I don't fucking care if you like it.

lucy || 26 || los angeles coffee/books/jokes title is an amy poehler quote.

[goodfuckingcoffee]

I called one of the first grade classrooms today to ask about attendance, and the teacher held the phone out and said “guys, don’t we love ms lucy? tell ms lucy we love her” so they all yelled “we love you!” then she told them to say goodbye and one of the boys thought she meant forever, not bc I was quitting or dying, but bc he thought perhaps I was retiring 🤷🏼‍♀️ after explaining I was too young to retire, he said “she should be a sports star. they always retire young.” and now, I’m really considering it, ty

[goodfuckingcoffee]

earlier today the office phone mysteriously connected to the PA system and I didn’t know until I got a panicked call from my bestie going STOP TALKING STOP TALKING YOU’RE PROJECTING ALL OVER CAMPUS WE CAN ALL HEAR YOU so now I have something new to fear

[goodfuckingcoffee]

in-person school started today, later than other private schools in LA,* and we’re still out a Secret Number of peeps so I was alone in the office today being super sarcastically chipper bc that’s what happens when I’m stressed (I’m a joy) (this is right before I become a ✨major bitch✨) and I answered a call from one of the teachers and she straight up said she didn’t recognize me bc I “sounded too happy to be lucy” and I just 🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️ commit to the bit babes

[goodfuckingcoffee]

one of the first graders gave me a hug while I was out on a walk and another kid (who started this year) mouthed “is she your daughter?” And I said no and this other kid yells “oh my gosh you can read sign language?!”

[goodfuckingcoffee]

one of the kindergarteners came in bc his ride was late and brought up how (pre-covid) when he’d come to drop off his sister, I’d give him candy. then he got really hesitant when I offered him candy and said, “thank you but I have 2 old people living in my house so I’m being very careful for my family” which is the single sweetest/funniest thing I’ve heard all day, esp when I walked him out to his car later and said “looks like grandma is picking you up” and he goes “yeah that’s the old person I was telling you about” 💀💀

[goodfuckingcoffee]

I picked up the phone at work and heard “I’m stalking you” and for a split second I was like WTF before realizing it’s one of the moms joking bc she called earlier and I said “dude I almost reported this call” and she goes bc I’m soooooo threatening I was like “imagine you work the front desk of an elementary school in the US and pick up a call with someone saying THAT” and she goes yeah you’re right my bad 💀 I can’t

[goodfuckingcoffee]

we had our first grade families on campus for assembly this morning which was gr9 except I don’t know what a bunch of them look like (I only see them in their cars at carpool IF THAT) but they know me so as I’m walking by people are calling my name and waving to me and I’m waving back, hoping my face doesn’t look like 🤨

[javierbardem]

He was a good dad, and I don’t think he knew that. I think if he would’ve known how good he was at stuff he didn’t really care about being good at, he– I don’t think he would’ve done what he– and I wish I would’ve told him. I wish I would’ve told him more. I was just so angry at him. ‘Cause he was always going to work and just out with friends or something like that, and then he was gone.

[sabertoothwalrus]

fuck you (affectionate)

[andyridgeley]

sam obisanya my beloved + text post meme

[msjessicaday]

i literally just woke up and i’m crying

[7244395]

[goodfuckingcoffee]

a parent told me she was calling to ask me a question a bunch of parents were asking her and she goes “Idk why people call me thinking I know the answers” and I said “yeah, me either” SO I SAY AGAIN we can’t start school, my filter has d i s a p p e a r e d

[goodfuckingcoffee]

during an opening of school icebreaker activity where we were discussing belonging*, one of the new teachers singled me out to say I’d been really sweet to her all summer and how she was impressed with how quickly I knew her name and how nice I was and when I tell you the rest of our group lost it laughing I am not joking 💀 then covered it up with no no lucy’s the best and separately afterwards, all the veterans were like “lmao @ being so new lucy isn’t hitting you with sass at every turn yet”

[goodfuckingcoffee]

one of our moms called panicking about missing a deadline and I was like well that was extended and also it was wednesday anyway and she said “lucy TODAY is wednesday” and verbatim I said “dude are you okay??? it’s not” don’t start school yet I’m not ready

[goodfuckingcoffee]

so we let our kindergarten parents walk their kids to their classrooms today, the second time we’ve really had parents here (first was graduation a couple weeks ago). I went out to do something and instantly forgot what that something was bc I was running from one person to another. truly one of my best mornings here

[goodfuckingcoffee]

school wrapped last week similar to how it began* in that everyone said it’s the last day but it didn’t feel like it bc we’re still at zero parents in the office and none of us were allowed to go to graduation** so kids were here and then they weren’t 🙃 I can’t believe this year actually ended. what a fucking ride. please never make me do that again. (no worries—camp starts in exactly one week)

[goodfuckingcoffee]

I saw one of our parents on the street as I was coming back from lunch and we both yelled ARE YOU HUGGING and then I charged her so that’s where I’m at as far as covid is concerned