SEARCH AND DESTROY

[godmarkd]

ㅤ Etsi ja tuhoa!

ㅤㅤㅤ ㅤIndependent ✴ Selective ✴ Headcanon-Based ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤ Emre Sarioglu  from Overwatch ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ Loved by Spacy

A study in: military obedience, going too far, hubris as a downfall, the ship of theseus, clutching to humanity, rediscovering family, following orders, a squeeze of a rifle trigger, and an epic identity crisis.

Sideblog, follows back from @chronal-anomaly.

Carrd

[daethviper]

@godmarkd asked: "Well, despite your voluntold position here, you seem to be settling in just fine."

" There's no point in freaking out about it everyday, i'd get nothing done and more than likely, i'll get in trouble for it. " she places a test tube back in it's place among the others before wandering over to one of the three enclosures in her lab. she slid open the glass door and reached in slowly, petting the king cobra that rested curled up inside.

" I've told myself that; as long as i do my job, everything will be alright. but what about you? are you doing okay? "

[godmarkd]

Emre settled easily, if a bit heavily, atop a somewhat cleared table as far away from the rows of enclosures that lined the room. It wasn't that Emre was afraid of her snakes, but would prefer to keep his distance from the not-so-cuddly creatures.

"I have to say, you've done well setting up this whole lab already. Would hate to see the order log for the displays." He gestured toward the enclosures, lenses flicking to them easily. There was something eerie in knowing that if he were to flip to the heat-seeking view, the snakes would barely blip.

"Oh, as well as anyone. Any port in a storm, right? Besides, s'not like I can go anywhere else, so this works."

[godmarkd]

@mercymedic

angela looks incredulous; it's hard to tell how much of it is genuine and how much of it is her playing into the bit. emre can't even stand, much less leave - besides, he most definitely does not have a box of swiss chocolates conveniently in his inventory. "mr. sarıoğlu," she puts a hand to her chest, fingers delicately ghosting along the labels of her lab coat, "you wouldn't be suggesting i commit... medical negligence, would you?" it takes everything in her not to crack a smile, though she's sure that the pain meds are keeping emre's mind more than occupied. still, she busies herself with adjusting the iv at the side of his bed, and she considers that maybe he needs a higher dose. "ja, i couldn't do that to my favorite patient."

Favorite patient? You flatter me." Emre allowed his neck to loosen, to roll back toward Angela. Despite the haze that clouded his eyes, some light faded under the drugs, there was a spark of mischief somewhere in there.

"C'mon, doctor, there has to be some trouble in there somewhere. Are you really going to keep me here over something so simple as a bullet?" Or two, or three. Recollection was hard through the ocean of painkillers.

"They're the good chocolates. They're right here -" Emre patted his chest, as if searching through a jacket pocket. When the thin hospital gown yielded nothing, he frowned, lines cratering deep across his pale face. "They were right here. Where's my jacket?"

[godmarkd]

@mercymedic:

angela makes some sound of acknowledgement but doesn't actually give emre her full attention. her eyes are half-lid and unamused at his chart, eyeing all the nurses' notes (there are a lot of notes - ), and wondering how insufferable he must have been to earn so many. commander morrison is sure to turn this repeated offense of 'medical disobedience' into a briefing one of these days, and while angela thinks this team needs to hear it, she would much rather be doing other things than losing an hour in the conference room. like her job. "clearly not high enough on top if you're asking why," she says matter-of-factly, turning to face him, clipboard falling into the holder on the side of his bed. annoyance pinches the corner of her eyes as she smiles. "now, mr. sarıoğlu," her gesture at him to return to the bed might as well be a quiet threat, "i really insist you lay back down. having to re-do stitches can be quite painful."

A cool expression met her, despite the bruise beginning to purple beneath his eye and a crust of blood that had evaded the wipe of a matted towel on the transport home. The angry raise of fevered skin beneath contaminated stitches peeked from the tattered remains of his compression shirt, speaking ill gained wins of a combat knife fight. They would ensure he wouldn't bleed out on the way home, but not much of a guarantee beyond that.

"Oh, you know me, Doctor Ziegler. I can handle a bit of pain." His body was languid, relaxed, despite the awkward pull of trapped skin between remnants of his haphazard sewing skills.

"Maybe I know why. Maybe I just like to hear you explain it." His teeth flashed into a grin as he settled onto the bed, his long legs hanging over the ledge. "You know, Doctor, you make a scowl for too long, it'll stick like that."

[godmarkd]

Like this for smth in your inbox!

[godmarkd]

young Emre smells... so good

[feral-ballad]

Something in my senses wasn’t working. An interruption of feeling, of feelings. Sometimes I abandoned myself to it, at times I was frightened. Those words, for example: I didn’t know how to find answers to the question marks, every possible answer seemed absurd. I was lost in the where am I, in the what am I doing. I was mute beside the why. This I had become in the course of a night. Maybe, I didn’t know when, after protesting, after resisting for months, I had seen myself in those books and I was in bad shape, definitively broken. A broken clock that, because its metal heart continued to beat, was now breaking the time of everything else.

Elena Ferrante, tr. by Ann Goldstein, from The Days of Abandonment

[feral-ballad]

This was the reality that I was about to discover, behind the appearance of so many years. I was already no longer I, I was someone else, as I had feared since waking up, as I had feared since who knows when. Now any resistance was useless, I was lost just as I was laboring with all my strength not to lose myself, I was no longer there, at the entrance to my house, in front of the reinforced door, coming to grips with that disobedient key. I was only pretending to be there, as in a child’s game.

Elena Ferrante, tr. by Ann Goldstein, from The Days of Abandonment

[howifeltabouthim]

There were always concessions. Little self-betrayals of one's values and virtues and morals, the thousand ways everyone cut against their convictions in order to get things done. That was the real crux of modernity. The extractive cost required to make any kind of progress. No matter what you did or sought to do, the cost was always a little bit of yourself.

Brandon Taylor, from Minor Black Figures

[godmarkd]

@mercymedic asked:

how did we get so old?

"Old? You? You still look like you're twenty eight, doc." Emre's tone was light, easy, as he plunked down a second beer on the small table between them. "Think if they shoved you in a Mercy lookalike competition, they'd disqualify you for not looking close enough."

It was partially true - the nanobots were a beautiful thing, repairing that which should have killed all them many times over. But even their impossible power couldn't reprise the golden hair lost to the grays, couldn't iron out the wrinkles chasmed by stress and war and the loss of everything and everyone you once loved.

Emre sat down next to her, back clacking a dull sound as the spinal implants tapped against the plastic.

"You miss 'em?" Came the question, rhetorical in nature but an open door to the memories gathered for reminiscent. He glanced over at her, a gesture wide to an empty stage. Tell me your thoughts, the look in his eyes said, let me hold them to the light.

[godmarkd]

Emre takes up woodworking in a world where he gets to grow old and pick a hobby

[aedearly]

✎ㅤ. . .ㅤ𝑯𝑬𝑨𝑫𝑪𝑨𝑵𝑶𝑵 𝑸𝑼𝑬𝑺𝑻𝑰𝑶𝑵𝑺.

₊˚⊹ ㅤa collection of character analysis/headcanon questions to learn more about your character and your partners'! writing/headcanon prompts requested by anonymous. feel free to edit these as you see fit.

[ 🖐️ ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat do their hands feel like: soft, calloused, trembling ? [ ☂️ ]ㅤ.ㅤdo they crave touch or fear it ? [ 🎐 ]ㅤ.ㅤdo they have a sound, like a song or voice, that they associate with peace ? [ 🕊️ ]ㅤ.ㅤwhen did they feel the safest ? [ 💤 ]ㅤ.ㅤhow do they sleep ? curled up, sprawled, holding onto something ? [ 🦇 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat is a fear they never talk about ? [ 🔒 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat is a secret they’ve sworn never to tell ? [ 🪢 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhen was the last time they broke a promise ? [ 🫳 ]ㅤ.ㅤwho do they feel they owe, but never paid back ? [ 💼 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat do they always carry with them ? [ 🧨 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat’s the quickest way to set them off, even if they hide it well ? [ ⛓️ ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat does guilt feel like to them ? [ 💢 ]ㅤ.ㅤwho have they never forgiven and never will ? [ 🩸 ]ㅤ.ㅤis there something or someone that, if lost, would break them ? [ 🌧️ ]ㅤ.ㅤis there a pain they refuse to heal from ? [ 🪞 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhen have they looked at their reflection and hated what they saw ? [ 📿 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat superstition or ritual do they cling to ? [ 🌊 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhen was the last time they cried ? [ 🐾 ]ㅤ.ㅤdo animals like them instinctively ? [ 🪶 ]ㅤ.ㅤhow do they laugh ? [ 🫀 ]ㅤ.ㅤwho taught them what love is ? did it hurt ? [ 💭 ]ㅤ.ㅤdo they believe they’re worthy of being loved ? [ 🎀 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat is their main love language ? [ 🔦 ]ㅤ.ㅤwho do they search for ? [ 📜 ]ㅤ.ㅤis there a story they love sharing with others ? [ 🌒 ]ㅤ.ㅤdo they have a dream or goal they have given up on ? [ 🕯️ ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat memory do they replay when they’re alone ? [ 🌪️ ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat’s the one choice they regret (not) making ? [ 🧩 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat’s a truth about themselves they refuse to admit ? [ 🍻 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat kind of drunk are they ? [ ✉️ ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat kind of letter would they write but never send ? [ 🗡️ ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat is a scar that they have but never talk about ? [ 🕸️ ]ㅤ.ㅤdo they have a favourite lie they like to hear ? [ 🪦 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat would they want on their gravestone but never admit aloud ? [ 🎱 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat kind of future do they crave, and who’s in it ? [ 🌀 ]ㅤ.ㅤdo they have a recurring dream or nightmare ? [ 🍃 ]ㅤ.ㅤdo they feel like they belong ? [ ⚓ ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat does “home” mean to them ? [ 🧭 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhere would they go if they could disappear tomorrow ?

[hollowprompts]

` * 𝐧𝐨𝐧-𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐛𝐚𝐥 𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 : 𝘴𝘦𝘯𝘥 𝘢 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘮𝘱𝘵 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘭𝘪𝘴𝘵 𝘣𝘦𝘭𝘰𝘸 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘦𝘦 𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘮𝘺 𝘮𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘴. 𝘯𝘰 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘥𝘴 𝘯𝘦𝘦𝘥𝘦𝘥, 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘵𝘰𝘶𝘤𝘩. 𝘴𝘦𝘯𝘥 (+ 𝘳𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘦) 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘮𝘺 𝘮𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘥𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘩𝘰𝘴𝘦𝘯 𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘰𝘸𝘢𝘳𝘥𝘴 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘮𝘶𝘴𝘦.

𝐠𝐮𝐢𝐥𝐭 -

01. avoids eye contact or looking at the floor. 02. wringing hands together in silence. 03. fidgeting with the hem of their shirt, unable to stay still. 04. looking at receiver in long silence before looking away. 05. silently leaves a folded note on the table in front of the other. 06. touches the others arm but pulls back out of guilt.

𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫 -

01. slams fist onto a table without saying a word. 02. exhaling sharply through their nose and clenching their jaw. 03. throws an object across the room. 04. crossing their arms tightly, digging fingers into their own skin. 05. pacing the room with heavy steps. 06. glares at the other with a clenched fist.

𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 -

01. gently pushing stray hair behind the others ear. 02. resting their forehead against the others. 03. cups the others face with both hands. 04. pressing a kiss to the others forehead in silence. 05. lingering touches against the others face. 06. wraps their arms around the other from behind and rests their head on the others shoulder.

𝐬𝐚𝐝𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬 -

01. wiping their eyes before someone can notice. 02. pressing their face into a pillow to muffle sobs. 03. pulls the other into a desperate hug and wont let go. 04. silently reaching for the others hand, needing comfort. 05. walks into the room with red-rimmed eyes and no words.

𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬 -

01. spins the other around without warning in a hug. 02. links arms with the other and tugs them along happily. 03. provides the other with a handmade gift. 04. tackles the other in a sudden and joyful hug. 05. kisses the others cheek unexpectedly and grins.

𝐟𝐞𝐚𝐫 -

01. backing away slowly and looking for exits. 02. hiding behind the other and peeking around. 03. flinches at sudden movement from the other. 04. presses their back against the wall with eyes darting around the room. 05. jumps at a noise and instinctively grabs the others hand.

𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠

01. tucks a blanket gently around the other person's shoulders. 02. applies a bandage with slow and deliberate care. 03. brings them food and water and watches to ensure they eat. 04. runs fingers through their hair in efforts to soothe. 05. rubs soothing circles on the others back while they cry. 06. stays silently by the others side in support without saying a word.

𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐠

01. raises a hand but hesitates. 02. grips the others arm a bit too tightly. 03. pushes the other away with more force than necessary. 04. turns their back on the other to begin walking away without a word. 05. rips a shared photo in half without a word. 06. steps in closely with cold and narrowed eyes.

[zachrp]

ᝰ🚬 𝚉𝙰𝙲𝙷𝚁𝙿 .ᐟ RANDOM TEXT MESSAGE PROMPTS. CHANGE ANY PRONOUNS IF NECESSARY. SOME MATURE THEMES MAY BE PRESENT.

[TXT] : answer the question.

[TXT] : you left your jacket here.

[TXT] : ignore that last message.

[TXT] : must be my fault somehow.

[TXT] : this was a bad idea but i'm doing it anyway.

[TXT] : guess i misunderstood the vibe.

[TXT] : i'm only texting you because i'm drunk.

[TXT] : i can't stop thinking about your hands.

[TXT] : you're not gonna believe this..

[TXT] : i'm blushing shut up.

[TXT] : okay wait no don't answer that.

[TXT] : i didn't say anything because i didn't want to argue.

[TXT] : be honest with me.

[TXT] : are you free tonight?

[TXT] : i'll explain later, just call me now!

[TXT] : i like it when you looked at me like that.

[TXT] : i should stop texting before this escalates.

[TXT] : i keep rereading that message.

[TXT] : are you trying to distract me on purpose.

[TXT] : i hate that you were right.

[TXT] : you'd be so proud of me right now and also disappointed.

[TXT] : cheers to bad decisions.

[TXT] : i had a dream about you.

[TXT] : i thought you were coming?

[TXT] : wow that's crazy.

[TXT] : it's whatever honestly.

[TXT] : your stuff is still here.

[TXT] : open the door.

[TXT] : what are you doing right now?

[TXT] : don't screenshot this.

[TXT] : don't make me ask twice.

[TXT] : i'm grabbing coffee, want one?

[TXT] : what are we?

[TXT] : no really it's fine.

[TXT] : you don't have to lie.

[TXT] : i don't feel great.

[TXT] : don't rush i've only been waiting.

[TXT] : i forgot the grocery list.

[TXT] : don't do this over text.

[TXT] : did i do something wrong?

[TXT] : i don't trust myself around you.

[TXT] : running late sorry.

[TXT] : you make it hard to be good.

[TXT] : i told myself i wouldn't text you tonight.

[TXT] : are you mad at me.

[TXT] : please answer me.

[TXT] : i told you not to do that.

[TXT] : can i come over?

[TXT] : i'm outside.

[TXT] : you're being unfair.

[TXT] : that's not an excuse.

[TXT] : can you stay on the phone with me?

[TXT] : are you busy?

[TXT] : please tell me you're okay.

[TXT] : i think i fucked up.

[TXT] : i need to vent.

[TXT] : do you want food?

[TXT] : this is messing with my head.

[TXT] : i should not be imagining this right now.

[TXT] : are you mad at me?

[TXT] : please say something.

[TXT] : can you lie for me?

[TXT] : i found your keys!

[TXT] : i just thought you'd let me know.

[TXT] : i know you're awake.

[TXT] : stay the night.

[TXT] : you look good and you know it.

[TXT] : this reminded me of you!

[TXT] : this conversation is not helping my self control.

[TXT] : i love how you only respond when it's convenient.

[TXT] : i love you and i hate that i love you.

[TXT] : you left me on read.

[TXT] : i cleared my schedule.

[TXT] : i can't keep doing this.

[TXT] : are you alone?

[TXT] : stuck in traffic.

[TXT] : you could've just said no.

[TXT] : i don't want to be alone.

[TXT] : who are you with?

[TXT] : something has to change.

[TXT] : if you were here right now i'd be in serious trouble.

[TXT] : i'm done.

[TXT] : don't tease me.

[TXT] : i'm getting worried.

[TXT] : oh okay i guess we're not talking anymore.

[TXT] : where are you??

[TXT] : i'm thinking about you.

[TXT] : i hate nights like this without you.

[TXT] : can you come get me?

[TXT] : look up.

[TXT] : i trust you.

[TXT] : i need help.

[TXT] : this is flirting right?

[TXT] : i changed my mind about earlier.

[TXT] : it's fine do whatever you want.

[TXT] : it's not what it looked like, okay?

[TXT] : my brain won't shut up about last night.

[TXT] : please come get me before i make worse choices.

[TXT] : that was not funny.

[TXT] : i'm proud of you.

[TXT] : i don't know why i'm telling you this.

[TXT] : i'm sorry, i should've said something sooner

[TXT] : please don't be mad..

[TXT] : are you coming over or just teasing me?

[TXT] : i won't bother you again.

[TXT] : i almost sent this three times.

[TXT] : did you get home safe?

[TXT] : you don't owe me anything clearly.

[TXT] : i miss you.

[TXT] : guess who i just ran into..

[TXT] : i can't sleep.

[TXT] : i need clarity.

[TXT] : tell me to behave.

[TXT] : okay fine you win.

[TXT] : hello?

[TXT] : you did good.

[TXT] : do you miss me?

[TXT] : i'm bored, entertain me.

[TXT] : are you safe??

[TXT] : you're unbelievable.

[TXT] : i shouldn't have said what i said earlier.

[TXT] : i hope you're asleep because this is embarrassing.

[TXT] : don't ever say that again.

[TXT] : are you flirting with me?

[TXT] : you owe me gas money.

[TXT] : stop avoiding me.

[TXT] : call me when you see this!

[TXT] : you still mad?

[TXT] : can we talk in person?

[TXT] : can i crash at your place?

[TXT] : you're going to get me in trouble.

[TXT] : i'm spiraling.

[TXT] : you're doing this on purpose.

[TXT] : okay i'm done texting now.

[TXT] : you look cute.

[TXT] : glad you had fun.

[TXT] : i'm exhausted.

[TXT] : i'm trying to be respectful but you're not helping.

[TXT] : why would you think that was okay??

[TXT] : i want to move on.

[TXT] : thanks for the heads up i guess.

[TXT] : you left your panties here for a reason didn't you.

[TXT] : you know exactly what you're doing.

[TXT] : please don't tell anyone.

[TXT] : remember when we said we wouldn't do this again.

[TXT] : i can't find my shoes.

[TXT] : do you always do this or just to me?

[TXT] : tell me you don't miss me so i can shut up.

[TXT] : you crossed a line.

[TXT] : you up?

[TXT] : you didn't have to do that.

[TXT] : don't get smug.

[TXT] : i'm on my way!

[TXT] : i should not be saying this.

[TXT] : remind me to tell you later.

[TXT] : come over.

[godmarkd]

When the A.I takes over Emre, when he is "checked out" or "out of town" or any of the other dozen euphemism that those around him have delineated these hostile takeovers, he ceases to be human. All those pieces that make him a man, a person, a human, cease, simply eliminated, redlined out.

His jaw is set, but not grinding like it does when he's stressed. His eyes spark with gold and black energy, eviscerating the connection to the soul, boxed up and locked away until the A.I has borrowed its fill. He didn't shift his weight, and breathing is mechanical and steady. The A.I holds him as if a poised turrent, a weapon waiting for a direction.

[godmarkd]

I am struck with such incredible muse and love for life atm like for smth in your inbox

[godmarkd]

I am struck with such incredible muse and love for life atm like for smth in your inbox