Doing a 100% run in Skyrim is hilarious. I'm a vampire, a werewolf, a cannibal and a vampire hunter. I work for the empire and the rebellion. I just became archmage of the college I enrolled in two days ago. I'm the leader of the Blades, the Companions, the Thieves Guild and the Dark Brotherhood of Assassins. Yesterday I cut a ghost's head off and it died.
I'm Thane of every hold in Skyrim, but all the Jarls hate my guts. They call me a miserable wretch and then offer me the nicest house in the city. I personally assassinated the Emperor, brought him back as a zombie and successfully negotiated a peace treaty with his generals while he wandered around the room snarling and moaning. I've gotten married to every single eligible bachelor and bachelorette in the country and they keep saying yes even though my previous spouses all died mysteriously while getting hit in the head with my enchanted war hammer. I'm pretty sure my horse is a daedra.
Everybody says the elder scrolls are powerful artifacts from before the dawn of time that have been lost to history, but I have two of them in my backpack next to my collection of severed witch heads and a couple of pies. The pies are a treat for my adopted children whom I love with all my heart, I haven't seen them in a while because I forgot which of my mansions I left them in. I have pledged my immortal soul to five different daedric princes.
I'm a serial killer. I'm a legendary hero. I'm an abomination in the eyes of gods, men and mer. I'm a delivery boy.
drunk reader / grumpy arthur but it's funny and cute pls x
I think I did one similar to this, but I wrote another for your ask. Enjoy!
“Christ, woman,” Arthur grumbled, catching you once again. “Would you just stay still?”
You were laughing now, swaying from side to side, making his job all the more difficult. He had been trying for a few minutes now to walk you back to your shared tent, but you kept tripping on your own feet and almost dragging him down with you.
Listening to his groans and huffs of annoyance had sent you into a fit of giggles, unable to see it as anything but funny.
“Where ya takin’ me?” you slurred, clutching the front of his shirt in your hands. “I’m playin’ poker with Hosea!”
“Darlin’, you ain’t no good at poker on a good day, I don’t think you wanna be losin’ your money tonight,” he explained.
You frowned, looking up at him with a pout.
“I’m good at poker,” you whined.
Arthur shook his head, fighting off a grin.
“Whatever you say.”
“Pleeeeease can I play?”
“You can’t even stand up,” he sighed, watching you begin to fall once again. “Goddamn it, I can’t keep walkin’ you ‘round like this.”
Arthur reached down, hooking his arms around the back of your knees and hoisting you up into his arms. You squealed in surprise, wrapping your arms around him.
“C’n we go for a ride?”
“Right now? Hell, you’d fall off the damn horse,” he shook his head. “You’re goin’ to bed.”
“But it’s so pretty up there,” you whined, looking up at the stars. “Look, Arthur! Look how pretty it is.”
“I can see, darlin’,” he sighed. “Better than you can right now, anyway. I bet you’re seein’ three of me, ain’t you?”
You looked back to him with a dopey smile.
“If only I were so lucky,” you giggled, leaning in to press a kiss to his lips.
Arthur was stunned for a second, unable to hide the blush on his cheeks at your words and gentle kiss. When you made it to the tent, Arthur did his best to lower you down onto the cot, but you refused to let go of him. Your arms remained around his neck as he tried to pull away.
“C’mon, quit playin’,” he mumbled, hovering over you.
“If I'm goin’ to bed, you’re comin’ wit’ me,” you laughed.
“I’m not the one who finished off a bottle of whiskey,” he pointed out. “I can still walk and talk jus’ fine,”
“So can I!” you defended, pulling at him until he gave in and fit himself against you.
His warm body was pressed up against yours, his arms on either side of your head as you looked up at him with a pleased grin.
“Howdy cowboy,” you laughed, running your hands through his hair.
Arthur hummed lightly in response, leaning down to press his forehead against yours. There was something about your fingers scratching at his scalp, threading through his hair, and tickling the back of his neck that made him weaker than he’d care to admit.
“You are a nuisance, you know that?” he whispered, letting out a long sigh. “A loud, clumsy, drunken goddamn nuisance.”
You laughed again, brushing your nose against his.
“I ain’t drunk, mister.”
Arthur chuckled at that.
“Sure, you ain’t. Tell yourself that in the mornin’, sweetheart,”
You smiled up at him once more, continuing to brush your fingers through his hair before you cupped his face in your hands, running your thumb over his cheeks and his bottom lip. Arthur melted at your touch.
“I like it wh’n you call me sweetheart,” you admit, blinking up at him slowly.
Arthur blushed, once again, but didn’t bother hiding the grin on his lips. You were the only person in this whole world who got to see that specific smile on his face. The one smile he reserved for you and only you, when he was truly happy.
“Mm, well, you’re lucky I like sayin’ it, sweetheart,” he smirked.
“What do you like me callin’ you?” you asked.
Arthur shook his head, still grinning.
“Anything you like,”
“Sugar?” you asked, giggling as you pressed a kiss to his lips with each word. “Honey? Darling? Cowboy?”
Arthur’s laughter vibrated through his chest, making you feel it as well, before he gently flipped your positions. He laid back against the pillows with you on top of him, covering him as much as you could, and you nestled into his chest. His arms wrapped around you, one hand snaking up into your hair.
“My Arthur,” you sighed, closing your eyes.
“Mm, that one,” Arthur responded, knowing you were seconds off falling asleep on top of him. “I like that one.”
"Altiera was one of those rare few geniuses who could not only run the Net, but also create new concepts and new code. She wasn't just your typical netrunner, but one of the best programmers in the world."
Dont repost, don't claim as your own, dont dehydrate, don't ever talk to my children or me ever again, etc. etc.
I'm a streetwalking cheetah with a heart full of napalm
I'm a runaway son of the nuclear A-bomb
I am the world's forgotten boy
The one who searches and destroys
Honey gotta help me please
Somebody gotta save my soul
Baby, detonate for me
I'm back ya'll needed some downtime after 2021 beat me on the head with a stick x100
nothing to show for my absence except a lil thing I did for gonkposting christmas feat the brain worm
janainaart
turnnoffyourmind
vaporwave
2087
pixelskylines
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