je ne suis pas heureux ici

Gianni Russo. Photographer & philosopher. 

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Dahlia: nice. B) those are all really good schools from what i've heard, at least! and i'm sure you'll do great in any of those, but going to NYU would be pretty cool! well, i've also applied to UCLA; but SDSU, PAFA, and Illinois State are the others i've put in for.

Dahlia: okay, that's very true.. haha, although when it comes to you, i'll always have time. :) oh, yeah, i definitely know what you mean.

Dahlia: yeah? are you sure? i feel like you're holding back on me, gi.. but if i'm wrong then i guess we've finally come to a solution.

Gianni: thanks, honestly with those four i don't think i'll be disappointed either way. at least i hope i can get into /one/ of them. you did? cool; those sound like great choices too. now that applications are done, it's all just a waiting game. but i'm sure you're a shoe-in for your choices.

Gianni: well, thank you, i appreciate it :) but i doubt my ramblings would be very entertaining.

Gianni: yeah, i'm sure...not holding anything back, what do you mean exactly? actually, i meant to ask you. i got an anonymous question asking what was going on with us...i could always just answer saying we decided to be friends or something like that so that people won't have to guess any more. of course, if you want me to answer with that...

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hydnjcksn:

“Thank you. I just can’t psych myself out like I have been lately. You know?”

“Why have you been psyching yourself out, exactly?”

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Dahlia: yeah, of course. i definitely wouldn't mind that. what colleges have you applied to?

Dahlia: ooh, yes, i totally agree. it's a very exhilarating feeling. i don't get to travel very often, but i'd really like to! where else would /you/ like to go to, though? well, i'm glad you agree. :)

Dahlia: i know.. i mean, i don't really like that part either; it would honestly feel weird not being able to talk or hang out with you, i'm just not sure how to go about this. um, i guess it would probably help if we were seen with other people.

Gianni: NYU, UCLA, Princeton, and Stanford. NYU is pretty much my top choice at the moment; Princeton doesn't exactly have a lot to offer in the arts so it seems, but I figured I'd give it a shot anyway just to see if I could get in. doubt it though. you?

Gianni: hopefully the chance will present itself more often then. oh man, that's a whole spiel that would take forever. i think the question is, where /wouldn't/ i like to go? i'd really like to see as many places as possible, you know?

Gianni: i agree. well, uh...i guess that would be one way to get the point across. yeah. alright.

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Dahlia: yeah, that's true! i mean, i would definitely love to learn a whole language, but it's very time-consuming! you're probably right, though. yeah, hopefully. :)

Dahlia: of course. i think so too, it'd definitely be exciting - for you especially, i think. we should really plan a trip or s/t.. when it's convenient, of course! i'm an excellent tour guide when i'm familiar with the place. :) lol

Dahlia: well, i was mostly kidding! i'm not entirely sure what it could have been... but, um, i don't really have a plan. i mean, i could take down our pictures and if we aren't hanging out in public, i'm sure people would figure it out. and if anyone's curious, we could say it just wasn't working out. i'm not really sure... what do you think?

Gianni: if we end up at the same college then maybe we could attempt a language course then or something haha

Gianni: yeah, i'm sure i'd really enjoy it. always nice to cross a location off my bucket list. traveling /can/ be a lot better with good company, you make a valid point. that'd be fun B) sounds cool

Gianni: ah, yeah, sure, if you want to do that, go for it. it just sucks that we wouldn't be able to hang out in public, it's not like we should be keeping our friendship a secret...who thought this would be such a complication. i guess if that's cool with you, then it's fine with me.

[giannirusso-blog1]

hydnjcksn:

“It’s one of my first works in first person, actually, or ones that I’m proud of. I don’t know, we will just have to see what the future holds.”

“Cool, sounds awesome. Good luck with it, I’m sure it has great potential.”

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Dahlia: mhm! well, the other classes were full so it was either that or chinese - and while the latter seemed very interesting, i ended up going with the first. oh, i know! it would've been very cool. :) yeah, i totally get what you mean! there's just so much going on right now but i'll definitely keep my fingers crossed for you, haha.

Dahlia: yeah, i've gone a couple of times with my family in the past, it's a really beautiful place! especially during that time, of course. it would probably be a lot better if you could come too, though. well, i can't promise you they'll be nearly as good as yours, but i'll definitely take some for you!

Dahlia: :)

Dahlia: i know you didn't - wait, really? um, well.. that's a little strange. if anything, i'm sure it had something to do with that /thing/ you brought back from the paris trip. ;P and i'm sorry things didn't work out with that girl, but better things are to come. right? you're a good guy, gi. and you're not doing either of those things, really. i've had a lot of fun hanging out with you these last few weeks.

Gianni: chinese /does/ sound interesting, but that you /really/ need to dedicate time to, and i can imagine taking it as a high school course wouldn't make it very enjoyable. lmao thanks...one day

Gianni: i'll bet. there's probably no such thing as winter down there. hah, you think? it would definitely be fun B)

Gianni: just here and there, but you're probably right...i'm likely never going to wear that out in public again honestly. yeah it's fine, i'm content just having her as a friend. thanks :) likewise. well, it's up to you - have you come up with any idea of a solution that doesn't involve a messy break-up or drama in some way?

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hydnjcksn:

“Just a little writing piece. Maybe I’ll enter it into a contest.”

“Yeah? Is it a narrative? You should do that - sometimes you can win money and stuff.”

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the-felicity-edwards:

“I’m at the University, if that’s what you mean.”

“Oh, oops. Wrong school. Is there a feminist club there as well?”

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Dahlia: you know, that isn't such a far-fetched theory. :P well, /actually/, i took french my freshmen year so some of the phrases were familiar, but i definitely learned quite a bit from the time we spent there! it's honestly such a beautiful language. it's also very easy to pick up on, i think.

Dahlia: yeah, you're right. it's not too far from now, if you think about it. especially with this month already coming to an end. i've got really big plans for the upcoming break, actually. i'm thinking about going down to cancun, and i'm honestly really excited about it. :) it's been a while since i've visited.

Dahlia: yeah, definitely... and good; i'm glad, really. i wouldn't have said any of it if i didn't mean it.

Dahlia: -is typing-

Dahlia: oh, right, um.. well, i guess we should probably start telling people we aren't seeing each other anymore. i mean, i don't want you to have to keep up this act, if there's someone you really want to pursue, you know? it isn't really fair to you.

Gianni: you did? so did i...too bad you weren't in my class. but yes, it definitely helps with recognition. i'd love to learn the whole language, but it would require time and dedication that i don't think i have at this point. maybe once i graduate? fingers crossed.

Gianni: yeah? wow, cancun sounds like an awesome place to visit. i've never been myself, but it's on my bucket list for sure. especially for spring break...i'm sure you'll have a blast. take lots of photos for me, deal?

Gianni: i'm glad B)

Gianni: oh, no, i didn't mean it like that, i don't have any issue with the whole thing, i was just curious. it's not holding me back or anything along those lines; in fact, for some reason girls have been giving me more weird looks lately, but i doubt there's a correlation. either way, it wouldn't matter, i'm not...really interested in any particular person, the last person i was interested in is now currently in a relationship, so i've dealt with that and moved on. just didn't want to hold /you/ back or cause you any inconvenience or anything like that, you know?

[hydnwtf-deactivated20170421]

“I’m telling you, this is going to be my best work yet.”

[giannirusso-blog1]

“What is it you’re working on?”

[the-felicity-edwards]

“Yeah, I do consider myself a feminist. Is that a problem?”

[giannirusso-blog1]

“Not at all, I was just curious as to whether you were the head of the Feminist Club at school, but...now I’m not even sure you attend our school.”

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Dahlia: yeah, i know! it's insane, i'm almost convinced it must be part of the job. like maybe they have a homework quota, or something. i mean, with how much work they assign, i wouldn't be surprised. likewise, mon cher.

Dahlia: okay, that's true. i'm pretty sure the next break is sometime in march? anyway, that's definitely something to look forward to.

Dahlia: well.. i'm really glad to know you feel that way. :) i enjoy spending time with you too. i'm just really lucky to have you around, honestly. you're so kind and smart, and just really nice to talk to.

Gianni: i wouldn't be surprised. the system is out to get us, and they work for the system...kidding, sort of. it's really hard to tell what's government-mandated and what isn't these days. i see you picked up some french words while in Paris B)

Gianni: i think you're right, likely mid-march. we can survive until then, one way or another.

Gianni: please, you're much too flattering. i guess we're just both privileged to be in each other's lives. i do appreciate the kind words tho :)

Gianni: oh, by the way, does everyone still think we're dating or did that just gradually fade out? i can't keep up haha

[giannirusso-blog1]

What was the last thing that made you laugh?

Really, genuinely laugh? Probably everyone’s reaction to the getup I brought back from Paris. There are a few little things here and there as well, but I can’t really remember anything specific at the moment.

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Are you starting to realize anything?

I realize things every day simply my keeping my eyes, ears and mind open. You could say I’ve realized a few particularly interesting things lately.

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Would you rather be twice as smart or twice as happy?

There’s always plenty of knowledge to be learned, and learning it is part of the journey. Twice as happy.

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