keep the dick coming

hockey fandom blog (ps writing tag and a03)

[lovethygoalies]

.@Letang_58’s pre-game ritual isn’t complete without a super-sized hug from his son Alex. How do you get game ready? #GetGameReadyContest [x]

[rizzoanthony-deactivated2016012]

[laurastaceys-deactivated2017070]

[stlouisramz]

all offence but why do the blackhawks get like 7 outdoor games every year literally nobody is asking for that

[connecticut-whale]

CTWhale_NWHL: So, what were we up to last night? Doing the #mannequinchallenge!

[turbolainen]

which players have supported trump publicly???

and i dont count this as “public support” per se but: matthew tkachuk, jack eichel, tyler seguin, noah hanifin, brayden point, matt filipe, brandon fortunato, alex tuch, taylor raddysh, and tom sestito have all liked pro-trump tweets. tj oshie has been known in the past to support him, and his wife has liked several pro-trump tweets as well. 

[hallsy]

sidcrosby:

i can add: james van riemsdyk, mark arcobello, james neal, ryan and dylan strome, alex goligoski, brent burns, laurent brossoit, alex debrincat, patrick eaves, robert bortuzzo, derek ryan, aaron ekblad, stephen johns, seth jones, cam talbot, thomas greiss, tony deangelo and the wifes of evgeni malkin and nick bonino and cam talbot

also, half the penguins organization (not the players) and even their assistant coach and their offical pr account. one of their journalists (MC) tweeted about hillary and got in trouble for it. former pens player and sid bff colby armstrong. and the blues gm (as, im sure, a lot of other gms. but hes the only one i found shit on)

update on the asshole list:

thatcher demko, justin abdelkader, logan brown, travis konecny

[ferritin4]

The Choir Invisible

Marc-Andre Fleury/Kris Letang

6.2k, Teen

“I think I’m a ghost savant,” Marc-André said under his breath, the day after they met. “I’m the Cesar Millan of ghosts. I’m a ghost whisperer.” “Wasn’t that a shitty television show?” Kris said. “And no you’re fucking not; anyone can talk to me. I’m dead, not deaf.”

for the flash fic exchange! it’s a ghost story, a horror story, and a romance, and mostly the last one.

I had so much fun writing this. It was great, and I loved it.

[thornescratch]

NHL players collect hockey sticks like fans collect trading cards

Alzner and Alex Ovechkin are the Capitals’ most avid collectors. For Ovechkin, swaps are simple because his own stick is sought after due to his elite status and the blade’s unique curve. Ovechkin estimated he has 60 sticks — legends such as Wayne Gretzky, Mario Lemieux and Brett Hull represented — displayed along the walls of his home gym….

Alzner laughed that his stick has only been requested back twice, with one occasion being this season. He asked Detroit Red Wings rookie Dylan Larkin for a stick as they lined up for a faceoff, and a flattered Larkin wanted to trade, so Alzner inscribed a message to the speedy 19-year-old to “slow down.”

That is so damn cute. KING KARL IS GREAT, MORE PEOPLE SHOULD WANT HIS STICKS, I WANT KARL TO GET ALL THE STICKS.

That the practice is considered to be what Ottawa’s Zack Smith called an “elite players’ ritual” makes some players hesitant to participate. Smith said he wouldn’t feel comfortable asking for someone’s stick because of the occasionally abrasive role he plays on the ice. Washington’s Tom Wilson agreed. “It’s kind of tough when you go out and hammer a guy and then ask for a stick after,” Wilson said with a shrug.

…Now I feel bad for Tom. Tom deserves sticks as well.

The more unique a stick is, the more desirable. Alzner pines for the stick of San Jose Sharks center Joe Thornton, in part because he uses so few a year. It’s in two pieces, so Thornton typically just changes out the blade. Alzner has tried and failed to get one for three or four years, but is hopeful former Capitals winger Joel Ward, now with the Sharks, can help facilitate an acquisition.

The whole article is great, and covers a bunch of different teams and players. Also. Stick swapping as, like, a feature of trying to find your soulmate/soulbond, please discuss.

(Full article)

[thornescratch]

So, UPDATE, Ovi managed to get a McDavid stick, but Alzner, despite working his Hendricks and Burakovsky connections, has not.

Now I kind of want to see just Ovi got McDavid’s stick, or Alzner sending in Burky to try and get the stick by any means necessary.

The background of both scenarios probably involves either an elaborate heist or a horribly awkward seduction. Maybe both.

[pokecheck]

@Jeff_Neiburg: The Anaheim locker room is pretty upset there are no cheesesteaks waiting for them. “We come to Philly one time,” Corey Perry yelled. (x)

[ablogwithoutpants]

Stop. Listen to me. This is a professional hockey player named Zenon having his pet bunny named Hoppy help him get gas. I don’t care if you don’t care about hockey. Care about this. Care about this man and his best friend/pet bunny hoppy, whose adventures are detailed in great depth here. 

[ablogwithoutpants]

I will make ZENON KONOPKA AND HOPPY POPULAR OR I WILL DIE TRYING. YOU WILL ALL LOVE HIM. WAIT. WAIT FOLLOWERS.

here is a picture of hoppy dressed up in his dad’s colors.

[montanajade98]

But what about vampire history teachers. Vampires who read something from a text book then proceed to light the book on fire and throw it out the window because “No. that’s not even close to what really happened. Listen up nerds I’m about to teach you what really happened in France during the revolution”

[sapphosigns]

I need this as a series

[gefdreamsofthesea]

Vampires sharing the recipe for Greek fire.

Vampires speaking in dead languages.

Vampires being able to translate untranslatable scripts.

Vampires who react to straightwashing historical figures like “Are you kidding me everyone knew that man was queer!”

Vampires from cultures who were once antagonistic towards each other stubbornly maintaining a friendship that’s lasted longer than their civilizations.

Vampires who honour forgotten deities you won’t find in mythology books.

[radio-freedunmovin-deactivated2]

Also, vampires who secretly saved stuff from the Library of Alexandra.

[freyadragonlord]

A vampire show that does not revolve all around sex and eternal cursed love.

[northcentralpositronics-blog]

nerd vampire whose knowledge of current events is terrible but they can always remember everything that’s considered “history” so they have a super-detailed knowledge of everything up to about thirty years ago and then ?????

vampire who couldn’t tell you what caravaggio was known for but duelled with him at least three times and slept with him at least ten. “cara-who OH YOU MEAN MICHAEL yeah he was cool”

vampire who spent 100 years in a convent and is still so bitter that in all that time they never made her mother superior “GODDAMMIT I HAD SENIORITY! I HAD SENIORITY!” “okay so first off janet, that was six hundred years ago, but more importantly, maybe if you didn’t always start those complaints off with blasphemy…”

vampire professor who just sort of showed up at oxford when it was founded and is still there (and nobody’s noticed because he still never actually shows up to his lectures)

vampire politician who lifts all their campaign speeches wholesale from speeches given 200 years ago and just waits for someone to catch them out (nobody ever does they’re prime minister and their approval ratings are through the roof)

[northcentralpositronics-blog]

WAIT I HAVE MORE

queer vampire who constantly talks about the fashion for straightness and you need to be really careful because if you tell them straight is default they WILL scream at you for five days straight about what a modern concept heterosexuality is

vampire hoarder who has an entire town where they just kept having to buy new houses to keep their stuff in and some of it’s probably worth tens of millions by now but you’ll never find it in among the 1950s kitschy kitten sculptures and boxes of newspaper (the newspaper is a wonderful mix of yesterday’s guardian and daily courants from 1725)

vampire sailor from manderville’s time who just has so many stories and some of them might even be true

vampire bluestocking girl who took to the internet like a fish to water and spends her whole unlife engaging reddit antifeminists about women’s rights because that’s one fight she’s determined to see through. also with the advent of cheap dyes she literally wears blue socks every day and hopes one day someone gets the joke

vampire doctor who just gets SO CONFUSED about the literature because do you know how hard it is to keep up with medicine kevin? when i got my doctorate we thought leeches were good and then they were bad and now they’re good again? i was published in issue one of the lancet kevin that is 387 lancets kevin how the hell am i meant to remember which one’s current kevin why are they saying cannabis is good for pain like this is news??? (but also lives in a state of wonderment every day in hospital because wow look at all this stuff we can do now look at it kevin!)

entire coven of vampires constantly quibbling over manners because they’re all from different periods: “HATS OFF AT TABLE” “SCREW YOU LEONARD ONLY PEASANTS EAT BAREHEADED” “TABITHA THAT HASN’T BEEN GOOD MANNERS SINCE THE 1500S NOBODY HAS LICE ANY MORE” “IT ISN’T ABOUT LICE LEONARD IT’S ABOUT GOOD MANNERS YOU NEED TO HAVE GOOD MANNERS WHEN YOU HAVE PEOPLE OVER FOR DINNER” “I SWEAR TO GOD TABITHA IF YOU MAKE THAT PUN ONE MORE TIME I WILL SHOVE YOUR STUPID HAT DOWN YOUR THROAT”

[bumbleandbumble]

vampire musicians who might not have been child prodigies but goddammit 500 years of practicing an instrument is bound to get you somewhere (also knowing the composer and being the first person to start playing a song doesn’t hurt either)

[moonsofavalon]

my favorite will always be vampires who know fuck-all about the standard major historical events because they were always somewhere else whenever big shit was going down:

“yeah i heard about the hundred years war but i was in northern african at the time so…”

“the roman empire fell??? how did the fucking roman empire fall??? i spend a fucking handful of decades in india and i come back to this???”

“russia needs to stop having revolutions, i can’t keep them all straight…”

“when did france become a democracy?? and america’s now it’s own country??? i’ve spent the last century in a forest in wallachia scaring small children so––wHat dO yOU meAn we’re calling it romania now??? when the fuck did it become romania???”

“WE HAD A WORLD WAR??? WE HAD TWO WORLD WARS???? well obviously ‘world’ is an exaggeration because i heard nothing about it while i was lost in the amazon rainforest for the last fifty years…”

“listen i spent most of the fourteenth century as a pirate in the south china sea so someone’s gonna had to clue me in on all this ‘black plague’ nonsense.”

[yolowoho]

A Brief NWHL and CWHL Primer

I made this post a while back, and when looking through the tags I noticed a common theme:

So here is a little primer on the NWHL and CWHL. It will cover the teams and their social media and where you can watch games. If anyone has any questions my inbox is always open.

NWHL

facebook, twitter, instagram, youtube channel, snapchat: thenwhl

The NWHL is the newer of the two leagues and is based in the U.S. It has four teams:

The Boston Pride - facebook, instagram, twitter, youtube channel

The Buffalo Beauts - facebook, instagram, twitter, youtube channel

The Connecticut Whale - facebook, instagram, twitter, youtube channel

The New York Riveters - facebook, instagram, twitter, youtube channel

Last year the NWHL streamed all their games for free on their youtube channel. All the games are available to watch for free there. They haven’t announced any changes to that yet. If anything does change, this primer will be updated to reflect that.

CWHL

facebook, twitter, instagram, tumblr, pinterest, youtube channnel, snapchat: thecwhl

The CWHL is based in Canada with one team in the U.S. It has five teams:   

Les Canadiennes - facebook, instagram, twitter, youtube channel

The Calgary Inferno - facebook, instagram, twitter, youtube channel

The Brampton Thunder - facebook, instagram, twitter

The Boston Blades - facebook, instagram, twitter, snapchat: bostoncwhl, youtube channel

The Toronto Furies - facebook, instagram, twitter, snapchat: torontocwhl

The CWHL streams games for $20 Canadian on their website. But, all archived games can be watched for free. The playoffs are an additional $10.    

Hope this helped! 

[filipf0rsberg]

I can’t wait for October: cozy sweaters, cool weather, jack'o'lanterns, pumpkin spice lattes, halloween, autumn leaves, the violent sport of hockey….

[filipf0rsberg]

EVERYONE KEEPS REBLOGGING THIS SAYING “MINUS THE HOCKEY”

THIS IS A HOCKEY POST

THE ONLY IMPORTANT THING IS THE HOCKEY

I COULD GIVE LESS OF A FUCK ABOUT PUMPKIN SPICE LATTES

[jimmyhowards]

i can’t believe phil kessel won the world cup of hockey

[book23worm]

So, so smiley.

[beautiebennett]

#bromance

[mattsmartin]

HBK at the Championship Parade [x]