“but where is kravitz in this au,” u may ask. and to that i say, he has been here all along. while lup and barry have been tracking taako, kravitz has been tracking lup and barry. and after months of searching and just, so many missed connections, kravitz is done with this wild goose chase. kravitz is pissed. surrender now please, he says
“um? no? we’re not liches?” lup tells him. “like clearly??? our bodies are made of meat.” she pinches barry’s arm.
“also, uh, personally speaking, i’ve never died? like, not even once?” barry insists.
kravitz wrinkles his nose. fucken amateurs. like if you’re going to lie to his face at least use some body spray to mask the scent of death. these guys REEK of eau de lich.
 "’oh, i’m innocent! you’ve got the wrong guy!’ please.” kravitz says. “like i’ve never heard that one before. now are you going to come quietly or what”
“what” lup says, and then she casts fireball.
anyways the point is they make a daring escape and then later when kravitz finds them again he’s even more Tired than he was before, bc he spoke to the raven queen, who spoke to istus, and apparently these cats are “special cases” and “their survival is already weaved into fate’s tapestry, see look, kravitz, istus used such a nice red for their corrupted abominable souls, right here”
BUT since the raven queen can’t abide a lich to suffer this earth, she’s requested kravitz keep an eye on them. personally. all the time. he’s their new parole officer
and that’s how they all become best friends, eventually. cue balance campaign. the end
gamechangershow
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