VERY LOOSELY BASED ON TTS BIG E

Wh40k ask/rp Blog || Emps is based on his TTS counterpart, but now is not a skeleton AND a completely different guy|| mun is a minor

[goldenthroneresident]

//ooc note : here is a kindly reminder that the mod of this amazing blog is! A! Minor ^^! So please keep that in mind when asking things that are NSFW)

The mod is fine with sex jokes and innuendos and Alexander shaming Emps, but what the FUCK are these asks 😭✌️🥀🙏

Also under NO CIRCUMSTANCES will I be interacting with anything Primarchcest related. That is not my cup of tea //

CURRENT STATUS : Hittin that shit, and by that shit, well, heh, I mean his- *gets shot and dies*

CONTENT WARNING TAGS:

#tw suicide : for anything pertaining to suicide-(attempting, discussing, thinking)

[goldenthroneresident]

HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH! SOMEONE’S A FUCKING HYPOCRITE!….. I SHOULD REALLY SWAP OUT THE GLASSWARE FOR THAT METAL THAT DOESN’T BREAK WHEN YOU THROW IT….

[althaineblog]

“…So you saw that, then? Great.”

Elia sent the reply and flopped back on her bed in exasperation wincing at the pain in her shoulder. Of course he had, he’s the frakking Emperor.

[goldenthroneresident]

I SEE EVERYTHING ON TERRA. HOW WOULDN’T I?

[althaineblog]

She raised her middle finger for a moment before continuing to type.

“I was trying to see if I could get the little ink thing to come back. Despite its… questionable allegiance, it does at least act like it cares about my well-being.”

[goldenthroneresident]

HAH.

OH, INK? IT MOST PROBABLY DID CARE ABOUT YOU. THAT LITTLE VOIDLING HAS THE BIGGEST NON-FLESHY METAPHORICAL HEART I’VE EVER SEEN.

[althaineblog]

Past tense. Great. That didn’t hurt at all.

“Then why the hell would it side with the thing that took Alexander?”

[goldenthroneresident]

IT SIDED WITH THE DAMNED DAEMON?…. HUH. MAYBE HIGHER FORCES BULLSHIT. I SHOULD PROBABLY CONTACT ONE OF ITS GUARDIANS TO GET MORE ON THAT…

BUT I MEAN. IT CALLS THE FOUR IT’S SIBLINGS‚ SO IT’S NOT OUT OF THE BALLPARK.

[althaineblog]

“Technically it didn’t say it stood with it, but it didn’t say it stood against it either.”

She attached a scan of what it had written in the notebook.

“I think it was at least trying to give me information about the daemon, before I scared it off like a fucking idiot.”

[goldenthroneresident]

EH. INK STANDS WITH IT’S CARETAKERS IN SIDING SHIT‚ SO IT COULD JUST BE PLAYING NEUTRAL PARTY TO NOT PUT THEM AT RISK.

AND DON’T BE TOO HARSH ON YOURSELF. IT’S RATHER SKITTISH IN THE FIRST PLACE‚ SO THE SCARING OFF JUST HAPPENS SOMETIMES.

[althaineblog]

“Let me know if you can decipher anything more from what it drew. I still don’t understand what the mechanical coffin is, but it seemed to indicate it as a prison, and something to do with death.”

[goldenthroneresident]

WILL-DO

ALSO, DO YOU WANT/NEED ANYTHING BESIDES THAT AT THE MOMENT?

[althaineblog]

“I’m fine, but you doing okay? I heard Valdor and a shard of Azar are fighting.”

[goldenthroneresident]

THEY WERE. NEITHER ARE DEAD I THINK, AND IT ISNT THE FIRST TIME TWO SONS OF MINE TRIED TO KILL EACH OTHER WHILE BEING AFFECTED BY A CURSE/ONE OF THE FOUR. AINT NO THANG.

[althaineblog]

Elia didn’t believe the nonchalant act for a second, but she also knew she wouldn’t get him to drop the facade so easily.

“Let me know if there’s anything I can do to help. I’d rather we not have any more tragedies around here.”

[goldenthroneresident]

NOTHING WILL HAPPEN, AND YOU WILL NOT NEED TO BE TOLD ANYTHING AS NOTHING WILL HAPPEN.

[goldenthroneresident]

Something in your throne room has been in Nurgles toilet and you wont know what untill you answer my riddles three! It's Tzeench time shitass!

OH FUCK

[tzeentch-official]

Who are these people. We know if they are a part of us. Also, we believe one of your Custodians has a daemonic artifact of Nurgle as a trophy

[goldenthroneresident]

DONT KNOW.

AND WHAT?

[tzeentch-official]

They kill a lot of daemons. They loot a lot of the corpses. Check for Nurgle daemon trophies.

[real-tzeench-official]

Hey chat who the fuck is this guy

Anyways...

If you wanna know what got dunked in nurgles toilet, answer this, first and fittest of my riddles three!

"Before you lies an impenatrable door, unopenable to you, and indestructable walls the likes of which even your shitty son dorn could never even conceive of.

The room is completely sealed, and the only thing you have with you is a marlboro red cigarette and a stale peanut butter sandwich (there is no jelly on the sandwich).

How do you escape the room?"

[goldenthroneresident]

WHY THE FUCK IS THERE TWO OF YOU.

SIGH.

WELL I’D PSYKER BULLSHIT MY WAY THROUGH THE CEILING AND/OR FLOOR. YOU DIDNT SPECIFY THAT IT WAS IMPENETRABLE OR INDESTRUCTIBLE OR ANY FUCKING VERSION OF THAT WORD. SO IT THEREFORE IS NOT IN THIS SPECIFIC SCENARIO, AND I CAN GET THROUGH THE CEILING..

[faketzeentchofficial]

Walls and ceilings and floors are merely optional for a room. Only 4th walls my dear most hated Anathema

[goldenthroneresident]

OH MY FUCKING ME. THERE’S ANOTHER ONE.

[faketzeentchofficial]

There are many of we but which is who, and who isn't isn't real of I

[goldenthroneresident]

THIS IS WHY ALL OF YOU AREN’T INVITED TO GAME NIGHT ANYMORE.

[real-tzeench-official]

LET ME PLAY MONOPOLY I CAN BE TRUSTED TO HOLD THE DICE

Also you got the answer wrong, we never specified that you were inside the box, loserhead!

Now you'll never know what was in nurgles toilet! Haha! Nobody bests us in our games... unless we want them to...

[goldenthroneresident]

I WILL BEAT ALL OF YOU WITH FUCKING HAMMERS.

YOU ARE NOT INVITED TO SHOOTS & LADDERS EITHER ANYMORE.

[goldenthroneresident]

HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH! SOMEONE’S A FUCKING HYPOCRITE!….. I SHOULD REALLY SWAP OUT THE GLASSWARE FOR THAT METAL THAT DOESN’T BREAK WHEN YOU THROW IT….

[althaineblog]

“…So you saw that, then? Great.”

Elia sent the reply and flopped back on her bed in exasperation wincing at the pain in her shoulder. Of course he had, he’s the frakking Emperor.

[goldenthroneresident]

I SEE EVERYTHING ON TERRA. HOW WOULDN’T I?

[althaineblog]

She raised her middle finger for a moment before continuing to type.

“I was trying to see if I could get the little ink thing to come back. Despite its… questionable allegiance, it does at least act like it cares about my well-being.”

[goldenthroneresident]

HAH.

OH, INK? IT MOST PROBABLY DID CARE ABOUT YOU. THAT LITTLE VOIDLING HAS THE BIGGEST NON-FLESHY METAPHORICAL HEART I’VE EVER SEEN.

[althaineblog]

Past tense. Great. That didn’t hurt at all.

“Then why the hell would it side with the thing that took Alexander?”

[goldenthroneresident]

IT SIDED WITH THE DAMNED DAEMON?…. HUH. MAYBE HIGHER FORCES BULLSHIT. I SHOULD PROBABLY CONTACT ONE OF ITS GUARDIANS TO GET MORE ON THAT…

BUT I MEAN. IT CALLS THE FOUR IT’S SIBLINGS‚ SO IT’S NOT OUT OF THE BALLPARK.

[althaineblog]

“Technically it didn’t say it stood with it, but it didn’t say it stood against it either.”

She attached a scan of what it had written in the notebook.

“I think it was at least trying to give me information about the daemon, before I scared it off like a fucking idiot.”

[goldenthroneresident]

EH. INK STANDS WITH IT’S CARETAKERS IN SIDING SHIT‚ SO IT COULD JUST BE PLAYING NEUTRAL PARTY TO NOT PUT THEM AT RISK.

AND DON’T BE TOO HARSH ON YOURSELF. IT’S RATHER SKITTISH IN THE FIRST PLACE‚ SO THE SCARING OFF JUST HAPPENS SOMETIMES.

[althaineblog]

“Let me know if you can decipher anything more from what it drew. I still don’t understand what the mechanical coffin is, but it seemed to indicate it as a prison, and something to do with death.”

[goldenthroneresident]

WILL-DO

ALSO, DO YOU WANT/NEED ANYTHING BESIDES THAT AT THE MOMENT?

[althaineblog]

“I’m fine, but you doing okay? I heard Valdor and a shard of Azar are fighting.”

[goldenthroneresident]

THEY WERE. NEITHER ARE DEAD I THINK, AND IT ISNT THE FIRST TIME TWO SONS OF MINE TRIED TO KILL EACH OTHER WHILE BEING AFFECTED BY A CURSE/ONE OF THE FOUR. AINT NO THANG.

[goldenthroneresident]

Something in your throne room has been in Nurgles toilet and you wont know what untill you answer my riddles three! It's Tzeench time shitass!

OH FUCK

[tzeentch-official]

Who are these people. We know if they are a part of us. Also, we believe one of your Custodians has a daemonic artifact of Nurgle as a trophy

[goldenthroneresident]

DONT KNOW.

AND WHAT?

[tzeentch-official]

They kill a lot of daemons. They loot a lot of the corpses. Check for Nurgle daemon trophies.

[real-tzeench-official]

Hey chat who the fuck is this guy

Anyways...

If you wanna know what got dunked in nurgles toilet, answer this, first and fittest of my riddles three!

"Before you lies an impenatrable door, unopenable to you, and indestructable walls the likes of which even your shitty son dorn could never even conceive of.

The room is completely sealed, and the only thing you have with you is a marlboro red cigarette and a stale peanut butter sandwich (there is no jelly on the sandwich).

How do you escape the room?"

[goldenthroneresident]

WHY THE FUCK IS THERE TWO OF YOU.

SIGH.

WELL I’D PSYKER BULLSHIT MY WAY THROUGH THE CEILING AND/OR FLOOR. YOU DIDNT SPECIFY THAT IT WAS IMPENETRABLE OR INDESTRUCTIBLE OR ANY FUCKING VERSION OF THAT WORD. SO IT THEREFORE IS NOT IN THIS SPECIFIC SCENARIO, AND I CAN GET THROUGH THE CEILING..

[faketzeentchofficial]

Walls and ceilings and floors are merely optional for a room. Only 4th walls my dear most hated Anathema

[goldenthroneresident]

OH MY FUCKING ME. THERE’S ANOTHER ONE.

[faketzeentchofficial]

There are many of we but which is who, and who isn't isn't real of I

[goldenthroneresident]

THIS IS WHY ALL OF YOU AREN’T INVITED TO GAME NIGHT ANYMORE.

[goldenthroneresident]

Something in your throne room has been in Nurgles toilet and you wont know what untill you answer my riddles three! It's Tzeench time shitass!

OH FUCK

[tzeentch-official]

Who are these people. We know if they are a part of us. Also, we believe one of your Custodians has a daemonic artifact of Nurgle as a trophy

[goldenthroneresident]

DONT KNOW.

AND WHAT?

[tzeentch-official]

They kill a lot of daemons. They loot a lot of the corpses. Check for Nurgle daemon trophies.

[real-tzeench-official]

Hey chat who the fuck is this guy

Anyways...

If you wanna know what got dunked in nurgles toilet, answer this, first and fittest of my riddles three!

"Before you lies an impenatrable door, unopenable to you, and indestructable walls the likes of which even your shitty son dorn could never even conceive of.

The room is completely sealed, and the only thing you have with you is a marlboro red cigarette and a stale peanut butter sandwich (there is no jelly on the sandwich).

How do you escape the room?"

[goldenthroneresident]

WHY THE FUCK IS THERE TWO OF YOU.

SIGH.

WELL I’D PSYKER BULLSHIT MY WAY THROUGH THE CEILING AND/OR FLOOR. YOU DIDNT SPECIFY THAT IT WAS IMPENETRABLE OR INDESTRUCTIBLE OR ANY FUCKING VERSION OF THAT WORD. SO IT THEREFORE IS NOT IN THIS SPECIFIC SCENARIO, AND I CAN GET THROUGH THE CEILING..

[faketzeentchofficial]

Walls and ceilings and floors are merely optional for a room. Only 4th walls my dear most hated Anathema

[goldenthroneresident]

OH MY FUCKING ME. THERE’S ANOTHER ONE.

[goldenthroneresident]

Somebody should introduce Janus to he-man. Or at the very least the iconic ‘I have the power’ line… actually blond, blue eyed muscular… Janus could do a great he-man cosplay.

Be back gonna go give Janus a note.

HE SHOULD TOTALLY COSPLAY HE-MAN IN FRONT OF HIS LITTLE GUARDSMAN “FRIEND” IF YOU GET WHAT I MEAN.

[goldenthroneresident]

So big E!

How does it feel knowing that for the first time since his curse.

The running warp bet is that Valdor will die?

Normally it’s ’he’ll survive another year.’

But this time?

A whooping 75% are voting Constantin Valdor dies.

Slanneshi Bookkeeper

IM PISSED OFF OF COURSE, UTTERLY PERTURBED AT THIS STATISTIC. BUT I ALSO KNOW THAT I WILL HAVE A FAR LARGER WINNINGS POT ONCE THE YEAR IS THROUGH.

[goldenthroneresident]

Petition to stop Janus from using to the puppy eyes to ask for headpats?

To stop pining

Stop manipulating us into changing this list

To keep doing what Janus is doing?

- the Custodes

SURE

[goldenthroneresident]

HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH! SOMEONE’S A FUCKING HYPOCRITE!….. I SHOULD REALLY SWAP OUT THE GLASSWARE FOR THAT METAL THAT DOESN’T BREAK WHEN YOU THROW IT….

[althaineblog]

“…So you saw that, then? Great.”

Elia sent the reply and flopped back on her bed in exasperation wincing at the pain in her shoulder. Of course he had, he’s the frakking Emperor.

[goldenthroneresident]

I SEE EVERYTHING ON TERRA. HOW WOULDN’T I?

[althaineblog]

She raised her middle finger for a moment before continuing to type.

“I was trying to see if I could get the little ink thing to come back. Despite its… questionable allegiance, it does at least act like it cares about my well-being.”

[goldenthroneresident]

HAH.

OH, INK? IT MOST PROBABLY DID CARE ABOUT YOU. THAT LITTLE VOIDLING HAS THE BIGGEST NON-FLESHY METAPHORICAL HEART I’VE EVER SEEN.

[althaineblog]

Past tense. Great. That didn’t hurt at all.

“Then why the hell would it side with the thing that took Alexander?”

[goldenthroneresident]

IT SIDED WITH THE DAMNED DAEMON?…. HUH. MAYBE HIGHER FORCES BULLSHIT. I SHOULD PROBABLY CONTACT ONE OF ITS GUARDIANS TO GET MORE ON THAT…

BUT I MEAN. IT CALLS THE FOUR IT’S SIBLINGS‚ SO IT’S NOT OUT OF THE BALLPARK.

[althaineblog]

“Technically it didn’t say it stood with it, but it didn’t say it stood against it either.”

She attached a scan of what it had written in the notebook.

“I think it was at least trying to give me information about the daemon, before I scared it off like a fucking idiot.”

[goldenthroneresident]

EH. INK STANDS WITH IT’S CARETAKERS IN SIDING SHIT‚ SO IT COULD JUST BE PLAYING NEUTRAL PARTY TO NOT PUT THEM AT RISK.

AND DON’T BE TOO HARSH ON YOURSELF. IT’S RATHER SKITTISH IN THE FIRST PLACE‚ SO THE SCARING OFF JUST HAPPENS SOMETIMES.

[althaineblog]

“Let me know if you can decipher anything more from what it drew. I still don’t understand what the mechanical coffin is, but it seemed to indicate it as a prison, and something to do with death.”

[goldenthroneresident]

WILL-DO

ALSO, DO YOU WANT/NEED ANYTHING BESIDES THAT AT THE MOMENT?

[goldenthroneresident]

There’s a very vague presence. The large festering soul wound makes it difficult to recognize him. But after a couple more moments.

It feels Valdor-ish.

It vanishes moments later.

( @valdormyprogramingiswrong just a ‘let Emps know that Valdor is still breathing’ kind of message)

HM

SO HE’S NOT DEAD YET.

[goldenthroneresident]

HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH! SOMEONE’S A FUCKING HYPOCRITE!….. I SHOULD REALLY SWAP OUT THE GLASSWARE FOR THAT METAL THAT DOESN’T BREAK WHEN YOU THROW IT….

[althaineblog]

“…So you saw that, then? Great.”

Elia sent the reply and flopped back on her bed in exasperation wincing at the pain in her shoulder. Of course he had, he’s the frakking Emperor.

[goldenthroneresident]

I SEE EVERYTHING ON TERRA. HOW WOULDN’T I?

[althaineblog]

She raised her middle finger for a moment before continuing to type.

“I was trying to see if I could get the little ink thing to come back. Despite its… questionable allegiance, it does at least act like it cares about my well-being.”

[goldenthroneresident]

HAH.

OH, INK? IT MOST PROBABLY DID CARE ABOUT YOU. THAT LITTLE VOIDLING HAS THE BIGGEST NON-FLESHY METAPHORICAL HEART I’VE EVER SEEN.

[althaineblog]

Past tense. Great. That didn’t hurt at all.

“Then why the hell would it side with the thing that took Alexander?”

[goldenthroneresident]

IT SIDED WITH THE DAMNED DAEMON?…. HUH. MAYBE HIGHER FORCES BULLSHIT. I SHOULD PROBABLY CONTACT ONE OF ITS GUARDIANS TO GET MORE ON THAT…

BUT I MEAN. IT CALLS THE FOUR IT’S SIBLINGS‚ SO IT’S NOT OUT OF THE BALLPARK.

[althaineblog]

“Technically it didn’t say it stood with it, but it didn’t say it stood against it either.”

She attached a scan of what it had written in the notebook.

“I think it was at least trying to give me information about the daemon, before I scared it off like a fucking idiot.”

[goldenthroneresident]

EH. INK STANDS WITH IT’S CARETAKERS IN SIDING SHIT‚ SO IT COULD JUST BE PLAYING NEUTRAL PARTY TO NOT PUT THEM AT RISK.

AND DON’T BE TOO HARSH ON YOURSELF. IT’S RATHER SKITTISH IN THE FIRST PLACE‚ SO THE SCARING OFF JUST HAPPENS SOMETIMES.

[goldenthroneresident]

Something in your throne room has been in Nurgles toilet and you wont know what untill you answer my riddles three! It's Tzeench time shitass!

OH FUCK

[tzeentch-official]

Who are these people. We know if they are a part of us. Also, we believe one of your Custodians has a daemonic artifact of Nurgle as a trophy

[goldenthroneresident]

DONT KNOW.

AND WHAT?

[tzeentch-official]

They kill a lot of daemons. They loot a lot of the corpses. Check for Nurgle daemon trophies.

[real-tzeench-official]

Hey chat who the fuck is this guy

Anyways...

If you wanna know what got dunked in nurgles toilet, answer this, first and fittest of my riddles three!

"Before you lies an impenatrable door, unopenable to you, and indestructable walls the likes of which even your shitty son dorn could never even conceive of.

The room is completely sealed, and the only thing you have with you is a marlboro red cigarette and a stale peanut butter sandwich (there is no jelly on the sandwich).

How do you escape the room?"

[goldenthroneresident]

WHY THE FUCK IS THERE TWO OF YOU.

SIGH.

WELL I’D PSYKER BULLSHIT MY WAY THROUGH THE CEILING AND/OR FLOOR. YOU DIDNT SPECIFY THAT IT WAS IMPENETRABLE OR INDESTRUCTIBLE OR ANY FUCKING VERSION OF THAT WORD. SO IT THEREFORE IS NOT IN THIS SPECIFIC SCENARIO, AND I CAN GET THROUGH THE CEILING..

[goldenthroneresident]

HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH! SOMEONE’S A FUCKING HYPOCRITE!….. I SHOULD REALLY SWAP OUT THE GLASSWARE FOR THAT METAL THAT DOESN’T BREAK WHEN YOU THROW IT….

[althaineblog]

“…So you saw that, then? Great.”

Elia sent the reply and flopped back on her bed in exasperation wincing at the pain in her shoulder. Of course he had, he’s the frakking Emperor.

[goldenthroneresident]

I SEE EVERYTHING ON TERRA. HOW WOULDN’T I?

[althaineblog]

She raised her middle finger for a moment before continuing to type.

“I was trying to see if I could get the little ink thing to come back. Despite its… questionable allegiance, it does at least act like it cares about my well-being.”

[goldenthroneresident]

HAH.

OH, INK? IT MOST PROBABLY DID CARE ABOUT YOU. THAT LITTLE VOIDLING HAS THE BIGGEST NON-FLESHY METAPHORICAL HEART I’VE EVER SEEN.

[althaineblog]

Past tense. Great. That didn’t hurt at all.

“Then why the hell would it side with the thing that took Alexander?”

[goldenthroneresident]

IT SIDED WITH THE DAMNED DAEMON?…. HUH. MAYBE HIGHER FORCES BULLSHIT. I SHOULD PROBABLY CONTACT ONE OF ITS GUARDIANS TO GET MORE ON THAT…

BUT I MEAN. IT CALLS THE FOUR IT’S SIBLINGS‚ SO IT’S NOT OUT OF THE BALLPARK.

[goldenthroneresident]

HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH! SOMEONE’S A FUCKING HYPOCRITE!….. I SHOULD REALLY SWAP OUT THE GLASSWARE FOR THAT METAL THAT DOESN’T BREAK WHEN YOU THROW IT….

[althaineblog]

“…So you saw that, then? Great.”

Elia sent the reply and flopped back on her bed in exasperation wincing at the pain in her shoulder. Of course he had, he’s the frakking Emperor.

[goldenthroneresident]

I SEE EVERYTHING ON TERRA. HOW WOULDN’T I?

[althaineblog]

She raised her middle finger for a moment before continuing to type.

“I was trying to see if I could get the little ink thing to come back. Despite its… questionable allegiance, it does at least act like it cares about my well-being.”

[goldenthroneresident]

HAH.

OH, INK? IT MOST PROBABLY DID CARE ABOUT YOU. THAT LITTLE VOIDLING HAS THE BIGGEST NON-FLESHY METAPHORICAL HEART I’VE EVER SEEN.

[goldenthroneresident]

Gotta ask have you seen the Janus piracy universe? (It’s one of my favorites)

YESSSSSSSSSSSSS! TIS ENTERTAINING.

[goldenthroneresident]

HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH! SOMEONE’S A FUCKING HYPOCRITE!….. I SHOULD REALLY SWAP OUT THE GLASSWARE FOR THAT METAL THAT DOESN’T BREAK WHEN YOU THROW IT….

[althaineblog]

“…So you saw that, then? Great.”

Elia sent the reply and flopped back on her bed in exasperation wincing at the pain in her shoulder. Of course he had, he’s the frakking Emperor.

[goldenthroneresident]

I SEE EVERYTHING ON TERRA. HOW WOULDN’T I?