove to Linda she was wrong. As I was getting ready to walk out the door I saw she had him laying down on our large dining room table and was tying his arms and legs spread eagle tightly to the legs of the table. Once more I asked him if he was sure he wanted to do this and he said “Yes, absolutely!” so I turned and walked out the door.

I was away for about three and half hours by the time I returned home. I decided to sneak in not wanting to disturb my sister’s “private time” with hubby. Instead of finding him with his head buried between her legs as I expected I was a bit shocked to find him blindfolded and still tied spread eagle on our dining room table. My hubby’s cock was rock hard, throbbing and bobbing helplessly in the air while my sister just sat in the chair between his legs with a smirk on her face looking at his cock bouncing in the air with a continuous stream of pre-cum pouring out of it.

She was lightly running her soft fingertips up and down his inner thighs, around his swollen blue balls and occasionally brushing the sensitive underside of his cock causing my hubby to gasp with need. I was amazed that my hubby was apparently so lost in his haze of lust he didn’t even hear me enter. I was totally shocked when he started to beg in a low whisper “please Mistress Linda, pleaassseee, please, please oh pleaaassseee, please let me cum please I can’t stand it anymore pleaaasssseee, oh my god please, I’m begging you, please…!!!”

Seeing his reaction made me think about the last time I actually let hubby have a release. I remembered he had only two ruined messes over the past three months, the last one being about a month ago so I think it was safe to say he has been very horny even before Linda started her little teasing session with him. Now after three and a half hours it was easy to see he was suffering for a good cum and maybe as horny as he’s ever been in his life.

Each time Linda brushed her soft fingers around the base of his dripping cock he made little gurgling sounds in his throat and soft moans while trying desperately to hump his hips up for more stimulation but she just slowly pulled her teasing fingers away and giggled at his desperate moans of frustration. I quietly moved over next to her and she whispered in my ear “watch this you won’t believe it;” She then gently massaged his swollen balls in her fingers moving slowly up towards his pulsing cock. Just as she got to the base of his swollen monster she stopped rubbing and began to lightly tickle through the light pubic hair he has around the base of his cock - so lightly that I couldn’t understand how he could feel it. But apparently he could because he did something I’ve never heard him do before, he whimpered and moaned as if out of breath.

“Oh you pooor boy,” Linda teased saying things like “what’s the matter, hmmm, who is verrrryyy horny and excited for Mistress Linda, tell me who is very horny and wants to see Mistress Linda’s titties?” Hubby answered so low I could barely hear it as he begged “Please, pleaassseee Mistress Linda pleaaassseee, oh please, please let me see your titties, please…!!” She continued to tease him gently and asked over and over as if to imbed her new control over him into his brain “Awww, does the poor boy want something? Tell Mistress Linda what you want, do you need me for something…? Tell Mistress Linda what you need.” She continued to ask teasing questions causing my hubby to moan and writhe in frustration.

I could tell he was trying so hard to shoot but Linda was doing an amazing job of keeping him teetering on the very edge of release without going over. To tell you the truth I was starting to feel a little sorry for hubby and was thinking of stopping Linda but at the same time I was so amazed watching him buck and hump his hips at the slightest touch. It was then that I realized just how wet my panties were watching this little scenario my sister created play out in front of me. I just stood there silently beside him and watched her drive him crazy.

Linda kept asking teasing questions, making him beg for a peek at her “little breasts” as she made comments about his blue balls and straining cock. She would say something like “who has such nice BIG blue balls for Mistress Linda?” with an emphasis on the word big and a subtle squeeze to his balls to drive home her point. Linda then softly whispered to me that she had started by tying hubby up, blindfolding him and gently nibbling and licking his neck, ears and nipples which drives him absolutely bonkers with lust.

She said when he was throbbing and busting out of his cage she took out her key and unlocked him and took his cage off then she gently washed him with soap and warm water and gave him a long, slow, wet, sloppy blow job for about twenty minutes to get his cock nice and hard and dripping lots of pre-cum. She told me she hadn’t licked it for nearly two hours and barely touched his cock after the first blow job. She said the whole time hubby was never allowed to touch her or see her body, especially her little titties. She said at first he was strong and didn’t ask to see her tits but then as she started to tease him more she started telling him if he asked to see her little titties she might let him cum. She said soon he was begging to see her titties but she kept denying him and wouldn’t let him see them even though he was begging to see them. She said she was trying to equate seeing the pleasure her tits to the joy of cumming in his mind.

After telling me what she had done she asked me to step back out of the room and out of sight so she could give hubby his little “reward” which caused us both to giggle. She then started to gently brush her fingers up and down his cock as she climbed on the table and straddled his stomach facing him. She reached down and slid hubby’s blindfold up and off his head and asked “who would like a little reward for being such a good boy for Mistress Linda and for begging so nicely to see my tiny little titties?” She stopped caressing him, leaned forward and lifted her shirt and started to shake her little titties right in front of hubby’s face. He started to stammer and mumble “Oh yes, please, oh yes, please oh my god, thank you, thank you I love your tits, they’re so sexy, so so sexy oh yes please I lovvvvveeee your tits, thank you, thank you, thank you, oh my god…!!” She giggled and leaned forward to let him have a nipple to suck on for a brief moment reaching back to give him a light squeeze on his big purple cockhead as if to emphasize the pleasure of getting to suck one of her little titties.

After alternating between letting him suck her right and left nipple while gently rubbing, squeezing and stroking his cock Linda decided she needed some more much deserved release and crawled up to sit her wet little puss-puss squarely on hubby’s face and told him to lick her. Given the heated state she was in after nearly four hours of teasing hubby she came quickly multiple times while he licked and licked to her obvious delight. Hubby’s swollen cock bobbed in the air helplessly while continuing to drip globs and globs of pre-cum, he couldn’t use it and he for sure couldn’t lose it.

Hubby pleaded and pleaded with Linda to let him cum, she said she’d think about it while he licked her to another powerful orgasm. When Linda was finished with hubby’s tongue she crawled off his face and he looked up and noticed me sitting there right behind him. He begged me to help him saying Linda was being mean by teasing him for so long. Linda said “I have not been mean to him, I did what I said I was going to do which is get him to beg me to see my titties.” Which caused hubby to groan some more and we both laughed. She then got me to agree that she did get him to beg to see her titties like she said she would and he groaned again. I considered letting her tease him some more but took pity on him and told her to stop for now. To which hubby started to beg “oh but please, oh please let me cum, please I’m so horny I can’t stand it, please oh please my balls are sooooo sore, please, I did everything you asked…!!!”

Linda agreed to stop her fun but whispered she just wanted to do one more thing and promised it wouldn’t be too bad or take to long.I quietly asked her what she wanted to do and she whispered in my ear that she wanted to sit on my hubby’s cock to see what it would feel like to have someone as large as he was inside her. I was completely blown away, I had no idea she was interested in having my hubby’s huge cock in her. She went on to promise me she wouldn’t let him cum and would never do it again and would never even consider doing it without my permission.

At first I said no, I didn’t want her to do it but then I thought for a second, since hubby hadn’t felt any nice warm, wet puss-puss in over a year maybe this would be a good way for him to get a little “reward,” to feel some puss-puss without me having to be the one to give it to him. Personally I feel he is way too big for me and it hurts too much when he is more than just the giant head, not to mention half way inside me so I rarely allow him in me, and when I do I make sure to secure him tightly so I can control all the motion.

Without hubby knowing I agreed but on one condition. I told Linda I didn’t want him to know it was her puss-puss he was in. I said we should put his blindfold back on and pretend she was leaving so he wouldn’t know it was her on top of him. She giggled saying she loved the idea because she really didn’t want him to know it either. I put the blindfold back on, told hubby Linda was leaving and to say goodbye and thank her for babysitting him. I was amazed when he actually thanked her even though after nearly four hours of teasing he was probably hornier than he’s ever been and his cock was still standing straight as an arrow pointing toward the ceiling and dripping globs of pre-cum. I then went to grab some ear plugs for hubby and when I returned Linda was leaning over licking and kissing his ear and lightly brushing her little soft fingers around his pulsing rod again and said “I hoped you like seeing my little titties” and laughed at his expense. I said “Oh my word would you please leave the poor guy alone and get out of here,” Linda, laughed said goodbye and walked out of the room.

Just before I inserted the ear plugs I whispered into hubby’s ear “now we can have a little fun ourselves.” He groaned not knowing what to expect as I inserted the earplugs. Linda then tiptoed back into the room and removed her clothes. She laid her panties on hubby’s face so he could smell her scent. He moaned and involuntarily humped his hips up as his cock bobbed uncontrollable and more pre-cum dribbled out. I don’t think he understood what was going on when Linda straddled him but it was amazing to see the way his body tense up and jerk to rigid attention when she grabbed his huge cock and started to slowly rub it back and forth on her hot, wet slit. After she was nice and lubricated she started to slooowwwly slide her sopping wet little puss-puss inch by inch down his swollen shaft taking her time working it slowly into her honey pot. She went inch by inch little by little then adjusting to take more and more of his huge cock into her warmth.

When he realized what was happening he immediately started to blabber, stutter and beg incoherently for release. “Yes, oh yes, please, oh please, yes, yes, oh god, it feels sooooo goooood, yes, oh yes, please don’t stop, oh yes, please don’t stop, oh my god yes, don’t stop, please don’t stop….!!!” To keep him quiet Linda reached forward and pushed her panties into his mouth. At this point I did something I rarely do, I slipped my hand down into my shorts and into my sopping wet little puss-puss and quickly gave myself a nice orgasm in record time.

Linda slowly, very slowly slid up and down on hubby’s huge pulsing cock being careful not wanting to make him cum. Then she suddenly just sat down on him, taking his whole length all the way up inside her. She closed her eyes and started to gently rotate and undulate her hips back and forth with hubby’s massive cock buried deep in her all the way to the hilt. She seemed lost in her passion as she bobbed and swayed above him, I swear his huge stiff rod kept her upright as she appeared on the verge of tipping over and falling off. Without the up and down motion hubby wasn’t able to cum but she could get off rotating her hips on his huge cock head buried deep inside her. After having her fill and regaining her composure she smiled, opened her eyes and slowly lifted herself back up and off his throbbing pole leaving him a quivering lump of horny male flesh. Hubby was thrashing and writhing at the bonds, moaning and groaning trying to beg for more through her panties but there was none, at least not today.

I quietly led Linda out of the room and into the bathroom where she climbed in to take a relaxing shower. I closed the door and out of ear shot she told me just how amazing it felt and how she must’ve had eight climaxes over the past four hours with hubby’s talented mouth and huge cock buried deep inside her. She said his giant cock was so big and “filling” she had never felt anything like it in her life.

She thanked me and thanked me for allowing her to be part of our lifestyle and told me over and over how she never felt anything like it. When she calmed down she finished dressing and quietly left to go home.I returned to find hubby still moaning and throbbing and dripping for some much needed relief. I wasn’t quite sure what to do with him in such a horny and crazed state so I decided to let him calm down and left him tied there and went to take a nap. It was dark when I woke and my panties were soaked so I decided to once again play with myself. When I was finished I got dressed and went back to see hubby.

I found him fast asleep with his big soft cock laying on his stomach in a puddle of pre-cum at the end of it. I was tired and didn’t want to leave him tied to the dining room table all night but at the same time I didn’t want to start something new with him so before I woke him I gently locked his cock cage back on and untied him from the table. He awoke from his dazed slumber and slid off the table and fell to my feet and whimpered saying how much he loved me and wanted to lick my puss-puss. I told him not now, it was time for bed and we could play some more another time. I turned and walked to our bedroom with him crawling behind me on his hands and knees - we both climbed in, cuddled and drifted off to sleep.

[achmommy]

Female Domination: Top Ten things to Do

1.Sexual Control

If you want to dominate your man in the bedroom, sexual control is the most basic requirement. This fantasy is about giving you all the sexual power, so your pleasure must come first. Think about it, from the woman’s perspective, most sexual encounters tend to shorter and less satisfying than she would like. Not this time. For this encounter, he is only allowed to orgasm when (and if) you permit it. If he cannot agree to this basic rule, then all bets are off. If, on the other hand, he agrees, well then for all practical purposes you are already in charge of the bedroom. As usual, he will want to rush to the main attraction, but now you can extend the foreplay for as long as you want. And, the hornier he gets, the more desperately willing he will be to do anything and everything you say. The truth is, a certain amount of sexual frustration on his part is what gives you power. Sexual control really is the basis for all domination/submission foreplay.

2.Sexy Enslavement

The next step is to make him your own personal love slave. Order him to serve you wine, give you a massage, strip naked, kneel at your feet… literally anything you want. For this night he is yours…so have fun with it. Just be sure to speak with authority. Tell him what to do, and expect him to obey immediately, without question. Remember, if you want him to treat you like a Queen, you have to act like a Queen. So approach this role play with confidence. Also, you may even want to give him strict rules to reinforce your dominance. A few common ideas: make him only address you a formal title (Queen, Mistress, etc.), prohibit from asking any questions, restrict him from touching your body or himself during foreplay etc. Obviously, he must be punished if he ever breaks any of your rules. Finally, never forget that, though he must wait patiently for when (and if) he get to climax, you face no such restriction. So, use him as a sex slave. This may mean you order him to give you oral sex. Or if you prefer, bring a vibrator into the bedroom. Whatever it takes to get yours. After all, the ultimate goal of any \"slave\" is the pleasure and satisfaction of his mistress.

3.Bondage

The most direct way to take control of the bedroom is to introduce bondage. This can be as basic as blindfolding him during foreplay and/or sex. Or, it may involve binding his hands or otherwise restraining him. Either way, there is something incredibly erotic about the loss of control. Bondage puts him in a very vulnerable position, which for most men (whether they admit it or not) is a huge turn on.

Binding his hands (or handcuffing him) is good for simple play. But, it is really worth experimenting with slightly more advance bondage. Probably the most popular bondage position is spread eagle- where both his and ankles are tied down to the bed. From this position he can squirm, but he won’t be able to escape. You meanwhile, have total control. You can play with body for as long as you desire. This may include giving him pleasure and stimulation of various kinds, or making him give you pleasure. For example, one rather evil, but fun, thing it try from this position is called face sitting: straddle his face while he’s tied up, and order him to give you oral pleasure. Or, pleasure yourself while he is restrained. Watching (or listening) to you pleasure yourself while not being able to participate (or touch himself) is an intense, but erotic torment for any man. Finally, if you really want be dangerous, use temperature to enhance his stimulation. Ice can really enhance both pleasure and pain…as can heat. You can, for example, drag ice across his chest or carefully drip hot wax on his body while he his restrained. Overall, bondage in its various forms is easiest way to turn your hunky man into your own personal little sex toy. Just be sure to play safe! Always use a safeword, and invest in a few toys designed for this type of play.

4.Erotic Teasing

Once you have him tied up, what’s next? Well, the best thing to do now is tease him mercilessly. There is nothing sexier than watching your man squirm helplessly while you have your way with him. Touch his body slowly, rub him, kiss various parts of his body, tickle him, speak to him seductively…whatever it takes to drive him wild with lust. The main idea here is to bring him close to climax, and then deny him. In addition to be fun, erotic teasing reinforces the exchange of sexual power. He only gets to release if and when you want him to. Until then, his body is your plaything. Obviously, all of this is highly related to number 3. There is a ton of overlap between teasing and bondage. But, you can certainly tease him without bondage. Just act as seductively as possible, and it will drive him crazy. In the context of idea 1 (sexual control) even mild teasing can have a dramatic effect on him. So have fun with it…casually introduce some new lingerie, tell him how wet you are, neglect to wear underwear…whatever. You can even tease him before the foreplay officially starts. Leave him a sexy voicemail or text message; he will be thinking about you all day.

5.Corporal Punishment

Admit it, you want him to be your whipping boy. He (secretly) wants it too. So, make it happen! Corporal punishment can refer to anything from light erotic spanking to flogging with a whip or crop. And it can be anything from extremely mild and playful to painful and intense. Early on most women want to approach with caution, starting out with gentle play and gradually becoming more aggressive over time. Obviously, if you are going to experiment with any form of punishment make sure you and your man on the same page. Talk about things beforehand, and keep communication open before and after all sessions, and use a safe word.

6.Non-corporal Punishment

Spanking and/or whipping can certainly be both fun and arousing. But, there are plenty of other, more interesting ways to discipline a naughty boy. Even without exploring hardcore S&M, there are literally hundreds of clever ways to punish him. A few examples: pinch him aggressively, put him in time out, make do a difficult or repetitive task, prohibit him from speaking, physically gag him, use clothespins on his body, make him wear a collar and leash, make him lick your boots and/or feet, temporarily deny him food or other rewards, etc. Also, as discussed earlier, cold (ice) and heat (wax) can be used to enhance physical pain or as punishments in their own right. And, of course, bondage itself can be a form of punishment (his hands will be tied if he gets too touchy, etc.). The possibilities really are endless, just use your imagination. If all else fails, order him to come up with his own punishments. You may be surprised what kind of things he comes up with. Also, keep in mind, some punishment ideas work well for disciplining him and/or teaching him a lesson, while others may be better if you simply want to torture him a bit for your own amusement. Remember, no matter how sweet and loving you are under normal circumstances, in this context you need to embrace your evil side. This is the one time in life when it’s perfectly ok to be a little cruel and devious. Domination play is strange that way. You torture him, and he loves you for it.

7.Mind Games

Ladies if you really want to dominate the bedroom, you can’t just play with his body…you have to mess with his head! A few ideas:

-Fickle Mistress: Tell him you feel sorry for him- you are going to stop playing with him and give him exactly what he desires, right now. Then start rubbing and kissing him. But then, just before the climax, abruptly change your mind. Or, alternatively, play the opposite game. Tell him you have decided he will not be allowed to orgasm tonight and the decision is final (even if it isn’t). In his desperation, he will suddenly become even more obedient and submissive.

-Playful Threats: Just as your session begins, tell him you are going all out tonight. Tell him to prepare his mind, because you are going to enjoy really making him suffer. He will be both intimidated and incredibly aroused by these threats. Or, tell him that you have something special planned (a really evil new punishment perhaps). Even if you don’t have anything particularly special, the anticipation will drive him crazy. Later, if you didn’t unveil a new punishment, just tell him that he was such a good boy you didn’t need it. He will just have to wait till next time.

-Begging: Make him beg for release, and then tease him about it. Laugh, giggle, and tell him how amusing you find his predicament. This, will of course, make him want to beg even more…creating (for him) a vicious cycle.

-Interrogation: Accuse him of a \"crime\" or bad behavior. If he denies, tease/torture him until he confesses. The \"crime\" can just be something silly or sexy (did you masturbate last week? Etc.) Of course, once he admits to whatever it is, you will have punish him for it. The funny thing is, you can play this game whether he is \"guilty\" of the \"crime\" or not.

The bottom line is, playing with his mind can be just as powerful as playing with his body.

8.Roleplaying and Fantasy Scenarios

In the bedroom, many people enjoy sexual roleplaying. And why not…what woman does not like getting into costume now and again? Perhaps you’ve played the role of frisky maid or naughty schoolgirl? Well there are plenty of ways to use role playing scenarios in the context of bondage and submission/domination. For some people, role playing a formal scenario can help set the scene and keep things interesting. A few common ideas:

Wealthy Roman lady purchases a captured warrior to be used as her own personal pleasure slave.

Sexy teacher must discipline a male student who simply will not behave himself.

Wicked young princess (or Queen) decides to have some fun with the royal whipping boy.

Seductive sorceress puts a magical spell on a handsome knight.

Female detective uses unorthodox methods when interrogating a male suspect.

Naive delivery boy falls into the clutches of a seductive (and sadistic) dominatrix.

These are just a few ideas. But, again, the possibilities are endless. Develop as scene that suits your own tastes, and have at it.

9.Slave Training

If you plan to play the dominate role frequently (or at least experiment with it occasionally), it may be useful to \"train him\" in what you like. This may sound crazy, but the truth he won’t become your perfect little sex slave without some training. This could simply mean you establish a basic routine (every scene starts with him stripping, kneeling down, and putting his hands behind his back). Or, you may make him memorize specific commands. Perhaps snapping your fingers means that he is to assume the position for a spanking. Training can also mean you teach him how to give you satisfying massages or foot rubs. The point is, you can train him to do whatever you want. Now, when training him, both positive and negative reinforcement can be quite useful. If he has performed well, tell him (good boy) and perhaps give him some kind of reward. Obviously, if he ever performs poorly, he should be punished. At the very least, you should use the domination fantasy experience to train him in how to give you good oral sex. It may take him a bit, but he will improve. You may soon find yourself having many more orgasms, on a more regular basis, than you ever thought possible.

10.Body Worship

Last but not least, body worship should become a staple of your bedroom activities. Religious folks out there…please do not be offended! This not blasphemy we’re talking about here. Rather, it’s just a common term used in domination play. And, why not? You are sexual goddess, he needs to treat you like one. The thing is, and let’s be honest, there are plenty of times when he is much hornier than you are. He wants it so bad, while you could basically take it or leave it. Well, put all that sexual energy to good use! Have him lavish your body with tender affection and sensual indulgence…kisses, caresses, massage, whatever it is that you like. The advantage of body worship is that is does not have to be explicitly sexual. It could as simple as kissing your hand or rubbing your feet. Just tell him what you want, and watch him go all out. (you may decide to give him some strictly enforced restrictions as well…no groping or touching of the breasts, etc.) Of course you, as the sexy lady, do not have to do anything to reciprocate his affections. You can literally be reading a book or watching tv while he worships your body. Amusingly, if you do ignore him, this will tend to make him more aroused, not less. Try as he might, all this physical affection will do nothing to relieve the sexual pressure building up inside him. Thus, as he obsesses on your body, he gradually become even more aroused (and enslaved). You’re doing nothing, while he is become ever more wrapped around your finger. Oh, what fun!

[wife-led-husband]

Some fun ideas for a couple into chastity

Here are some ideas, and some advice to couples that are exploring a female led relationship that involves chastity.  These are not “advanced techniques” and I don’t claim to be an expert, but in the 6 years we have played in the lifestyle, these are some of the more important things I have learned.  If you are looking to completely dominate your husband in every aspect of your life, this is probably not the article for you.  If you are interested in having a more fun, kinky, and exciting sex life, along with a little more control in the household, and help your husband be a better partner to you, this may help.

How long should he be locked?

I truly believe that it should be up to the keyholder and her alone, but some people like to switch things up, so here are some fun ways to let fate decide.

Determine the number of orgasm he has to give the keyholder before he earns an orgasm.

The keyholder could require him to provide her with 10 oral, 10 using a vibrator, and 10 using his cock before he earns the right to have his own.  Or 20 using his fingers and 5 using his mouth, and 5 with a dildo, or strap on, you get the idea.

How about adding one day every time he has an orgasm, so if he made it 21 days this time he has to wait 22 next time.

There is a myriad of dice games that could be used.  If you Google dice chastity game, you can find an endless supply.

Marbles seem to be another favorite, again if you Google marble chastity game, there are plenty to choose from.

I think a really fun one is to use trivia to determine his lock up time.  While lying in bed the keyholder can ask a series of questions about anything she likes really, and for every answer the sub gets wrong he gets a day or a week or whatever time period the keyholder desires locked in chastity, this is fun because the keyholder is still determining the lock up time, by the number of questions or how hard they are.  Try Keyholder trivia, she can ask questions about what she likes, you can both have fun and learn what makes your keyholder happy!

I also think that it is a big turn on for the sub to know that regardless what the “game” determines should be the lock up time, that he knows it is ultimately what his keyholder decides, so when the time arrives that he has earned his orgasm, simply tell him, “I know you were supposed to have an orgasm today, but I have decided to keep you locked another few days.”

Fun things for the Keyholder to say to keep the sub excited.  I think it is important for the keyholder to remember that for the sub in chastity, it is a 24/7 commitment, and sometimes all it takes is the smallest reminder from his keyholder to get his libido back up and racing and keep it exciting for him.

“Tonight sweetie, you can be my little brown noser.”

“Oh! Sweetie, your cage looks tight and uncomfortable!  Oh well, you will just have to suffer for me.”

“You haven’t thanked me for locking up your cock and controlling your orgasms for you in quite a while.  Do you have anything to say to me?”

After he has given you an orgasm orally, you could say, “Sweetie you are getting so good with your tongue, pretty soon I will never have to unlock your cock!”

After inspecting his cage to make sure he is secure, you could say something like, “Hmmm, maybe we should get a size smaller.”

“Sweetie I seem to have lost the key, oh well, we won’t be needing it for a long time anyway.”

“Denying you is so much more fun than letting you orgasm, I might never let you cum again!”

Every time you lock his device, you should say something like, “Now thank me for controlling your orgasms,” or, “There we go, my cock is locked up again, until the next time I need it.”

You get the idea, anything to remind him that you are in control will excite him and keep him happy for quite a while.

Tease and Denial:  I think this is the most important part of chastity and also a successful female led relationship.  There are numerous entire web sites and articles with ideas out there, so I will let you find your own fun ideas, but I would like to remind you that it doesn’t have to last only an hour, there are ways to tease your sub all day without having to lift a finger.

1.      Have him shave all his pubic hair.  It is more comfortable wearing a cage when you are shaved anyway.  Every time his goes to the bathroom it will be another reminder of your control.

2.      Assign him to make you a sex toy, or bondage device, like a leg spreader, or install eye bolts to tie him off to.

3.      Assign him a list of chores you want complete, with the knowledge that if they are not done he will be punished.

4.      Make him clean the house dressed as a woman.

5.      Have him hand wash your panties and lingerie.

6.      Have him run an errand for you wearing a butt plug.

7.      Tell him you need new panties and you want him to buy them for you.  When He gives them to you, tell him you think they will look better on him, and make him wear them.

8.      Before he leaves for work, make him lick your pussy and tell him that he has the privilege of smelling you every time he inhales now.

9.      You can set rules for him, like having to ask to use the bathroom, or having to address you as mistress or princess for the day.

Punishments: Punishments can be fun, or they can be just that, Punishments.  I think any female led relationship should have both.  Just having “fun” punishments promotes behavior from the sub that is unacceptable, because he enjoys the punishment and acts up in order to get it.  For punishments that are meant to correct behavior or habits, he should be aware that you are truly unhappy with what he has done, that you love him very much, and that the punishment is meant to hurt.  After the punishment reinforce that you love him, and you did what you did to help him be a better partner.  I can say 100% of the time that your partner will love you for it, gain respect for you in the relationship, and be far more excited because it now seems real to him.  With just playful punishments, he may still view this as a game.  Here are some playful punishments:

1.      Have him lick your ass, as you watch TV or read a book.  Make sure to give him plenty of direction and encouragement, and tease him a bit as well.  Lets face it, sex is 90% mental.  Say things like, “I love my little brown noser,” or “get your tongue in there or that cage stays locked for another week.”  It’s important that you make do a good job, not just lick your butt cheeks, the excitement for the sub is all mental, being made to lick your ass, the punishment part is making him really do it.

2.      During a teasing session, if he starts moving too much or getting overly close to orgasm, take off your panties, put the gusset on his face and tell him they can keep him company while you go get a drink.

3.      Have him run you a bath, wash your body, lotion your legs, dress you, even paint your toe nails.  Keep it exciting for him by telling him how happy you are he is in chastity, and how you would hate to lose his enthusiasm, so you may never remove the device.

4.      Have him wear panties and stockings to work under his work clothes, no one but you and he will know.  He will be on high alert all day hoping no one notices.  You can text him from time to time to remind him of his situation!

5.      If he keeps asking to be let out of his cage, take off your panties and gag him with them.

6.      Play a little trivia game with him, tie his hands up, play with him until he is excited, and ask him if he knows how to please you, he will of course say yes, then you can say “great!  We are going to play a game, I will ask you some questions about me, when you are right I will stroke your cock, when you are wrong, I will slap it.”  Ask away!  You can ask him anything from your favorite color to your favorite sexual position!

7.      Tens units are a lot of fun as well, as they can be used to provide great pleasure, or a small amount of pain.  They can make a great training tool used correctly.

8.      Take all his boring male underwear, and replace them with panties, and tell him he has to earn his underwear back, and he should wear the panties till he does.

9.      Hoods can be a lot of fun.  Get one with a gag and use some ear plugs and he won’t know when or where you are going to give him pleasure (or pain).

10.  Spankings of course are a favorite, using your hand or a paddle its pretty tough to really hurt him, so spank away.  Careful with some of the switches or canes, as you can actually draw blood with enough force.

11.  If he comes without permission, I consider that a pretty serious offense.  The whole idea of the relationship is that he is giving you control of his orgasms, if he takes that back, its just a sex game to him again.  If he is unable to control himself any more, he should be able to talk to you seriously and explain the situation and let YOU decide when and how he orgasms.  Taking it upon himself is unacceptable.  He should get a serious punishment, be locked back up, in his cage immediately, and made to lick up his mess.

12.  Ruined orgasms can be very effective.  There are plenty of videos and articles on how they work and how to cause them, so I will not go into it, but they take some practice to get it right.  When you do get it right, it actually will leave your sub just as horny, but leaves you with the leverage of saying “you just had an orgasm!”  You know you did it right if his seed simply flows out with no “burst”, also just watching his face will tell you!

Like I said there has to be more than just fun punishments.  Sometimes, he will need to be corrected.  This prevents him from “topping from the bottom” or controlling what you have him do.  Certainly he has to get some of what he wants, but he should not be able to “force you to force him” that is not how it works, and is not as much fun for him or you.  Punishments are also great ways to “tweek” his behavior or attitude towards you, if he is acting moody or speaking disrespectfully to you, simply tell him of your concern, explain what you expect from him, and proceed with the punishment.  Its amazing how quickly a good spanking will get a man back in “subspace” where he is loving and respectful.  Some punishments can include:

The easiest and usually most effective is spanking.  It is both humiliating and a bit painful for the sub.  You can use your hand, a hairbrush, cane, switch, paddle, flogger, crop, shoe, anything really.  Make sure he knows the reason, make sure he knows you love him, make sure he knows it is going to hurt.  When its done hug him, tell him again you love him, and reinforce with him that you don’t want that behavior to continue, as it is upsetting his keyholder.

You can put spikes in his chastity cage.  Be careful here as I have heard of some people actually getting a bruised or cut penis from some of the spikes available for some devices.

Being tied in an uncomfortable position for a period of time.  This can really be painful and uncomfortable, and gives the sub time to reflect on what he did.

Prolonging his release date.  Yep, that’s pretty effective.  Although it really only works if you have a set release date.

Withholding teasing sessions.  What your sub craves most of all is your attention, so withholding it is about the worst thing that you can do to him.  Be careful here though because after a few days in chastity your sub is going to be pretty emotionally vulnerable, and could easily feel neglected by being ignored.  So, if you are withholding your attention make sure he knows why and that he is just not being put on the back burner for something more important than he.

When you feel the time comes for your sub to have full orgasm I encourage you to let him build up to it, and make it special.  I also could not encourage you more, that if you want to continue with his current lock up, that you ask him.  That’s right ask him!  Say something like, “You have been a very good boy and have earned an orgasm, but I am really enjoying myself, and don’t want to have to start all over, when you are so horny and loving right now.  If you ask me to, I will put you back in your device, and I will promise to be more demanding, more cruel, more kinky, and an all around better keyholder.”  I would make sure he is right on the edge of an orgasm when you do this as it will really drive him crazy!  Be prepared, he will eventually say he needs an orgasm, don’t look at it as him rejecting you, look at it as nature overpowering his need to submit.  If he does choose to orgasm, if you would like to continue his chastity, and devotion to you, make sure he puts his device on immediately after he has his orgasm.  When a man has an orgasm, he immediately loses all his submissiveness, and it is important to have him in his device to start building it again.

[hubbywifeplaytime]

Him: i love blogs like this, can get some really cool ideas and make them your own.

[lockedforever4her-deactivated20]

Being a real chastity slave IRL, great to see other realistic bloggers!

[themodernmarriage]

Orgasm Control: A List of Benefits

I get a lot of questions about the benefits for me and for my husband about the benefits of structured orgasm control as part of addressing the issue of “mismatched libidos” in heterosexual relationships. For many people, as soon as they make a start on this journey, a range of benefits become clear pretty quickly. So, in this case, I believe the requests for providing a list benefits are for people who are still in the process of deciding if this approach is for them.

The short answer is - yes, your life (and sex life) will change for the better. Give it a try.

The second short answer - yes, use a chastity cage. While it is possible to practise orgasm control without one, the benefits for you, but especially for him, of using a chastity cage are exponential. Perhaps the list of benefits below will elucidate why:

Control vs Neglect

In most heterosexual, long-term relationships, women have a significantly lower sex drive than their male partners. Men have less sex than they would ideally like. In this sense, marriage means that females control the allocation of sex. Already. However, without a deliberate structure and communication around the element of this control, the mismatched libido is interpreted by the male as ‘neglect’ or the feeling of not being desired. This can drive the male to pornography, masturbation or ‘nagging for sex’, which puts unwanted pressure on you, and is a serious turn-off.

When orgasm control is discussed and structured as part of the couple’s sexual dynamic, the male’s perception moves from being ‘neglected’ to ‘controlled’. The latter is highly arousing, and the sexual dynamics flips on its head. By controlling his sexual release, you as a couple are indicating that it has a ‘value’ far greater than when he is simply free to masturbate at will. His greatest physical reward, and the oxytocin, bonding, dopamine rush that follows becomes linked to you, not to Pornhub.

More Sex, More Orgasms (For YOU)

Orgasm control is about controlling the MALE orgasm, not yours. The worst thing you can do is be sexually inactive between release windows. Rather just call the whole thing off now - it will not work.

Rather, you can and should have frequent orgasms - and he will love giving them to you. My partner and I have sex frequently outside of his release window. I unlock him and we have standard sex - the only difference is that he is not allowed to cum. He goes slower, uses toys, users his hands and tongue - whatever he needs to do to follow the rules - and I can deliciously and *selfishly* enjoy it. Once we're done, he is locked back up until next time.

This is what he expects and desires - don't feel bad for one second. Stop thinking in the old school "Sex is about the male being satisfied" mindset. It is mindblowing for him in every way - both mentally and physically.

Reigniting the Desire

As has been said on this blog before, males are programmed to ‘move on’ emotionally after ejaculating. Orgasm leads to a spike in prolactin which is a ‘shut off valve’ for intimacy and sexual desire. Frequent masturbation is therefore a total intimacy killer. Controlling the male orgasm leads to increases in oxytocin focused on you as his key objects of desire. He is heavily sexually aroused and his desire for you will skyrocket. Now, he is fully aware that he can’t do anything about it until his scheduled release, so it translates as increased intimacy, and increased energy for other things.

No Pressure for Sex

Modern marriages are defined by women ‘feeling bad’ every time they are not up for sex. The perception of old-world society is that it is the women’s duty to provide sex whenever the male desires. With chastity and orgasm control, this is completely reversed. Sex is not the goal, and the ongoing sexual rush of the denial is what the male will savor the most.

We have PIV (penis in vagina) sex frequently. Most often this is outside of his release window, so he knows that he is not allowed to orgasm, and after I am finished, he is re-locked. It's a mind-screw and a challenge for him, but he absolutely LOVES it!

Chastity is Effortless

With him in chastity, I can do all of this without really having to do much. A bit of attention here and there, a bit of teasing and he is at a constant, positive simmer. It is about communication, structure and commitment.

Release Days are Effortless

When I do allow him an orgasm, this too can be as effortless as you could possibly imagine. On release days, his excitement is so high that bringing him to climax can take as little as a few seconds. This is about “release” - after weeks locked up he will not be able to last very long. Sometimes he will cum just by taking the cage off... In which case, job done 😂.

I usually start by having him bring me to orgasm as usual - with his tongue, hands or a toy. Now it's his turn (for once!).

First decision - do you want him to have his release while in the cage or unlocked?

Caged: it's about balls and nipples. I recommend one hand plays with his nips while the other pulls, squeezes and strokes his balls. Then begin tapping his balls at a regular rhythm, building intensity slowly. Tell him he has permission to cum... Keep tapping and in a few minutes he will come to the edge. He is to ask permission one more time before he about to cum. As he is coming, tap / slap harder until he is finished.

Unlocked: Take off the cage, grip his balls tightly and pull them away from his body, back and forth. Try to touch his nub as little as possible. At most, use a slow, infrequent stroke with a single finger from the base of his nub up the shaft to the tip. He must ask permission just as he is about to cum. At this point, tighten your grip and pull his balls away from his body and hold them there until he is finished.

Tip 1: If you do unlock him for release, always relock directly after he orgasms. This significantly reduces the "drop" he will experience after orgasm and will push him through the 2-3 grouchiness period much smoother. He loves it if I put the cage on him, but if you prefer he locks himself, straight after his release, firmly tell him that it's time to go back in the cage.

Tip 2: Feed it to him! Tell him to clean up with his tongue or at least lick it off your hand. Recycling is important 😂.

Cages Look Sexy

I think of chastity cages as jewellery which is very aesthetically pleasing. Unlocked penises flop about, lean to one side, grow and shrink unpredictably and are often pretty badly manicured. When locked in a cage, everything is so neat. Males will need to do a bit of gardening down there to make it as comfortable as possible. Everything is held in place. His nub is encased and immobilized. His balls are held tight and presented forward. He will want to wear tight underwear or swimwear for comfort purposes, which presents such a neat little package. Every time I see the cage I am reminded that he is doing this for me, and I get a little shiver down my spine. It just looks better, and I love it!

Arousal on Demand

Males think about sex all the time. The vast majority of sexual thoughts and corresponding erections go completely ignored. When locked in chastity, these sexual thoughts (and erections) are contained, and are linked to you as the keyholder. This is highly arousing for the male, and will feel like direct attention from you - even though you may not even be in the same postcode. The cage works for you full-time, and is there whenever the male is aroused. Extremely powerful!

Discipline

The chastity cage helps males to stick to the rules. Most males masturbate significantly more than you will ever imagine. For the vast majority, they will NEVER have gone 21 days or more without masturbating since they first discovered it in their teens. With a cage, masturbation is simply off the table. They must direct this energy elsewhere. Which leads to :

Weight Loss and Conditioning

All of this extra energy must go somewhere, and in most cases, this is directed to physical exercise and conditioning. Many women report that time in chastity has lead to significant weight loss and body sculpting in their males. Motivation and drive are seriously tangible chastity benefits that you will notice as little as 7 days in.

Service

Oxytocin is the courting hormone. Increases in this wonder drug caused by orgasm control will often lead to a far more focused, attentive and service-oriented mentality. Whether conscious on his part or not, I notice a happier, more helpful male, with a higher attention-to-detail and eagerness to please. Use this as you see fit!

A Better Sex Life

Most importantly, chastity and orgasm denial will improve your sex life. Sex does not equate to penetration anymore, although it certainly can if you wish. Unlock him at any point in the schedule for sex of you're keen for it - it's just that outside of the release window, he will have to find a way not to orgasm. You are the focus until his release date!

Most importantly, "sex" in long-term marriages is about sexual interaction - intimacy, honesty, communication and care. This is why you are doing this in the first place. Rewire your thinking as a couple, and become a highly engaged, balanced and aligned sexual partnership.

Conclusions

These are just some of the many benefits that are associated with the exciting journey of male orgasm control. Drop some more in the comments and I can add to this ever-growing list.

[themodernmarriage]

Understanding Mismatched Libidos in Heterosexual Relationships

In most long term heterosexual relationships, there is an inevitable drop in the frequency of sex. Unfortunately, the ‘lust’ and spontaneity that defined early parts of the relationship get pushed aside in the face of the more ‘practical’ side of a long term marriage - finances, work, chores, children… the list goes on.

On top of this, most women typically have a lower sex drive than men in long-term monogamous relationships. This is often described as a “mismatched libido” - a situation where the male is craving sexual interaction and the female is not feeling the same urge - or, at least - not with the same frequency. Subtle cues that one partner is ‘not in the mood’ will often discourage the other partner from even probing for physical affection in the first place. In these cases, it is common for the male to feel sexually under-utilized or under-engaged.

This mismatched libido situation often leads to two of the most common sexual mood-killers in long-term relationships:

The male begging you for sex, which is a huge turnoff for you

Giving the male sex because you feel ‘bad’, which is a huge turnoff for him

Also, less frequent ejaculation makes lovemaking far more difficult for the male as increased sensitivity and pent up ‘horniness’ is a recipe for premature ejaculation and performance anxiety which can make the male hesitant to initiate. To counter this, males will turn to masturbation and pornography - both of which increase the production of the sexual ‘shut-off’ hormone, prolactin, which makes the male significantly less likely to be responsive and affectionate to their partner. Males who are masturbating frequently will often appear irritable or ‘grumpy’ as a result of these courting hormones being suppressed. It’s easy to see how these combining factors lead toward a vicious-cycle of sexual decline.

A Solution: Aligning to the Male Hormonal Cycle

As a biological reality, trying to increase the female libido is not a realistic solution to this issue. It is much more effective to manage the libido imbalance from the male’s side.

This is done by aligning the male’s orgasm frequency with their typical sexual hormonal cycle. Luckily, the timings of this cycle are fairly predictable and well understood. It typically works as follows:

Directly post-orgasm: Males experience a 'drop' caused by a rush of prolactin - an energy and oxytocin (courting, cuddling, compliance hormone) suppressant.

3-5 days post-orgasm: Prolactin starts to return to normal levels.

You may notice the typical "3 day itch" where he's grouchy or irritable. He's highly likely to want to masturbate in this period to get the endorphin rush to offset his slump. He could ask you to unlock him - if so, he's testing your commitment. Tell him he’s doing well and to push a little longer. A little teasing or attention will get him through.

5-21 days post-orgasm: Oxytocin levels start to increase.

You will start to notice a glorious, loving, caring - even obedient version of your male! His desire for you will escalate through this period.

21+ days post-orgasm: Oxytocin production starts to plateau and stabilize.

More of the same, but after 21 days the dramatic increase will subside, although the levels don't drop off necessarily.

This is why many believe that the 21 days mark is the ideal minimum point at which to allow male release, effectively pushing the reset button for the cycle to start again. This alignment to the male’s hormonal cycle is the essence of what is broadly known as Male Orgasm Control.

Implementing Male Orgasm Control

Now for the fun bit - for you and him! The most obvious, but often neglected part of initiating a more structured sexual relationship in this way is communication. Whether this is your idea initially, or his, is irrelevant. Communicating openly and honestly will set the parameters for the thriving sexual journey ahead.

This starts by collectively agreeing to place the male’s orgasms under her control. Setting this, and other rules, as well as a clear structure (even schedule) will be the first part of the journey, after which you will adjust as you see fit.

For example:

Schedule release windows: perhaps a day of the week every 18-21+ days. This is suprisingly useful in long term relationships as it keeps you both on track!

The male is to agree to have no orgasm outside of this window. You (or he) may wish him to wear a chastity device during time, which has a variety of benefits (see below).

Remain intimate with kissing, cuddling, teasing, massage throughout the cycle. This is spontaneous and unplanned intimacy that is at the heart of bonding as a couple.

On release day, give him permission to orgasm. This may be during sex, you may wish to give him a handjob, BJ, touchless orgasm, caged orgasm or simply ask him to masturbate to climax.

5. The cycle begins again!

It’s as simple as that! Orgasm control is in essence about providing a structure and ‘game’ element to your sexual relationship that addresses the key issues of mismatched libidos. For him, the game is one that gives him focus, attention and satiates his need to be desired, in alignment with his sexual hormonal cycle. For you, it balances the libido differences that so often cause misalignment, and gives you clarity, structure and fun sense of control which you will both find hugely rewarding and exciting.

Commit to it!

Something crucial to note at this point: this journey succeeds only if you, as the female, commit to it. Whether you introduced this to your partner or the other way around, if your male is locked in a chastity cage, he is committed to make it work! There will be times when he's super into it, and times when he madly wishes he could unlock and jerk off - but he can't - you have the key.

What he needs is reciprocation from your side - committing to the process, acknowledging and embracing your control, and never simply 'lock and forget'.

Set the schedule

Control (hide) the key

Set some rules

Follow through!

The benefits for you are:

His behavior will change as he, even on a hormonal level, will be trying to 'seduce' you and please you

There is no pressure for you to ‘be in the mood’ outside of the release schedule… there will be no 'nagging' / begging for sex from his side, which is a big turnoff.

He will have more sexual energy for you, which you can direct however you choose - even towards non-sexual things like home tasks, keeping fit and sexy for you… be creative!

The element of control can be lots of fun - for both of you!

The benefits for him are:

Increased energy and focus

Clarity regarding the structure of your sexual relationship, rather than constant 'hope / disappointment' of the libido imbalance

Sex is not the focus, so even small things like verbal cues or physical touch and teasing are sufficient and very pleasurable for him. In the 5-21 day period, the male is climbing towards peak arousal. Any sexual interaction - kissing, touching, massaging, foreplay - will be totally electric for him. In many ways, the orgasm itself becomes secondary.

The release, when it comes, is totally mind blowing for him.

The Case for the Cage

It is often surprising for female partners to learn that in most cases, the process of male orgasm control is significantly improved for the male when a chastity cage is used. Some key reasons are:

Discipline:

Firstly, and most obviously, the cage makes it impossible for him to masturbate outside of the release window. Many males have NEVER gone 21 days without orgasm since they had their first one in their teens! This is the training aid that they need to align to the new schedule.

Zero Erections:

Another key reason is that having regular erections without stimulation and release is extremely frustrating for the male. It is effectively like making a fresh cup of coffee and allowing him to smell it, but never allowing him to taste. Locking him up effectively and painlessly prevents erections, which means he is not getting to smell the coffee in the first place - at least until he is allowed to do something about it in the release window.

Decreased Sensitivity:

The cage also prevents access to the most sensitive part of his nub (the frenulum), which means this is not constantly being simulated unintentionally during movement, sleep etc. This frustration can result in whining, sleep disruptions and begging for sex, which really defeats the purpose.

Arousal:

Finally, a chastity cage should be understood as a tool which provides a constant reminder of the shared sexual experience between you and him. Without any effort on your part, you as the keyholder are driving him wild (in a good way!) every time he thinks of sex - whether in a staff meeting, driving to work, at the supermarket or on a running trail. The sexual charge is highly exhilarating. Try it on for size 😉.

Conclusions

In a nutshell, Male Orgasm Control is the simplest, most effective and fun way to help us bridge the gap between nature’s mismatched libidos. Talk about it with your partner, define the parameters and enjoy the journey towards blissful sexual alignment!

[themodernmarriage]

Ruined Orgasms

What is a Ruined Orgasm?

I guess the biggest misunderstanding about ruined orgasms comes from the word “ruined”. It has a negative connotation. It suggests something unpleasant or unfinished. It's also often called a "touchless orgasm", which is more accurate I believe.

"Ruined" is simply inaccurate. A perfectly “ruined” orgasm is still an orgasm! It will feel profoundly different, but it will always be WONDERFUL – especially if you use it as a way to prolong your lovemaking! Males have been giving themselves orgasms for many years, but one thing that it is basically impossible for them to do is give themselves a "ruined orgasm". This, among other things, is what makes it so mind-blowing.

The basic concept is very simple, in theory at least. Let’s say that his point of no return (the precise moment, no matter what happens, once reached, the body gives the “kick-off” and inevitably triggers the orgasm) is very precisely seven minutes, then you must stimulate him for just under seven minutes (and not a second more). At that moment, release his nub and absolutely stop all your stimulation. As long as he doesn’t receive physical stimulation, his orgasmic reflexes will lead him straight to a ruined orgasm. Mission accomplished!

The key to a ruined orgasm is to find the right moment to interrupt the stimulation. Instead of “letting go at the last second”, you can stop much sooner. The goal is to leave him on the verge of orgasm, as if time were suspended, for as long as possible before his body triggers the ejaculatory reflexes. If you do it correctly his semen should just flow effortlessly drip down along his straining nub.

Do you see that “floating” moment, the time it takes for the semen to flow without caressing it? If so, congratulations, you’ve done it!

Benefits of a Ruined Orgasm

If done correctly, he will still be horny afterwards and will stay hard as a rock, still wanting more, even though he just ejaculated. Ruined orgasms are great when you want to give him an orgasm but still leave him horny when you lock him back up. Or, if you plan to have an all-night love-making session but you are afraid that he will cum to quickly, you can start your evening with a touchless orgasm.

He will experience no 'refractory period' after a ruined orgasm. Whereas a normal orgasm causes him to lose his erection and enter what  is called the “refractory period” where he is no longer motivated to  have sex, a ruined orgasm has the opposite effect – it causes him to  stay hard, fully aroused, hyper-energized, and HIGHLY motivated.

His recover period will be MUCH quicker, and if you have sex after a ruined orgasm, he will last must longer too!

Most of the benefits of a long period in chastity (for you - i.e. motivation, energy, increased oxytocin etc) will not be lost after a ruined orgasm.

How to give a Ruined Orgasm

I'll start by saying that there is no 'one right way'. But this is what I like to do...

SETUP:

Tell him to lie down on his back.

Ideally, restrain his hands behind his back, or tell him to lie on his hands. Most males can't be trusted to not touch their nub at the crux of the ruined orgasm! Tell him he is at no point allowed to touch his (your!) nub. Throw in a blindfold for fun, if you feel like it.

Tell him you are going to give him a ruined orgasm, and that he should not cum until you tell him he can.

TIP: If you don't feel like direct skin contact or don't want any 'mess', tell him to wear tight lycra shorts or swim briefs, and then stroke him through the fabric, rather than have him completely naked.

PROCESS:

With your male on his back, take one hand (i.e. my left hand), and grip his balls and pull them away from his body until his penis is pointing up at almost 90 degrees.

With your right hand's index finger, stroke upwards (from the balls to the tip of the nub) slowly and deliberately. his most sensitive part is the area on the underside of his nub just before the tip. Stop just short of this area. It's much harder for a male to orgasm with an upward stroke as opposed to a downward one.

Keep this motion up for a while. Don't speed up - slow and steady is what you want, so that you don't drive him over the edge too quickly.

Every 10-15 strokes, slowly rub the sensitive area a few times, or gave a few circles along the head of his nub, and then to go back to the slow upward stroking motion.

If you feel his balls contract, or his nub twitches, let go with both hands immediately. Tell him to not cum - "no cumming... don't cum yet". Or you can ask him to announce when he is getting close. When he says "I'm close", let go with both hands. Count to 20, and then pull his balls away again and start with the slow upward motion.

Eventually (or soon, depending on the lockup period!), even letting go completely will cause him to go over the edge. Don't stimulate him at all at this point. The cum should ooze gently from the tip of his nub and down the shaft - no spurting, no major twitching... a perfectly ruined orgasm.

ADDED EXTRA: The second you see any cum being released, tap / slap his balls with the flat of your hand for 20-30 seconds or until all of the cum has been released. Be careful not to touch the penis at this point, only the balls.

Tell him to clean up and re-lock his nub immediately.

Bravo - you've done it!

As mentioned, everyone does it differently, but this is a basic 101! Trust me, he will be begging you for more in no time!!

Pro Tip: If your male is caged and you don't wish to unlock him for a ruined orgasm, use a vibrator or vibrating massager and simply place it on the base ring of his cage, underneath his balls. The vibrations will eventually bring him to the point of orgasm. Ensure he tells you when he is close to climax. At this point, stop the vibrations and cease all contact. If you time it right, his cum with leak out of the front of the cage in a perfectly ruined orgasm.

[themodernmarriage]

Introducing Male Chastity Play

My name is Ella, I am 36 years old and I work for an insurance company. My husband, deliberately not named, is 37 years old and works as a   senior engineer. We have been happily married for 12 years, with two   daughters, and I am created this site to share my experiences and advice for Tease and Denial and Male Chastity. (If you are not married, please mentally replace husband with  boyfriend when reading this website, it all applies just the same.)   As you are reading this website, I am assuming your husband or boyfriend  has told you that he wants to try something called male chastity play with you, or you have heard about it somewhere and have suggested it to him. Either you have found this website through a search engine, or you have been sent the link. Your first reaction probably was surprise. Why would he want chastity? What  does he want me to do? 

Step 1: relax! When you read through these paragraphs   (I kept it short, I promise!) you  will understand why chastity is a fun, exciting idea for the two of you to try. You may find it’s simply that - a fun game to spice things up in your sex life. You may also   find that male chastity brings a new closeness and renewed desire to   you as a couple. Before you continue reading, make sure you have nothing  else planned for a little while and that you are not distracted by   anything. Relax, take your time, and try to be as open-minded as you can.                                          

To get started, I recommend reading this 101 article. You will need to make notes - digitally or on paper, as to do this properly there are some things you need to choose and then write down.                                           

After this 101, I do recommend you read through subsequent articles linked here, as there is more detail on some key topics, and the more you know, the better you will be at this!

But… First, what is male chastity play?                                           

Simply put, the man uses a so-called chastity device to lock his penis,  and then he gives the key to his partner, making her what is called a “keyholder”.  Chastity devices are sex toys made of plastic or metal that lock around  the penis, making it impossible for him to masturbate or get an erection. In chastity play, the keyholder  (you) has the power to decide when to unlock the device and when to  allow him sexual pleasure. That can be five times a day or five times a  year. The ‘game’ of it is the transmission of ‘power’ regarding his sexual pleasure.                                           

You may not typically be the ‘dominant’ sexual partner in the relationship, but in chastity play it is essential that you assume this position - even if you are just acting or role-playing initially until it becomes the norm. He is not giving you inanimate metal keys - he’s giving you possession to his sexual release and the position of power. Enjoy it! Embrace it and take charge.                                           

I have always  felt that being well informed about something enables you  to do it well. There is a lot on the internet on chastity, and there are several internet forums and chat rooms which seem to start up and die  down as people move around. I have communicated over the years with over  two dozen wives who keep their husbands locked. I have met several of  them in person and the one thing they all agreed on was that the benefits of chastity for their husbands were incredible. It may amaze  you, as it did me, to find out that so many men and women use chastity  as part of their relationship, really more than you could imagine. There  was a Canadian newspaper article in 2019 stating that 6% of men are  caged with the key given to their wife. This just goes to show that male  chastity is less rare than you probably thought and there is a lot of  it being practiced, probably by some of your girlfriends.       

There are two major types of chastity - ‘play’ and ‘lifestyle’. Play is relatively short term and used as part of sex play and diversity. Short term, in my view, falls into the category of 2-week to 3-month lock ups. This is where most couples’ chastity journeys start. It’s vital that the first lockup is at least 2-3 weeks, and is 24 hours a day for that period. Read why here. No ‘nighttime only’ or 'daytime only’ - the lockup period must be erection and orgasm free.

Even in short term play, chastity has to be  a 24/7 thing. 24/7 is the foundation; it is the  most positive/enjoyable/effective because the cage is a constant reminder about the power exchange. Most of the day, the male will forget about it and only be subconsciously aware that anything is different. However when they do get a tingle of sexual excitement - for whatever reason, Boom - they are reminded that their erections (and more importantly, sexual release) belongs to you. That’s what’s fun about Tease and Denial (T&D). Life  goes on as it always has, employment,  financial, family issues and decisions are all still there. But it’s a little secret you two share - a fun,  slightly ‘naughty’ way to mix up the relationship’s ‘sexual  dominance’.

What are the benefits of Male Chastity?                                    

The  motivation why a couple would want to begin with male chastity play is straightforward: It is simply a sexual   fantasy or sexual experimentation to mix things up. With the dramatic   rise in popularity in chastity play over the last five years - with   story arcs in mainstream media (Californication), articles in The Independent, Cosmopolitan,  Vice…), it may have piqued their interest as something fun to try.

he  large global movement called “Locktober” is practically everywhere, and is an  entry point for many males and females who want to experiment in this  way.                                          

 Or it is a matter of circumstance that allows for a different style of sexual ‘play’ - long distance relationships, work trips or  other reasons where vanilla lovemaking is limited/not possible.                                           

For  males, chastity play can be very VERY exciting. For the male, chastity play is about having a relationship   where male orgasms are limited but erotic heat is abundant. As part of the game, he  is giving up something that is a very standard part of a male’s life,  his freedom to masturbate. Young men have an abundance of testosterone,  so masturbation doesn’t  seem to interfere with their pursuit of young women. However, as men  grow older masturbating usually translates into the husband losing  sexual desire for at least a couple days. Male masturbation can create  an emotional  barrier in relationships and allows a man to remain somewhat  disconnected in a very selfish and self-serving way. Chastity puts a  stop to the masturbation and works in many ways; it  changes his mood, demeanor and libido.                                           

Males in chastity will almost always have   increased energy. Noticed he hits the gym more? Trimming the body fat? Need less sleep? More productive? Yup. Other changes will likely happen too. He will be more focused and task-oriented. Most  importantly it changes his desire to please you.  This is because as he continues to build up his sexual energy that he  no longer has the ability to release as he pleases, he will divert that  energy towards pleasing you - especially if he has asked you to be his keyholder, rather than you coming up with the idea to keep him locked. His non-stop offers of massages and oral  sex are a very  welcome side effect of the redirection of his sexual energy.                                           

What do I actually ‘do’ as a Keyholder?                                           

Chastity is just that, chastity. There is no need to entertain other kinks your husband may have if you don’t want to. In fact, it is likely  that your husband doesn’t even expect you to do anything more than hold his key. Just be yourself and do what you want. It doesn’t have to  become a time sink and your life doesn’t need to revolve around your husband’s desire for chastity.                                             

As counter-intuitive as it might sound, when you take away a man’s erections, orgasms and his ability to play with his cock whenever the mood strikes, he finds it very arousing. Chastity is a huge turn on.                                           

The sexual frustration a chaste man feels is intense, so intense he experiences a euphoric high from the change of control. That is why a guy becomes super-focused on his partner and the extreme arousal coupled with sexual frustration is what makes the chastity game so much fun for couples to play. The more aroused a locked male stays, the more he likes it. Teasing is what keeps a guy’s arousal at high levels.

Being a keyholder involves:                                           

1. Holding the keys and controlling when and how release takes place (see links)                                            2. Setting and communicating your keyholding rules at the start of the first lockup.                                            3. Teasing - to keep arousal in peak state throughout lockup.

Let’s look at some of this in more detail.                                           

Teasing                                           

You don’t have to be an expert at sexual teasing or spend loads of time  learning how to become one. Chastity with teasing keeps the arousal and positive energy / endorphins / oxytocin at ideal levels. Chastity without teasing will lead to frustration and grumpiness - pretty soon the game will be up.                                           

So, teasing is essential to keep your  husband’s arousal peaking, but there are plenty of simple ways to do  that which don’t require a lot of time. It’s important to remember that you and not him will be the one making  the (bedroom) decisions once he is locked. There are no fixed rules how  often you should test him, unlock him or let him ejaculate, and chastity does not  need to change your everyday life, certainly not outside of the bedroom.  I would suggest you give it a try and then just go with the flow.                                           

Teasing Ideas                                           

So how do you do ‘teasing’? I don’t mean making fun of him. We’re not in middle school. I mean  turning him on, only it’s teasing because he can’t get hard, let alone  have an orgasm. It’s the ultimate cock tease and it makes chastity play  so much more satisfying for you and your man.                                           

The great thing about male chastity play is how little effort it takes you, as the keyholder. My ideal teasing effort is 2-5 minutes a day, or every second day… mix it up. Make it a rule that he is not allowed to ask for it. In bed at night, roll over and tease for a bit. Then say goodnight. Other nights - do nothing, say nothing. That is half of the fun - for you and for him!                                            Look at the list below and jot down some of the ones that appeal to you…                                           

Some simple teasing ideas: 1: Non-physical - Talk about it: Talk about his chastity cage. Tell him you like how it looks, how tight it must be, how full his balls look… Ask him to show it to you as a 'cage check’ at random times… The simple act of talking about it will drive him crazy! Men are hilarious. - Choose his underwear for him. Tell him to wear a particular color, or tell him to wear the tight white ones, the compression shorts, swimsuit… or no underwear today…whatever. You’re taking control, and that’s hot. - Tell him to sleep naked every now and again - Even wear some sexy outfits and parading around will drive him crazy!                                           

2: Physical - Play with his balls. Even while locked, his balls are exposed, unless you have a full chastity belt where the balls are locked too. With his cock locked, his balls become infinitely more sensitive. Stroke / tickle to start, but then squeeze and pull. Then slap. Start slowly and build up the slapping in intensity, and tell him to tell you when to stop. Then start again..! Women are way too gentle with balls in general - most makes prefer far more rough play than they let on. Let him guide you if you are unsure.

- Play with the Cage: while most cages do a great job of making erections and orgasms impossible, playing with his cage is a great way to tease him. If it’s an enclosed cage (better in my view) then he will not be able to feel anything at all if you are stroking it - but he will imagine it and it will blow his mind. Any exposed parts will become hyper-sensitive, so touching them or poking/licking… you name it - will drive him the best kind of crazy.  

- Kissing:  It’s the fastest way to turn him on and he’ll never turn it down. Even  though he knows his cock is going to ache because it can’t get hard, he  loves to kiss. For added heat, hold his cage / balls while kissing.

- Body contact: Make him worship your body – This is an absolute must when he’s locked  up. He craves your body. He craves you. Have him worship it. Have him  kiss you all over. Have him give you a massage.

- Nipple play: men’s nipples are almost 5x more sensitive than female nipples. With his cock locked, his nipples will heighten in sensitivity further. You may have even noticed they stiffen or harden more quickly or for longer than usual. Play with them by using nipple clamps, clothespins or even just by pinching and squeezing. Be careful, some locked males have been known to cum from just nipple play alone!

- Shower with him: Ask him to rub lotion on you or whatever you prefer. Being locked naked with you in the shower will blow his mind. - ‘Have and Hold’: If you want to unlock him as part of teasing, a fun one is to make him stand next to the bed or across the room, and unlock the cage. Once the cage is off, he is not allowed to touch his cock. He will almost certainly get hard. You carry on with reading or whatever you were doing and tell him to inform you when he has gone soft. Make the odd comment and watch to see how easily you can make him react. As soon as he is soft, tell him to relock the cage.

- Anal play: You may know that men have a P-spot near their prostate which is similar to the female G-spot, although most hetersexual males never use it. My husband is not into anal play, so I don’t have much experience there, but there are some incredible resources out there if it’s your cup of tea!

- Finally, if you want to play with his cock while unlocked as part of teasing, I’ll drop some notes on the ‘Release’ over here. Focus on edging and the touchless release (if you really want to give him a treat). Remember - teasing means no cumming. A little bit every day or every couple of days will form the foundation of your chastity play!                                           

Basic Keyholder Rules                                           

At the start of the first lockup, you need to set rules. Writing them down and send them to him on email or text message is the easiest. That way he has them at all times. And send them to him at work while he’s locked and you will really get him squirming! Or you can inform him in person. These are your rules and are not a discussion - he has asked you to be the keyholder, so he must play by your rules or you call the whole thing off.                                           

The most typical rules for keyholders are as simple as this:                                  

The Wife can choose the chastity device.                                           

It’s not called a cock or penis or whatever when it’s locked. Come up with a name for his locked cock. Tell him that is what it is called from now on. The most common name is  'nub’, so feel free to use that. And it’s 'your’ nub, your balls etc, not his. Make sure he gets that right.                                           

The Wife will hold the keys to the chastity device and will not make them accessible to the Husband.                                           

The Wife decides when the Husband will be unlocked, allowed and erection, or allowed release. Separate the concept of 'unlock= orgasm or'unlock=erection’. In most cases it’s none of those.                                          

The Husband will not ask for release and there will be no discussions about chastity unless the Wife brings it up. Infringements can be extending lockup or some other forfeit ;)                                           

Chastity play will not intrude into the Wife’s daily life or restrict her own sexual satisfaction.                                           

The couple will give chastity a try for at least 3 months. First timers should lockup for 3 weeks at least and then evaluate / discuss. The keyholder does not have to (and should not) tell the planned release date. Keep him guessing.

That’s it: give it a go!                                           

Give it a shot! You don’t have anything to lose, it may add a new level  of intimacy to your relationship, and you will have a lot of fun doing  it. I promise. Show your love to your husband, have sex freely and  frequently, tease him, be playful and enjoy each other. The only thing  you need to do is control is his ejaculations. Getting comfortable with  male chastity can be challenging at first but it won’t be long until it  becomes a normal everyday component of your relationship. Having talked  to many women, the most common regret was that they didn’t start male chastity much earlier!

[themodernmarriage]

Teasing in T&D or Chastity Play!

A girl doesn’t feel like playing all the time and chastity gets sort of ruined if you let him out every time you don’t feel very frisky. On the other side of the spectrum, simply ignoring him while in chastity is actually the most cruel, effective punishment for a locked man who is not behaving or who is constantly breaking your rules.                                           

So what do you do to get through the dead spots (for me it’s mostly if I’m really tired, stressed or busy) without being neglectful? After three or so years of playing this game with my wonderful husband, I’ve observed the following about the two of us and extrapolated it to apply to everyone since everyone else is exactly like us, I’m sure.                                           

Part of the magic of chastity play is that the male, who usually has the higher sex drive, is “playing” 24/7. He’s eating, sleeping, going to work, everything really with his penis locked up. Any stray sexual thought quickly reminds him about the game he’s playing. His keyholder probably has a lower libido but that’s okay because she just has to give him the occasional nudge to keep him at a full simmer. A little bit of attention on the days when you just don’t feel very playful will keep him happy and from feeling neglected until you’re a little more enthusiastic and ready to turn the heat up to a full boil.

Here are some of my tips for low maintenance chastity play. I try to make sure I do some combination of these every day when the nub is locked up. They take hardly any time, and I know they make him feel loved. They’re little things that get magnified in his mind by the cage.                                           

Fondle his balls every day. Ideally once in the morning and once at night. No matter how busy or tired I am, I can always find two minutes in bed to do this. I don’t even have to remove the CB. Our sleep schedules are a little different. He’s a night owl and I’m a morning person, but that doesn’t stop us. When I’m going to bed I just whisper in his ear that I want to see him in the bedroom. He never says no! I fondle his poor trapped balls for a few minutes (two to five is plenty) and then say good night. He can go back to his computer after that. If I feel like kissing a bit, I can do that, but if I don’t I just tell him to lie there and keep still while I “play with my nub” I wake up before he does in the mornings too. But he never seems to mind if I wake him up by playing with his balls! Again, just a few minutes. Enough to get a groan or two out of him and then I go take my shower or get my breakfast.                                           

Remind him of his situation. Of course he already knows he’s locked up and you have the key, but reminding him lets him know you’re thinking about him. You haven’t forgotten about him, you’re just waiting for the right time to make use of him. I’ll walk by him in the kitchen, give him a quick squeeze in front and ask “how is my nub doing? Still all locked up?” Or I might just say “being a keyholder is fun.” Or “Aren’t you lucky to have such a fabulous keyholder?” I’ve noticed that the more out-of-the-blue the comment is the bigger the impact it has on him. If he’s not really thinking about sex or expecting me to be thinking about it, mentioning his chastity jolts his libido into high gear.                                           

Take possession of his (your!) nub. Get in the habit of referring to his cock and balls as yours. Kiss him and ask “how is my nub doing down there?” Or while sitting on the couch fast forwarding through a commercial with your Tivo, casually ask him “Are you taking good care of my nub darling? One of these days I’m sure I’ll want to play with it.” If you get in this habit, then just a few words here and there add to his excitement and keep him happy and horny.                                           

Turn routine requests into chastity play - for example talk about it in terms of ‘points’ . Instead of asking him to pick up a gallon of milk on his way home, text him “Your keyholder wants to you pick up a gallon of milk on the way home.” Or say “a neck rub would earn you some much needed nub points.” Creating the fantasy that you are holding his release hostage to your whims is pretty powerful. Keep it fantasy and don’t abuse it (very much). Back rubs and foot rubs are nice even when I don’t feel very amorous, but they’re still physical things and he really likes it when I tie them to his chastity.                                           

Take chastity seriously. Don’t leave the key laying around or act like it’s no big deal if he gets out before you’re ready to release him. Do surprise “inspections” to make sure he’s still locked up. Ask him if he’s tried to get out, or tried to get at the key without permission. Use a no-nonsense manner to let him know it’s important to you that he only get out of his chastity device when you want him out. Every once in a while mention you’d someday like to get a more secure device. That keeps him from starting to doubt your commitment to the game when you haven’t seriously teased him for a while. Remember that’s he’s committed 24/7. The whole idea is he can’t check out of the game until you let him, so reminding him that you’re still in it helps.   

Muse about the length of his lockup. Sometimes I’ll tell him that I’ve decided to let him out the next weekend, then the next night tell him I’ve changed my mind and I don’t know when I’ll let him out. Sometimes I’ll tell him I’ve been wondering how long I should leave him locked up and just leave it at that. Tell him how you are noticing the benefits. No further information, just that I was thinking about it. I’ll ask him if he thinks he could go six months, or a year. If he asks if I’m planning to keep him locked up that long, I’ll just shrug and say “maybe.” It’s another verbal tease that takes very little energy from me but amps him up.                                           

None of those things take much time or energy from me. They’re easy to do on days when I’m stressed or tired or just not feeling very sexual. And they keep him feeling loved and cared for. I’ve really gotten into the habit of doing them. So much that I usually keep doing them even when he isn’t locked up. That’s not really a problem, but if he wakes up to my hand on his balls and he’s not locked up, I’m not getting out of bed without finishing what I started! Of course that just makes his lockups even more delightful for both of us.                                           

More Teasing Ideas                                           

The big changes that you must make in yourself to make a chastity relationship work is to commit to frequently teasing him, like you no doubt did when you first dated, and to having much more frequent sex yourself.                                           

Teasing does not need to be a time-consuming activity.  There are almost an infinite number of ways that you can tease him, both  physically and verbally. Every woman needs to develop her own style.  You can keep things fresh by continuing to experiment. It may seem like a  lot of work sometimes, but he will shower you with attention. The  hardest thing will be getting that much attention again.                                           

There are some basic teasing ideas in the 101 article above. Find more low maintenance examples for how you can tease him here:                                           

Be physical, give him lots of kisses and hugs throughout the day. Grab his crotch.                                           

Ask him to give you a full-body massage.                                          

You can wear sexy clothes around him, for example miniskirts, yoga  pants or whatever clothes he really likes. When you’re home you can walk  around just in your underwear – I promise you he won’t be able to take  his eyes off you!                                           

Conversation takes very little energy and allows you to increase his  arousal without having to do anything. Telling him what you like about  his predicament, letting him know how much you appreciate what he has  done to become a better spouse, partner, friend, and lover. Let him know  how his being chaste turns you on, if seeing him struggle to get erect  entertains you let him know. Maybe you find his penis cuter when it’s  all small and locked, or you enjoy his not being able to touch himself,  whatever it is communicate it. You should also not forget that all  those things that used to drive you crazy like porn and ogling young  girls can now be used against him. There is nothing like knowing that  the chastity tube is really biting as his favourite eye candy passes by.  The beauty of a good chastity device is that not only does it prevent  him from getting an erection and masturbating but that the device is  always working for you, and you should let him know how happy it makes  you.                                           

You can tease him about his lock-up time, for example you could say  things such as “it’s so hot that you can’t touch your penis, I don’t  think I will ever let you masturbate again”, “your penis looks so sexy  when it’s locked, I think I’ll keep it like that for a bit longer”,  “these balls don’t look full enough yet, let’s wait a bit more” – and  then when you finally let him ejaculate you can follow up with “oh not  much came out, I think next time you need to wait longer”. Remind him  that he’d better be good if he wants to be unlocked.                                          

Play around with his locked genitals whenever you get the chance.  For example, when he sits next to you, simply squeeze or slap his  balls. When locked, he will want his balls ‘slapped’, not'stroked’. Use a flat hand and start slowly, building up intensity. Even better, use a bonger (massage ball with handle) or riding crop. Tell him at the start you want to reach 100. This is great teasing play because it takes a couple of minutes max and then you can say goodnight!                                          

Or you could give him a very frustrating “blowjob” with the  chastity device still attached – teasing him orally while locked will  drive him crazy like nothing else.                                           

Pinch / twist his nipples. Men’s nipples are almost 5x more sensitive than female nipples. With his cock locked, his nipples will heighten in sensitivity further. You may have even noticed they stiffen or harden more quickly or for longer than usual. Play with them by using nipple clamps, clothespins or even just by pinching and squeezing. Be careful, some locked males have been known to cum from just nipple play alone!                                           

Give a man an orgasm and he’ll forget it in a moment – deny him the  same orgasm and he’ll never stop thinking about it. You can unlock him  and allow him to masturbate or give him a handjob – however, at any  point (especially effective just before he is about to finish), you can  “change your mind”. Kindly tell him “let’s save it for later” or “that’s  all for now”. You may find that you have to ice down his penis to get  back in the tube!                                          

Tell him to go down on you while he is locked in his chastity  device.