thinking about Shane's first pride night with the Centaurs ;u;

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thinking about Shane's first pride night with the Centaurs ;u;
I would take a job pushing the Sisyphus rock if it paid 20 an hour and I could wear my headphones
hello i just remembered I have tumblr I am the person who made the dnp photocard quiz (LINKED IN THE PHATREON OMFG) but im scared of tumblr but guys do my quiz
yo phamalam this includes all 55 cards hahhahah end me it got deleted halfway through so ive had to remake im not ok (by annie!! @donondphol
ooh so you like my blog? name five of my fetishes
a centaurs appreciation post bc I love these characters and this team with all my heart 💗
please note hands on arse pushing down
no, I don't think you understand...everything is about shane hollander actually
i think if shane and ilya ever get a divorce that would be ilya’s final straw for buying an illegal tiger. He’s letting the tiger loose in the house and going “shane would never let me do this! I’m doing so much better without him!” and notably he does get mauled by the tiger.
he’d look great with an angsty facial scar
Harris do his best as always
love the idea of hollanovs hookups just gradually becoming more and more drawn out over the years, as they start to miss each other more and more in the interim.
when they’re finally alone after a game (after weeks of anticipation… a fresh haircut, new cologne, tailored jeans that fit just right) and they’re just all over each other. So desperate, like their skin has been on fire for weeks and the other one is the only salve that works.
And it’s all furious energy after the game and the waiting… but as they fall into the bed and it’s happening so quickly and it will be over so quickly….
they both do everything they can to draw it out without the other noticing.
Shane is trying to make his abnormally precise clothes folding seem teasing and tempting instead of a moment to take in Ilya’s presence, his eyes on Shane’s skin.
Just as Shane is about to come Ilya remembers just how short the countdown is between Shane’s orgasm and Shane leaving him alone again. So Ilya edges him to tears, revelling in Shane’s desperation but also just trying to delay the inevitable for as long as possible.
And if Shane just happens to make a mess across both of their stomachs…
And if Ilya just happens to suggest that they shower together again…
And if a shower turns into sleepy third round handjobs and they both just flop onto the hotel bed exhausted to take a nap…
Well, it’s not like the other seems to have any problem with it
Dick was only 19 when he told Donna, “I feel as if I’ve known and loved you all my life.”
That’s some platonic soulmate shit right there lads.
Donna was only 19 when she told Dick, “I’m so glad that you’re giving me away, Dick. I wouldn’t dream of anyone else.”
And then she told Dick she loved him right before she walked down the aisle.
"what if someone regrets transitioning" if you are 18 or over in free country usa you can walk into any tattoo parlor and ask for a tattoo that will be on your body forever and ever and ever and they will give it to you with the understanding that if you dont like the result or you regret it later that's your fucking problem and not theirs
the replacement of websites with apps sounds so backwards when you actually describe it. like hmm you have to download an entire program onto your device each time you want access to a portal, where it takes up storage indefinitely. somebody should invent an app where you can "browse" any portal just by typing in its address... 🥴
what if svetlana had at least some level of feelings for ilya. how could she not, her best friend who she’s been having sex with for years. ”i know you love me, just not like jane.” what if she was allowed to actually be at least a little bit bitter and not this self-sacricifing ever understanding holy being.
what if rose was at least a little bit resentful of shane. she was interested in him, found him attractive, had a crush on him, was intimate with him, wanted a relationship with him, at least at first. she wanted shane! how dare you as a gay man use me, a woman, as a tool to figure your own shit out. what if she was allowed to be angry, at least for some of it.
what if the women had teeth.
Hollanov canon au Shane gets outed but no one can identify the guy and they decide to hide ilya’s identity until they don’t have to worry about his Russian passport only now there are a bunch of men coming forward claiming to be the guy and so Shane has to state the guy who will remain anonymous is his long time partner and then guys online keep trying to convince him that they wouldn’t hide/to break up with that guy and Ilya is basically foaming at the mouth at this point.
He counts down the days and as soon as he doesn’t have to worry about russia he starts posting online asking Shane Hollander to pretty please consider him for his next boyfriend and Shane visibly flirts back and people are going crazy because does this mean that the other guy is out of the picture or???
Only they post a picture of them together a few days later that reveals Ilya was the guy all along and the internet explodes
“I can believe I asked Shane Hollander if Ilya Rozanov could fight I just barely escaped with my jaw intact omg”
”sorry I said I was better looking than your boyfriend I have taken my humble medication”
”what kind of power does hockey robot Shane Hollander hold to pull rose landry AND Ilya rozanov???”
i do think there’s a world where ilya tells cliff marleau about the friendship plan and cliff is like “well if ur cover story is friendship than we need to make ur reputation with friends super gay king” and ilya is like “bro … you would do that … for us …” and cliff is like “no worries big dawg”. because like, hollander doesn’t do the gay for the homies thing naturally, but if roz has a reputation, it won’t be weird if he does it in public even if hollsy doesn’t reciprocate. cliff is a genius.
anyway, that’s how the internet spends a year speculating that ilya rozanov and cliff marleau have explored each others bodies. they are so all over each other and constantly tweeting gay shit about each other that ilya’s time with shane barely even gets a second glance. the first time ilya drags shane out to meet cliff, a photo gets posted on twitter and everyone is like “poor shane having to third wheel these two #ally”.
obviously shane is gnawing on furniture because he’s so jealous, but the plan does work. and when they get outed, cliff works it into his best man speech.
After playing in LA, Rose takes the Cens out to party. The rookies are besides themselves, Wyatt geeks out so hard that he gets to meet more actors who play superheroes, Luca gets hit on by three different models and takes at least one of them up on it, and Ilya let's out his inner club rat and is just enjoying being in a good club. Shane goes along to spend time with Rose and make sure no one pukes in front of a camera again (looking at you, Holmberg!). Ilya, Shane and Rose end up leaving together. They’re all a little tipsy—the club had good Russian vodka, so Ilya had a lot and Rose joined him to “bond” and Shane indulged in a few beers which he still doesn’t do a lot during the season even though he’s more relaxed about his diet now, so they’re all not entirely sober. Outside of the club, they’re a little loud which draws enough attention that people recognize them—well, let’s be real, they mostly recognize Rose although someone says “isn’t that the gay baseball player from that Calvin Klein ad?” when they see Shane—and several people start filming. Which is of course when Rose’s heel breaks and she lands ass over teakettle on the sidewalk.
Shane and Ilya are immediately concerned and Rose tries to wave them off, “my heel just broke, guys,” and Shane says, “you broke your foot?” and Rose laughs and says “no, my heel” and waves her broken shoe around, the red sole glinting in the light. “Why are you wearing fucking low quality shoes?” Shane asks, honestly confused, and Rose gasps, “Shane, they’re Louboutins!” And Shane very seriously says, “well, then Louboutins are fucking bad quality,” which has Ilya cackling because he definitely knows Louboutins, probably even owns a pair, and knows that they’re not low quality at all. But now there’s a video out there of Shane Hollander calling Louboutins low quality and that’s going to be a fun time on the internet. Then Shane helps Rose up and she wrinkles her nose and says, “ugh I hate walking barefoot in downtown LA,” and Ilya says, “don’t be ridiculous, we carry you,” and Rose is all, “oh piggy back ride,” and Shane says, scandalized, “you’re wearing like a miniskirt, everyone will see your ass if you do that,” and scoops her up bridal style. And then he carries her down two blocks to the sushi restaurant they chose for a late night snack and the video of that goes even more viral than Shane’s Louboutin critique.