Goddamn Webcomics!

In this blog, we look at obscure and weird webcomics all around the internet. THIS IS NOT AN ANTI-WEBCOMIC BLOG. Our intention is to give a page-by-page analysis of works that are both popular and lesser known, of course sometimes we give a beating to an awful webcomic that deserves it, but we're mostly trying to be a blog that gives out fair critique. This blog uses strong language and hyperbole a lot. This blog respects webcomics as a medium, so if your webcomic is in the rifflist, consider it an honour. Go to the Riff Portal to look at our past riffs.

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Anniversary Poll Results

Once again, Chalo Cinematic Universe takes the top of the poll, followed by Ask the Werewolves Supplementary material and finally ending on the fucking Monster Girl Academy spinoff.

Well seems like Ned x Venom made you guys vote for all the spinoffs or spinoff-adjacent material so July Anniversary will officially be the Spinoff Shitoffuary!

Ned x Venom will be riffed first, followed by Knighthood, followed by a selection of most interesting Ask the Werewolves tumblr pages and the mini-comics, and lastly the month ends with a look into the mad mad mad mad mad Monster Girl World, starring Zack's cousin, but I'm gonna call him Zack Jr, because it's funny. See you in one and a half months!

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been skimming your Carry On posts and it's fascinating seeing a furry comic that features Hyenas and gets Weird about Race Implications, but not in the Usual Way this happens (usually it's Hyenas being used as a black people stand-in in a way that usually betrays the author having questionable views on black people)

Yeah in this comic hyenas are white-coded as fuck, they dress up either like roman gladiators or south american soldiers during Apartheid. She spares all the stereotypes for other species living in Rackeroon.

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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

STORMOFSOULSANDALSOHYENABRIGADEDIDEUGENICSEXPERIMENTSWHICHCREATEDMURPHYWHOTHEHYENABRIGADEUSESTOCRUSHALLOPPOSITIONANDDISSIDENTSANDALSOLIMPDICKSPARENTSAREAMERICANBUSINESSOWNERS

Yes, portray the hyena version of those pigfucks behind Kent State Massacre as a sympathetic little fucking dripoling. Yes, eugenics experiments failing created her but she is practically an animal who feels no regret for her actions. I say she is complicit.

And of course, she reminds me of Zeta, so she probably has raped millions of prisoners. Stonewater could never.

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HYENA BRIGADE DOES EUGENICS EXPERIMENTS????

AND WE'RE SUPPOSED TO ROOT FOR THEM??? AND WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE "AWESOME, I'M GLAD LIMPDICK AND KATHY ARE PART OF THIS FACTION".

Jesus fucking christ, how the fuck this piece of shit organization manages to become even more deplorable than I headcanoned them as being???

You can't just say "Brigade does eugenics experiments and it spawned this abomination hahaha". Fucking Faucher and King David Johan would be disgusted at Brigade's actions.

By "crowd control" it means she's gonna hunt and murder protesters en masse hahahaha. I didn't know Erdogan sponsored Hyena Brigade. This is so fucking VILE, and Kathy thinks this is FUNNY. WHAT IS EVEN ANY OF THIS???

AND WE END ON A FUCKING TRANSPHOBIC JOKE.

@tjimmy1999 FOR THE LOVE OF FUCK, CAN YOU EXPLAIN WHAT WAS KATHY INTENDING WITH ANY OF THIS ABSOLUTE DOGSHIT????

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...

This is the most bizarre creative decision I've seen in a while.

What is this? NO SERIOUSLY, WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS???? Why is there a giant mutated hyena who talks like Hulk? Afhfhhgl?

Wait, she(?) looks vaguely familiar, remember the Hyena Avengers shown in that one page?

For some reason Kathy felt like turning them into an actual character. This shows that Kathy has never watched any superhero thing in his life. Hulk/Bruce Banner is actually really intelligent once he learns to control his transformation. The whole "HULK SMASH" type characterization comes from old comics and the Lou Ferrigno serial. There used to be a time She-Hulk was also intelligent but they recently reduced her into a gruff monster woman too because...intelligent women are sexist???

But none of that matters, we needed to introduce Hyena Hulk. They call her Murphy because...I dunno. That sounds like a character Tor Johnson would play in a shitty 50's movie.

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Well, I was expecting like an entire arc where we're forced to artifically care for the baby gazelle and her relationship with Kathy. It's deceptive propaganda. Using children to make us accept our heroes downright colonialistic ambitions. I will NEVER forget that Limpdick's parents are american business owners. I don't care what they do, they've probably influenced the government and foreign policy for years. They're officially Hyena Peter Thiels.

Anyways, the gazelle and goes off, less this comic exploits children, the better.

And then WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK???

Why...is there a giant monster hyena in this comic??? What the fuck? Why does the monster hyena look like Limpdick??? That's literally a spitting image of him! No, let's ask the more important question. WHY IS THERE A MONSTER HYENA IN THIS COMIC???

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WHY IS LIMPDICK SMILING????

This is fucking horrid. The Baby Gazelle was rightfully told by their mother that hyenas have no honour. They're not proving the hyena mother wrong, they're proving her right. Being kind and doing good deeds does not automatically mean you have any sort of honour.

Baby Gazelle should have dumped them. Remember, don't take candy from strangers.

Fuck off with this. I feel so bad for that gazelle.

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Sandy for the last couple of strips really has been "so when's lunch" over and over again. She's either wanting to eat or just wanting to complain about the situation she's in. Her personal struggles with her otter family and her lineage, both ongoing even in the present, play so little into her as a character that it's becoming more of a side thing the author can't be bothered to care for a majority of the time she has any screentime. The definition of wasted potential.

So you're saying Kathy is throwing characterzation out of the window which she has done several times with Kathy and Limpdick??? Nooo I couldn't see that ever happening!

So great, Sandy is gonna completely forget the family she abandoned by choosing to go to Rackeroon. How long until Sandy just completely disappears and never comes back?

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This is absolutely disgusting.

This is the exact same mindset Connor had when he had that stupid brat be kidnapped by Jean Devreaux and Jack shot Jean in the head and the child was like "Jack did the right thing!". Now we're weaponizing children to make these fucking insane, bloodthirsty, gruelling despots seem like totally cool and kind people! Fuck off. This is just like Elon Musk constantly bringing out his ugly fucking son with him so he doesn't get rightfully shot by Celestos of the world.

The Baby Gazelle deserves partial responsibility for sanewashing Kathy.

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DON'T TRUST HER. RUN LITTLE GAZELLE, RUN RUN RUN RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNN

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Before Rackeroon and the continent of Africa can become the next Puerto Rico though, we have to watch Kathy trip. STORM OF SOULS.

Oh boy, a baby animal. We know Kathy's past with babies.

This is going to be ugly. I'm not sure which is a worse fate, Kathy eating the baby or Limpdick deciding to mail it to his father's good friend Jeffrey.

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Yeah Limpdick is SOOO CIVILIZED. I would list off sarcastically all the "civilized" things he has done, but I'm afraid I would turn into a broken record, and honestly, I don't think even Kathy remembers them anymore.

Limpdick is like "I see no need to strip naked and go kill someone". Yeah, you know what they say. Systematic killing is way better than personal killing.

I still can't fucking believe this idiot calls himself "CIVILIZED". This is the new brand of goodpersonning, I believe the term that's been floating around is "sanewashing". Yeah, this comic and Limpdick keeps sanewashing himself.

YOUR PARENTS AMERICAN OPERATIONS??? WHAAAAAT????

So uh yeah, turns out Limpdick's parents have major stakeholds in America and we know what America looks like today and I imagine it's not any better in 2050's. Hell I would not be surprised that Limpdick's Yankee Doodle Ville parents sent Limpdick to take over Rackeroon so it could finally be "tamed".

It all makes sense now, lies about Rackeroon starting World War 3, his obsession with Kathy, his hatred for hyenas and this country, this is like CIA trying to overthrow a south american democracy, just in Limpdick form!

This changes literally everything, Limpdick isn't a despot, he's a puppet of despots. Once he gets Kathy in power, Kathy just becomes a Faucher to Limpdick's American Parents. This is insanely dark. How the fuck is any of this good? Katherine Kelsie Kimar Kelloggs, what the fuck is wrong with you??? Do you NOT see the implications??? Let's just get the obvious allegory out of the way too.

This is even worse than Connor Particles, Thief of Virtue was Tomato in the Mirror. This is embracing the mirror. Rackeroon is gonna be turned into an american territory by the end of the story and this is all framed as a GOOD THING. Oh my god, jesus fuck.

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MICROCHIPS??? FUCKING MICROCHIPS????

And rather than trying to kill the vultures, they just leave them eat the corpse. Didn't they want to eat the vultures??? That's what they were implying no? Like, they said "dinner is served" when they saw the vultures. It's like looking at a roast turkey someone made and then you say "dinner is served" so you go eat McDonalds. You guys eat rabbits, wildebeests, zebras, other hyenas and wild dogs, what's so bad about eating vultures????

This comic I swear to god, they might as wsll introduce a brand new crew member called Danny Janny, and say he has been here since the beginning. That's how inconsistent this comic is!

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"How strange, she didn't question the regulations" And your point is?

I mean, I can't be the only one looking at this like this, man dressed up like a woman, goes to tell off a woman just trying to feed herself to fuck off and their reaction is "oh no you hyenas and your regulations", lion says she has kids to feed and Limpdick instantly assumes she is lying, and when Limpdick mentions person in authority, she disperses.

@tjimmy1999

Look at these last few pages and tell me if this is a specific Page 132-style reference to something that happened in real life. I just get the feeling that something is off.

Oh wow, we get a reference to 21st Century Fox, because we have to remind people this comic is somehow STILL a spinoff of that comic.

"I don't want my lips to touch anything filthy ni-I mean lion's lips has touched". Oh cool, that's the Limpdick I know and love. I would say Limpdick should be sentenced to eternal torture by having a hot bar that is hotter than the sun gaped all the way from his mouth to his anus while razor sharp spikes protrude from the bar as they splice his entrails, but that would be G-rated compared to what he actually deserves.

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It is oddly suspicious that the lion acts like a strawman of people who hate "regulations" and who complains when bunch of fascist law officials "harass them", and lion is obviously shown to be a bad guy for wanting to feed herself. Just say you want shoplifters to be shot on sight Kathy, this is once again Connor Particles in action.

"BUT GEE-DUBYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA THIEF OF VIRTUE AND CARRY ON CAN'T BE RELATED, THEY'RE DONE BY TWO DIFFERENT PEOPLE" yet they preach the exact same things. And like I've said in the past, once you read Thief of Virtue, every other webcomic starts turning into Thief of Virtue, it's like the sunglasses in They Live, and this scene feels exactly like something you would find in Thief of Virtue, the only thing missing is the authors notes, which I am sure if Kathy had them, she would be the only person more bigoted and dogwhistle-y than Connor.

Wow, they could've said this in the first place, seriously you could have cut last four pages completely and this would have the exact same result, you didn't even need to turn Limpdick into a woman. This is just like the proposal scene from last month. We go the longest possible route into the result we could have achieved in just one page.

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Oh good, the entire excuse of this scene is "let's make Limpdick act like she's a woman hihihihihi". How fetishistic and lowkey transphobic tbh.

And then we learn the other comedy of this scene comes from animals doing extensive paperwork. That shit is not funny. Bureaucracy isn't funny. If you're gonna do that joke without actually satirizing bureaucracy, you're just not...doing...the...funny...thing...that...makes....look I am not an eloquent wordsmith all the time.

How is this entire scene more embarrassing than Seraphine from TwoKinds? Limpdick is like "ALL LIONS ARE THIEVES AND LIARS". Yeeeeah that's more like the Limpdick I know, or Dimplick, I already forgot which one was which.

And then Limpdick goes "MY BREASTS ARE BIGGER THAN HERS". Oh good, Kathy stopped watching American Pie on repeat and now is watching "White Chicks" on repeat. That one isn't even a romance movie you fucking moron!

Well I just know it this comic will get even worse once she picks up "Norbit". How did we survive the early 2000's American Comedy era of movies.

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Did Tomjay take over the writing booth? Why are we giving Limpdick boobs??? Yes I know this is used to trick the lion but fetish razor.

Also whoa, I didn't know Kathy was into ganja.

Nnnh I shit myself