The Big Boss of Hell himself

Charlie, how does this work?

[getlucifertherapy]

Hello sinner, welcome to the greatest Tumblr blog in history.

If you’re wondering how this happened, I lost a bet to Lumen, now I have to put up with everyone’s “lovely” comments…

Yeah… let’s get down to the basics. Lucifer’s taking questions now. I’m Lumen, I just keep Lucifer from crashing and burning the blog.

RULES:

Don’t be seriously rude or hurtful.

Dont be overly thirsty for him, please. It’ll make me uncomfortable, which leads to Lucifer being uncomfortable.

Be you.

OTHER BLOGS:

@theelectrichighlighter (The mothership, aka my main acc)

@thanksalotangel (Ask Angel Dust blog)

You will see updates to all this as we move forward, but we look forward to seeing your asks!

[getlucifertherapy]

LUCIII, I'M SORRY THAT I BLEW UP YOUR GARAGE-

I… don’t have a garage. WHO’S GARAGE DID YOU BLOW UP?!

[getlucifertherapy]

im a duck actually. i really am. im not even joking. actually.

quack

If you are, then say something only a duck would know!

[getlucifertherapy]

Santa loves me the most.

…what…?

[getlucifertherapy]

Why do people want to marry you? You aren't marriable. - your VERY awesome older brother Michael

You’re one to be talking! At least I can get people!

[getlucifertherapy]

(I had to look up Gen Z slang words lol)

Lucifer, can you be my Ohio sigma rizzler uwu girl alpha male skibidi toilet ultimate gyatt fanum taxer sus no cap babygirl pookie valentine

I leave for a few weeks, and this is the bs I return to?

[the-king-of-hell-66-6]

duck sounds tasty as hell idk what you're on about

-𖤍

Oh no.

@getlucifertherapy GO BACK TO HIM!! SHOO!!!

[getlucifertherapy]

You can keep them.

[the-king-of-hell-66-6]

What do you mean I can keep them?!? THEY’RE YOUR CREEPS!

[getlucifertherapy]

And I don’t want them. They’re creepy as hell. They all talk about eating ducks, and how duck mating works, and they simp over me, and somehow manage to make me uncomfortable in ways I didn’t think were possible.

[getlucifertherapy]

LUCI IM GETTING YOU THERAPY! AND YOU CANT STOP ME!!!!

NO THE FUCK YOU WONT!

[getlucifertherapy]

CACKLING IM SORRY WIFE also yes, you're my wife now, bc I said so (SO SORRY FOR THE PERSON BEHIND THIS BLOG LMFAO POOR LUCI-) -𖤍

*casually dials 911*

(Don’t worry, I share these ones specifically with my friends, bc it makes me laugh hysterically.)

[getlucifertherapy]

What’s your favorite animal to shift into?

I’ll let you guess on that one.

[getlucifertherapy]

Brother I told our siblings that we can reproduce and now I think Gabriel and St. Peter might be... trying to become parents.

I have lost sleep due to their attempts.

A-are you implying what I think-

TELL THEM IT REQUIRES TWO OPPOSITE GENDERS!

[getlucifertherapy]

LUCIFER I AM TRAUMATIZED!!!

My girlfriend just ripped the head off a rubber duck... I might cry 😭

How very disrespectful!

[getlucifertherapy]

I have 200 ducks

here *hands you ducks* :>

Excellent. An army. Now let’s go conquer Alastor’s part of the hotel.

[getlucifertherapy]

It’s not quite ducks but I recommend that you play the Untitled Goose Game, where you are a very annoying goose messing with the humans in town.

That’s an amazing game concept!

But it’d be better if it were ducks.

[getlucifertherapy]

take a duck. I have to many right now. I need to expand our base quarters for the duck army before I can house more. take this one in the mean time.

YIPPEE! A DUCK!

[getlucifertherapy]

Hi guys, Lumen here

I am SO so very sorry about the delay on asks. I’ve just lost motivations. I’m gonna try and pick asks back up again though.

[getlucifertherapy]

Lu, I found these at Walmart. ya' want them?

Obviously!