on my own

selective/private indie post-canon ryou bakura rp blog.  sideblog of ancientgoldboundspirit.  written by Gold

[goldfreed]

ryoueuphoria‌:

“H-hey, hang on, what’s wrong?” Ry trotted after him, extremely confused and worried. Why did that freak him out so much? He seemed to shift when talking about Gold… so, Gold freaked him out? Why would Gold freak him out? What possible reason could Ryou have that’d scare him so much– It hit him like a ton of bricks.

“Oh my god… he’s yours isn’t he?”

“...”

Ryou stood in place, before slowly turning to face the other.

“He’s not mine!  Not anymore!  I don’t want anything to do with such a despicable being!”  He trembled, adrenaline flowing through his veins.  If this Ryou was in cahoots with him, the ring spirit...

[goldfreed]

ryoueuphoria‌:

“Gold? What about him?” That was an… unusual reaction. “Ah… you alright?”

No.  Gods no.  He was dating him?

“I’m sorry.  I need to go.  Now.”  He quickly began to head for the door, shaking.

[goldfreed]

ryoueuphoria‌:

“I usually try to keep it clean. Tend to get lazy when my boyfriend comes around. Gold’s enough of a handful on his own without trying to clean up after both of us.” He laughed.

“Should change that, I could come by sometimes if you like.”

“Yeah, I would love--”  Ryou froze, his blood turning cold.

“....Who did you say your boyfriend was...?”  Ryou asked quietly, his mouth suddenly dry.

[goldfreed]

ryoueuphoria‌:

“Fair enough. Mine’s uuhhh… awful. He’s not around anymore so I suppose there’s that. But I’m getting into weird territory now, haha, sorry.”

He stepped up to his apartment building and opened the door for him. “I’m up on the second floor, this way.” Ry walked up the stairs and to his apartment, unlocking the door and letting him in. “Ah, forgive the mess. My boyfriend and I had a bit of a pizza and video game date last night, I didn’t have time to clean it. I’ll get that stuff out of the way.” He went to start collecting trash.

Ryou followed the other into the apartment, smiling kindly.  “It’s no problem, really.”  He hummed happily.  Ah, a boyfriend?  He admitted he was a bit envious.  Ryou hadn’t exactly been on the dating scene in a while.

“My place gets pretty messy too.  I don’t get visitors that often, so I never really have much motivation to clean up.  Bad habit of mine, I guess.”

[goldfreed]

spirit-ofthering‌:

Upon realising the younger man was backing off, Bakura almost thought Ryou had stolen some expensive trinket since he was so nervous and shifty. Then it clicked. Evil Spirit meets Host once more, it wouldn’t matter that it wasnt his host, Ryou was no doubt still alarmed.

“Well, if you won’t show me then you can atleast buy me a coffee, no?”

This spirit seemed to share the same tendencies that most other ring spirits he faced had-- he was entirely too casual and familiar with him.  Like he expected to be forgiven, and not face any sort of ramifications for his past actions.

“Why would I do something like that?  What have you done to deserve anything out of me?”

[goldfreed]

@spirit-ofthering​​ cont. from (x)

Ryou turned to face the stranger, and he almost yelped.  A Bakura.  He hadn’t realized he’d struck up a conversation with one of them.

“I-It’s nothing.”  He stammered, slowly backing away.

[goldfreed]

ryoueuphoria‌:

“That obvious huh? I can’t help it, I like the revenge subreddits, they’re so fucking entertaining.”

“Also the entitled parents and insane parents subreddits, but that’s just me being bitter about my own situation I suppose. From what I gather, most of my alternates still have their dads though, definitely seem to have better relationships with them.”

“I’ll have to check some of those out.”  Ryou laughed.  “Seems like a good way to spend the afternoon.”

“Ah-- yeah.  My dad’s still here, but I moved out as soon as I could.  Nothing against him, I love him, but... I just couldn’t stand the idea of putting him in more harm’s way.”  Not to mention, seeing his dad triggered very unpleasant memories of the ring spirit.

[goldfreed]

ryoueuphoria‌:

“That’s kinda cool. I don’t remember the last time I spoke to Yugi now that I think about it… oh well.” He shrugged. “My friends are more the type to send pictures of people getting hit with karma more than cosplayers.”

Ah, that kind of friend.  “--I mean, that sounds fun too.  Some people deserve that karma slap to the face.”

Like the ring spirit.

“You take me as the type to scroll for hours on Reddit.”

[ohisms]

𝗖𝗥𝗬𝗕𝗔𝗕𝗬 𝗕𝗬 𝗠𝗘𝗟𝗔𝗡𝗜𝗘 𝗠𝗔𝗥𝗧𝗜𝗡𝗘𝗭   —   PART  01 / 02:   inbox meme

pronouns and tenses are subject to changing !

❥  crybaby ~

❝  you take things so hard  ❞ ❝  your heart’s too big for your body  ❞ ❝  but,  you don’t fucking care  ❞ ❝  you’re all on your own  ❞ ❝  you’re one of a kind  ❞ ❝  i look at you and i see myself  ❞ ❝  i know you better than anyone else  ❞

❥  dollhouse ~

❝  we’ll be a perfect family  ❞ ❝  no one ever listens  ❞ ❝  everyone thinks that we’re perfect  ❞ ❝  i see things that nobody else sees  ❞ ❝  go back to being plastic  ❞ ❝  throw on your dress  ❞

❥ sippy cup ~

❝  how did you afford this?  ❞ ❝  you don’t think that i’m that fucking dumb, do you?  ❞ ❝  all the makeup in the world won’t make you less insecure  ❞ ❝  blood still stains when the sheets are washed  ❞

❥  carousel ~

❝  come on, take my hand  ❞ ❝  it’s all fun and games until somebody falls in love  ❞ ❝  we’re a freakshow  ❞ ❝  there’s no turning back now  ❞

❥  alphabet boy ~

❝  you build me up just so you can bring me down  ❞ ❝  you’ll never catch me crying  ❞ ❝  you think you’re smarter than me  ❞ ❝  i’m not a little kid, now  ❞ ❝  you’re not my daddy, and i’m not your dolly  ❞

❥ training wheels ~

❝  i think i got myself in trouble  ❞ ❝  it’s not like i’m asking to be your wife  ❞ ❝  is this coming off in a cheesy way?  ❞ ❝  i love everything you do  ❞

[goldfreed]

ryoueuphoria‌:

“I see them from time to time, usually in passing more than actively looking to visit with them. One of their alternates lives in my building actually, she’s up on the fifth floor. I see her sometimes but I think she must work nights cuz we don’t cross paths often.”

He shoved his hands in his pockets. “Made a set of new friends, hang around them more.”

Ryou nodded.  “I understand.”  He should really get on that himself, making new friends.  But, he found that... difficult.  He was scared to, really-- even with the spirit gone, part of him was convinced he was simply cursed, and would end up hurting every one he became attached to.

“I text mine from time to time.  Sent Yuugi a picture of a really good Dark Magician Girl cosplayer a while ago.  He really enjoyed that.”

[goldfreed]

ryoueuphoria‌:

“If you’re sure, you’re not obligated to.” He stood from the table.

“It’s just around the corner.”

Ryou stood up, taking his beverage with him as he followed his alternate to his apartment.

“Do you still keep in contact with your friends?”  He asked.  “--I’ve grown... distant from mine.”

[goldfreed]

ryoueuphoria‌:

“You wanna head to my place? It’s only around the corner. If you’re not comfortable with that we can head to the park instead.” He still felt pretty bad for setting him off.

“I appreciate it but you shouldn’t make yourself uncomfortable for the sake of others. I sort of live by like… do what makes you happiest. So don’t listen to me ramble if it hurts you.”

Ryou pursed his lips.  He normally wouldn’t go to the house of a complete stranger on a whim.  But, this man... He wasn’t a stranger at all.  He was him.

“--If you’ll have me, I’d love to.”  He smiled gently.  

[goldfreed]

ryoueuphoria‌:

“You wanna talk about it? Or just… get out of here in general?” He’d noticed the trembling and figured it might be best to get out so they weren’t so public.

“You can tell me to shut up, you know. I definitely have people I can talk to about stuff, I really should have been more careful. You don’t gotta be uncomfortable just cuz I’m being a fuck and talking about shit.”

“...Maybe it would be best to get some air.”  Ryou agreed.

“No, I’m not going to tell you to shut up.  Your story is important, like all of ours.” He wasn’t going to pass up validating the experiences of an alternate.  No, they all deserved to be heard.

[goldfreed]

ryoueuphoria‌:

“It is… eventually you just learn to fill the void with better people.”

“H-hey are you alright? We can stop talking about this if it’s upsetting. Sorry, I should have been more careful with my choice in subject.”

Ryou swallowed, trembling just slightly.  “I-- I’m fine.”  He took a deep breath to try and calm himself.

“Sorry about that.  You’re fine, I promise.  It’s just a really tough topic for me.  It’s good though, to get things off your chest.”

[goldfreed]

ryoueuphoria‌:

“It also like… really fucks with your head. I know everyone’s time and specific relationships with their spirits are different, but I had mine for like… more than 10 years. When he was suddenly gone and there was no other voice in my head it really fucked with me. Like yeah he was a dick but he was also like… there you know? Suddenly I’m alone physically and mentally… shit was crippling but no one seems to understand that you can miss someone without liking the things they did.”

“Ah, but I’ve gone off on a bit of a rant. I know not all of them are horrible people. Incredibly flawed maybe but… everyone’s story is a little different. The only thing any of us have in common is like… general events.”

“I understand.  Completely.”  Truth be told, Ryou didn’t miss his spirit at all.  The things he had done to him were horrifying in more ways than one-- leaving Ryou with trust issues that next to no one could break.

“The silence.  It’s deafening.”

[goldfreed]

ryoueuphoria‌:

“Don’t worry about it, I’ve definitely heard weirder from strangers.” He grinned.

“Haven’t we all though? I don’t think I’ve met a single one of us who didn’t have a shitty run with a shitty ghost and an absent father.”

Ryou nodded sadly.

“Life just seems to have it out for us, hm?”  To put it bluntly, it sucked.  “Everyone acts like we should be happy now, that the spirit is gone, that we don’t have to deal with that anymore... But, it leaves scars.  Deep scars.”  He sighed, shaking his head.  “No one deserves that.”

[goldfreed]

ryoueuphoria‌:

“Yeah, didn’t really want to leave I guess. It’s a familiar place, yknow? I did move downtown, though, couldn’t really stand being in Dad’s house any longer. Still teeechnically own the place but I don’t go often.” He shrugged. “Just kinda how things settled ah… after everything. “

Ryou nodded, understanding completely.

“You seem to be doing alright for yourself.  I’m glad.”  A slight blush crossed his face after he spoke.  “--Ah... I hope that didn’t come across as weird or anything, I’m sorry.”  He laughed nervously.  “I just... yeah.    You’ve been through a lot, I can tell.”