GOLD LIGHTER

(she/they) (21) (gemini) (infp) (gryffindor)

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the goldfinch paintings part IV (final part)

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the goldfinch paintings part III

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the goldfinch paintings part II

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goldfinch paintings part I

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theo decker kind of night.

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shoutout to theo decker cause not only do i have major depression and severe anxiety but my pills made me worse and i hate doctors and the idea of having to tell them my problems makes me want to chug a gallon of vodka but i have an appointment in an hour now :)

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whoever wrote “I wear bespoke suits. I swim twice a week. I socialize with people I can't stand. I'm relaxed, personable. I don't indulge in self pity. It's true what I read, "We're so accustomed to disguise ourselves to others, that in the end we become disguised to ourselves."” in the goldfinch movie has literally never read the book or proof read the script cause i’m sorry person but in what would is theo decker relaxed, sociable and not INDULGE IN SELF PITY?

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i am home alone,

i watch tiktok,

tiktok song reminds me of boreo,

puts on boreo playlist,

should i do drugs? no,

i do drugs,

i put on the goldfinch (movie),

i’ve been home alone for two hours.

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should i actually read dracula or should i test my will power and see how long it takes me to read all 454 completed+english fan fictions under the theo x boris tag on ao3?

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whoever sofia carianna is… thank you for making this playlist. it’s been a great comfort to me and i will always cherish it. i don’t remember how i found it but i’m pretty sure it was on tumblr haha.

ps. the playlist is music that theo and boris would probably have listened to in their vegas days.

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my copy is just getting more and more damaged in the most beautiful ways… my lipstick stains, my spelling mistakes on my annotations of nothing important, the slightly ripped cover from ripping it out of my bag… i strongly believe in loving a book till it crumbles.

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how the transformation is looking so far…

someone please help with titles for the blog. the current one is the same name as the aubrey’s song on their karaoke alone album.

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it’s finally time… i am officially changing my outcast-adventures blog that i started as a way to cope with being a teen runaway with no friends and sharing the things i do by myself to what this blog has essentially been since the beginning… my soul being completely consumed by the goldfinch.

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a goldfinch mood board created by the oldest themed pictures on my camera roll:

didn’t put gifs or others artwork, that i know of

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it’s sad to say but whenever i need motivation to do something in my life i think “theo decker did it”, in summary i relate too hard and can’t let him one up me.

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after the scene cut, in the goldfinch movie, after boris calls out “potter” outside of the shop, theo actually ran into boris’ arms and they kissed for a minute before theo realized they were in public and had too much internalized homophobia and that is why boris suggested they go have a drink inside the bar where the scene picks back up.

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wallows is my favourite band and they just released “at the end of the day” and it sounds like it’s part of the goldfinch soundtrack and the video has vegas vibes.