HOW DEEP IS YOUR LOVE ‧˚꒰🐾୭ ˚.
megumi fushiguro ( kinda yandere ) × reader
Warnings : fingering and obsessive love ( “like always” WHO SAID THAT?! )
We broke up a week ago.
She blocked me on everything. Blocked my number, my Instagram, fuck, even my email.
She doesn’t want me in her life anymore, and I can totally understand why, but I simply refuse to accept it.
I followed her the same week she walked out on me. Her friends are trying to poison her mind like they always did, whispering that I’m "too much of this" and "im not enough of that."
They don’t know a damn thing about what we shared. They’re just toxic noise in her ear, and unfortunately, she’s far too easily influenced, so she eventually listened to them.
I saw them dragging her everywhere, to the shops, to the club, setting her up on quick dates. All of that in the span of a single week. They wanted her to erase me because they never liked us as a couple.
But I am not about to let anyone tear apart what I have with the love of my life.
It’s like I had finally learned to breathe the moment she walked into my world. I couldn’t just let that go.
Right when I finally caught a glimpse of the light, it felt like they were shoving me back into the dark.
Yeah, no. Not happening.
Never
I’m standing in front of her door, flowers in my hands, ready to take back what’s mine.
I knock.
She opens.
True to form, she’s wearing her robe, looking like no one else on earth. But she looks more exhausted this time. Heavy dark shadows bruise her cheeks, and those eyes reveal she’s been crying for hours.
“What are you doing here?”
I offer her the bouquet, but she refuses to take it.
“Megumi, what do you want?” she repeats, and I let out a long breath, trying to keep my growing frustration in check. I have to physically restrain myself from touching her. It’s been so long, I am not used to being kept away from her like this.
“Can I come inside?” I plead.
“Megumi…”
You can’t refuse him anything.
That’s what her friends always accused her of. That, alongside a dozen other complaints about us spending too much time together, me trying to control her, and her not knowing how to say no while I took advantage of it etc…
If anything, she intoxicated me far more than I ever intoxicated her.
She carved her way into my life, painted my entire existence with her colors, and burned her initials into my soul.
I genuinely believe she could survive without me, that she’s the only problem here, whereas I know damn well I could never do the same.
I spent the entire week trailing her steps, fighting the urge to snap every time some random guy tried to strike up a conversation. Now that word is out she’s single, everyone is practically drooling.
Fuck, they must be so damn happy.
It makes me physically sick to my stomach.
“Just let us talk about this, mmh? What do you think?”
“Don’t baby me, Megumi,” she warns. She’s completely on edge, and I can feel it. She’s fighting the urge to burst into tears, and all I want is to pull her into my arms. But her stupid pride is getting in the way. She wants her decision to make logical sense, even if her heart is screaming the exact opposite.
Just come to me, baby. I don't care.
I don’t care that you dumped me because of your friends' nonsense.
I don’t care about your friends; they can all rot in hell.
You could scream insults at my face right now and I wouldn’t even be mad, hell, I’d probably fucking thank you.
I have zero self-respect when it comes to you, and you know it.
“Just… fine. Ten minutes, and not a second more, okay?”
I catch the raw vulnerability cracking through her voice, so I simply nod. She steps aside and lets me in.
Her place is a total wreck. I set the flowers down on the table and turn around just as she locks the front door behind me.
The entire apartment smells like her, that sweet, painfully familiar perfume. I refuse to leave this place, not when she’s standing right here without me.
“What did you want to talk about?”
I walk over and sink onto the couch, legs spread, dropping my head back against the cushions and pressing my hands over my face.
“We can’t… Y/N, you know damn well we can’t-“
“Don’t.”
I look up at her. Her glassy eyes are swimming with tears she’s desperately trying to hold back.
“It was hard enough to end things, I don’t need you to-”
“Come to me.”
“What?”
“Just sit on the couch with me.”
“Megumi, you know what you’re doing, please, just go. Leave!”
I stand up instantly, closing the distance until I’m towering right in front of her.
Fuck, she smells so good. Inebriating.
I lose my restraint and bury my face in the crook of her neck. She freezes, neither shoving me away nor screaming at me. She just lets out a shaky, helpless gasp.
“I can’t stop thinking about you,” I murmur against her skin, my voice low. “When I eat, when I sleep, when I walk, when I breathe.”
“What did I do to make you abandon me like that, baby? Huh? What poison did your little friends pour into your ear to make you think I wasn't enough?”
As I speak, my left hand slides down her body, slipping beneath the hem of her clothes straight between her thighs.
“Megumi…”
“You don’t get to say my name like that. You don’t have that right. Just answer my question.” I push my fingers inside her, and the immediate, involuntary moan that slips past her lips fuels the fire in my chest.
“It’s just better if we take some distance, please… we’re just not good for each other,” she sobs as my rhythm quickens. I can’t think straight anymore. All the cold rage and resentment I’ve built up over the past agonizing week collide all at once now that I’m finally touching her.
I love her to pieces, but being discarded like trash tore me apart. I forgave her, yes, but I can’t shake the phantom pain of it all.
I still see the phantom image of her going on those pathetic dates with her stupid friends.
I remember lying awake all night during that hellish week, spinning the barrel of my gun between my fingers, seriously debating paying a late-night visit to every single bastard who had been lingering in the shadows, waiting for us to split so they could sink their claws into her.
I'm usually the calm type. I don't go looking for trouble, I just handle what needs to be done when the time comes. I don't engage, I wait for it to come to me. I don't talk, I just wait... Except when it comes to Y/n.
I haven’t slept a proper hour in seven days.
“It’s… Megumi… it’s too much.”
“I don’t care.”
My hand moves faster, demanding. I can feel her body responding, melting into my touch, trembling and crying from sensory overload. I don’t want her breathing standard air anymore; I want my presence to be her only oxygen.
She did this to me.
She can’t seriously expect to leave me after all this, right?
She is all I know. She is all I’ll ever need.
Yeah, maybe her friends are right and this isn't the healthiest dynamic, but show me a relationship that actually is.
I don’t want casual friends, and I sure as hell don’t want anyone else.
I just want her.
She shudders and comes around my fingers, and for a fleeting second, I feel like I can finally draw a full breath again. Because I was the one affecting her, overwhelming her, not the other way around. I want her completely intoxicated by me, the exact same way I am by her.
“See? We’re perfect together,” I whisper, my voice trembling. My fingers refuse to pull away from her warmth. I feel entirely anchored here, trapped in a way that feels terrifyingly right.
She’s entirely breathless, her hands gripping my shoulders to keep from collapsing.
“We can’t keep living like this, and you know it,” she whispers, trying to pull back. I scoop her up and set her down on the edge of the table instead.
“Just because your idiotic friends told you we can’t doesn’t mean it’s true.” I say calmly
“It’s not healthy!”
“Who gives a damn?”
“I do! I care about you,” she presses her palms hard against my chest, “and I care about myself.” She taps her own heart.
“I saw what I look like when you aren't around, and it is fucking terrifying. It’s like I’m a ghost of myself! It just proves how profoundly fucked up we actually are.”
I just stare at her. Her cheeks are soaked with fresh tears. She bites her lower lip, fighting a losing battle against her own physical instincts as her hands drift up to cup my face with devastating familiarity.
“Just look at how broken we are. Look at what we’ve turned each other into.”
“I am never letting you go, Y/N. You know that.”
She buries her face in her hands, letting out a ragged sigh.
“Don’t you think the exact reason we can’t survive apart is simply because we were never meant to be separated?”
She bites her lip again, a gesture that makes me want to pull her teeth against mine.
“Stop looking at us through the distorted lens of your dumb friends. Look at us with your own eyes. They can’t possibly feel the magnitude of what we share, baby. They have no idea how deep my devotion goes.”
A single tear slips down her cheek, breaking my resolve. It’s my turn to gently frame her face in my palms.
“I would kill for you, Y/N. I would die for you, live for you, breathe for you. I’d do anything.”
“I just want you to love me normally,” she cries out softly.
“Then I’ll love you normally! I’ll bring you flowers, I’ll bring you coffee every damn morning, I’ll buy you your dream fucking house,” my grip tightens around her, desperate. “I’ll do everything, I’ll bend the world backward, but you cannot ever leave me again.” My voice cracks, raw and broken.
I feel like my chest is splitting wide open.
“Y/N, please don’t fucking leave me again. I literally watched myself die this week.”
“Megumi-“
“No! No, you don’t understand! You don’t get to make me fall this deep and then abandon me in the dark!” My hands are shaking violently against her skin.
“I’m… I’m so, so sorry, Y/N. I am so deeply sorry,” she whispers, pulling me into a desperate, crushing embrace.
And just like that, the world rights itself.
I feel whole again.
I am finally home.
And I know for a fact she’ll never leave me again.
I know it,because I know her.