Hope You’re Doing Well

Profe | 26 | Asexual and Aromantic | Any Pronouns Hello hello, I’m Profe! I’m also an anxious mess at all times who’s prone to lurking and daydreaming.

[martinihomestead]

Basic Homesteading Skills

Crafts

quilting

embroidery

cross-stitch

knitting

crochet

sewing

Cooking and Baking

homemade bread

homemade butter

homemade extracts

dandelion jelly

Canning

26 canning recipes

canning jars 101

60 canning recipes

Gardening

edible trees to plant

what to plant to save the bees

cure and braid garlic

save seeds for next year

braid onions for long term storage

build a greenhouse

Animals

homemade chicken feed

raising mealworms for chickens

why to raise nigerian dwarf goats

Outdoors

starting a fire with sticks

trail signs

knotting

find true north without a compass

Medicine

homemade neosporin

all purpose healing salve

[plantyhamchuk]

I’m gonna take a moment to talk about the greenhouse link above. Greenhouses can be quite a bit of work, time, and money to build - and they take up space - so some thoughtful planning and research can ensure that whatever you build you’ll get the most out of. 

Most people, when first approaching greenhouses, just build a generic shed that has clear walls and a roof. That’s what you see in the blog post above, while the author kept mentioning how incredibly hot it is. The author is located in central Washington state, USA.

Greenhouse with no ventilation/cooling or heating or electricity or gas, in a hot climate summer climate, cool winter. While conventionally attractive, it is not particularly functional, and is only useful for a relatively short period of the year.

How best to design a greenhouse can depend on factors like climate and latitude. 

If your greenhouse is located someplace very cold, you’re looking at issues with heating it, or else not using it at all during that time. There’s multiple ways to heat greenhouses, traditionally methane or propane gas, although in emergencies, and if it is wired for electricity, electrical heat may be used. Some people have even used wood furnaces (this is less than ideal) For any place with long winters this quickly becomes very expensive. Thermal mass is the clever trick to solve most, if not all, (depending on climate) heating issues in winter - no fossil fuels or deforestation required.

If your greenhouse is located someplace very hot, you’re looking at issues with cooling it, or else not using it all during that time. There’s multiple ways to cool greenhouses - fans/vents and shade cloth being the most common. Thermal mass can also help with this issue too.  

My favorite website on greenhouses (which longtime readers may recognize) is Penn and Cord. Heating and cooling greenhouses so you can use them for more than 6 weeks a year can be very expensive and very energy intensive - unless you start looking at passive solar greenhouse designs, such as those by Penn and Cord. You do sacrifice some space in the back greenhouse for the thermal mass aka giant barrels of water.

Can be built out of used or scrap material.

Above, barrels are on the left, hidden behind the plants. Below, this is what the wall of barrels looks like before plant beds are installed.

These 55 gallon drums filled with water and painted black, all along the north wall, are the “battery” that keeps these greenhouses usable year round. The roof angles are designed so that these receive direct sunlight (hence why they are painted black) in the winter, the sun heats the water, and they help keep the greenhouse warm all winter long. They’re working at high elevations in Colorado which means 1) wild temperature fluctuations 2) it’s pretty cold in winter there, down to -30F/-34C. The barrels also modulate the hot temperatures in summer. There are variations around this idea, but hopefully the concept makes sense. Sometimes people will create the northern wall out of concrete, and then put the barrels or bottles of water in front of it, for a similar “battery” or modulating effect. The interiors are painted bright white, to reflect as much light as possible to the plants.

Granted, this extremely energy efficient and far more sustainable greenhouse style does not have the same “aesthetic”, but the space is actually far more usable. Penn and Cord and their crew are growing 365 days of the year, in greenhouses mostly made out of used materials. None of these greenhouses obviously have electricity or gas installed, but they don’t actually need it either, thanks to their clever and regionally-appropriate design.

[bakwaaas]

the user base of tumblr is a specific demographic of people who were ‘the smart kid’ growing up but didn’t do as well academically as they got older due to mental health struggles, were probably bullied in school and were quite lonely & introverted so they took solace in reading but now rarely pick up a book, grew up on tumblr but continued using it into adulthood unlike most of their peers who stopped using it after it lost popularity

[americanegg]

[eldritchdraaks]

Ouch. Every single part of this hurt.

[taichi-kungfu-online]

Workout For Daily Life

[chitarra10]

Reblogging for the neck pain ones… whoa Nelly, do I ever get the most killer neck pains.

[uchanda]

therapist: how was your week?

me: mm.. i can’t remember

[thebeautifulspinster]

therapist: what are you thinking right know?

me: mm.. i don’t know

[hotvampireadjacent]

ppl w short term memory issues rise up

[hotvampireadjacent]

[no one shows up to the meeting bc we all were sure we would remember and didn’t write it down, and ended up forgetting like usual]

[frottinq]

[jjjunah]

Me: I’m gonna read this story without skimming

My adhd ass seeing long paragraphs:

[yashas-strong-arms]

it's so stupid, adhd is a dozen vaguely related neuroses in a trench coat, including such popular hits as

Can't Fucking Sleep Disorder

Can't Fucking Wake Up Disorder

What Is A Focus

Oops I Did It* Again (*Spent Thirteen Hours On Youtube And Forgot To Eat Or Drink)

The World Is Too Noise Today

All My Friends Hate Me (I Deduced This From A Three Word Text)

I Forgot About [thing] Literally As Soon As I Turned Around

...and they decided to call it Trouble Sitting Still Disorder?????

[geschiedenis-en-talen]

You will not believe the amount of times I’ve read an English word and thought of a pronunciation and then continued to pronounce the word that way in my head for years only to discover that it has a completely different pronunciation and I would’ve made a fool of myself if I had ever pronounced that word out loud

[nordic-language-love]

it’s okay native speakers have exactly the same experience

[randomslasher]

It’s a phenomenon unofficially known as “reader’s accent” and it’s very common! Because English has so many words (in fact considered to be the language with the greatest number of words) lots of people, and in particular those who read a lot as children, will encounter a word in writing long before they hear it spoken. They’ll develop the idea of what the word will sound like in their head, and only realize when they hear it spoken that their idea was different than the common pronunciation. 

I’ve even had it where I’ve known words as spoken words, and I’ve known words as written words, and it’s taken me a significant amount of time to realize that they were the same word. One example I can think of is the word indictment. I always thought “indictment” was pronounced “in-dict-ment,” and it was only when all these police indictments started happening on the news (with the news crawls below the words being spoken) that I realized it was “in-DITE-ment.” 

So yeah, never feel bad for discovering that a word in English is pronounced differently than you would’ve expected. English has had influence from SO many other languages over the centuries as it developed, and as a result, many of our pronunciation “guidelines” are borrowed from the languages the words originally came from. It’s massively inconsistent, and it’s one of the reasons that learning English as a second language is so difficult. 

As my favorite poster in the campus writing center used to proclaim: 

“English: A language that lurks in dark alleyways, beats up other languages, and rifles through their pockets for spare vocabulary.” 

[mikkeneko]

it wasn’t until an adult that I realized that colonel and spoken word “kernal” were the same word

[doggosource]

[adulthoodisokay]

absolute unit

[manie-sans-delire-x]

The whole family is here.

[thewightknight]

25% of the people have a 4th cone and see colors as they are

Given the sudden interest for the color of dresses and vision, here some of the fascinating findings we did recently.

The color nuances we see depend on the number and distribution of cones (=color receptors) in our eye. You can check this rainbow: how many color nuances do you count?

You see less than 20 color nuances: you are a dichromats, like dogs, which means you have 2 types of cones only. You are likely to wear black, beige, and blue. 25% of the population is dichromat.

You see between 20 and 32 color nuances: you are a trichromat, you have 3 types of cones (in the purple/blue, green and red area). You enjoy different colors as you can appreciate them. 50% of the population is trichromat.

You see between 33 and 39 colors: you are a tetrachromat, like bees, and have 4 types of cones (in the purple/blue, green, red plus yellow area). You are irritated by yellow, so this color will be nowhere to be found in your wardrobe. 25% of the population is tetrachromat.

You see more than 39 color nuances: come on, you are making up things! there are only 39 different colors in the test and probably only 35 are properly translated by your computer screen anyway :)

It is highly probable that people who have an additional 4th cone do not get tricked by blue/black or white/gold dresses, no matter the background light ;)

(x)

[ahaunteddildoforblaine]

I see 21 colors. I had no idea there are so many more.

[chocolatequeennk]

I see 35-39 colours, and I hate the colour yellow. That was actually what made me curious enough to stop scrolling and count. Who knew there was a scientific reason behind my colour preferences? So the idea here is that what I see as annoyingly, garishly bright, most people don’t see as clearly, and that’s why it’s “cheerful?” (I’ve never understood that description of yellow.)

[sassyhail]

I barely saw 18 or 19. Dang :/

[straightboyfriend2]

Im fucking colorblind

[veryfunnymemes]

[mjalti]

look if you decide to have a problem after midnight, that’s between you & God tbh

[harvestspriteirl]

Y’all highkey silence your phone forever. Make everyone wait on you. Remind them you are your own person on your own time. 

My phone is never on ring. You’ll be lucky if my bitch ass feels generous enough to put it on vibrate. The shit is in my hand at least 5 hours a day, if I don’t notice the notification or I’m busy then I wouldn’t have responded anyways, I would have just been irked that it went off at all. 

My contacts are at my mercy. They claw at my pants’ legs and beg for my attention. I feel nothing for my notifications except pure contempt and disgust when I can be assed to feel anything for them. 

[professional-moron]

I can’t stop laugh at these tags

[smute]

adhd is having super amplified introspection yet zero self-awareness or decision making skills. i literally never stop overthinking absolutely everything but if you ask me how i am? i dont know. am i enjoying myself? i dont know. my opinion? i dont know. my favorite? i dont know. am i lying? i dont know. do i want this? i dont know. trust my gut feeling? it changes every second. which of these is better? i cant breathe. just pick one? eating glass would hurt less

[crowecreates]

my friend works for a tech service and is one of those guys you call to help you with tech issues and he walks you through them and even can like take over your computer to help and ect. anyways i will never stop thinking about how he told me everyone in his company fears west virginia like when they get a call and see its a west virgnia area code they hate answering bc thats where they get the wildest calls from.

One time thousands of people were out of internet and they were all calling in to complain and he had to tell multiple people “im sorry theres some guy with a shot gun driving around and shooting out the internet boxes there is literally nothing we can do. the police are trying to catch him.” and like. people wouldnt take this as an answer theyd be like well can you fix it and hes like. theres. theres a guy with a shotgun. thats a little out of our area of expertise. 

[writing-prompt-s]

A dating service where matching is based on people’s search history exists. You’re a serial killer. You go on a date with a writer.

[endreams-s]

Serial Killer: metaphorically, if you were to kill someone, how would you do it?

Writer: Air shot between the toes, it’ll look like a heart attack.

Serial Killer who is obviously in love already: *sucks in a breath* ok

[honeypressed]

Writer: how long would it take to die if you were to potentially stab someone in the guts

Serial killer: anywhere from 2 to 30 minutes

Writer, already bringing a ring out: *shaking* thanks

[moonreflectioninthefragglepond]

A++ addition

[tetsuskitten]

Writer: *shows the serial killer the murder scene they’re writing* babe, i’m not sure if this would actually work?

Serial killer: *kisses writer on the forehead and leaves, comes back later, a suspicious scent of blood coming off them* it works baby, you’re doing great

[tigerliliesandcherryblossoms]

I LOVE THIS

[vmohlere]

Oh no, murder comedy is my jam

[laziestofthedreamers]

I love this, I love all of this, but quick question, does the author know? Like are they aware that their significant other is a serial killer or do they just think that they have a morbid sense of humor? It’d be even funnier if the author had no fucking clue, like how Aurthur Conan Doyle was apparently stupidly gullible, and on top of it they’re a horror or crime novelist. Like the serial killer works at a butcher shop or something so it’s completely normal for them to come home smelling like blood, no murders going on here, no sirey. Just my darling coming back home from a long day at work.

Now fast forward a bit and the author has managed to get their first book published, with loving support from the serial killer who helped them fine tune all the murder scenes, and it’s a big hit. Enough so that a detective with the local police department has noticed some disturbing similarities to several active cases, including details that were never released to the press. Obviously he brings this up to his superior and convinces him that there’s something to the theory, but it’s all circumstantial right now. He stakes out the author’s home and is super convinced that the author is the murderer, but they don’t seem to do anything??? Like they literally are at the house all day, that’s it. Most they do is leave for groceries.

So you get this dynamic of the serial killer mining the author for creative murder schemes, the author being lovingly encouraged by the serial killer, and finally the detective who is just so sure that the author is the killer and that if he sticks it out long enough he’ll FINALLY have proof.

[pamgkrthwrites]

Plot twist, The serial killer and detective use to go out so it gets sub what personal. 

“You need to stop seeing them. I think they are a serial killer.”

Serial killer breaths in. “Look-”

[ladyhavilliard]

…perfect

[outerspacekake]

I don’t like actual murder mysteries, but this is perfect

[debrides]

I worked with toddlers and pre schoolers for three years. Sometimes I accidentally slip and tell a friend to say bye to an inanimate object (“say bye bus!”) & occasionally they unthinkingly just do it.

[lesbirdan]

I’m glad there’s a teacher version of “accidentally called teacher ‘mom’”

[hermionegranger]

when I worked at Medieval Times occasionally I would slip in real life and call people “my lord”

[mugsandpugs1-deactivated2019010]

One time during family prayer, dad began: “our father who art in heaven, American Airlines, how can I help you?”

[thomrainierskies]

One time my dad went to the White Castle drive-thru and the lady (who was supposed to say ‘Welcome to White Castle, what’s your crave?’) asked, “Welcome to White Castle, what’s your problem?”

She apologized profusely while my dad proceeded to lose his shit laughing.

[mirab3lle]

Yesterday I went to Wendy’s and the girl said “Welcome to McDonalds” and then just sighed

[icouldwritebooks]

Somebody in the elevator asked me what floor I lived on, and I answered “please open your books to page eight”, and we just kind of stared at each other, blinking.

[crimeronan]

i work retail full time and my script gets frequently messy - ill ask the same question twice, or say “$2.60 is your total” while handing back their change, or say “how are you doing today?” instead of “have a good day!” like name it ive bungled it

but anyway, this lady came thru my line buying a book and the review on the front said: “few books are well written, fewer still are important, and this book manages to be both”

as i handed her the bag i was trying to say “thanks, youre all set” and instead my brain mashed up the review and i said “thanks, youre important”

there was this short pause in which i tried to figure out what the fuck id just said. she blinked and then said “oh thank you! youre important too!”

the real kicker was one of my coworkers. when i was relating this story later his response was “at least you said something NICE. last week i accidentally combined ‘youre welcome’ and ‘no problem’ into ‘youre a problem’”

[agrestenoir]

one time, since I used to work as a daycare teacher with preschoolers, i was on my college campus in my gym, and someone was running in the weight room and tripped over a machine and fell, and instead of offering to help, I just stared and said, “This is why we use our walking feet.” we both sat there for a while until the guy nodded and said, “yeah, okay, i should’ve done that.”

[gin-and-eschatonic]

I’ve spent a good chunk of time working in kitchens, so I still will reflexively say shit like “behind” and “coming around” as I maneuver through spaces and around people.

Which, actually, not such a bad thing; I’m a big guy and can come across as imposing pretty easily. The position calls can help defuse that, and also help avoid collisions.

Less good is the time my brain was half functional and I let slip a “coming with a knife” while grocery shopping. THAT took some explaining.

[harold-theyre-thespians]

I work in an office and send tens of emails to customers every day. Once my mum asked me to send her a train ticket I had bought for her. I emailed her “Hello mum, as agreed, please find attached the ticked you requested. Thanks, Alex”

[narwhalsarefalling]

i worked as a camp counselor, and i would have the kids tap somewhere on my legs if they needed something because im a pretty tall dude. today asked my cat if he needed something.

[wren-likethe-bird]

I have woken up in a cold sweat saying “is that for here or to go?”

[la-mancha-screwjob]

Every time a friend thanks me, and I respond with “gladly” or “my pleasure”, I die completely 1000% inside

[fair-itself]

I work at a plasma donation center. When processing donors, we call them by name, they walk up to the counter, and then we ask for their name and donor number. One time, instead of saying “Robert” I hollered “Name and donor number!?” into a full waiting room. Three people started announcing their names and donor numbers before we all realized that I fucked up.

[maplefiasco]

In college, I was a barista at Borders (remember Borders, you guys?!) I once drove through Taco Bell on my way home after a shift. When the cashier said, “okay, that’ll be $5.46!” I cheerfully responded, “Do you have a Borders rewards card?”

[iamthatbeast]

I have dealt with so many difficult customers over the years that I used to angrily call my dog “Sir” when I was mad at him.

[widonotts]

My first job was at my nearest Panera, and after coming home from a ten-hour Sunday morning shift, I was exhausted; but when my mom called me to come downstairs, instead of replying in the grumpy teenagerish tone I usually would, I said in my cheeriest, fakest voice, “Not a problem at all, let me just check with my manager!” before realizing my mistake.

[artwlw]

my coworker went to back up the cash registers one time and she had been at customer service right before. when we finish with a customer we have to sometimes get the attention of the next person and will shout “i can get the next person in line!” but instead of saying that she yelled “HI WHAT CAN I HELP YOU WITH” to everyone in the general area

[youlovelucie]

I have told my dog “no thank you” so many times after working at a preschool

[spacecores]

a couple of times i’ve gotten stuck in a hello how are you good how are you good how are you loop with an equally tired Fred Meyer’s cashier after a long shift but the best time was after a 10 to 10 post-holidays after they told me my total, I asked if they would like a bag today and after a confused few seconds they were like, “no… I have the bags”

[thebritishteapot]

Worked in a gallery where we asked people to take off their backpacks in order not to accidentally damage paintings. So when I went to the shop later and saw a guy in the line in front of me, I told him he had to remove his backpack. He probably thought I was politely trying to rob him.

[valkyrieritter]

The other day they had me working with softserve and fried dough. I was burned out because I kept bouncing back and forth between the fryer and my register and these people had like, 8 things in their order. We get to the ice cream part of the order, and it comes in a bowl or cone. Instead of saying “Would you like the vanilla in a bowl or cone?” I said “Would you like the bowl in a vanilla or cone?” And we all stopped and had to think that through as my cart runner is staring me down like “tf are you doing?”

[dhampir-dyke]

I work at Hardees and we have to yell “thank you” whenever we’re told to do something because of how loud the kitchen is.

One morning, my mom hollered at me to wake up, and half-asleep me yells at full volume,

“THANK YOU”

[eyefriend-deactivated20181218]

i work with dogs, and i have to be a bit strict with them sometimes in order to keep fights from breaking out. recently, while making tea, the kettle started boiling sooner than i wanted, so without thinking i turned around sharply, pointed my finger at it and stared it down, and said, “Bad boy! You need to wait!” needless to say i was very glad i was alone

[mynameisdevon]

I know I’ve reblogged this a billion times but I’ve worked retail for 8 years and these things are never not funny.

[camtankerous]

One time while cashiering I tried to ask a man if he wanted his milk bagged but instead said “do you want your bags milked?” And he laughed at me for a solid five minutes while I tried to emotionally recover