ramblings and eccentricities

i like things such as words and pictures and sounds mostly talkin about tolkien also gilliethesad on ao3 > 18 any pronouns

[laly]

Why didn't they just take the eagles to mordor? OUT, DUMB QUESTION.

Why didn't they just take Arwen with them, hide behind her, and let Sauron's Luthien related ptsd do the rest? INN. CORRECT QUESTION. Bro's stupid eye tower would've collapsed on sight out of pure reflex, fucker would've left his body immediately never to return before she even had to say anything

[subliminamilly]

Since @winwin17 recently brought to our attention that Tolkien wrote male elves typically do the cooking, here’s my ratings of the sons of Feanor by kitchen performance:

Maedhros: has fed everyone since he was old enough to reach the counter. Always cleans up afterward. 10/10.

Maglor: decent but whenever he accidentally curdles the cream he sighs, “thus are all fair things marred,” and starts composing lyrics about the sundering of the Noldor from Valinor. 8/10.

Celegorm: comes in, drops a skinned whole deer on the table, and leaves (Aredhel is equally guilty of this btw). Knows zero (0) vegetarian recipes. 2/10.

Caranthir: usually quite competent but once lost his temper at the twins and screamed, "if Father returned from the Halls of Mandos and saw what you'd done with the stew, he'd immolate again but on purpose this time." Hard to live that down. 6/10.

Curufin: bakes elaborate pastries even though baking is "usually reserved for women." Occupies half the cupboards with his precision instruments for measuring flour. I made art of this at some point in my life. 9/10.

Amrod/Amras: can actually prepare venison in addition to hunting deer. Proficient cooks but also fond of experimenting with new mushrooms species they find in the forest. Once made everyone hallucinate yellow gnomes for a week. 7.5/10.

[orions-mistletoe-arrow]

So I don't know a lot about it, but I do know that elves in ME have a thing with marriage that, due to Tolkien being a Catholic dude, he made it canon that having sex was part of getting married for elves and like you join your souls together (I think literally????). Which has resulted in a lot of head canons of wide varieties; I would like to add a new one that I just made up:

While elves do tend to be stricter with whom they have sex with, it's not a "you sleep with this one person, and that's who you're stuck with forever" situation. Instead, when you have sex with someone, you do literally trade parts of your souls with each other, creating a bond, and when you sleep with someone else, the same thing happens. But there are some important things to remember:

Sleeping with the same person multiple times doesn't mean you trade more parts of your soul each time

Since a soul isn't quite a physical thing and you're still connected to the people you sleep with, you can't "run out" of soul to trade or become "soulless" the more people you sleep with. Instead, it's like a system of connected rivers that have equalizing water levels throughout

You can create webs or nets of bonds depending on who you sleep with that can make each other stronger or allow people who haven't slept together to have a weaker bond with each other through their shared partners.

Bonds are symbiotic and at least partially reflect the quality of relationships, so everything to do with them is consensual

sex being a part of marriage is partially due to a translation error where elves do have a thing that is human-marriage-like, and it tends to happen at the stage where the couples feel comfortable with sex so it's become a part of the ceremony and since elves live so long and create such long lasting relationships that dont require them being near eachother regularly or even often from a human pov 2 elves who are very close have likely slept together at one point or another and would appear married to a human or vice versa two elves who havent scene eachother in a long time but mention that theyre married have almost definately slept together at some point

[frodo-of-the-nine-fingers]

ulmo after stopping maglor from drowning himself: haha nooo don't krill yourself you're so sexy

[gemsoflasgalen]

when you have stealing silmarils with your brother at 7 and a harp cover of “bad guy” at 8

he was not supposed to look like billie eilish 😭😭

see the rest of the fëanorian picture day

speedpaint below | support me on kofi!!

[approximately7marbles]

AUEHBNSKRJWHAGAGAHGGEGFTFVRHERRRGFARSFEFSGEHTJK

[anattmar]

tiny fingon sketch

[gilliethesad]

when the rings of power season three genie approaches me i'll be ready

elrond's hair stays curly and gets even longer

they "somehow palpatine returned" celeborn because what. what.

elrond's hair gets a little bit longer

[gilliethesad]

OMG DARE I SAY MY SECOND WISH IS FULFILLED???

[skopostheorie]

[orions-mistletoe-arrow]

So.... I know that cutting hair is like Bad tm for elves and has a bunch of connotations that go with it; does that mean that bangs are an alt hairstyle for elves?

Give me punk elves with curtain bangs that your vanyaran grandmas gossip about at their weaving circles!

[balrogballs]

Some hairy thoughts:

I always get asks or comments talking about how people love my defense of movie Elrond’s hairline or that I am the bravest soldier for it, and I need to make one thing clear.

I am not a defender of movie Elrond’s hairline. I am an enjoyer of it.

I am feral for that hairline. I genuinely think a good widow’s peak is sexy. More forehead to lick. More brains to overthink hand in hand with. He can still look like Lúthien no matter what hairline he has, because Lúthien was a woman so unlikely to develop male pattern baldness.

I am not the bravest soldier on the final frontier of that hairstyle out of noble aspirations or loyalty, nor patriotism. I am not even a crusader for my king, because frankly I don’t like action franchises, have never seen Hugo Weaving in anything except the Matrix and Priscilla, and do not plan to. I am doing this for purely selfish reasons. I love that little V-forehead. A constant, unchanging arrow, a tether to my motivations, a constant reminder of a place I deeply wish to explore.

Also, I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again, if I personally lived six thousand years of a life like Elrond’s, forget male pattern baldness, the first thing Frodo sees upon waking up in Imladris would look like this:

I recently noticed how all the male Imladris elves in the films wear their circlets really low compared to the other ones and yes, yes, different regional fashions but have chosen to read it as a beautiful gesture of solidarity with their lord. The lower it gets, the hotter you think Elrond is. That’s why Lindir’s one is basically halfway down his forehead even though he has a perfectly normal hairline.

I understand, Lindir. I would do the same. I would do it better than you. I would wear it around my pussy.

[elves-as-things-my-friends-said]

Maedhros: am I straight?

Fingon: no.

Maedhros: ...how about my parking?

Fingon: yeah that looks pretty good.

[gilliethesad]

pirating the odyssey so i can see it in exactly how christopher nolan intended it not to be seen

[balrogballs]

LEGOLAS & ARAGORN

discovered embroidery brush and, true to character, went overboard with it. a little practice in my illustration style, enjoy a trashy novel cover, either BL or buddy-cop depending on your interpretation, featuring the most annoying duo to ever exist. i know the elves of imladris wanted to lock them in a room and throw away the key, i know it!

commission balls

[byjove]

I GOTTA give these people an ominous prophecy. Yeah, dude, they really need an omie prophie right now.

[gilliethesad]

aragorn with noah kahan style french braids.. could be a breakthrough

[kibutsulove]

teenage girls in numenor were too busy writing feanor x thingol feanor lives au fanfiction to give a fuck about sauron’s gay little devil worshipping pyramid scheme