Nam Juri, It’s Okay to Not Be Okay, Episode 10 “The Girl Who Cried Wolf”

if i look back, i am lost

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@glitterysublimetidalwave
Nam Juri, It’s Okay to Not Be Okay, Episode 10 “The Girl Who Cried Wolf”
FUCK MY LIFE
guys who are losing their minds (me)
well earned nap 💙🧡
12x02 spyfall, part 2 / 13x02 war of the sontarans
doctor stop repressing your trauma and let yaz support you challenge
GUYS, IT HAPPENED 💙💙🏳️🌈
The fandom:
her two-hearted weirdo 💙💙
[image description: digital artwork of yasmin khan and the thirteenth doctor hugging. Yaz has one arm around the doctor and the other hand is gently holding her cheek. The doctor is holding Yaz's waist with both hands, their faces are close and they stare lovingly into each other's eyes. The painting has a yellow/purple gradient background, and soft lighting highlights their faces and clothes. Yaz is wearing a purple jumper and the doctor has her magenta shirt, without her coat. On the bottom you can see the artist's signature: Jolivira /end description]
Thasmin in every episode — Doctor Who: Flux
+ Bonus:
thinking about river saying ‘you don’t expect a sunset to admire you back’ about the doctor and then having the doctor look at yaz like this
I’ve just been rewatching that Thasmin fireworks scene on loop because I’m actually obsessed with Ms. Jodie Whittaker’s heartbreaking acting choices.
So we start with the obligatory het couple looking at each other (Because Chibnall apparently can’t put a m/f duo in without pairing them).
And then we cut to 13, who’s happy and relieved that they all managed to get out alive just in the nick of time (everybody lives!)
She turns to Yaz who’s standing next to her.
It sort of looks like she was about to say something, probably some little quip of some sort about how that went well, but then-
You can physically see her breath catch. Whatever may have been on her mind is completely gone now and despite the marvelous fireworks display going on, she’s staring at the way the colors play off of Yaz’s face. This is her ‘Oh’ moment, that moment we all live for in slow burn fics. No words are needed because it’s all right there on her face.
Except-
-She doesn’t want it. Look at how her face falls once she realizes (but she still can’t bring herself to look away). She’s gone from ‘Oh’ to ‘Oh shit please no’. She’s already lost so much (this version especially has been through the ringer). She’s tried so hard to keep everyone at arm’s length, especially Yaz, so they wouldn’t get hurt, because nothing good ever comes from getting too involved (Rose, River, Clara…) but it’s too late. Her carefully constructed walls are tumbling down and there’s nothing she can do to stop it. She’s terrified.
She has to physically force herself to turn away. Look at the huge sigh of resignation, how defeated she looks right after. It’s not gonna end well and she knows it. She’s regenerating soon and she went and got herself attached again. Silly old Doctor. She’s tired and old and sick of losing people, but she’s already in too deep.
So for anyone wondering if the feelings are reciprocated, they are, but she’s not happy about it. I’ve been reading 13 as aroace but I’m realizing now that she’s just very good at repressing things. Her feelings have been pretty dormant and it’s mostly been a one-way street with her and Yaz (on Yaz’s part), but this is her moment. She can’t pretend to be ignorant and flippant anymore and now she has to deal with it.
All this is to say I owe Jodie Whittaker my life and I’m ready to get my heart broken again (Hell Bent still wrecks me).
“Is it that obvious?”
Yasmin Khan, you speak my language.
The Doctor HAS been sharing things with Yaz though. Flying the TARDIS, for example. The Hologram, for another. She has been showing care and compassion for Yaz. She’s been trying, it’s just not the emotional opening up that Yaz wants.
She is doing a bunch of stuff for Yaz in the depserate hope that she can keep Yaz at arms length (aka safe from whatever’s coming for the doctor) without losing her in the process
She is so desperately trying to keep Yaz alive while not having to let her go. And then Dan walks in and hits her square in the face with the Wok of Reality
yaz + 😍 when looking at the doctor
+ bonus:
I will Not let you die because of decisions I’ve taken!