Any true World Wrestling Federation fan knows the tragic story of Kane’s life. There's probably not a fan out there who has not at one time or another felt sympathy for or outrage over the tortured existence Kane has led.
A fire, set by his own half-brother Undertaker, killed his mother and left him disfigured. His father Paul Bearer then locked him away in a basement, robbing him of the innocent, carefree days of childhood. Bearer brough the adult Kane into the Federation, where despite his strong and intimidating presence, he was a perfect target for master manipulators. Undertaker and his father Bearer, Federation owner Vince McMahon, X-Pac and Tori victimized Kane again and again.
Victims of abuse–be it physical, psychological or a combination of the two–often go through a series of stages in order to heal. However, some victims get stuck at one stage and are never fully able to recover from an abusive past. They stay in the land of denial or anger, which ultimately tears them apart inside. The key to complete recovery lies in the victim’s ability to accept the unjust hand life has dealt. With acceptance comes a chance for success and survival.
Innocence
Torn from me without your shelter
Barred reality
I’m living blindly
I’m in hell without you
Cannot cope without you two
Shocked at the world that I see
Innocent victim please rescue me
-Metallica, “Dyers Eve”
Denial: This is the first stage, when the victim denies the abuse ever happened or claims that it wasn’t “that bad.” Kane has spent almost a lifetime in denial. Although his father Paul Bearer was the most evil of his abusers, Kane still abided by his father’s commands, doing his dirty work. When Undertaker revealed it was he who was behind the fire that permanently scarred him and killed his mother, for quite some time afterward, Kane stood by his brother. Coming to his defense.
However, once other WWF Superstars, as well as Vince McMahon, toyed and twisted his vulnerable psyche, Kane broke out of this denial stage and unleashed viciousness, rage and unparalleled anger toward the world.
My life suffocates
Planting seeds of hate
I’ve loved, turned to hate
Trapped far beyond my fate
I give
You take
This life that I forsake
Been cheated of my youth
You turned this lie to truth
Anger
Misery
You’ll suffer unto me
-Metallica “Harvester of Sorrow”
Anger: Once denial wanes, anger often sets in. The victim will get angry at everyone and everything around him–including himself–until he finally gets angry at his abusers. This stage is very delicate, because the victim can slip into a depressed state, where he becomes anti-social and can even inflict self-harm.
Kane has been depressed for a long time and isolated himself from the world. In that time, he earned the labels “Big Red —----,” “monster” and “sociopath.” However, Kane is far from the embodiment of those tags–he is quite simply amman who has been to hell and back.
He has remained angry for some time now, going after all that cross his path. But Kane is typical of many who remain in this place of rage–venting his pent-up rage on all except his half-brother. Kane is displacing his anger. Not too long ago, he went after Chris Jericho, who had accidentally spilled coffee on him, claiming the feud was really over “Y2J’s” unscathed good-looks. This triggered not only Kane’s grief and anger over his physical scars from the fire, but also the deep seared grief over the loss of his mother in that fatal fire years ago.
If Kane remains in an angry state, one of two things will happen: He will either live a life trapped in complete and total anger, never seeing beyond its red, heated glare; or he will fall into a depression, from which he might never recover. If Kane is truly to heal, he must get beyond the anger and move to the next stage.
I don’t know how to live through this hell
Woken up,
I’m still locked in this shell
Frozen soul, frozen down to the core
Break the ice,
I can’t take anymore
-Metallica “Trapped Under Ice”
Acceptance: This is the hardest stage of all, for it is the one final step before actual healing can begin, before the self can be reclaimed. It hinges upon accepting the fact that wrongs have been perpetrated upon the victim and that life isn’t always fair. It is understanding that people can be cruel and heartless, but the abuse is not a reflection of one’s self-worth. This is the time when the victim looks at his past, looks the abuse straight in the face and decides he is no longer going to allow it to run his life. This is when the victim begins the transformation to survivor and begins to live for himself, not for his pain.
Kane needs to reach this place. He needs to find the courage to look at the evil action of his family, at the betrayals of others, and accept that despite all that happened, he is worthy of love and respect, and has a lot to offer.
Kane has a choice. He is not a victim anymore and it is up to him whether or not he will remain one.
If he chooses to accept his past and move on, then he will be the next World Wrestling Federation Champion. Having survived such a torturous life, Kane will have strength of spirit incomparable to any Superstar in the WWF roster. What Kane will discover is that in his suffering there lies a gift, one amazing and rare. He will find that, despite the fact the abuse he endured stripped away pieces of himself, there is another side of him that only those who have overcome tragedy can find. And that strength supercedes any physical or mental force–it is a spiritual strength, one that is absolutely indescribable. If Kane finds this gift within himself, nothing will ever be able to stop him.
However, if he chooses to stay trapped in a world of anger, resentment and hatred, he will wither and die inside. He will no longer be Kane, but will indeed become the monster he’s been tagged as. If Kane doesn’t move on, he can say goodbye to any future with the Federation and the only time he will come close to the World Wrestling Federation Championship is when hell freezes over.
“Here’s the thing, people are going to try to bring you down. People will see you doing things they wish they could. They’re going to see you going to school, working a great job, making more money, having a sexier body, dating the dream girl, and living life to the fullest. They’re going to see you have fun, going out on Friday nights and making homemade breakfast on Saturday morning. They’re going to see you work your ass off, in the gym, at home, at work. They’re going to be jealous. They’re going to hate you. They’re going to wish they were you. People are nasty fucking creatures. I know. I’ve been that person before. But you have to be better than that. You have to keep your head high. You have to keep setting that alarm clock, working overtime, drinking more water, and paying your bills. Keep going. People are going to hate you more. But who the fuck cares. When they send you horrible messages, know that it takes a horrible person to be able to say such things. Don’t falter. Don’t reply. Don’t do anything. Absence of response is the greatest “fuck you” you can possibly give. But even better than that, it’s the greatest way to prove that you are better than that, you are better than them. You are a worthy human being. Keep letting them hate you. Keep breathing. And let it go.”
“Lately I’ve been thinking about who I want to love, and how I want to love, and why I want to love the way I want to love, and what I need to learn to love that way, and who I need to become to become the kind of love I want to be…….and when I break it all down, when I whittle it into a single breath, it essentially comes out like this: Before I die, I want to be somebody’s favorite hiding place, the place they can put everything they know they need to survive, every secret, every solitude, every nervous prayer, and be absolutely certain I will keep it safe. I will keep it safe.”
— Andrea Gibson - From Bone Burying (via watchoutforintellect)
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