Excerpt from the Detroit Museum of Minor Unearthly Mishaps.
Intact Remnant of the Kittenese Rebellion.
Incident Location: Chicago, IL
Item Retrieved: March 16th, 1890
“Over the span of two weeks, pet stores in a 5 mile radius of downtown Chicago were plagued with a string of break-ins. Local authorities were perplexed as the only goods taken by the thieves were small cats. With Easter approaching, owners were concerned for their sales and staged a stake-out. Three participating shop owners and five police officers placed the remaining stock of cats in a single store.
At approximately 2:18 AM on March 15th, 1890 (4th day of the nightly stake-out), sounds and lights emanated from the storefront. Three of the police officers raided the front door as the other 2 proceeded through the back. Before the officers had the chance to get the drop on the suspects, a horde of small beings attacked with crude heat rays and tridents. The suspects were easily apprehended due to their stature and nicknamed The Kittenese by the media.
During the scuffle, all the officers suffered minor cuts on the lower half of their bodies; one losing a toe and another receiving second degree burns to the left shin. This prompted the founding of Chicago PD’s Unearthly Crimes Division, a joint venture with Chicago’s Humane Society.”