Don't know if it's okay to post this but it was posted publicly on the 924 Gilman Facebook page.
When I first got involved with Gilman four years ago, I was told that it was a place for people like me. I was told that Gilman was my space. I was told that Gilman was a safe space. That it wasn’t just another punk club. That it was something more. That it had a mission. That it was about changing something, about doing something differently.
I was lied to. I was lied to by the rules on the door. I was lied to by the history in the Gilman book. I was lied to by all the volunteers who told me they supported me, supported who I was, but who refused to support adding “no transphobia” to the rules on the door. Or who said they followed those rules, but refused to call out bands when they broke them, orr to 86 concertgoers or bands who did. Or who, when some of us DID call out bands, responded by trying to explain away their behavior, attack us for calling them out, or simply respond with blatant rule-breaking (responses to a callout of a band for the line “you’re such a bitch” included numerous facebook posts including “bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch,” “don’t be a whining ass bitch,” etc.)
Now, I will be the first to say that Gilman has given me a lot. If it weren’t for Gilman, I probably wouldn’t be a punk. I might not be playing music. I definitely wouldn’t be booking shows. And I wouldn’t have made a lot of amazing friends over these past four years. I’ve had a lot of amazing experiences here. A lot of amazing memories. Gilman has been like a home to me.
But the thing is, I realize that Gilman really isn’t for me. It isn't for people like me -- people who suffer from the oppressions Gilman is supposed to be against, people who are systematically excluded and overlooked in the punk scene. This realization happened some time between a non-queer booker booking a queer show without my input but with collaboration with two people who have openly expressed transmisogynist ideas; getting told off for enforcing the rules we painted on the door; and getting told that I “always cause drama” and don’t “have a right to say what Gilman is supposed to represent.”
The person who told me these last things referenced the fight over adding “no transphobia” to the rules. He pointed out that in that conversation, I was ready to leave over a simple rules change – specifically, removing the anti-oppression language from the rules board (no racism, no misogyny, no homophobia, no transphobia). And he was right. I was 100% ready to give up my keys. Without those rules, I felt that Gilman wouldn’t be a safe space for me, or a space I could support.
The thing is, I realize that what it says on the wall makes no difference. As long as the people running the shows don’t enforce those rules or even agree with them, the rules might as well not be there.
When I first came to Gilman, I thought it was something unique. Something special. But now I understand. Gilman isn’t special. It’s not unique. Gilman is just another punk club. And I don’t want anything to do with it.
Though I am resigning my position as booker, I intend to continue hosting queer/trans nights at a new location to be determined. If you are interested in attending them, please feel free to join the queer/trans night fb group (https://www.facebook.com/groups/1405714523019235/)
Love and Solidarity with all who struggle,
RosaÂ
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