Golden Girl Quotes

A collection of quotes and any and all else that I love from the greatest sitcom ever.

[defaultjane]

Rose: I remember St Olaf's most famous psychotherapists, the Freud brothers, Sigmund and Roy. You may have read their bestseller, 'If I Have All the Cheese I Want, Why Am I Still Unhappy?'.

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Sophia: Dorothy, have you seen my teeth?

Dorothy: They’re in your mouth, Ma!

Sophia: I know that! Don’t they look good today? I ran them through the dishwasher.

[goldengirlquotes]

Dorothy: Ma, dizdam is not a word. You made it up.

Sophia: It’s a word!

Dorothy: Fine, use it in a sentence.

Sophia: ...You’re no good at dizdam game!

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“Mmm! If this sauce was a person, I’d get naked and make love to it.”

—Sophia Petrillo

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Blanche: Is that all you Italians know how to do, scream and hit?

Sophia: No, we also know how to make love and sing opera!

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Rose: You know, David, I went to the Bahamas once.

David: Oh yeah? Was it on the Niña, the Pintor or the Santa María?

Rose: 😳 It was a DC-10. I don’t think it had a name.

[goldengirlquotes]

Dorothy: Is that all you care about, money and applause?

Blanche: And sex...for which I generally get applause.

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“Oh! That man makes my ovaltine boil!”

—Rose Nylund

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“You know, your father used to do things to me with feathers when we were first married. But he was too lazy to pluck them off the chicken, so I put an end to that.”

—Sophia Petrillo

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Dorothy: How’s Blanche?

Sophia: She’s fine. She’ll be up and back on her back in no time.

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“Well, I can’t have any scars. See, my clothes are all off the shoulder...sooner or later.”

—Blanche Devereaux

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“I’m as jumpy as a virgin at a prison rodeo!”

—Blanche Devereaux

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Sophia: I never lie.

Dorothy: Ma, how much did you lose at the dog track?

Sophia: None of your business, and that’s the truth!

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The Golden Girls

Rose: Blanche, aren't you mad?

Blanche: Not anymore.

Rose: But we did a terrible thing-you should stay mad at us for a long, long time. You should make us grovel, eat dirt, beg for forgiveness, give us the silent treatment-

Dorothy: Rose, if you'd give us the silent treatment, I will eat dirt!

[goldengirlquotes]

The Golden Girls

Dorothy: So, tell me, how was the wedding?

Sophia: Beautiful...until the bride lifted her vail. I shudder to think what was under that dress!

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The Golden Girls

Dorothy: Well, we're not sure, but we think Kate might be pregnant.

Stan: Wow! That's incredible! That makes me-

Sophia: A yutz. Some things never change.

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The Golden Girls

Rose: Oh, Charlie was a wonderful man, but he could squeeze a nickel till the buffalo pooped!

Sophia: Boy, I'll tell ya, there's something to the power of suggestion. Excuse me.