Growing up in California is kinda crazy bc you’ll live somewhere where it has never snowed in your lifetime but you’re an hour away from where some of the worst known winter catastrophes happened so you grow up acutely aware of how the snow Can And Will Kill You and you’re appropriately cautious anytime you’re in the snow because the Sierra Nevadas do not fuck around. And then you get older and you move somewhere where it snows a normal amount and it feels like a specter of narrowly avoided death is coming to haunt you year after year to tell you that you really should have died on that mountain, that it was the mercy of the universe that that tree well didn’t collapse, that that snow shelf didn’t detach, that you got horribly lost on an unseasonably warm day. And year after year the icy hills beckon you to return, to go where the snow reaches your chest and where you can quietly collapse in a muted peace, body wrapped in cold weight until the thaw that you’ll never see.
girls will remember the fact that there’s a last time for everything and be normal about that. And they’ll remember that any moment not spent in quality time is a moment that a future self would kill to get back. And then they remember that time spent in recuperation and time spent apart and time spent with a wide range of people is part of what makes that time quality time, and that if two people spend all their time together, the quality decreases significantly. And that makes them feel a little bit better but they are still sobbing silently at 1 am on Christmas Eve.
inside of you are two wolves. One of them wants to tell your classmate that their sculpture is totally giving dreamthing. The other knows that a college art critique is one of the worst times to bring up the raven cycle.
You aren't dead, but you're leaving our friend group.
You aren't dead but you've moved to a different state and now we text twice a year.
You aren't dead but you blocked me.
You aren't dead but we stopped talking, not on purpose but so long ago that I wouldn't even know what to say to you now.
You aren't dead but you're a stranger to me now.
You aren't dead but we lost touch and now I don't even remember your username.
You aren't dead but I ended things with you and now we never speak.
You aren't dead but I still have to grieve you. Whether I'd change it if I could or not, you're still a presence that I'm used to and now you won't be there anymore.
Everything Is Awful and I’m Not Okay: questions to ask before giving up
Are you hydrated? If not, have a glass of water.
Have you eaten in the past three hours? If not, get some food — something with protein, not just simple carbs. Perhaps some nuts or hummus?
Have you showered in the past day? If not, take a shower right now.
If daytime: are you dressed? If not, put on clean clothes that aren’t pajamas. Give yourself permission to wear something special, whether it’s a funny t-shirt or a pretty dress.
If nighttime: are you sleepy and fatigued but resisting going to sleep? Put on pajamas, make yourself cozy in bed with a teddy bear and the sound of falling rain, and close your eyes for fifteen minutes — no electronic screens allowed. If you’re still awake after that, you can get up again; no pressure.
Have you stretched your legs in the past day? If not, do so right now. If you don’t have the spoons for a run or trip to the gym, just walk around the block, then keep walking as long as you please. If the weather’s crap, drive to a big box store (e.g. Target) and go on a brisk walk through the aisles you normally skip.
Have you said something nice to someone in the past day? Do so, whether online or in person. Make it genuine; wait until you see something really wonderful about someone, and tell them about it.
Have you moved your body to music in the past day? If not, do so — jog for the length of an EDM song at your favorite BPM, or just dance around the room for the length of an upbeat song.
Have you cuddled a living being in the past two days? If not, do so. Don’t be afraid to ask for hugs from friends or friends’ pets. Most of them will enjoy the cuddles too; you’re not imposing on them.
Do you feel ineffective? Pause right now and get something small completed, whether it’s responding to an e-mail, loading up the dishwasher, or packing your gym bag for your next trip. Good job!
Do you feel unattractive? Take a goddamn selfie. Your friends will remind you how great you look, and you’ll fight society’s restrictions on what beauty can look like.
Do you feel paralyzed by indecision? Give yourself ten minutes to sit back and figure out a game plan for the day. If a particular decision or problem is still being a roadblock, simply set it aside for now, and pick something else that seems doable. Right now, the important part is to break through that stasis, even if it means doing something trivial.
Have you seen a therapist in the past few days? If not, hang on until your next therapy visit and talk through things then.
Have you been over-exerting yourself lately — physically, emotionally, socially, or intellectually? That can take a toll that lingers for days. Give yourself a break in that area, whether it’s physical rest, taking time alone, or relaxing with some silly entertainment.
Have you changed any of your medications in the past couple of weeks, including skipped doses or a change in generic prescription brand? That may be screwing with your head. Give things a few days, then talk to your doctor if it doesn’t settle down.
Have you waited a week? Sometimes our perception of life is skewed, and we can’t even tell that we’re not thinking clearly, and there’s no obvious external cause. It happens. Keep yourself going for a full week, whatever it takes, and see if you still feel the same way then.
You’ve made it this far, and you will make it through. You are stronger than you think.
This post is available as a downloadable one-page PDF here.
Some people have asked about making this into a poster or redistributing it. This post is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 International License: alteration and redistribution are welcome as long as you attribute my tumblr. For some background and FAQ about the post, see my follow-up post.
Sick with love like a humor, like the sun has bloomed in my chest and is crushing me under its weight. Like god picked me up like an ant and showed me the world just to set me back down again. Like Cassandra sitting on her secrets, afraid of what will happen when others hear the truth. I stare into the sun, and in the second before it blinds me, my dying retinal cells paint the most beautiful blues
Also the fact that like. Y’all were right this genuinely does feel like an illness. Like can’t think heart pounding hands shaking, if I had these symptoms without a clear cause I would think I was coming down with something. What in the fuck.
something that no one tells you is that if you go 21 years being very far towards the aro side of the arospec and rapidly get catapulted towards the other side you will get fucking whiplash over the things you scoffed at that now apply to you. Anyways so it turns out that a good 50% of what I assumed was metaphor in music was actually just completely true.
Use: Enter a word, phrase, description, or pattern above to find synonyms, related words, and more.
Good For: Can't think of a word but can describe what you want it to mean, enter that description and it will give you words associated. Enter: "strong wind" -> gale, storm, tempest, tornado, etc
Cost: Free
✎ Writing Realistic Injuries
Use: Seems kinda obvious, learning how to write proper and realistic injuries.
Good For: ...writing realistic injuries I guess? It's really helpful: minor injuries like emotional reactions, fainting, shock, broken bones, dislocated joints, burns, hostile environments, includes some normal ranges for things like blood pressure, pulse rate, body temperature. Also has accurate blood loss amounts and what is considered normal, severe and maximum and from what body part.
Cost: Free
✎ Charlotte Dillon: Information Links for Writers
Use: Information on everything!
Good For: Research for medicine during the Middle ages or learning about what phrases were used in the Old West. Castle terms, rigor mortis information, viking foodstuffs, supernatural lore, regency facts, Irish sayings, and even ancient gynecology facts (why? no idea but it must be useful for someone). This place has everything.
Cost: Free
✎ Color Names and Descriptions
Use: Self explanatory.
Good For: Find some nice names for black or orange without saying black or orange. Get my drift?
Cost: Free
✎ Writers Write: Traits
Use: Find traits for your characters
Good For: Negative, positive, ambivalent traits, you get the picture.
Cost: Free
✎ Writers Write: Body Language
Use: Body language descriptions
Good For: Micro-expressions, hand gestures, and posture.
Cost: Free
🐝 ✎ Describing Words
Use: Find words to describe things.
Good For: Want to describe a tree? Enter tree and the site will generate descriptive phrases of a tree.
Cost: Free
🐝 ✎ Descriptionari
Use: Finding examples for creative inspiration.
Good For: writing prompts, descriptions of scenes, and help with describing a scene such a kiss or fight scene.
Good For: Generating names for people, places, things, planets, diseases, etc. Has a wide selection of name generators for all different ethnicities from African (varied by location) to Asia and Historic. Also includes fantasy and folklore name generators. It's my go to name generator for everything. You can also generate a description of a character or design your own map.
Cost: Free
✎ The Story Shack
Use: Generating names, creating your own generator, writing exercises.
Good For: Generating names, obviously. But also practicing writing through offered exercises.
Cost: Free
✎ RanGen
Use: Generating plots, appearances, archetypes, love interests, cities, worlds, items, and more.
Good For: What I just said previously. Very helpful.
Cost: Free
Images:
✎ Free Images for Commercial Use
Use: Pictures!
Good For: Whatever you want!
Cost: Free
Story Development & Plot:
＄✎ E.A. Deverell Workshop & Worksheet Index
Use: Learn how to plot your stories and build your world.
Good For: Character building, world building, narration, plot formula, prompts, ideas, genres, development. You name it, Eva has it.
Cost: Paid Courses, Free Worksheets & Tips.
＄✎ Story Planner
Use: Planning your story. Obvs.
Good For: People who need a little guidance with outlining and implementing before they jump into their story. Takes yous sentence by sentence building summaries and such.
Cost: Paid & Free Planners
Search Engines:
✎ Hiveword
Use: Search Engine!
Good For: Researching topics for your writing! This website has many links to articles that can expand your knowledge on writing. Also has name and location generator!
Cost: Free
Writing Software:
✎ Pages (iOS)
Use: Mobile Word Processor
Good For: Tagging folder system for organization, export documents, good for apple pencil, multiple formats & templates. Sync's w/ iCloud.
Cost: Free
＄✎ Liquid Story Binder XE by Black Obelisk Software (Windows)
Use: Liquid Story Binder XE is a uniquely designed word processor for professional and aspiring authors, poets, and novelists. Writing software for those who require the editing ability of a commercial text editor as well as a document tracking system. It is for those who want the freedom to create, outline and revise but are tired of losing track of their work.
Good For: Keeping your writing in one place, organization, compiling into one document, no internet connection required.
Perks: Drop Box Compatible
Cost: $45.95 US, free trial, one payment.
🐝＄✎ Scrivener (Mac, Windows, iOS)
Use: Scrivener is a word-processing program and outliner designed for authors. Scrivener provides a management system for documents, notes and metadata. This allows the user to organize notes, concepts, research, and whole documents for easy access and reference.
Good For: Keeping your writing in one place, organization, compiling into one document, no internet connection required.
Perks: Drop Box Compatible
Cost: $59.99 US (50.99 students & academics), $23.99 US for iPad, iPhone, or iPod Touch, free trial, one payment
Hey guys, you know about the Same Energy website right? has someone made a post about that? Cuz otherwise im gonna sing its praises to high heaven for its artistic references
Okay so I'm just gonna talk about it even if someone's already made a post, someone's gotta spread the word of this incredible website
So you go to the main page, and you like the vibes of one of these pictures
Lets click skull face lady.
It then gives you BUNCHES of images with similar vibes. Want to tweak it a little and narrow it down further? What if you like the vibe of thatt purple one more? Well u click that one and TADA
And you can just keep narrowing down from there, and if you make an account you can even save images you like :D
I know it sounds like i'm advertising for them but honestly i would GLADLY take money to advertise for these guys, their website is still only in beta mode but already I use this (or try to) for my art warmups because I get to try to do something a little different each time. (I would give money to support them but I am broke AF so that's why I'm just spreading the word instead ;A; )
And on the front page there's even an option to search with your own images I think! (Though, I tried to do that but I kept getting an Error, so I don't know if that's a Me With Bad Internet issue or a Website issue. Again, website is in beta, so if it is a problem on their end it will hopefully be fixed soon).
and i just love this website cuz its GREAT for collecting asthetics and vibes (i mean, hence the name "same energy")
It's like Pinterest on crack :0
So yeah :D Definitely go check out Same Energy, it is a GREAT resource for artists and those trying to collect specific vibes.
Sharing here bc helpful resource, but also to add on a few notes.
This is a search engine! Long pressing images on mobile will bring up where the engine found the image (not sure how to pull this up on desktop). It is no different from the images section of Google or Duck Duck Go or w/e else you use in this regard.
I specify this bc pintrest is a hellscape of stolen works :,) it's entire foundation is based on ppl finding aesthetic photos and art and uploading them to the site with no credit or permission. This isn't like that. It is a search engine.
Sometimes what it finds may be reuploads, which sucks, but it's not based in trying to do that. So if you like a photo you see, check out the source. If it seems ligit, consider helping the artist by leaving a tip or doing whatever pleases that site's algorithm.
I know I told this story before but last year I was having complications with a surgery and I just broke down in a public place and I was trying to gather myself, sitting and leaning on a wall when this girl in cowboy boots approached me and sat down and she asked what was wrong and I told her it was medical issues and she said “I understand, I have to have my foot amputated next week” and it shocked me out of crying and I was like “wow that sucks!” And she said “yeah.” And then she just touched my arm so tenderly and told me “I promise you that this problem will have its place, and everything is going to work out.” And the way she said it just made me really believe her. She said. “We’re just gonna have to cowgirl up.” And then she stood up and walked away and I’d call that a genuine encounter with an angel but the truth is there is a lot of goodness right here on earth in humanity and it’s shining and pure.
THAT REALLY STRUCK ME because I’ve always hated the tired rhetoric of “this happened for a reason” and this feels like a more genuine, comforting take on that. Not “it happened for a reason,” but “this will find its spot in your life and your future that it fits into in a way that will eventually work out even though it sucks that it happened.” Love that.
