It’s been 5 months since we met*, and it’s been one helluva ride. I asked you out twice, and got rejected twice. Yet I still kept coming back. So much so that here we are, still hanging out almost every single day, for 5 months.
During these 5 months, I’ve learned a lot. About you, about me.
First of all, we have very similar tastes, right down to ordering the same foods at restaurants 90% of the time, before we even consult each other. It’s a bit creepy at times, mostly when we first started hanging out. Now it’s to the point that I’m more shocked when we have differing opinions/tastes. But, our thoughts on mortality are similar, our dislike for certain things is similar, our humour is similar, our musical taste is similar...
You’re a fantastic cook. I’d wife you based solely on this. Seriously, I haven’t had a meal of yours that I didn’t like. Your chocolate cake? Best cake I’ve had in...maybe ever! So fucking delish. I tell you this all the time because it’s simply the truth. I can’t lie about food.
You love going out to eat. This is one of the weird things I love about hanging out with you. I love trying out restaurants with you. I also love going to get pizza at Una Pizza with you as well. It’s become one of my favourite places, and most frequented restaurants in the city. Our comfort food definitely is pizza.
You’re hella smart. That goes without say, because I tend to only hang out with brilliant people, but really, you are. You tend to boost your own ego saying you’re smart, but it’s well deserved. You’re also a hard worker, and because you’re a lawyer, you’ve gotta be super anal. I love how you toot your own horn, as if no one else will do it for you, but I know I would, and I should, because I appreciate your brilliance. You can do things I can’t, and that in itself is brill.
Along those lines, you also have this uncanny ability to remember so many details about my life, when I’ve forgotten that I’ve shared it with you. Maybe it’s part of you being intelligent, but it’s kind of amazing. I’m actually humbled by it.
You’re not close to your family, and you have no interest in other people’s family, but you want a family of your own. It’s very intriguing to me.
You’re pretty lonely, and have had to rely on yourself for so long. This kind of makes me really sad, but I know you’re super friendly and have a lot of friends, none of them are close to you emotionally or physically. But, I also think you don’t want them to be too close to you. Lately, I find myself wondering if me being such a change in pace for you is helping you out, because I’m such a giver and I want to help, you’re not used to it and always appreciate it when I help out. You do like it when I am your hero.
You’re a bit of an egoist. Admittedly, so am I, to a different degree. My circle of friends say you’re pretty self-centered and rude. Your rudeness and self-centeredness is more because you don’t give a fuck about what other people think about you. You say what’s on your mind, obviously filtered, but you’re pretty up front. If you don’t like something, you’ll say it. You know your boundaries and aren’t shy to say it out loud. It’s a bit bitchy, but I’ve seen so much worse that this barely registers on my bitchiness meter. You’re arrogant, but because of your job, you have to be...it kind of comes with it. You do flaunt your privilege, but you’re very much aware of it. You don’t care if other people are offended by your existence and with that, you demand your place at the table. I actually respect this about you. But, here’s the thing. Your self-centeredness isn’t actually like that. You’re super sensitive and a sweetheart. You might seem callous to the world around you, but that’s because you don’t care about those people. Those you care about, you seriously do care about them. It’s evident to me, because of how we do things together. Plus I see a side of you that not many others get to see.
You are most likely using me as an emotional girlfriend with none of the physical benefits. There’s a bit of truth to that, but it goes both ways. Here’s what is really happening. Re: emotional gf, we both are in the same boat. You’re totally my emotional gf too. I’m not ready to make out with you or anyone else. I know you are, but you don’t have time. (Plus most of your free time you spend with me lol.) You invite me to places as your +1, and I do the same. The date-y things you want to do (that I secretly wanted to do), we do. It’s Friday night, and you want to do dinner, a movie, and maybe a walk on the beach? How romantic is that? Except there’s no romance at all. And I’m OK with that too. Sure, it’d be great if we were actually dating and I could kiss you, but I love doing these things and if I’m doing it with a friend, that’s perfectly OK with me too. Like, swap out you for a guy, and I’d still love to do that.
I’ve learned that I can’t really say no to you. I should, and sometimes I do, but for the most part I don’t. I know why I can’t say no. It’s because I always want to hang out with you. I want to say that I can’t get enough of you, but I can. I have my limits, too. But by being with you, I am learning about boundaries.
I’ve learned that sometimes what we wish for is what we get, but packaged differently. One of the major things I’ve missed about my friends and family back home is the fact that I didn’t have someone to go out to eat with or chill and watch movies with (literal Netflix and chill, not the euphemism). Then you came along. And this is what we do just about every night.
I’ve also wanted to do a lot of date-y things, but never got the chance until you came along. One of them was going to the beach at night, walking thru the sand and standing in the shallow water, looking up at the moon, talking about life. It was great.
I’ve been wanting to hear “yes” instead of the no’s that I had weirdly gotten accustomed to. And you would say yes to my suggestions a lot of the times. At the beginning, it was almost every time, and for that, I’m forever grateful because it healed me in a way I didn’t expect or realize.
I’m incredibly attached to you, as I get that way with anyone I’m close with. I WANT to spend a lot of time with you.
I clearly have a `type`. Apparently my ex has become my type, and you fit that bill very well, including slightly looking like her (I don’t think so but others do). In a way, you being in my life is a redemption of my previous relationship? Your voice definitely sounds like my ex’s, and I really loved her voice. Yes, I love your voice too. It completely makes my day when you call me unexpectedly from work, with that slightly lower voice. Umph. Our phone conversation only lasts like 1-2 minutes, but it’s a treasure for me for sure.
I have incredible luck when I’m with you. This may compound my desire to want to hang out with you, but for sure it really is, mostly when it comes to job hunting. I’ve had more phone interviews just by sitting with you on the couch than I have in any other method. I also think both of us are lucky people so when we’re together, our luck increases. Or maybe my luck increases and I completely nullify your bad luck.
Either way, I appreciate you in my life. Tho I get moody sometimes, the fact that you’re patient with me and my bad hearing, you understand my jokes, you don’t put down the fact that I’m a nerd, because even if you joke about it, you’re quick to say you’re also a nerd but of a different sort. We really do have a great time together, and I think more than anything I love this about our friendship. I absolutely love you.
*per photo history, apparently 5 months and 1 day, quickly approaching 2
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