GlitterLuxeAndChaos

I’m Baby. 🌹 Expensive, difficult and talks back.

[glitterluxeandchaos]

I tried to leave on Monday… he wouldn’t let me.

Cuz it had to be his idea.

It had to be *him* leaving *me*. Cuz I’m not allowed to leave him.

[glitterluxeandchaos]

Monday beachin’ 😘🌊✨

[glitterluxeandchaos]

Hi.

I’m not really here.. am I? I don’t feel like I’m really anywhere to be honest. But I’m “alive and well” on IG. I hope you’re doing okay. 💗

xx

[glitterluxeandchaos]

A bunch of pics of me in Vegas this week 😘

[glitterluxeandchaos]

You guyssss, take me back to Vegas so I can play this game again. Cuz I loved it. 👌🏼🎰

[glitterluxeandchaos]

I have no clue why I like this photograph of me, but I do. It’s weird. I dunno.

[glitterluxeandchaos]

And just as soon as I say I want out… I beg to come back in. And he lets me. So I tell him I’ll be good and I tell him I’ll be better.. and then I hear him tell me I’m a good girl, and all is well again.

I seem to subconsciously crave this toxic cycle. I feed off of his chaos. I don’t want to.. but I do. I say “he gets off on watching me beg..” but I get off on watching him make me beg. He gets high on being in control, and I get high off of giving him control.

[glitterluxeandchaos]

His wording is very intentional. Because he never said “he’d let me go.” He specifically said he would “let me out.” …and I know him. That basically means… I am “free to roam around without the leash…” but not free from his reach when he decides I’ve “gone too far.” Because he never said he would *let me go.* And he won’t. He’ll never let me go. I beg him to let me go all the time. He won’t.

And though half of me wants to go—the other half doesn’t truly want him to let me go. So as soon as I get done throwing my fit and he’s let me kick and scream— it’s the tug of the leash he holds that I crave. It gives me a high all over again. He knows this.. he knows I’m his addict.

[glitterluxeandchaos]

I never know when to shut up. I try so hard to be good, to be respectful.. but every so often I just say whatever I want, cuz I know it’s via text. But I wouldn’t dream of saying those things to his face, in person. I wouldn’t even have the same tone. His presence would have put me in my place. I wouldn’t have gotten two sentences out before he looked at me with that look and shook his head. That’s all it would have taken, and I would have shut up and changed my tone. I need to learn how to shut up.

[glitterluxeandchaos]

He knows that my kicking and screaming will switch to begging when he tightens his grip on my throat. And he does it every time.

[glitterluxeandchaos]

Raise your hand if you started “the boroughs“ on Netflix and then had nightmares about the “bird” and what it does to people, all night. 👋🏼

😂🫠🥴I hated it. Lolol I hated it so much you guys. 😩😩😩 Please tell me I’m not the only one that got so creeped out by it.

[glitterluxeandchaos]

Today at work…

-hung out at the pool.

-watched ASMR videos.

-made an iced coffee.

-folded some towels.

-ran a couple errands.

-got my “make up done” by an 7 year old.

And I’m good with that..✌🏼

[glitterluxeandchaos]

Pick your filtered Cher photo. 💋 I love youuuu.

[glitterluxeandchaos]

My eyelashes are brushing up against my glasses when I blink. (And no they’re not fake.) 😵‍💫 ugh.

[glitterluxeandchaos]

When you get this, respond with five things that make you happy. Then send it anonymously to the last ten people in your notifications. And have a lovely day :)

Some things that make me happy…

1. When my daughter asks if I wanna hang out in her room and listen to music. 🥹 (of course I do!)

2. When I get cards in the mail.💌 I love snail mail, but I’ve been sooo slack on sending it and need to get back to being better about it.

3. When I make a recipe I’ve never made before and it turns out really good. 🥘

4. Flowers. Always flowers. 💐

5. When I take a photo and it turns out really good and I feel like a photographer for a minute. 😂

[glitterluxeandchaos]

-my kiddos birthday balloons from yesterday. How did my baby turn 18? Where has the time gone? 🥹 she also graduated. 👩🏻‍🎓🥳 so proud of her!

-been so busy the last few weeks, I feel like I’m just constantly going, going, going. Ugh.

-my last day at this job is July 31…so, I will have a bit of a break in August before starting a new job.

-two doctors appts this week. Blah.

-it’s been hot as balls here the last week. Like 98°-99° days (and we in NC so, full humidity. Yuck!)

-I’m looking forward to my vacation in Vegas. (No, I’ll never stop going there. I love it.)

-gonna try and plan out a couple fun trips in August with my time off.

-need to shower and get a few things done around here but, I’m also trying really hard to let myself relax today.

-how’s you?

I’m sorry if I’ve not gotten to your tags you’ve tagged me in.. I will try to do that today. I’ve just been sorta busy with life, my job, my kids party etc.

Okay love youuuu ♥️

[glitterluxeandchaos]

Booked my car rental for Vegas. ✅

Booked a facial and a massage in Vegas. ✅

Just need to get there.

(Things that are keeping me going.)