So last night I was on my way back from work and got at text from Gage saying he was hanging out with one of his friends, who just happens to be female. And despite his assurances I got this little ball in the pit of my stomach, that worry, you know? But he told me he would text me when he was leaving. So I wander until 6:30ish when he said he was on his way back, and I'm outside at the tables when he shows up. I ask my usual "how are you?" And without thinking because it's so much a part of our routine he's like "fine." Then a pause. "No I'm not fine. We ended up making out." Yes my stomach dropped a little, but overall I was surprisingly fine with it, especially considering it's me. I mean we aren't actually dating, so what's the big deal. I vocalized this. "It's just, I feel bad, like I wronged you." This is coming from the guy that has remorselessly cheated on past girlfriends. We both are bad with that, but I usually do feel bad in some way or another. Not him, at least not until now. And it's not even really cheating. We aren't dating. Yes I'm going home with him next weekend but we aren't dating! It still kinda blows my mind. And we both admitted while sober that we like each other. Big step for both of us to say the least. I'll admit it hurts, and it still has a bit of a pinch to it, but it's not worth obsessing over, it's not worth getting jealous over. The girl obviously needs to get her shit straightened out, because she actually has a boyfriend and is off leaving hickeys on guys she used to call strictly friends. If anything, I feel bad for her. She's confused, something I can completely relate to, and she's going about it the wrong way. And both him and I think the hickey was just to get a rise out of me, which would lead to a slew of drama and I'm not gonna give in to that kind of pettiness. If anything has come out of this truly good, it's that we both have become comfortable enough to tell each other anything. I really respect him blatantly telling me. I'm a little proud that I somehow have enough of a pull on him to make him regretful, to make him feel bad for hurting me. But this little bit of sweetness is on top of a lot of other things. Now he's holding my hand as we're lying in bed going to sleep. He's always holding me, always tickling me, always messing with me somehow when we're alone. And I am not gonna lie, I can't get enough of it. He's softening up to me in some ways. Like the other night, he was tickling me, and because I'm as uncoordinated as a day old colt, I hit my head against the wall and he was all over himself with I'm sorry. It's odd, I'll be the first to admit, but it's sweet. And like I mentioned earlier, this weekend we're driving down to see his mom. Which absolutely terrifies me! But he's scared for a different reason--apparently of us getting along to well. I just have to survive another week of work and school and stress until I can get a little mini vacation.
gamechangershow
gummygunk
yousharknotpass
blakekathryn
dailybridgerton
