I haven't written anything here in years. I thought of Tumblr and it felt like the right platform to type. I am exhausted now. I had a good day. I did dread the message he sent me. But I dreaded the fact that he messaged me something instead of the content of the message. I want to be free, I feel myself reconnecting to my old self but it's not that I am going back. I feel like I am touching certain aspects that were once me but in a new persona.
I know something died that day. I don't think they ever made it. Metaphorically speaking, yeah something did die that night and I could feel it as the days go by. It was the point of no return and it's like they're a different person now. I guess one can die many times. I don't mean it in a physical way, nor as a transformation. Sometimes there is an epiphany when we realize things but we don't die. We just open our eyes more. But on this night, it was beyond that. When you're at that point that you can almost feel like dying, something does shift in you. Once this happens, there's no going back. It is the point of no return just as he made it clear several times to me.
