a thing i think about, and it hits me like it's the most profound revelation i've ever had every time i think of it, is the idea of magic, and how when you zoom out and look at the basic building blocks of "magic", you can see how things in our everyday life are actually kind of like that. like for example, when i make a batch of gluten-free dairy-free donuts because i know my friend is having a hard day and enjoys an emotional support donut. that's me combining ingredients in a specifically prescribed method to achieve a concoction that is likely to lift the spirits of my friend, who will get to both enjoy the donut, and also feel cared for and seen. i'm spending however much of my time creating this concoction with care and infusing my care for my friend into the universe, like a teabag of good vibes steeping in the teapot that is the universe, you know? and like, the more you invest in and dedicate to your magic craft, the more you're able to achieve more skillful levels of success, in both the complexity and quality of the concoctions you make, and also in knowing what concoctions to make when, and how to recognize when that type of care is called for, which kind of feels parallel to like, becoming a super advanced wizardy guy. like, there was a time when my level of skill in that type of magic was such that if i knew my friend was going to be present at a food gathering, i'd make sure there was a dessert option that met their dietary needs, usually just based on my best guess at what they would like, and not always being 100% certain of their dietary restrictions, but always very well-intentioned. it's just that then, the magic i was doing was more like, i'm taking the time and energy to infuse that goodwill towards you into the universe, but it's a less potent teabag, or the water is colder so it's not as efficient. i didn't know the techniques to make the magic concoctions myself so i had to resort to buying premade ones, and i didn't know enough about that world to know how much i didn't know about the finicky details of those different concoctions (like, gluten-free baked goods brands are very hit and miss and people often have very strong feelings about textures and there just aren't a lot of options), that was me like fumbling with my magic wand trying to get the basics down, and then i advanced my craft in a number of ways including familiarity with gluten-free eating and baking, familiarity with dairy-free eating and baking, familiarity with my friend's preferences and dietary restrictions as well as knowing how to communicate with my friend about these things more comfortably and therefore be more precise and honed in when i decide to make a magic concoction for my friend aka do a magic to lift their spirits in some small way...... ok no i'm high and i've lost the plot now, but wanted to write this thoughts down before they went away