the other thing that i think about gilvince (apart from vincent's insane energy of having been deeply harmed as a small child. which i also think about a lot). is the sense of just how much gilbert's umm desired role vis a vis other people is protecting them, taking care of them, being whatever they need. he overflows with love and care. and yet at so many turns he's denied any real success in this endeavour. sure, some of the people he cares about (oz, break, alice...elliot) feel this care manifest in their life. but in terms of the big stuff gilbert's kind of a failure? it's not like he gets right any of the stuff that he wanted to get right. he wanted to be good from the start and make it so that oz never had to be alone but oz manages to be so lonely anyway. and then there's something about the way pandora hearts plays around with this idea of the contractor and chain, masters and valets, lords and servants, blade-swingers and sacrificial animals. and the confusion of these roles. it's kind of insanely poignant that gilbert THROWS himself into being a servant and valet but then it turns out that he was actually meant to be the other thing. he was meant to be the contractor, the master, the lord of the baskervilles, the blade-swinger. he runs so hard from that role. he forgets and forgets and tries to remake himself in the vision of the thing he most wanted to protect but it's all kind of tied together, it's not like there's anything inherent in anyone that predisposes them to one or the other. and in a way it's about responsibility. gilbert wants to protect, but he doesn't want to lead. oz also tries not to lead but he can't help that people follow him because they think he's someone he's not and he was never born to lead in that sense, not like gilbert was. oz was born to protect. but they have to give those things up. it's just that do you ever think jack looked at vince and gilbert and saw lacie and glen? or were they too different? did he kind of think there's something here, like a shadow, or an imprint. lacie's chaos and nihilism and vince's amorality. glen's resignation and gilbert's broken-hearted care. it's just kind of crazy that there are little siblings who smile at the thought of being so violently abandoned and destroyed and unmade by their older brothers. little siblings who are evidence of their elder brothers' iniquities. you have to take care of your mistakes - it's all gilbert ever wanted to do. tried to take care of all his mistakes and always failed. because failing to be one thing is proof of being another. because gilbert was never meant to be so good. he was meant to be brutal, to inherit generations of memories and kill his baby brother and forget himself. there's a desperation in him that drips off of him at every moment. he wants so badly to keep loving. it's the one thing they would NEVER let him have. and he fails so hard at it. at loving and at not loving. and the first person he ever loved in his life wants to write himself out of existence. we are all so fucked.
Loading...
