I'm A Nice Guy(tm)

the price of freedom is high. SO AM I ROFLMAO about

[goodbrosteverogers]

Has anybody heard from Sam and Bucky? I think they’re playing hooky and not answering their phones.

[goodbrosteverogers]

Whoa, it’s been a while! Maintaining a beard and working on my forearm and grip strength has taken up a lot of my time.

[goodbrosteverogers]

I realize this sounds suspiciously like I’ve been uhhhh doing some self care, but I can assure you it’s completely innocent.

[goodbrosteverogers]

Whoa, it’s been a while! Maintaining a beard and working on my forearm and grip strength has taken up a lot of my time.

[goodbrosteverogers]

Have you ever been flying the quinjet at top speed to save the world and Bucky suddenly stumbles out of the baggage locker all like: "where the Cheetos at?" "Who's dic imma suck first?"

YES, @fckboybucky has crawled out of all manner of holes and propositioned @samchillson and me at inopportune moments

[samchillson]

In response to the Imposter Steve question .... If it still looks like Steve but can cook real good .... Maybe you won't care it's not the real Steve? #upgrade

🤔I mean uhof course i’ll want the real Steve! who else has such a big, loving heartcan Impostor Steve make us brunch tho 

[goodbrosteverogers]

A Steve that can cook would really be the entire package... I would resign 😔

[samchillson]

Do you ever fear that one day Steve is going to come back from a mission...only its not Steve it's an alien/android/shapeshifter in Steve's body but you won't know that it's not the real Steve???

well fuckin now i got that fearshould i develop a code that only the real Steve wud know??yo @goodbrosteverogers … when I say I’ll do that thing you like, which response is most accurate for you:A) Gosh, That Sounds Keen!B) Just Call Me The Plumber, Because I’m Here To Lay Pipe (Bucky told me to say that)C) [no verbal response, just picking Sam up and carrying him to the bedroom]hmmmmmmmmm

[goodbrosteverogers]

D) A and C!

[samchillson]

sry i been away lmao !! @goodbrosteverogers wouldnt let me outta bed lol i’ll get to some of ur questions soon 

[goodbrosteverogers]

Yeahhhhh we’ve been practicing.....

FOR OUR WEDDING NIGHT 🎉🎊🎉

[goodbrosteverogers]

Dude, there's a bird's nest made entirely of tiny men's thongs in white, blue and red a few streets down from your and Sam's place. You missing something?

Let the birds in the house, he said! It’ll be fine, he said!

I’m going commando right now and it is YOUR FAULT, @samchillson

[samchillson]

oh noooo you’re going commando 😏

[goodbrosteverogers]

my balls are COLD, samuel

[goodbrosteverogers]

I guess even Captain America has shitty days. It can't be easy being a role model all the time. You must have times when you feel like flipping people off and going to drink alone in the shadows. Hugs to you.

I do kinda... lose my temper a lot. But I try to be good! Gotta think of the children before I throw a guy through a window.

[goodbrosteverogers]

You won the hearts Peggy, Sam and Bucky. That's three more significant others than I've ever had. That's why I considered you an expert on dating. Tell me how you wooed them. Please man, I need help.

I think the evidence shows that my sincere awkward flirting somehow won the attention of three very special individuals. Be yourself!

[goodbrosteverogers]

What's the best way to ask a girl out for a date? I originally asked Bucky this question and he texted me a picture of his dick. I wasn't sure if that was supposed to be the answer to my question or if he was trying to proposition me. Anyways, I need a real answer from an expert so I'm asking you.

Re: Bucky. Probably both.Yeah, uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I’ve dated a lot of girls. Asked them out all by myself and everything. Been uhhhh out with girls a lot on dates and such.I usually ask them out by... uhm... Hey, @samchillson take the wheel!

[goodbrosteverogers]

Dude, there's a bird's nest made entirely of tiny men's thongs in white, blue and red a few streets down from your and Sam's place. You missing something?

Let the birds in the house, he said! It’ll be fine, he said!I’m going commando right now and it is YOUR FAULT, @samchillson

[goodbrosteverogers]

What's it like waking up in the morning looking shredded ? If I were you I'd never wear clothes.

I’ve had a really fuckin terrible night if I wake up shredded. It’s only happened once. These alien robots broke in and started attacking me. Really rough morning

[goodbrosteverogers]

Who wears the tights in your superhero relationship?

Obviously I do because if Sam wore anything less than the tight but technically not “tights” tactical pants to keep him warm, he’d freeze when flying at high altitude!

[goodbrosteverogers]

Do you stand or sit to pee?

What the fuck kinda question I stand, and the force of my pee shatters the toilet. Is this what you wanted Anon? Now everybody knows I have to take shame pees in a vibranium toilet that I secretly asked Tchalla to make for me.

[samchillson]

Do you and Steve watch Golden Girls reruns? I have a feeling that Sophia would be your type of gal.

SOPHIA IS MY GIRL but I love Dorothy too hmmmmm…@goodbrosteverogers babe, who’s your fave again? i know you like Blanche’s ‘moxie’ 

[goodbrosteverogers]

I definitely watch this show with my full attention at all times, and my favorite is Bulbasaur--I mean Delores. Is there a Delores? Shit.

[samchillson]

Both you and Steve have a thing for strong, tough women. And those tough women seem to have a thing for pretty men.

damn nonny, u rightaww u think im pretty?

[goodbrosteverogers]

Follow up question: do those strong, tough women have a thing for each other?

EYYYY