Prelude in Speed-Sharp Minor

I am inimitable, I am an original

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I am inimitable, I am an original.

Aaron Burr

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That moment when your inspiration tells you you're their inspiration...

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There are no limits

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I am sure of this, that he who started a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.

Philippians 1:6

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It does no harm to the romance of the sunset to know a little about it.

"Pale Blue Dot," Carl Sagan

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I think music in itself is healing. It's an explosive expression of humanity. It's something we are all touched by. No matter what culture we're from, everyone loves music.

Billy Joel

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Success is being in charge of your lifestyle and creating something you're proud of, surrounded by people you love.

Troye Sivan

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"Everyone shall sit under their own vine and fig tree, and no one shall make them afraid."

Micah 4:4

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If you have a great idea, don't be afraid; it is worth sharing.

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😊 because it happened.

I had been looking forward to these two weeks at University of Miami for the longest time, and now, I don’t even know how it went by so fast. I can’t begin to explain what a valuable experience this was for me. To put it simply, I became a better musician in these two weeks, and I think I accomplished more than I’ve even done in a year. I’m most thankful that I was surrounded by talented musicians, worked with the most amazing teachers, and came to this music school every day. Finishing it all off with two concerts, I can say the camp was everything I expected it to be, and more.

Frost School of Music is a place unlike any other. I knew it was a good music school, and I visited the campus once, but I didn’t know much about what it had to offer. I learned that UM Frost is actually one of the top music schools in the United States. It’s highly regarded for being a well-rounded music school and offering areas of study for every genre and instrument. I was super excited to immerse myself in the piano program, which was formerly directed by Dr. Paul Posnak, and also to try my hand at chamber music as part of the Young Musicians’ Camp Advanced Honors Chamber Music Program. Being in the classrooms, meeting college professors, and using the practice rooms every day let me get a feel for what it’s like to be a student at UM Frost. It made me love the school more and more each day. I could truly envision myself going to school here one day. 

Coming into this summer program, I had no prior experience with chamber music. I had only ever done solo piano (and duets a few times), so I was ecstatic about making my debut in chamber music. I was in a piano quartet, so every day I rehearsed with our violinist, violist, and cellist. At first, it was challenging to bring our parts together and sound harmonious, but thanks to help from our amazing instructors especially Dr. Posnak, we worked together and soon the music was sounding great. The four of us constantly worked on alternating between who has the melody line and who is playing in the background, something I’m not used to doing with solo piano. For me, the chamber music program was a way for me to expand my learning and enjoy a new kind of music. I am proud of our quartet and how awesome our performances of “The Entertainer” and “Nessun Dorma” turned out. S/o to them for being the best team I could have!!

Speaking of performances… I can easily say the concerts were the absolute best part of the whole camp. No feeling compares to when I was in Clarke Concert Hall, sitting at the beautiful grand piano, ready to play. It was indescribable. I had to the soak in the moment because I could not believe I was on that stage! I gave one of the best performances I’ve ever had in my piano duet, Mozart’s Sonata in F Major for 4 hands. I am so happy with that performance. It was the best we ever played it, and that’s such a fantastic piece that I enjoyed learning. I performed in a second concert where I played Brahms Hungarian Dance No. 5 with one of my camp teachers. This piece is a completely different style from the Mozart Sonata, but it was energetic performance that I’m also really proud of! I’d like to give a huge thank you to her and Dr. Posnak and the teachers I had during this camp. I couldn’t have learned so much and done so well in the concerts without them and the preparation they gave me. I also want to thank all the wonderful musicians I met here, because spending my two weeks here with all of you was what made this camp a truly unique place. Big-time s/o to “the piano squad.” Although we were a small group, I created some long-lasting friendships and I’m thankful for the encouragement we gave each other and the fun times we had. I don’t know what I’m going to do without you guys. I will miss you like crazy.

It was hard to say goodbye when camp was over. The concerts were so fantastic and everything, but now I had to leave this school and say goodbye to my teachers and my friends. I was not expecting these two weeks to come to an end so fast. It was a bittersweet moment. I’m so grateful for the once-in-a-lifetime, unforgettable experience I had at Frost School of Music. I already miss everything about it, but I will surely remember every second of it. I like to say, if there’s anything I did more at this camp than play piano, it was laugh. And those laughs and good times are what I will cherish the most.

I turn back to this quote by Dr. Seuss:

“Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.”

😊

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...Finish Stronger.

“The first step to achieving the impossible is to believe it’s possible.” ~ Alice Kingsleigh

It’s hard to believe my first year of high school is over. I was not expecting it to end so quickly.

It’s seems like just yesterday I came to this new school, but I can easily say I don’t feel new anymore. I’m thrilled with everything I accomplished this year. I had fantastic teachers who I learned so much from. I met many other awesome students and made several close friends who I’m so thankful for. I saw coming to this new school as an opportunity for me to do my best on a bigger and better stage. Joining a new community and belonging to a one-of-a-kind team are experiences I'm truly lucky to have.

Besides wrapping up the school year strong, I am super proud with how I concluded my year in piano. I know I haven’t written much since my competition back in April - May is just a crazy busy month for music. But all the time and effort I put in since last summer certainly payed off at this year’s National Piano-Playing Guild Auditions on May 20th. In my seventh year of the National Auditions and sixth consecutive year on the National Roll, I performed the best ten-piece program I ever had before. My whole program was wonderful, and don’t even get me started on my Rachmaninoff... it was literally flawless. Never played that piece so perfectly in my life. I was so proud with how it finally turned out, considering how much I worked on it since last July. I earned my certificate with my highest, most bomb score ever in the Auditions: 42 C’s, 0 A’s.

Aside from the Guild Auditions, a lot of other awesome things happened, like when I earned a scholarship from Broward County Music Teachers to my summer program at University of Miami Frost School of Music. Later on in June, I competed in a BCMTA High School Piano Competition, where I received more helpful feedback on my pieces. I also performed in my piano teacher’s studio recital, took home the Virtuoso Award for the fourth year in a row, and played at Covenant Village of Florida in Plantation. In May, I performed in my school’s final guitar concert, which was wonderful but also sad because our teacher is leaving the school and this was his last show with us. He sure left a lasting impact on me as a passionate musician, and I will always look up to him. 

I recently celebrated my 15th birthday on May 28 (see the cool thing with having an end-of-May birthday is that along with all the other end-of-the-year things, it’s always like “yay, it’s my birthday!!!🎈) I spent my birthday competing at the Flo Golden South Classic in Clermont, FL. It was pretty cool to race at such a big competition at the National Training Center. After concluding my track season, I spent the rest of the weekend in Orlando, so I definitely enjoyed my birthday weekend😎 I learned a lot about myself in my first year of high school running. Yes, now I know racing a 5k is a lot harder than it sounds, but I learned the importance of teamwork and what it truly means to be a teammate. Having an actual team and coaching staff by my side in every practice and every meet was new to me this year, and I’m so proud of all of us and what we achieved this year. The sky is certainly the limit when you have a group of strong runners and good friends around you.

So now I’m looking forward to taking a nice long break from school and having a fun-filled, relaxing summer. I know 10th grade is going to be an even better year than 9th grade, but let’s not get to far ahead of ourselves. Obviously the highlight of my summer is my music program at University of Miami! I am so excited to be in an awesome music school every day and work with other serious musicians and, most importantly, have a life-changing experience. I’m getting even more excited just talking about it. Can’t wait to write all about it after!

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Introduction to Frost School of Music and Dr. Paul Posnak

On Sunday, I had an unbelievable time touring the University of Miami Frost School of Music and meeting and playing for Dr. Paul Posnak, a world-renowned, award-winning classical and jazz pianist and professor at UM Frost hailing from The Juilliard School.

So this summer, I will be attending the two-week Young Musicians’ Camp Advanced Honors Program at UM Frost, and I am crazy excited about it! I am looking forward to having a life-changing experience and getting a feel for what it’s like to be a piano major at a school like UM. So since I was accepted into the program, I was offered to meet the director and get a tour of the campus. I did, and here’s everything I learned!

I guess I can say I’ve always had some sort of connection to the University of Miami since both my parents graduated from there and all my life it’s been “all about the U.” They really like the university, but none of us knew anything about the music school. UM Frost is known for its diversity within students and graduating hundreds of successful musicians, which is partly why I chose to attend their summer program. As we visited the circle of classrooms and walked through hallways of practice rooms, it was cool to kind of envision myself going there. The absolute coolest thing I saw was the “music library.” Like, what is that in the first place?! It’s an entire building where tons and tons of music are saved!

After the tour of the university, I was invited to meet the Director Emeritus of the Advanced Honors Program, Dr. Paul Posnak. Now, let me tell you, this man is THE REAL DEAL. He went to the Juilliard Preparatory School on a full scholarship, eventually earning a Doctorate in Music degree, and he has released countless albums of classical and jazz music and performed all over the world - for real! I think it’s awesome that UM Frost has such an impressive musician as the professor of their Keyboard Performance program (similar to what Maestro Joaquin Achúcarro does over at Southern Methodist University). It was certainly an honor to meet and play for Dr. Posnak before he’ll be my chamber music instructor this summer.

Dr. Posnak’s house was so cool because he literally had one room dedicated to music. It had two baby grand pianos, one of them a W.M. Knabe & Co. from 1914! I played for him Rachmaninoff’s Prelude in C# minor, Op. 3, No. 2 and Melody Bober’s Moonlight Fantasy. The first thing he told me was I have a musical flair for the piano, which I appreciated very much. However, he pointed out some technical errors I have, like my tendency to bang down on the keys too much in the first three notes of the Rachmaninoff, which sort of takes away the musicality of the piece. Like Maestro Achúcarro, Dr. Posnak stressed the importance of keeping your arms relaxed and lifting your hands after each chord to keep your arms from tiring. After our discussion, he showed my some good practice habits for scales and sight reading. I will surely think about the feedback he gave me when I’m practicing, because if it comes from a virtuoso such as Dr. Posnak, it must be true!

I am thrilled that I had the opportunity to tour the UM Frost School of Music and and meet, play for, and get feedback from Dr. Posnak! I’m just counting the days till this summer! 🤓

Photo credit: allmusic.com, archdaily.com, Gianna Milan

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To play without passion is inexcusable. 💭

Last weekend, I was honored to play in my first ever competition, the South Florida Young Artist Solo Competition, and I walked away from the experience as a happier and stronger musician than I’ve ever been before.

I had entered in this competition and sent audition demos back in February. Soon, I found out I advanced to the semi-final of competition, and I was thrilled! This meant a lot to me, and I was determined to put in as much effort to deliver my best performance on competition day. I focused solely on my piece, Rachmaninoff’s Prelude in C# minor, Op. 3, No. 2, for two weeks. I chose the Rachmaninoff because it was a dramatic and impressive piece where I could best show my musicality; plus, it was my favorite. Having a class with world-renowned pianist Joaquin Achúcarro was a huge advantage, and when I sat at the piano to practice, I reminded myself to play it slowly and think about the feedback he gave me. Soon, I was ready to rock this. 🤘

On the morning of April 16th, I headed over to the Epstein Center for the Performing Arts (which was actually my old school’s theater) for the competition. I was all smiles to have my piano teacher and my old music teacher there to support me and feeling prepared to do my very best. When it was my time, I came on stage and greeted the judges, one of which was actually pianist Ciro Fodere of the New World Symphony. I was surprisingly not nervous at all. I felt honored to play for these judges. And then it was time to work my magic.

I cannot think of another word to describe the execution of my Rachmaninoff than magical. I played with expression from the heart. My dynamics were strong from start to finish, and the “agitato” section, which I previously struggled with the most, came out the best I’ve ever played it. The passion was evident in each note, and I was super proud of how the piece turned out and got a huge confidence boost. Now I had to patiently wait until they announced the final round contestants.

It was such a surreal moment when I heard I advanced to the final round. I had never been so excited! A friend of mine from school also advanced in violin, and I was ecstatically happy for both of us. I was sure that I was going to do even better the second time around, thanks to the feedback I got from the judges. I wanted to use the advice they gave me to give a winning performance in the final round.

But it wasn’t as simple as I thought it would be. Before the final round, I was getting nervous. This is exactly what I didn’t want to happen, I thought. It was difficult to stay calm. And all musicians know that piano is one of those things that’s nearly impossible to do right when you have shaky hands. Sure enough, my performance was not as good as mine in the morning. My nerves got to me, and I missed a couple notes. Ugh!

So it wasn’t a surprise when I didn’t win, for my opponent gave a near flawless performance of Liszt’s Harmonies du Soir. I have to admit, I was a little sad that I made it that far and then didn’t get the W. However, I walked out as a proud finalist in my first competition. I am grateful that I executed my Rachmaninoff with such passion and better than I ever have before in the semi-final, because if it weren’t for that superb performance, I probably would not have moved on. I am thankful that I got this experience to compete and play for these judges because I learned a lot from it. I am most surely going to look ahead to my next competition and, most importantly, keep the passion alive!🎶💜

“To play a wrong note is insignificant. To play without passion is inexcusable.”  ~ Ludwig van Beethoven

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My Experience with Joaquin Achúcarro

Earlier this week, I had the wonderful opportunity to meet and play for Joaquin Achúcarro, a professional classical pianist from Spain and music instructor at Southern Methodist University in Dallas, TX. It was truly an awesome experience to get to know and have a lesson with someone who has been teaching at a highly-acclaimed music program for 25 years. The Symphony of the Americas is currently on a special tour where they are inviting Maestro Achúcarro to perform with the symphony, and I was excited to see him perform at the Broward Center for the Performing Arts. My piano teacher, who works for the Symphony of the Americas, arranged for me to meet up with him the day before his concert, and this is everything I learned from him in only 45 minutes.

Video password: SMU

From the moment I met Maestro Achúcarro, he was a super friendly person who was thrilled to meet me and hear me play. I could not believe I was actually talking to a professional musician! He sure knew a lot about music, so I could not wait to hear what he would say about my playing. We talked about the Guild program I’m preparing, and he first asked to hear my Baroque selections: J. S. Bach’s “Two-Part Invention No. 8″ and C. P. E. Bach’s “Solfeggietto.” He observed the curvature in my fingers in these pieces, and afterwards we went on to my best and favorite piece, which I will be performing in a competition this Saturday, Rachmaninoff’s “Prelude in C# minor, Op. 3, No. 2.”

It was a once-in-a-lifetime experience to have a private lesson with Maestro Achúcarro. We focused on this piece to help me prepare for my upcoming competition, and he had several suggestions for me to further improve my interpretation of this piece. We worked together on the tricky spots, especially in my biggest weakness, the “agitato” section. Maestro Achúcarro stressed how important it was for me to press hard with my ring and pinky fingers throughout the piece to bring out the top notes in the chords and highlight the melody, something which easily gets lost while playing this piece. He also suggested I use more speed when jumping from the low C#s in the left hand back up to the melody. We spotted some wrong notes in in the double-staff chords, and he showed me this helpful trick of covering up the wrong notes in the music with a sticky note so that you will always see it and remind yourself to fix the wrong note. But I have to say, the most important lesson I learned from Maestro Achúcarro for playing any piece was to always keep your hands relaxed and let the playing flow out of your fingers. Keeping your wrists loose and using the most strength in your forearms is key to finishing up a tough piece like this one without aching in your hands. 

After meeting Maestro Achúcarro, it was only right to get to see him do what he does best! The next day, I went to see Maestro Ahcúcarro and the Symphony of the Americas in concert at the Broward Center for the Performing Arts. How fascinating it was to watch him perform. He was so relaxed at the piano, like he’s done this a thousand times, and he played with such grace and passion that only a professional musician like him could know. The orchestra returned to perform Tchaikovsky’s “Symphony in C minor,” and I could not help but fall in love. I hope I can go to more of these concerts in the future to see such talented musicians, because I always leave feeling mesmerized and inspired.

It’s amazing how you can sometimes get the lost in the music and it just transports you to this whole other universe. That’s how I felt watching Joaquin Achúcarro and the symphony. Someday, I want to be able to engage my audience like that. Until then, I will just keep thinking about everything Maestro Achúcarro advised to me, because if the words comes from an incredible pianist like him, then it must only lead to success.

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Run Like A Champion

Everybody has a down experience from time to time. You mess up, and it hurts. It discourages you. The hardest part is getting back up and moving on, because it’s like your ghost of the past is always lurking behind you, and it’s hard to push away. You still have those visions in your head of the moment when it all went wrong, and you can replay it and re-feel the pain, and you feel destroyed.

But when you work your way back up and finally reach the top, you are a champion. 

I was a champion on Saturday at the Panther Relays Invitational. I was coming off a performance in the 800m that left me distraught and frustrated, but today I was eager to come back and do even better. I came with a positive attitude and a hunger for revenge.

Fast forward to race time. I’m the second leg of the 4x800 relay. I remember my heart thumping in my chest those final few moments before my race as I watched our first runner sprint down the home stretch. Our relay team had taken the lead from the beginning and was already way ahead of the pack. It was my time to shine, my time to beat that girl from last time and win and prove to myself that I’m better than her. I was feeling a lot of pressure leading up to this moment to keep this lead for my team. I didn’t want to be, but I was. As my teammate was striding to the finish line far ahead in first place, I remember taking a deep breath and muttering to myself one last time, “I have fought the good fight, I have run the race, I have kept the faith.” 

I grabbed the baton and was ready to go. From the start of my 800, I was on a mission to win, and just after the first 100, I was confident I was going to kill it. After getting out strong, I wasn’t stopping there. I assured myself that I had the strength to push myself through the whole two laps as fast as I could and not ease up. I pumped my arms and worked the curve, and I felt strong yet relaxed because I knew I was doing great. Turning into the straightaway, I could feel the wind and it was pretty terrible. I tried not to think about it and focus on pushing through. “Every step is an explosion. Go get it now,” I heard my coach say. I thought about that for a bit, and then I said to myself, “I’m going to go get it on this lap.” I’m passing through the 400m mark, and my coach yells, “You’re at 64. You’re going to have the best 800 of your life!!” That made me feel awesome. That first turn was hard; I could feel my body easing up. But once I reached 200 left, I was determined to go get it. I battled through the wind and pushed with everything I had left in me, because all I wanted was to finish up this race strong. I looked down the home stretch, empty as it was, and focused on getting to that finish line as fast as I could. And this time, she wasn’t going to get me. Nobody was stopping me. I gave a near perfect handoff to my teammate…

…and then it was over. I was ecstatic when my coach told me I ran a new PR of 2:25! I can’t even begin to describe how unbelievable I felt. I am so thankful that God was on my side today and gave me the strength to run fearless.

Then came the 4x400 relay. This was an experience I won’t forget because it was a team effort. We all came not really expecting to win, but we went out there and showed everyone who’s boss. And the best part was, we did it together. 🏆👊🏼

I had a similar feeling as earlier when our first runner left the pack and moved into first place. I was starting to get shaky. I was thinking, I got to keep this. I must do it for my team. I don’t remember much other than grabbing that baton and running away from everyone and my coach screaming, “Let’s go, Main Event!!” (that’s my nickname, by the way) It’s just one lap, I got nothing to lose, I said to myself. I’m pushing and I’m kicking hard, and before you know it I’m sprinting to the finish. I wanted to win. I wanted nothing more than to make up for all the pain I felt last time and be a champion. And win we did, in dominating fashion. It wasn’t just me, it was the team. I knocked down an amazing new PR of 61 seconds for the 400 while at the same time our relay team earned a new school record for the 4x400 with a time of 4:13. Need I ask for a better day?

There’s a lot more to winning than just running fast. It takes faith. It takes courage. It takes the strength we share with our teammates. It takes trust in God that today you will have confidence and you will be the greatest you’ve ever been. Sharing an experience like this with my teammates was unimaginable.

Sometimes you just got to go for greatness and see what happens. So run like a champion. Fear nothing on the track. Put that ghost behind and realize that you are more than you believe you are. And most importantly, have faith in yourself and in the Lord, because as the Bible says, “I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.”  ~ Romans 8:18 ✝❤️

Some words of wisdom from a pro:

“I have learned that track doesn’t define me. My faith defines me. I’m running because I have been blessed with a gift.”  ~ Allyson Felix

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Everything Wasn’t Enough

“I gave it everything, but everything wasn’t enough.”

What exactly does that mean? I guess I discovered that this past Tuesday at the Seminole Ridge Invitational. I learned that sometimes you can give it your all and still come up short, and it’s going to be hard, but you have to learn from the experience and move on. 

On Saturday, I ran an awesome race in the 1600m to come in fourth place in a major invitational with a time of 5:33. I had another big invitational this Tuesday and was competing in the 1600m and 800m runs. In the 1600, I was looking to break 5:30. In the 800, I wanted to run in between 2:25-2:30. 

This was a very poorly organized meet considering the fact that there were so many schools there. My teammates and I were so confused when to warm up because they were making first call an hour before the race, and the check-in area was so congested. We were all frustrated by the chaos, but I tried to look past that and just focus on my race. 

At 5:45 pm, I remember I started warming up for the mile. I was the only girl on my team entered in the mile. I have never been so chill before a race until this one. I don’t really know why. I didn’t even feel like I was about to run a race. It was weird, but like good-weird. Why was I so calm? I told my coach and he said “because you got this.” I guess he’s right. There is nothing to worry about after all. 

At the starting line, I wasn’t really thinking about anything, just relaxed. The game plan was to get out and run with the leaders and have an even better race than Saturday. I reminded myself that I just got to go out there and fight the good fight, run the race, and keep the faith. I was ready. We were off and I felt good as I was getting out in the front. We merged into lane 1 and I tucked right behind the leaders. My coach called that I was in a perfect position. It was just me and two other girls way out in front. I hung on with them for the first lap, but then when we reached the clock, I wanted to scream. 70 SECONDS! Why were we going so fast? Crazy! 😲 I didn’t want that to throw me off. I told myself to stay calm and hang with them. These girls could keep the pace and looked on the verge of pulling away, but I just focused on staying with them. I couldn’t believe the time when I reached 800m - 2:35. I was not expecting anyone to take it out so hard.

On the third lap, I hit a wall. I knew that super fast first lap was going to come back to bite me. These girls could keep the pace, but I felt like I couldn’t. I tried not to get discouraged by that and just keep doing my best. 600m to go, I’m still in third place and I’m just thinking about staying confident. It was hard because they were too far ahead of me to catch them. I hit 1200m at 4:11, slower than Saturday. All I could think about was there was one lap left and I just got to finish this race up strong. 300 to go, my coach shouts that I need to go all the way to the finish. I start picking up the pace, and 200 left is as hard as I can. I’m working the curve and coming down the home stretch, pumping my arms, and I crossed the line in third place with a time of 5:38. My time was 5 seconds slower than Saturday. That was not the outcome I wanted. My coach came over and told me my first 800 was 2:35. I was not prepared for that and it seriously messed up my third lap. Even though the race did not go as expected, I was happy that I once again proved to myself that I shouldn’t be afraid to run from the front. 

Then came the 800. Before the race, I was worrying that maybe I had warmed up too early or I was standing around in the check-in area for too long. But when I stepped up to the line, I told myself, That doesn’t matter anymore. Now you just got to run the race. You don’t need to worry about anything. I repeated 2 Timothy 4:7 in my head until I finally got the message and felt ready to race. At the sound of the gun, I exploded. I can’t really explain, I guess I was just really excited. I was out and took the lead. You are going to win this race, I said. I was determined to get the win and nobody was going to stop me. 200m was 30 seconds, and I thought about what my coach told me before about not worrying that I went out too fast, just keep pushing through. I pumped my arms and powered through the curve, and I looked down the home stretch and got such a wonderful feeling realizing the rest of the competition was behind me. You’re having a great race, I said to myself. I had a strong lead was confident about it. My teammates on the infield we’re cheering me on, and that got me excited. I hit the first lap at 69 seconds, but I didn’t stop there. I kept pushing. I would do everything possible to get this win. 300 to go, my coach is shouting at me to go for it. I’m thinking, I’m going to win this. 200m left, I hear my teammates yelling their lungs out and another coach calls, “Gianna, you’ve got to go! Somebody’s coming on to you!” Oh no, I thought. I couldn’t let this go. I had to win. I started sprinting. I pushed as hard as I could. At 100m to go, I heard my coach again: “Gianna, she’s right behind you!!”

There’s only 100m left in the race. Here’s the part where I start yelling at myself in my head: Gianna, you are going to give it your all to the finish. You have to win this. You can do it. You’ve got to go! NOW!! Every ounce of energy I had left in my body went into that last 100. I was giving it everything, but I could feel her. She was coming onto me. 50 meters left, she’s right on my tail. Don’t let it go. You can do it. I didn’t give up. There’s no other way I can put this: She passed me, and I got beat. It hurt. 💔

After I crossed the line, I immediately asked myself, Why, Gianna, why? How could you let that slip? You had the win! How could you let her catch you?! I couldn’t believe what had just happened. I felt crushed, defeated. It was so painful. I wondered, Was it a mistake to take that lead and go for it? Because at the end of the day, all that matters is what place you’re in when you cross the finish, right?

In the end, I’m glad that 800m race went down the way it did. It was one of the best learning-racing experiences I’ve ever had. I raced for the win and came up short, there is no shame in that. I do not regret anything I did because I ran an awesome race. I’m proud of myself for being brave enough to take the lead. I could have taken the easy way and just draft off that girl, but I didn’t. I once again proved to myself that I am fearless. I gave it everything, but everything wasn’t enough.

I’m going to put this race behind me and look forward to the next competition. It’s difficult because I was so hard on myself about this race, but I can’t let one race hold me back. I know God has wonderful things in store for me this season, so why waste time worrying about this one race? I’ll just wait until the next opportunity to shine. Until then, I can and I will work harder to get stronger. I am determined and not afraid to work hard. I will strive to go farther and chase after my dreams, and next time when I’m on the track, all that hard work will show through. I will be the most fearless competitor out there. I will show everyone how big my brave is.

And I will absolutely, positively give it everything.