10 Things Motherhood Taught Me
There is a lot to be said about motherhood. It is a very challenging, but fulfilling job. You spend all your awake time literally working for your children, whether you are with them or away from them, everything you do, once you are a mother, your child’s life always comes before your own. That’s a fact.
The most important responsibility for any parent, wherever in the world they might be, is to educate their child. We all teach our children about our most treasured values, we tell them what we believe is the right and wrong way of doing things and how they should or should not behave. We all want our children to have the highest level of knowledge possible. We sometimes take this responsibility too seriously that we forget the most important thing: that all the wonders and marvels of the world can be observed in a simple grain of sand.
I believe we can all agree that children are happier than us, adults. One could argue that it is because they know nothing about life or the world we live in. Well, I think that’s debatable; we are too busy teaching them what we know as adults who have seen and experienced so much in life, that we forget what we can learn from them as people who are seeing the world with new, fresh and excited eyes.
There are so many things that children do or say that we don’t pay much attention to, just because we think that they are too innocent to make any sort of sense. But if only we took a few minutes to observe the behaviour of a child in different settings and circumstances, we can see that they know a whole awful lot about themselves, the world around them and so much about life in general. The most amazing thing is that they are unaware of the amount of knowledge they have within them.
Through children you can learn what true love is all about. My children taught me that patience is the mother of all treasures, they taught me how to give without awaiting anything in return; they taught me that I need to fight with all my heart for what I desire, but above all, children taught me how to communicate my deepest feelings in a better way. I learned a lot of things just by sitting there and watching my children do what they do best, living their little life. I cannot write about all of the things I learned from my children at once; for now, I will just provide a list of 10 most important life lessons adults can learn from children.
1. Be Present : I don’t know if you have noticed but children are not big fans of multi tasking. You can’t be starring at your Smartphone screen for long when they are playing in the park. They want you to roll on the floor with them when they are playing. A child is always fully present in whatever they do, they pay attention to the tinniest bugs on their path, they can’t help it to scream “The moon! “when they see one. Children are always excited about everything and everyone around them and they require that you listen to their silly stories with your undivided attention. So, be with them, be like them, just be present.
2. Do not make promises that you can’t keep:” Mommy needs to work in silence for about an hour; can you please not disturb her? I’ll give you a candy if you do that!” In a child’s mind, this means you have to do it. Even if you have to drive to the grocery store, promises are sacred things for children. You can’t turn around and say you will give the candy after their lunch or nap. The candy was for being silent for an hour and that’s all they care about. This brings me to the third point:
3. There is no better time than NOW: If you tell a child that you will buy them their favourite toy tomorrow, and if that child is anything like my sons they will reply “Why not today?” And they will keep asking until you give them a satisfying answer, usually as soon as you agree to one of their requests they just want to “put on our shoes and go right now”!
4. Be Persistent: Let’s just say you don’t agree to go to the toy store right away or you can’t give the promised candy right after you are done with your work, or that you seem too distracted when they are telling you about their favourite scene in their favourite cartoon…every parent knows that the child will not stop talking, asking, crying and begging until they get what they want. This process can even take days sometimes but they always win in the end. They are particularly persistent in complaining about the things that they don’t appreciate. They will tell you how sad they are until you turn their frown into a smile.
5. Dance, laugh with all your heart whenever can and wherever you are: 5 months old babies dance as soon as they hear a beat of any kind; they just seem to have all the world’s rhythms in their blood and fragile little bones. And have you heard the sound of a child’s laugh? Priceless!
6. Always give crystal clear instructions: It is true that children are slow learners in certain things compared to your average adult. And they love to ask many questions, and for some reason, they keep coming back, the same questions over and over again. I think it’s because we often tend to give them adult answers. Children need clear and easy to process information, and this teaches us to be patient, you literally have to take a pause and lower yourself to their level of thinking to get some of the right answers to their questions. We all know at least one adult in our life that needs that kind of special attention, don’t we?
7. If you like something, keep doing it until you don’t like it anymore: If you have ever read a book to a child, then you know that it is business as you usual to read the same book over and over again, back to back until you just can’t read anymore; because if they like that book, they don’t want any other book, and they want you to read it until the end of time. My children can watch the same 1 minute YouTube video for an entire hour, and laugh at it each time! Sometimes I think they have some sort super laughing powers! They can do it again for the next 3 days and then forget all about it like it never happened!
8. You don’t have to eat the food you don’t like: “I don’t like spinach, so I will not eat it. “ Any parent in this situation will want to tell the child how good for their health spinach is, and they may listen today and eat it, but they sure as hell won’t eat it again tomorrow. It’s up to you the parent, to hide the spinach in the food they like. So maybe you can learn about you can learn from your children and just forget about the stupid diets you incessantly hear about on TV , unless of course you like the food in the diet!
9. Sharing is the best way to establish a rapport: Every child in the world knows that the quickest way to make a new friend is to share one of your toys with them.
10. Friendship is strengthened through play: Whatever this translates to in your messed up adult brain, Go figure!
As you can see, this list is far from being complete, and I know what you are thinking; that you don’t need to be a parent or observe children for hours to know these things. Of course I am aware that I did not teach you anything new. After all, we have all been children and we went through all of that I mentioned above, but there is a difference between knowing something and truly grasping the deeper meaning of the things we know. If you understand these things then you realize that it does not suffice to just know them, they need to be lived. Just as children live them. Parents don’t teach children these things. They just come to them naturally and we slowly forget most of them as we grow up. If we can reincorporate half of this stuff in our everyday adult life, I am sure that we and the people closest to us would be a little happier. We would learn to be patient and caring with other people and yet stay a little selfish in a way, just like children. We would communicate better but above all, we would learn to unlearn some of the bullshit we have taken in when we were growing up! and start appreciate the little pleasures of everyday life.In the end we will have much room left to Love simply and beautifully.
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