GnarlyNatas @gnarlynatas-blog - Tumblr Blog

Let Me Sleep Again

I remember the image of you ontop of him, like it burned into my eyelids.

I remember you looking at me with lust glazed eyes, and how seeing me standing in the frame, of my own fucking bedroom door, cleared the fog from your brain but apparently your dick never got the message because you didn’t even pull out of him, you just... You froze.

It took me one week to move out, but it took you six months of fucking lying, and cheating, and destroying everything we had, for you to even realize I wouldn’t turn away while you did whatever you wanted.

And I keep hearing, “Who even was he? Did you recognize him?” Like it was his fault, the kid looked barely old enough to be able to drink, and he’s supposed to know better? He’s supposed to see through your charming smile, or the smell of you cologne?

I don’t blame that kid. I feel sorry for him. But the memory of that kids face, filling with shame isn’t what I remember. And it wasn’t that kid that decided to be..’Well, you.

In The Works PT 3

Kerri was the joker, the youngest of the four men and the lowest rank of the men in their Pack. Alec was above him in rank and age. The quick witted man had them all beat intellect wise, and he was the architect of the company they owned. Jaysun was Zane's beta, and his younger brother. And it was on his request they were off to see the warlock. Zane listened and spoke softly as Alec drove. The warlocks home was a long drive, but they were used to long drives, especially in the last few weeks. The entire pack had grieved as hard as Zane, as whatever emotion he felt, all the Wolves felt too. But all knew that Zane would feel the loss of his mate for a long time to come. As the pulled into the drive of the warlocks home, they felt his presence in their minds, and all went quiet as he used their lines of communication. "Zane. What brings the Ruin's Pack to my home?"

It's so funny, that it isn't at all.

I was thinking about you the other day, and it’s so funny. Because you opened my eyes to what being alive is. Isn’t it funny, how you sometimes miss someone? Not all the things they are, just the small things. Like the way your laugh was music, ringing in my ears. And the way your eyes sparkled when you saw me. And how delicate your body was pressed against mine. And isn’t it just, fucking hilarious, how you betrayed my every trust? How you gave yourself to other men out of paranoid jealousy? How you gave the parts of you away that I treated like gold? You were my last molecule of oxygen inside a gas chamber, I was good to you. And isn’t it funny? Wasn’t it? Because you laughed, you laughed so hard when you told me and you were so sure. You said “I guess we are even.”

I just stared at you, discouraged. Disappointed. Like you had punched my lungs out of my throat, and I wish you had because I remember I couldn’t breathe and I wanted to cry but I was so close to laughter, I was hollow and I could feel that lion of emotion drag its claws up my insides and I told that lion to stop that shit. I forced it back down, I told you “Jesus, Jesse. I loved you. I never touched anyone else, you turned me into a lovesick puppy, I adored you.”

And I’d like to take this time right now to apologise to every women I dated since I left you. Because honestly, I knew in my fucking heart I was gay and I treated them wrong and I’m so. I’m so sorry but, Jesse.

Isn’t it funny? Because talking to you now, I’m trying to convince myself I did the right thing by leaving. And I swear Jesse, I am happy now. But it took five years to not miss you every day. Jesse it took me five years to be okay with what you did.

Jesse. Babe, I’m out now. The world knows I’m gay and I’m proud to say I survived you. But I’ve seen that look in your eyes babe. Five years ago, I had the same look. But I’m not yours anymore. Maybe in five years. Maybe you’ll understand why.

#comingout #mistakesweremade

In The Works Pt 2

He stood at 5'11, tanned skin glowing in the morning sun as he pushed his shoulder length black hair out of his angular face. Golden eyes flashing as he pulled his jeans and boots back on, slinging his shirt over his shoulder he turned and walked back towards the house. He listened for his sons, heard them change and the heavy patter of their feet as they tumbled past him laughing and shouting.

He watched them eat, sipped his coffee as he ate with them. He was amazed at how different they looked, yet how similar they were personality wise. “Morning Jack and Sean. Morning Zane.” Turning his head to look at his eldest and only daughter as he pulled his hair back from his face, Zane smiled and closed his eyes as she kissed his forehead.

She wasn’t his, not by blood. But she had taken him as her dad when he and her mother had married, and he had happily filled the role. Each day she was looking more like her mother, he realised as she made herself coffee and sat down to eat. “Alyson, what are you doing today?” Zane queried as he watched the eighteen year old tie Jack’s hair back. “I was going to bake for a while and then take the boys down to see Aunt Josie and her kids. You?” Alyson had tied Sean’s hair back as she spoke, and looked up at Zane as he poured another cup of coffee. “Off to see the old warlock. Taking Alec, Kerri and Jaysun with me.”

Zane left shortly after, kissing his boys foreheads and hugging Alyson before he drove off in the old Tahoe. He stopped at Alec’s, where he greeted the three men. They left in Alec’s car, headed for the office as Zane reflected on the past few weeks, and his inner turmoil over the death of his wife.

#werewolf #workinprogress

In The Works

He was up at dawn, walking through the fields of the family farm as he watched his twin sons running and tackling each other. Stopping to stretch, he watched his sons laugh and whoop as they stopped to play fight. Whistling to his boys, he stripped out of the boots, jeans and shirt he wore. His boys came tumbling back over as he tossed his shirt to the side. Closing his eyes with a smile, he let the beast explode out from within and he took the form of his inner wolf. His sons laughed gleefully as they followed suit, and the three of them took off for a morning run, tumbling through the grass as the playfully jumped and nipped at one another.

You’d never know, watching this, that they’d lost a wife and mother just weeks before.

#werewolf #allnewwork #workinprogress

witchplanetgames

Hey! We made the list <3

Click through to check out Femhype and this list for other women/poc/disabled/lgbtqia inclusive Let Players and Twitch Streamers!

gnarlynatas-blog

Heck yes! This was totally what was needed!

#supportsmallstreams #femhype

femhype

#SupportSmallStreams! Boosting More Friendly, Inclusive Let’s Players

Not too long ago, we ran our first #SupportSmallStreams post in response to an ask we received on Tumblr. When we reached out to all of you in the community, it became startlingly clear just how necessary a list of inclusive Let’s Players was for everyone. And why not boost them here? There are literally thousands of Twitch streams and YouTube channels out there with potentially friendly spaces, including ours that recently launched. Just because we cultivate smaller communities right now doesn’t mean we aren’t looking for new gamers to join our teams. 💕

If you’re looking for Let’s Players on Twitch, YouTube, or both platforms who maintain spaces that are welcoming to those marginalized in the gaming industry, this is the spot to keep an eye on. We’ll continue to make an effort to curate this list for you, but we need your help in order to do it! Share the shit out of this post. That way, more Let’s Players will find out about it so we can boost them, too. See? It’s like a never-ending fist bump, only you’re getting a list of super cool spaces to follow.

Continue reading⇥

gnarlynatas-blog

Heck yes. So down for this!! I would love peeps to pop into my streams!

Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot. Nothing is going to get better. It's not.

Dr Seuss

chuck-lemons-at-people-deactiva

My life…

falling-through-my-cold-hands-d

“Nothing makes me happier than watching creators create. They put their pants on one leg at a time- except when they put their pants on, they make gold records. #morecowbell #ninjasexparty#nsp #art #comedy #rockfuck #butts#nerdporn #hypetrain #newalbum” (x)

gnarlynatas-blog

Ahhhhhhh yes yes yes. Also Dan you beautiful man mmf~

raspberriesonharrystummy

Reblog if its ok to message you during this holiday season incase Im feeling lonely or out of place during family events because no one should be alone on Christmas

just-reblogging-stuff-deactivat

Reblog if you wouldn't mind being in a polyamorous relationship.

Need to prove a point to my mom here. She says no one in their “right mind” would ever do that and that its “fake” and “its not real, it just a stupid trend made by someone.”

gnarlynatas-blog

Its a thing. Been there. Woukd do it again.

Glass Hearts & Broken Friendships

What the hell? I spend every free moment with you, what do you mean you don't understand why? Why do you think I come around here out of free will? I don't dominate your life, I'm just a part of it. I always have been. Its heart breaking to see you call me by his name. I've always stood beside you. Always. Still I refrain. I don't talk at you, I don't talk on when I'm out of words. We never used to need words when we were together. Now you just ask so many questions. You know me so well. I never explain. Then the truth spills out. Comes tumbling from my mouth and I can't stop the words. And now, now we can't just be two guys hanging out. I've told you now. I wait for you to say something, to speak to me. When you do, I feel my heart drop. All you say is "I'm sorry. Believe me, I love you, I do. But not in that way."

#writing heartbroken #letting you down #should have refrained

themostrandomestblog

When I met Jordan, I went in believing that love conquers all. I did not know that love could be mixed with deceit, anger and frustration. // We had no money - nothing to do but smoke weed all day. Hours and hours of being stoned. Maybe that’s why I didn’t realize how fucked up we were. \ I could somehow bring myself to believe that those girls were nothing to him but when Jenna’s name came up, I just knew. ‘The man I love is lying to me. He’s been lying to me this whole time.’ // Seeing Logan is nice. He’s tall, dark and handsome. I like cuddling with him. But… I am jaded. It’s hard to not overthink things when you’ve been treated badly by someone else. You constantly look for ways they might hurt you. It’s terrible. I am left wondering “what IS love anyway? More importantly, should I allow myself to feel it again when I know it might not work in the end?” \ What if I fall? Oh, my darling, what if you fly?

gnarlynatas-blog

Christ i love this

Perfect Moments Pt. 1

The way her lips caressed mine, how her body felt perfect in my hands. I had to admire how our skin colors clashed as my hand stroked her thigh, I thought I knew love. But this moment, right here, laying in bed with the sheets across my chest and her fingers in my hair, her head on my shoulder, this was love. How I could feel her heart beating at her ribs, how she sighed in my ear. Now I have had my fair share of drugs but damn was she the best drug I had ever had. If I could OD on the smell of her hair, the taste of her lips on mine.. Surely I should be dead by now. Turning slowly so as not to wake her, pulling her into my chest, knowing I would never give her up. Sighing softly into her hair as she nuzzles closer, my lips brushing her forehead as my eyes slowly close.

You know that feeling you get when you notice a coworker has a nice ass and they ask what you've been staring at for the last twenty minutes? The 'oh shit god fucking damn it I dont have an exscuse' feeling?

"Oh wow you are super cute.. oh god i love your voice." *shuffles feet, slides hands in pockets, lopsided grin as i back the fuck away* "No thank you."

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