TLDR: My friend made a homophobic comment during our dinner party this week 😵💫🫠
One of my friends recently became a mother. This week I was at her house with our other friends and, out of the blue, she said she was telling her husband that she’ll love their son either way but she hopes he ends up straight because she wants grandkids.
It honestly was like a gut punch. This friend knows that I’m a lesbian and that being accepted in my family and by my parents has been a long and painful struggle. One of our other friends (who was at this function) is gay but closeted because he doesn’t want to disappoint his parents. This friend herself IS bi (though tbh she is not connected to the queer community at all). Also her sister-in-law is a lesbian.
She said her husband told her that was homophobic, but she was laughing so she clearly didn’t take it too seriously. I told her having a straight kid doesn’t guarantee grandchildren anyway. My brother is a straight man and he and his wife don’t want kids. Our other friend brought up the fact that she has two moms and they had a kid.
She brushed all of this off, and my feelings were hurt so I lashed out and said I didn’t know why she wanted a straight kid cause having a straight son would be my fucking nightmare. She said “Well my husband is straight and that’s worked out pretty well for me.”
Ugh. Just when I start to relax, someone else lets me down. Ever since I came out, it’s like a long and terrible string of disappointments. I know I live in the south and grew up in super religious circles but jesus fucking christ man. These things are the bare minimum, too. I feel like I’m constantly fighting for basic respect and understanding. It feels like I’m trapped in the dark ages or something.
Mostly I’m just hurt and disappointed as well as angry on behalf of her kid, even if he does end up straight. He’s not even seven months old and he already has so many heteronormative expectations placed on his shoulders.
Anyway, I really just needed to vent for a second. If you read this whole thing, hi, thanks for coming to my ted talk haha, leave any advice or encouragement in the comments cause I am in desperate need of some camaraderie lol.
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