take a step back after moving forward
fic!
Nick smiled, because what else could he do? it was his stringed smile yet, all edges and no wormth. who could blaim him to be honest? it was full of graudge, anger and uncomftrbleness. it always hit diffrent. it depended if he was in a good state of mind to react to this, yet it always pained him to see it. they all hated it. it was a horrible sight, but he had to smile. just toā¦ he didnāt know.try and aluude to an atmosphire of normality? he wasnāt sure.
he watched, all smile and no personality, as Portia took the letter.
it was her tenth letter this week, and it was always sent on an old parchment paper. Nick hated it. he hated it so much.
āwell!ā¦ it seemed this one is not as long!ā she said while holding the letter. her hands already shaking. this sucked
before Nick could say anything Will already took a step up, and snatched the letter from Portiaās weak hands. not giving her a chance to even blink her tears away from sight.
if they could just stop her form getting the mail every morning that will be nice, or better, Will would have actually bothered to wake up to grab it like he promised.Ā
but this wasnāt the time for dealing with Willās forgetfulness, it wasnāt even 7 am when Nick ran outside, chasing after Portiaās edger steps to get the mail as she walked to the store. excited that the pride center will be open early to get some stuff before pride comes next week, when she stopped by to get the mail from their tiny mail box.
Will didnāt think, he just tore the letter into pecises, they will not be dealing with abusive toxic dads today! and hopefully, not ever again if he has something to say about it! he threw the pecies on the ground stomping on it with his comically large boots that he liked to wear everywhere now. now that heās moreĀ āpunkā as he said.Ā
Nick siged at the semi comical sight, as Will, after jumping on the letter for good mesure, slipped and almost crushed to the floor, realising some tiny laugh from the still shoked Portia, while he walked fowood. making sure ti step in Portiaās clear eye sight before giving her a side hug, which she didnāt resipicate, but did lean into. good. some real wormth finally started to leap into him. defeting the last few chills of the still cold morning..
finishing his tirade, Will walked forword as a winner, looking high and mighty with his night goun and the heavy army boots the docks made their signiture sound as he walked towords them, slowing his trimfent walk to look at Portiaās face. which to be fairā¦ Nick have sort of neglected to look, too scared of the emotions that that will bring.
which is where Will comes in. Willās profession is handeling emotions right on! attackeing them with his cutting words and defensive wit, ready to splinter and et to the bottom of things that shouldnāt be things like political feelings (his own emotions? not as much, but he will run away from them at the same determanation).Ā
without sparing too many looks to his rather anxoies boyfriend, Will looks at Portiaāa line of sight as well,and turns his head to the side a little. approching carfully (which was a sudden change from the cutting triamfe walking)and opening his arms
without missing a bit, Portia suddenly left Nickās side, all but running to Willās inviting arms, burring her face in his chest.
at that, Nick took his time to leave, he knew that Will and Portia will need some hot coco after this debacle
āāāāāāāāāāāāāāāāāāāāāāāāāāāāāāāāāāāā
āwhy does it not get easier?ā
Will was ready! wellā¦ sort of ready anyway, for nything. emotions were tricky, but he was ready for them! ready to emarse himself in everything they will bring!
thatās what he learnd, that was the way to live and remember and to hold and ignore lifeās problems, it was to focus on the emotions of peope other then himself. people that areā¦ very importent to him.
but sometimes those peopleā¦ had a very similer time to him
āeasier? im not sure Poaā¦ we both know that life never gets easierā
ābut isnāt it supposed to?ā she looked up, and oh, suddenly he was transphormed to that time when she hugged him for the first time, all excited and happy after she first moved in, like all of lifeās problems suddenly will go away now! the big bad guy is defited! oh wowā¦ they were navie back then, but even then he knew, that things donāt just suddenly get easierā¦ emotionsā¦ are hard,and mega scary to explore and to reachek, and she knew that! yet she still loved to belive that she can solve them as easaly as follwong her own heart is.
oh how she inspired him then, she still insipred everyone homestly, the girl was the sole reason that he managed to write him own first poam book! he loved to tacke emotions head on to escape them, but she, in her naive and ruthless optamizim, made him at least to try and see, if its possible even, to try and give the same passion to what lies in his own hear as well.
but with her naive optamisem she ofen forgets. that the first step, ever so easy to her fast legs, is the eaiest one indeed
āi get tierd, i get tierd of the suprises! why the aftermath of choosing to not seeing my father again will just be done already!Ā āsnifā its been a whole year nowā¦ why am i notā¦ happy?āĀ
ābut you are!ā
ā-why does it look like that with every step forword i take, everything takes two stepps back??ā
ābecause you are fast! you, Portia-ā he pused to lightly boop her nose which made her smile gratfully, ā-are one of the fastest people i know! taking your stepps with such a vorasity that a whole army could not stop you. always changing, always chasing what is in your heart first, and forgeting that sometimes we gotta deal with things, even after we decided to leave them behiandā
ālike your emotions?ā she said, suddenly getting a little of her snarkyness back, looking at will without the foginess of tears in her eyes
ālike your choices as well tooā he shakes his head to the sides he is trying to teach her a life lesson! but as usual, Portia has managed to hit the point to fast, that she looked ahead and applied it to her teacher, the boldness of this girl will kill him one day.
he ignored her little scounching of the nose, not willing but managing to see his point yet again, as he stepped away from her, makig sure to hold her hand all the way, and started moving them back towords the house.
āleast i have people to remind meto take a break sometimes ha? all thisā¦ things catching up to me, im glad i have someone that helps me to get ahead once againā
ok is she trying to kill her with her adorablness again??? because she will one day, shit.Ā āyou want to go inside or not? im sure Nick already made your cocoā
āCoco??? fuck yes!ā she smiled as she give him once last big hug and run into the house, already giggling her heart out after leaving Will speachless back at the yard. Portia, as usal, cought him off gaurd.Ā
