That edgy kid in a hoodie

Mars | Minor | She/Her | lesbian  | single as a mf pringle | aesthetic moodboards acc @aesthetic-vibes18 | art acc @these_empty_lights | clownn_town on instagram | i like the emo bands and perhaps homestuck | feel free to message me, just don't be creepy | DNI: TERFS, lgbtq-phobes, trump supporters, neo-nazis, NSFW blogs, racists, just in general assholes.

[xxxsarihartxxx]

[theshit4chansays]

Graweedy Falls

[clyderwasfunwhileitlasted]

literally have had this queued for a year

[myapogee]

[lainsim-deactivated20251111]

In honor of the holiday

[nomisupernova-deactivated202201]

Y’all gonna just forget Nichijoint like that?

[the-moulting-eidolon]

[bace-jeleren]

This is the only obnoxious weed joke post I’ll post all 4/20 but some of these are legitimately funny

[lesbianora]

Queued for a whole year cunts, greetings from 2019

[mean-and-gay]

Dedication

[timestables]

say hello to Papaya

[baapi-makwa]

I dont think I've ever seen more Bernie pics than I did today and it's the one pic over and over and over again

[baapi-makwa]

I think this one's my favorite

[secretoctopus-deactivated201912]

[standupcomedyblog]

John Mulaney | The Salt & Pepper Diner

[eclipsebykimlipmp3-deactivated2]

THE BEST JOKE IN EXISTENCE

[danfuckedoffbutreturns]

GOD I JUST TOLD SOMEONE ABOUT THIS STORY

[andlifeisgrand-deactivated20160]

This is one of the best pieces of comedy that I have ever had the pleasure of witnessing. I love this. I have been looking for this online for awhile.

[thesporkidentity]

[Audio transcription: I wanted to tell you one story. Uh. This is the story of the best meal I’ve ever had in my life, okay. Happened when I was eleven years old in Chicago, IL where I grew up. I went to a place called the Salt & Pepper Diner, uh, with my best friend John. We walk into the diner one day, and they had a jukebox there, okay? And the jukebox was three plays for a dollar. So we put in 7 dollars and selected 21 plays of of Tom Jones’s What’s New Pussycat. And then we ordered and waited. 

Here’s the thing about when, uh, What’s New Pussycat plays over and over and over and over and over again. The second time it plays, your immediate thought is not ‘hey someone’s playing What’s New Pussycat again.’ It’s ‘hey, What’s New Pussycat is a lot longer than I first thought. The third time it plays you’re thinking maybe someone’s playing What’s New Pussycat again. The fourth time it plays you’re either thinking ‘whoa someone just played What’s New Pussycat FOUR TIMES or at least someone played it twice, and it’s a really long song.’ So the fifth time is the kicker, alright? 

Now, John and I we’re watching the entire diner at this point, alright? Most people have gotten wind as to what’s going on. And we’re staring at this one guy and he’s sitting in like a booth with his stupid kids jumping around, and he’s like staring at his coffee cup like this, and he’s been onto us since the beginning. And he’s sitting there, and his hand is shaking, and he had this look on his face like, aw, like he had just gotten his thirty day chip from anger management. And he’s staring like this, and the fourth song fades out. It’s dead quiet. Then, I don’t know if you know this, but the song begins very quietly…

BWAAAH BWAAAAAH WHAT’S NEW PUSSYCAT and he goes GOD DAMN IT and pounds on the table, silverware flies everywhere, and it was fantastic. But a word about my best friend John and what a genius he was because when we first walked into the diner, okay? When we first got there and I’m punching in the What’s New Pussycats alright? I’ve punched in like 7 at this point then John says to me ‘hey hey hey before you punch in another What’s New Pussycat let’s drop in one It’s Not Unusual.’

Oh yes. That is when the afternoon went from good to great. After seven What’s New Pussycats. In a row - It played seven times. Suddenly - Dum da dum, IT’S NOT UNUSUAL and the sigh of relief that swept through the diner. People were so happy. It was like the liberation of France. You know for years scientists have wondered can you make grown men and women weep tears of joy by playing Tom Jones’s It’s Not Unusual and the answer is yes you can. Provided that it is preceded by seven What’s New Pussycats. It’s true. Dead honest.

And on the other hand. When we went back. Holy shit. It’s Not Unusual fade out. It’s dead quiet. BWAAAH BWAAAAH WHAT’S NEW PUSSYCAT people went insane. People went out of their minds. No one could handle it. No one could handle it. And they were surrounded by this seemingly indifferent staff that was just like ‘yup some crap as always.’ 

They unplugged the jukebox after eleven plays. And that was the best meal I ever had.]

[justlookatthosesausages]

reblogging again coz this time it has audio transcription (bless you) and it’s still forever hilarious omg

[nodevolucion]

AAH

[current-mcr-news]

instagram story by mikeyway

[Jan 22, 2021]

[alexandergaskarths]

when ur father takes u into the city to see a marching band but instead all u see is an inauguration lmao

[ghost-slut18]

someone send some asks telling me abt tumblr news since i took a random ass break out of nowhere pls and thank u

[terribleincorrectdr-archive]

Hajime: [lawyer voice] the prosecution makes a compelling argument, but have you considered this *puts middle finger up*

[baapi-makwa]

I dont think I've ever seen more Bernie pics than I did today and it's the one pic over and over and over again

[baapi-makwa]

I think this one's my favorite

[ghost-slut18]

lmao yall thought u seen the last of me

[ghost-slut18]

anyways my new interests are homestuck and danganronpa pls dont kill me lol

[ghost-slut18]

lmao yall thought u seen the last of me

[fozzie]

theres “i ship rare pairs” and then theres “i would rather ship a boy and a girl who have barely ever spoken in canon than ship two girls or two boys who are constantly there for each other and very emotionally close” and theres “i would rather ship two white boys who have barely ever spoken in canon than ship a white boy with a girl of color because i refuse to relate to her and i fetishize mlm relationships” etc

[tastefullyoffensive]

[assassinationtipsforladies]

Fun fact: Dolly Parton is not blonde. All her blonde dos are wigs. When she goes out with her husband, because he doesn’t want to be in the public eye, she has her real hair and wears more typical middle aged southern lady outfits and people just…. Don’t recognise her. She just Clark Kents her way into maintaining a private life.

[spinja]

She’s the real life Hannah Montana

[miss-jayjayy]

Wasn’t she Hannah Montana’s aunt 😭?

[aphony-cree]

I have to add some details because their story is pretty cute

At 18 Dolly moved to Nashville. The very first day she was there she met a guy outside the Wishy Washy Laundromat. Her husband, Carl Dean, has said “My first thought was I’m gonna marry that girl. My second thought was, ‘Lord she’s good lookin.’" 

After 2 years of dating they wanted to get married but her record label said no because women are more profitable if they’re single. They eloped at a little church before the label could stop them and put off their honeymoon so Dolly could focus on work

In 1966 Carl accompanied her to a dinner/awards ceremony, it was his first time going to an industry event. After the dinner he said to his wife “Dolly, I want you to have everything you want, and I’m happy for you, but don’t you ever ask me to go to another one of them dang things again!’” And she never did

He lives a quiet life in Nashville and runs an asphalt business

For their 50th anniversary they renewed their vows at their home in front of family and friends, it was the wedding they’d wanted but couldn’t have when they first got married

[official-mugi]

I know the tweet is supposed to be some kind of “haha men bad” but honestly he’s the goals there. You have a great and super rich wife and no one ever bothers you

[greenishness]

in case you were wondering as of november 10 you have to go to page 54 of the supernatural tag on ao3 until you see fics that were published before november 5

[helioark]

someone has written one where dean owns the four seasons total landscaping and castiel works at the sex shop

[afeelgoodblog]

After seeing the dad how do I channel, I really wanted this one. I searched for it and, tada! Mom how do I? Seems rather new, but I love it anyway.

[cloudfreed]

This is such a cute and helpful idea, especially since some people either didn’t grow up with someone who could teach them this stuff or they grew up with parents who did everything for them. I knew a lot of guys in college who didn’t know how to do laundry or cook!

[w00dchips]

Mom How Do I

Dad How Do I