NO DOGS ON THE MOON

(Header by @glowbat) -*- TAZ Fanblog in all its forms! -*- Main blog: @petrichormeraki

[just-solaris-here]

Merle Highchurch in a shirt that says "I'm not the STEP DAD, I'm the dad that STEPPED DOWN."

[stars-n-kites]

really enjoy the implication that merle is a powerful cleric not because hes particularly devout or even really that good at it but because pan just really loves him specifically. divine nepo baby

[srapsodia]

Commission for @petrifiedforests of Taako and Lup from TAZ Balance. Thank you so much! 💖

[anistarrose]

I like to imagine that there's two bathrooms on the Starblaster, but the only binary they're separated by is "Captain Davenport" and "Not Captain Davenport"

[anistarrose]

strategies employed by members of the crew to gain access to the more prestigious, captains-only, heavily guarded bathroom:

Barry: multiclasses as a rogue

Taako: tries bribing Dav with food. not only is this unsuccessful, but Dav rubs it in by frequently thanking Taako for replenishing his supply of Shower Scones

Lup and Magnus: team up to distract Dav whenever the other one needs to go

Taako again: invisibility spell. unfortunately, Dav has set up magical traps in anticipation of this exact occurrence

Lucretia: insists that she needs access to the bathroom to properly sketch it for her journal. this technique does work, but only once

Taako, thinking outside the box: joins a sailing crew planetside to try and speedrun his way up to Captain, so that he has legal grounds for Captains Only Bathroom privileges. despite his best efforts, a year just isn't enough time to make it work

Merle: actually just takes a two-hour shower in peace in the original bathroom while everyone is trying to break into the other one

Taako, in a final fit of desperation: casts Enlarge/Reduce on himself to get tiny and crawl in through the vents. inadvertently starts a rumor that the ship's HVAC system is haunted. takes a wrong turn to the botany lab and walks/falls in on Merle with an onion. finally decides to let his bathroom white whale go after that experience

[mspainttaz]

stolen century blupjeans beloved

[i.d. a drawing of lup and barry. lup has short choppy hair and is wearing pajamas. she is happily reading from the papers in her hand while sitting at a table. barry is wearing a sweater, jeans, and a sappy smile. he is cutely laying on top of the table to pay attention to lup. on his back someone taped a paper that reads "simp". end i.d.]

[ducknewtonscoolhat]

With the final episode of my relisten to Amnesty, I thought I would take the opportunity to remind everyone of this.

[holdmecloser-gandydancer]

folks. there are preview pages. and I'm biting at the bars on my cage

[holdmecloser-gandydancer]

I have normal thoughts about all of this

[herbgerblin]

A comprehensive list of Lup sensations (Lupsations?) documented 24-72 hours post emerging from body regrowth chamber, dictated by Lup Taaco Bluejeans:

Wind - cold but good

Sunlight - warm, so so good. please open all of the windows, especially for naptime

Grass - noooooo nono no nope sorry it’s too much :(

Carpet - mmmmmm kind of having a bad feet time here. Socks help a lot though

Wood - rough but not bad

Glass - smooth like a shark >:)

Water - warm is good but the second it gets room temp I gotta vamoosh. It’s freezing

Soap - icky but similar to the chamber goo, so manageable

Hair - why does my own hair feel weird? what the fuck? why have I never noticed that?

Fabric - cotton and polyester is fine. Anything with lace is too itchy, which fucking sucks because all my silk shit has lace on it. velvet is now on thin fucking ice. I can forgive denim because I know it would never hurt me on purpose

Barry - literally perfect do not fucking change a thing I’m so fucking serious. Barold I swear to fuck—

Hugs - yes love ‘em hello please give me many many hugs thank you :>

Bed - good, but needs more pillows

Taako - good, but please take off the lace I’m sorry it’s itchy :(

Couch - velvet, but Barry laid a cotton sheet over it, so we’re good for now

Taako’s cats - good

Magnus’ dogs - good

Merle’s plants - Merle do not fucking bring that fern in my vicinity! I will raze it, I’ll do it!

Magic casting - tinglier than I remember? Also exhausting, imma need to hold off on magic for a bit

Soup - soup :)

Herbal Tea - good but now the sprig of rosemary feels weird in my mouth :/

Family - perfect

Home - perfect

Life - good :3

[herbgerblin]

ID: Digital art comic featuring Merle, Magnus, and Taako from the Adventure Zone. Merle is an older dwarf man with brown skin, grey hair, and a beard. He is wearing a jack-o-lantern shirt and has vines growing around his face. He is holding his X-treme Teen Bible as he says, "Hallowed be thy ween." Magnus, a human man dressed as Frankenstein's monster, exclaims, "You're gonna hollow out my what?" Taako, an elven wizard dressed as a skeleton with cobweb accents, replies from behind, "Your Ween!" End ID

[yourbelgianthings]

taz:b wedding outfit hcs! and bonus danbrey

taako and kravitz: taako would wear like a lavender silk slip dress that’s close to floor length but stops at the bottom of his ankles (to show off the shoes too ofc) with a white suit jacket and a green carnation boutonnière, kravitz is already wearing a tux all the time so he just gets another one made but changes the jacket and pants to white, the vest to a lighter gray, and the tie to lavender to match taako’s dress, he also has the same boutonnière, and they get married in a fancy banquet hall with merle officiating

barry and lup: lup would wear a red jumpsuit and gold open toe heels, and barry would wear a red button down, a black jacket, and you guessed it: blue jeans! they get married on the beach, also with merle as the officiant

julia and magnus: julia would wear a short sleeve tea length blue and white floral print dress with a twirly skirt, flats, and a flower crown, and magnus would wear navy blue pants and vest, white button down, and a tie that’s a blue to match julia’s dress, also with a flower crown, they probably just got married at the raven’s roost town hall and had a party afterwards

aubrey and dani: aubrey would wear a black jumpsuit (because of course aubrey would wear black to her own wedding, fuck tradition), her combat boots, the flamebright pendant, and her fingerless gloves, she has a ton of piercings but she would change her lobes to silver heart studs, dani would wear a white dress with lace long sleeves and an open back, and silver flats, they would get married at the old cryptonomica with mama officiating

[ducknewtonscoolhat]

No daily duck art today, working on some suggestions as well as another thing (All Duck related LMAO) but I will share my thoughts this evening! I had a few more thoughts about Aubrey and Duck, and their wonderful sibling relationship. I was planning on having a uhhh- a post about this whole idea but I decided to talk about it a little bit here just about Aubrey and Duck because they make me smile more than I realized. It's very likely that their sibling relationship very much stirs from the fact that Justin and Travis are brothers, but yk. Anyways, I was looking at Taz tiktoks and I saw a cosplay of Duck / some art of the scene were Aubrey asks Duck if she can have the last waffle and he tells her they a'int vegan, it is one of the funniest things in my personal and professional opinion. The idea that even though they've known each other like. I dont remember how long it is, I'm gonna bet like around 2 years at this point and Duck just assumes she's vegan and she's just like, "duck... what????" and is like so confused about it. That is the most sibling thing ever, "I swear to all that's holy you said you were Vegan at SOME point." "Duck, I never said that." And (if you haven't read my other posts this might not make a bunch of sense but yk) the years between the end of Amnesty and when they head to the Amazon, I think Aubrey and Duck spend a LOT of time together. Be it the just hang out with one another, sleep over kinda style, or even going on double dates with Dani and Minerva. I think that they helped each other cope through the grief of Ned passing, and, while it was most definitely hard on Aubrey, I can imagine she took it real fucking hard especially after reading her letter from Ned and realizing that everything wasn't the way she thought it was and also the whole thing with seeing Ned's death? Yeah I'm sure she had a lot in her head, but also I think Duck took a pretty big hit too. We read in the letter that Ned and Duck are old friends and I really believe that losing Ned hurt a lot for Duck. Aubrey was there to help him heal, and even if Ned was gone he had Aubrey, and of course the rest of the lodge, but Aubrey meant and means a lot to him as his family. Again I think she reminds him a lot of his sister and some day he ends up introducing them and they hit it off as besties. But like when he goes to the Amazon, I think he misses Aubrey the absolute most. He misses Mama and Indrid and the rest of the lodge, but being away from Aubrey after all those years is probably a really difficult change for him. I think he gets through it just fine, especially externally, but internally I think he thinks about her a lot. That's all I'm saying.

[ducknewtonscoolhat]

Okay so I wasn't planning on posting again tonight but me and my friend were talking about Duck and Minerva and it got me looking through fanart of them and now I cannot stop thinking about them. You all are going to have to deal with my brain thoughts. So basically they are the most loving, most genuine couple in my personal, and professional opinion. Because of the fact that Minerva just is not from earth, and the fact that she is also so straightforward, communicating with Duck is never an issue. The idea of miscommunication or not communicating at all with partners isn't really something that comes up in her world, me thinks, and so it doesn't really come up in Duck and Minerva's relationship. At least on Minerva's side. I think that Duck often says things that Minerva misunderstands but he always does his best to make sure she gets it eventually. He would never leave her in the dark about something. I think that they do so very well with communicating with one another. Also they love one another in such an unconditional way. They are absolutely in love with one another, and with every thing they do they only fall even harder as time goes on. Duck just sees this woman, who is so genuine and caring who does everything with pride and a sort of strength he has never seen anyone with and is just like, "Damn. I'm so fuckin' in love with that woman." And Minerva is the same way but not in the same maner. While Duck is very mumble under his breath kinda admiration for Minerva, she is VERY open with what she thinks of him. And literally with everything. She never falls short with telling him how she thinks of him, and it's always something positive, saying to him that he's built like a warrior or just compliments everything he does and often he finds her staring at him. And he's probably like, "Uh you good?" And she just grins super wide and says back to him, "YES, DUCK NEWTON. WHEN I AM IN YOUR PRESENCE, I AM ALWAYS MORE THAN EXCEPTIONAL. YOU FILL ME WITH JOY!" Or something along those lines, something extreme for normal human standards, but for Minerva, it's just how she is.

Minerva and Duck are just so in love, they have spent so much of their lives with one another, and I feel like Minerva hasn't just taught Duck stuff but Duck has also taught her so many things as well. They care so much for one another and make each other better by building of each other and being better for it.

To put it simply I love them your honor, they are in love and I am insane.

[lazylittledragon]

mentally i’m still here 🖤🖤

[duck-newton]

thinking about how in That Episode of amnesty, Clint definitely had like a ton of luck points left, and no way Travis “I’ll use a luck point for that” McElroy was going to let his father get away with forgetting that, especially for something as important as this, and they probably definitely table-talked it and Clint probably definitely said “no, this is the only way his story can feasibly end, he needs to be a hero.”

[uglypaw]

what do the taakitz cats think of Krav's skelie form?

theyre a big fan 

[najsigt]

Honey did you forget the cat in your chest cavity again?

[skygemspeaks]

[yardsards]

merle and lucretia's friendship is so very good and extremely underrated. like during the lunar interludes but especially during stolen century. the way merle spent their last night on their home plane making sure lucretia was safe at the bar, the way clint always seems to jump at the chance to bring lucretia along for whatever merle's doing that cycle, the little talk when she's still quiet and shy but he tells her he thinks she could make a great leader. i love this crunchy dad trying to gently convince this quiet little perfectionist to come out of her shell, and her reciprocating that friendship in her own way.