will she make it?

follow me as I struggle to keep my 2023 goals

[goalblr]

2023 the year of giving a fuck.

We’re done sleeping on our dreams.

We’re done pretending we don’t need to work hard to make shit happen.

We’re done hitting snooze on things we need to get done.

Yes there are a million reasons not to do it. But deep down you know the reason to get going. Yes there are things you could be doing right now that are more fun or more relaxing. But the person you want to be is not about that.

Your mind will fill with ways to get it done.

Your mind will be there hyping you up. Loving yourself for each moment you’re in movement.

Feeling better after each success. Tiny or big. Sucking at it and feeling like shit are not excuses for giving up. That is lame as fuck. You will suck and you will want to give up. Big news. Your goals don’t give a fuck about that. They are on the other side of excuses. Fast forward on all the bad feelings and reasons why it’s not worth it. Go do it.

[goalblr]

things I will do in 2023

🍄 save a portion of my income monthly, spend the rest on what matters to me

🍄 exercise regularly, and enjoy it

🍄 eat tasty vegetables, meat and other natural foods

🍄 study a lot, with passion

🍄 read books that consume me

🍄 have a happy relationship with my bf, friends and family. Express my love through acts of service and being nice and joyful around them

🍄 not fall off the horse after a bad day or three. Get back in it with confidence in myself

I choose the pain of doing these things over the pain of not doing them, because I’m familiar with the latter:

🌫️ the pain of feeling I have wasted potential

🌫️the pain of feeling unsatisfied with my life

🌫️ the pain of regret that comes from not giving my best and not feeling proud of my achievements

🌫️ the pain of not having built good relationships with those around me

🌫️ the pain of being unhappy with my body

I know this pain. I fear the other kind of pain. The pain of effort and the pain of putting myself out there and maybe still not get what I want. Because I know what it’s like to put in the effort and still not feel appreciated, not reaching the goal, and feeling stuck and like life isn’t giving me opportunities, a chance to succeed and be happy. Because life has felt unfair and I have stopped believing that my personal effort would affect my outcome. So I stopped giving a fuck. But this has led me to waste so many opportunities that life has continued to present to me. And right now there are so many opportunities for me to take. A happy family. Friendships. Amazing trips. An absolute dream of a job. A wonderful place to live. I don’t even deserve the amount of things that my amazing bf has made happen for me if I continue to waste my energy like this. Out with the negative thoughts. Life is wonderful, shiny and full of magic. Each day might not be wonderful but I can make it so. I can put in wonderful energy and it will come back in waves. Listen to the most magical music, pump my body with exercise, fuel it with nutritious, fresh food, play with my most adorablest smartest dog, rack my brain on stimulating projects at my job helping solve the technical challenges that move the world, honor my mental and physical ability, get the most important goal of the day done and reward myself, take a relaxing bath, write in my journal and reflect on my goals, get a good night of rest.