Glorious

Gilderoy Lockhart | Slytherin | Envy of all

[gildedlockhart-blog]

lionheartedserpent:

Maybe if he just died, right here, sank into the floorboards and disappeared. Anything would be preferable to getting a perm from Gilderoy Lockhart. His, poor, poor hair. Severus is fine with the alternative, becoming a literal skeleton in the closet for the next group of students to occupy this dorm. Maybe Regulus will get assigned his old bed, it’ll be almost like they’re bunking together. Regulus could lean over and tell Skeleton Severus about his day, and sure Severus won’t be able to respond, but it’s the thought that counts.

Wishful thinking doesn’t get him anywhere fast. After a very long moment of deliberation, Severus slides across the floor on his back, shimmies out just enough that his eyes are poking out from under the bed. He eyes Gilderoy with a flat, unimpressed expression.

“I burned my planner.“ It’s almost monotone in its matter-of-factness. Severus thinks Gilderoy really shouldn’t be surprised. “So–no, apparently I didn’t know we had an appointment.“ He’s lying, but that’s nothing new. “Can you remind me when I made that appointment?“ And now he’s just talking out his ass, for the sake of being contrary or just getting a rise out of him. “Because I certainly don’t remember anything about wanting a perm.“

Torture. That’s it, plain torture. He’ll be lucky if he, and his hair, survive this whole year. Cutting it all off suddenly seems like a fantastic idea.

“I don’t mind the dust. Just like I don’t mind leaving my hair straight. Can’t you pick someone else for once? I’m very busy, as you can see.“

Tipping his head slightly to one side, Gilderoy never lets his perfectly composed smile slip even a millimeter, but anyone who knows him well, like dear, sweet Severus, can probably tell there are a few too many teeth in it. He arches one well maintained eyebrow every so slightly as he crouches down to get closer to Severus’ level. “You didn’t make the appointment, we did, darling. That’s the whole idea.”

When it comes to his tests, it’s less him asking Severus when he’s available and more just stealing his planner out of his bag, or his hand if he’s particularly distracted, and just marking it down before there’s a chance to stop him. And really, it’s not as though he’s making Sev pay him to be a test subject, so really, he has no idea what the problem is here. It’s clear that his friend doesn’t exactly have anything better to do at the moment. Maybe Gilderoy could understand if he had found Sev in the corner of the library, buried under piles of homework.

But no. Here he is. Hiding. Almost like he doesn’t want to help... which of course is just ridiculous.

Hand under his chin, Gilderoy pouts at him a little, his wander still dangling almost carelessly from his fingers. “Yes, of course, quite busy making friends with all the bedbugs and dust mites. I’m sure you’re getting along famously down there. Really, Severus, you’re being a little ridiculous. I can’t take you seriously like this.”

He shifts a little though, moving to sit on the floor next to him as he sets down his bag. Leaning against the bed, he lets out a little sigh, idly twirling his wand, seemingly unaware of the little sparks casually drifting from the end.

“You have such lovely hair for testing, Sev. And I would set it right after I’m done, I think I’ve finally worked out how to straighten it properly without it going all rigid. But fine, if you don’t want to test the curls, at least let me try this new coloring charm I’ve been working out. How do you feel about lilac?”

[gildedlockhart-blog]

lionheartedserpent:

closed starter for gilderoy @gildedlockhart

He’s avoiding Gilderoy. Severus is mean enough to admit that… to himself, at least. Gilderoy would probably cry if Severus told him, and that would be even less productive than hiding, because all Severus would get out of that is soggy robes and a few minutes or sixty wasted awkwardly patting his back. And maybe, deep down somewhere, he feels bad about hurting one of his only friends.

Beggars can’t be choosers.

Still. Severus fits nicely in the space underneath his four poster bed in the dorms. There’s actually a lot of wiggle room, and it isn’t that dusty. Maybe he could live under here, and never have to hear Gilderoy say anything about using him as a test subject for this or that new hair thing ever again. Severus gets it, he has a good length for experimenting with after growing it out over the summer, but fuck, he’s tired of going to class with sad half deflated curls.

He’s almost nodding off when the dormitory door opens, too many sleepless nights catching up with him, and jumps, startled.

Which, means he’s given away instantly when his head hits the underside of the bed with a nasty thump.

“Shit.“

Sev claps a hand over his mouth, but it’s too late. The only hope left is that it isn’t Gilderoy who walked in.

There’s nothing that gets under Gilderoy’s skin more than a missed appointment. It’s a waste of time and frankly a little insulting. Of course, this isn’t an official one, but testing sessions are just as important. Now maybe he doesn’t always ask nicely if Severus wants to be his guinea pig, but really, he has such nice hair (when he hasn’t spent all day hunched over a cauldron anyway, Gilderoy really needs to talk to him about that) and he’s just letting it go to waste. And Gilderoy’s never going to get his perm spells right if he doesn’t have a chance to practice.

He’s already checked the library, and several of the work rooms in the dungeons meant for potion practice. Gilderoy’s even checked Severus’ ‘secret’ work station. Nothing. So he heads back to the dormitory, throwing the door open with perhaps a little more force than necessary. The familiar curse catches his ears and he slowly pivots toward Sev’s bed. His footsteps are pointedly loud as he approaches and stands at the foot of the bed, wand in hand.

“Severus, dear,” he says, voice with a sickly sweet, dangerous edge to it, one he’s sure Severus knows all too well by now. “You aren’t hiding from me, are you? Did you forget that we had an appointment earlier? I know I marked it in your planner.”

He may have charmed the planner to sing reminders about it incessantly. That seems to be a decent way of getting someone’s attention. And the singing charm is one that he’s particularly proud of.

“Now why don’t you come out from under there? I can’t imagine it’s clean down there... and you had your robes so nice this morning too,” he says, shaking his head despairingly, half because he knows Severus actually does go to a great deal of trouble to try to keep his things nice.

[gildedlockhart-blog]

hi there! gilderoy’s bio is still in the works, but I’ll have it done soon, so until then, here’s a few bullet points about him~

gilderoy is a halfblood, though neither he, nor his mother are entirely sure of the blood status of his father as his mother knew the man for only a week before she realized she was pregnant, at which point, she promptly cut him loose to manage things on her own

as a child, gilderoy entered and won several child beauty pageants. he’s quite proud of this fact and regularly polishes the trophies he won, and still occasionally wears the tiaras, which his mother bought him as a reward

he realized he was gay at a fairly young age and has never had much interest in dating girls or pretending he’s straight. however, as graduation nears and certain expectations are being made, he’s debated finding someone, perhaps someone in a similar situation, to pretend to be his girlfriend simply to avoid uncomfortable questions later on

he’s bilingual and speaks spanish fluently. his friends, regulus and severus, have also tried to teach him a few phrases in korean. unfortunately, ‘fuck me’ is the only one that really stuck. he’s also taught himself to curse in several other languages so he doesn’t get in trouble for it at home

his best subject is charms, and for most other classes, he’s capable of getting by, though he’s found that it’s so much easier to simply have someone else do the homework for him for a small fee

gilderoy runs a covert salon out of one of the bathrooms in the dungeons. if anyone needs their hair or nails done, or their outfit fixed up a bit, it’s the place to go. his prices are reasonable, though he’s willing to offer a discount if customers can provide juicy bits of gossip